{KRW/SSS}Four Things Ryuunosuke Learned From His Insane Runaway Detective of a Little Brother
Part of 
seito_sokusha's Duct Tape Pieces, written as part of a request of "omg, Ryuu forcing Chiaki to crossdress lololol WRITE IT", or something very similar to that.
Title: Four Things Ryuunosuke Learned From His Insane Runaway Detective of a Little Brother (And One Ryuunosuke Never Learned (Kinda))
Author: Mayhem
Word Count: 1967
Rating: PG
Author Notes: Written (with permission) for the Duct Tape Pieces universe. Contains, well, not spoilers, but heavy references to SSS 37, The Great Glue Battle!
Summary: Just because they can't see each other now doesn't mean they forget about each other. It'll take a lot more than Dopants and Gedoshuu to make that happen.
4 How to Tail Someone (Properly)
“I really think that guy is suspicious. He keeps poking around the Gedoshuu attack sites, and then slinking away. I wonder what he could be doing...?”
“All right, let's follow him and see where he goes,” Kotoha said cheerfully. “We'd be just like detectives!”
“Ah!” Ryuunosuke started. “Actually, the fewer people you have to follow someone, the better, though two is ideal.”
“Huh?” Chiaki said. “What makes you the expert on following people?”
Ryuunosuke just smiled. “'A pro has their set of pro tailing techniques',” he quoted, though none of the other could tell from what. “Tono-sama?”
Takeru thought about it for a second, and then sighed. “Yes, fine, go. You and Kotoha-chan follow, and report back on his movements. We'll head back first and work on plans for defeating this Gedoshuu.”
“Hai~” Ryuunosuke said, and then offered Kotoha his arm. “May I escort you in the general direction of the way that guy went?”
She nodded, trying to hold in a smile. “You may.”
He took her hand as they headed out, and said, “Smile! Laugh! Come on, we're just two friends on a not-a-date that happen to be strolling this way.”
“Ah,” she said, smiling broadly now. “So that's why it's best to have two people?”
“Yup! You can blend in to any crowd, and you don't look as suspicious if they do happen to glance at you. Also, it gives you reasons to stop in random locations, and two sets of eyes are better than one.”
“Wow, you really have thought all this out, haven't you, Ryuunosuke-kun?” She kept darting looks at him, though her eyes inevitably slid back to their quarry.
“Not really, no,” he answered, “I learned it from-” but he stopped, pulling her suddenly towards a shop window. “He's looking!” he hissed, and bless her, Kotoha immediately started cooing over some trinket or something in the window.
“Can we go in?” She asked, eyes wide with faked enthusiasm. He bit down on his smile.
“Remember, it's your birthday soon. You're only allowed to point stuff out for me to remember, not buy anything,” he told her, and she quickly turned her real laugh into a cutesy giggle. “Let's keep going,” he added, and they resumed walking after the target, who was now a few feet further ahead of them.
“You're good at this,” he complimented.
“Yes,” she nodded, and fluttered her lashes at him. “But you're better.”
“Nonsense,” he said, patting her hand, and together, they set out to see where their target was going.
3 How To Deal With Stubborn Idiots
"Hey, little brother, how do you manage having an irritating partner stuck to you? It doesn't work...!"
There was a scramble of noises, and another voice came over the phone, far too loud. "Hey, who you calling irritating, moron!"
"Gimme the phone back, moron!"
"No, stupid dork!"
Shoutarou sighed, holding his phone away from his ear. “...and now you know my pain, brother."
There was the sounds of a brief scuffle, and then Ryuuosuke’s voice came back over the phone. “Seriously, how do you deal with Philip every day without wanting to punch his face?”
“What makes you think I don’t?” He asked, a little wryly. “No, mostly, I just ignore anything that comes out of his mouth, and drag him along. He pouts and talks, but will generally go if you physically move him. Does that help?”
“Actually, it does!” Ryuunosuke said, beaming. “That’s good advice. Thanks, Shoutarou!”
He hung up a few secods later, looked at Chiaki over their bound wrists, and said, “We’re going to do the shopping for the kuroko. Come on.”
Chiaki protested, rather violently and vitriolically.
Ryuunosuke thought of his brother and his other ‘brother’, smiled grimly, and started walking.
2 Why Wearing A Hat Is Cool
One day, Ryuunosuke showed up wearing a baseball cap.
No one had the faintest clue why.
Chiaki stole it, and turned it over and over, examining it until Ryuunosuke stole it back.
“Why do you have a hat?” Mako asked. “You never wear hats.”
Ryuunosuke scowled, and set it properly on his head. “It was a gift. And I have it from a very reliable source that hats are cool.”
So of course Chiaki jumped, grabbing the brim and pulling. Ryuunosuke’s head was pulled forward, until it slid off. He tossed the hat to Genta, who examines it, too.
“It’s just a hat,” Genta said, baffled. “Not even a particularly nice hat.” He frisbeed it back to Chiaki as soon as Ryuunosuke reached him.
Takeru stepped in, catching it between the two boys. He handed it back to Ryuunosuke, remarking mildly, “If it was a gift, you should be more careful with it.”
“Ah,” Ryuunosuke said, and bowed sharply. “Thank you, Tono-sama. I will.”
“Oh, and Ryuunosuke? Some types of hats are cooler than others.”
And Takeru swept out of the room, leaving Ryuunosuke with his hat in hands and jaw on the floor.
1 Crossdressing For Battle Conditions
“Why isn't it you doing this, again?” Chiaki demanded, struggling a little against his bonds.
“Because I'm the only one with a ranged weapon,” Ryuunosuke reminded him absently. He turned another page, read what he found there, and raised his eyebrow at it. He continued to mumble to himself and went back to digging in a box.
Chiaki eyed the box with distaste and mounting horror as Ryuunosuke pulled little compacts and tubes out of it. “So? Who needs ranged? I could be on watch, and when he appeared just, uh, run really fast?”
Ryuunosuke snorted. “If you get Tono-sama to agree to it,” he capitulated, and threw a smile over his shoulder to Takeru, whose lips were curling up, just a bit, just at the edges. He wouldn't have even caught it if he didn't know to look for it.
But Chiaki saw it too, and knew he was doomed. He pulled harder at the ropes, but was firmly stuck. Ryuunosuke watched him, and then nodded to himself. “Shoutarou was right, those knots are better,” he murmured, causing a pen appear and making a note on the page. Then he dropped the sheaf of papers to the floor and said, “I'll be right back; I need something from my room.”
If Chiaki strained forward a little and tilted his head, he could just glimpse some of the messy, crabbed scrawl on the pages. It said such horrifying things as "This gloss lasts longer while fighting," and "This foundation hides scars really well." He frowned, and then almost blew up when he read, "Tie your victim down before you start or they'll twitch. See next page for Five Fool-proof Reasons To Convince Your Victim They Must Crossdress For Justice (applicable to any situation)."
“Hey!” he yelled. “Hey, this isn't fair! I'll get you for this, you bastard!”
Ryuunosuke reappeared in the doorway, balancing more compacts. “Sure you will,” he said agreeably. “Now close your eyes and hold your breath.”
Chiaki did as instructed, and then quickly did the opposite. “No! Seriously! This is insulting and demeaning and I refuse to be a part of it.”
Takeru nodded once behind them, and said, “So you'd rather leave the girls on their own against the Gedoshuu?”
Chiaki opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He knew that Mako-chan and Kotoha-chan were perfectly able to look after themselves, but plans do go wrong, and his honor as a man demanded that he look after them anyways. Kotoha was still so young....
“Fine,” he growled, closing his eyes again. “Just hurry up, will you? The less time spent like this, the better.”
~@~
The trap, with its bait of three teenage girls, works perfectly. Only, it turns out the Gedoshuu wasn’t a Gedoshuu, just some idiot in a rented costume, using the monsters’ reputation for his own despicable purposes.
Chiaki was immeasurably glad he was there to step in front of the girls. Of course, then they flanked him, and the three proceeded to take turns kicking the guys ass six ways to Sunday.
He was breathing a touch heavily, wondering whyit was so much harder to fight in tights and heels, when the girls recovered enough to start chatting.
“Ne, Chiaki-kun, why is your make-up still perfect?” Mako asked, peering closely at his face.
“Eh?” he asked, and then searched his pockets and purse for a mirror.
“It's true!” Kotoha said. “Look, the lipgloss isn't even smeared! And the mascara didn't run from sweat, and the powder is still patted down perfectly! Mou, that's not fair.”
“What?” Chiaki gave up hunting for mirrors, and decided to go hunting for bastard Ryuunosukes instead. “I did not do this. I did not volunteer for this. It's all that idiot Ryuunosuke's fault. He did this to me!”
“Really?” Mako asked. “All right, let's talk to Ryuunosuke-kun about it.”
“Yes!” Kotoha cheered, and that was about when the other Shinkengers showed up.
“Is everyone okay?” Ryuunosuke asked hurredly, looking around for any threats.
“No,” Chiaki said, “I'm not okay.” And he launched a kick at Ryuunosuke's head, but the boy dodged easily.
“My little brother can kick twice that high in heels twice as tall,” Ryuunosuke taunted, a little bit proud of his honorary little brother, and also a little horrified that he could utter that sentence and have it be true.
“Wait, what?” Chiaki stopped his pursuit to place his hands on his hips. “Seriously? Your family is weird.”
“Hey, is that who I met in Fuuto that one time?” Kotohan wondered, recalling a brash but kind detective with inexplicable knowledge of the Shinkengers. “The detective?”
“Yup!” Ryuunosuke said proudly. “Well, no, that's my real little brother.”
“I met him, too!” Genta exclaimed. “Oh, is that Ryuunosuke’s brother? That explains a lot!”
And Ryuunosuke couldn’t help but beam. “Yes! He’s a great detective. He's also the one who perfected make-up that stays on for battling.”
“Oh! Yes, tell us all about that?” Mako asked, and she and Kotoha came up to walk on either side of Ryuunosuke.
“Sure,” he was saying. “We've worked out a list of products and techniques that I can show you. He's the one who sent me that manual I was working from earlier; he's really good at make-up, but then, he's had a lot of practice....”
Chiaki waited a little longer, realized no one was waiting for him, and flounced after them. “So not fair,” he mumbled to himself, and started plotting revenge.
And the One He Didn’t Learn (Kinda): 01 Gullibility
When they were kids, Shoutarou took it upon himself to teach his big brother how to be a more practical human being.
“Oh! A UFO!” he’d say, and point.
“Where?” Ryuuosuke would say, every single time, looking around.
“Brother,” Shoutarou would sigh. “Really, now....”
Right up until the next cry of “Oh! A moose!” or “Oh! A monster!”, or even, “Oh! A Kabuki actor!” while pointing directly at Ryuunosuke.
The elder invariably turned around, looking frantically, saying “Where? Where?”
What Shoutarou didn’t know, and what Ryuunosuke would never tell him, is that he long since learned what was real and what was a distraction. But Shoutarou thought he was helping, and it was honestly kind of a game, now.
So when Mako said, “Oh! A Gedoshuu!” he dropped without looking, but when Genta said “Oh! Santa Claus!” he didn’t even bat an eye.
But on the phone occasionally, Shoutarou said, “Oh! A cat-demon!” and Ryuunosuke would say, “Where? Where?” and Shoutarou would sigh and proclaim him hopeless, and Ryuunosuke would smile.
seito_sokusha's Duct Tape Pieces, written as part of a request of "omg, Ryuu forcing Chiaki to crossdress lololol WRITE IT", or something very similar to that.
Title: Four Things Ryuunosuke Learned From His Insane Runaway Detective of a Little Brother (And One Ryuunosuke Never Learned (Kinda))
Author: Mayhem
Word Count: 1967
Rating: PG
Author Notes: Written (with permission) for the Duct Tape Pieces universe. Contains, well, not spoilers, but heavy references to SSS 37, The Great Glue Battle!
Summary: Just because they can't see each other now doesn't mean they forget about each other. It'll take a lot more than Dopants and Gedoshuu to make that happen.
4 How to Tail Someone (Properly)
“I really think that guy is suspicious. He keeps poking around the Gedoshuu attack sites, and then slinking away. I wonder what he could be doing...?”
“All right, let's follow him and see where he goes,” Kotoha said cheerfully. “We'd be just like detectives!”
“Ah!” Ryuunosuke started. “Actually, the fewer people you have to follow someone, the better, though two is ideal.”
“Huh?” Chiaki said. “What makes you the expert on following people?”
Ryuunosuke just smiled. “'A pro has their set of pro tailing techniques',” he quoted, though none of the other could tell from what. “Tono-sama?”
Takeru thought about it for a second, and then sighed. “Yes, fine, go. You and Kotoha-chan follow, and report back on his movements. We'll head back first and work on plans for defeating this Gedoshuu.”
“Hai~” Ryuunosuke said, and then offered Kotoha his arm. “May I escort you in the general direction of the way that guy went?”
She nodded, trying to hold in a smile. “You may.”
He took her hand as they headed out, and said, “Smile! Laugh! Come on, we're just two friends on a not-a-date that happen to be strolling this way.”
“Ah,” she said, smiling broadly now. “So that's why it's best to have two people?”
“Yup! You can blend in to any crowd, and you don't look as suspicious if they do happen to glance at you. Also, it gives you reasons to stop in random locations, and two sets of eyes are better than one.”
“Wow, you really have thought all this out, haven't you, Ryuunosuke-kun?” She kept darting looks at him, though her eyes inevitably slid back to their quarry.
“Not really, no,” he answered, “I learned it from-” but he stopped, pulling her suddenly towards a shop window. “He's looking!” he hissed, and bless her, Kotoha immediately started cooing over some trinket or something in the window.
“Can we go in?” She asked, eyes wide with faked enthusiasm. He bit down on his smile.
“Remember, it's your birthday soon. You're only allowed to point stuff out for me to remember, not buy anything,” he told her, and she quickly turned her real laugh into a cutesy giggle. “Let's keep going,” he added, and they resumed walking after the target, who was now a few feet further ahead of them.
“You're good at this,” he complimented.
“Yes,” she nodded, and fluttered her lashes at him. “But you're better.”
“Nonsense,” he said, patting her hand, and together, they set out to see where their target was going.
3 How To Deal With Stubborn Idiots
"Hey, little brother, how do you manage having an irritating partner stuck to you? It doesn't work...!"
There was a scramble of noises, and another voice came over the phone, far too loud. "Hey, who you calling irritating, moron!"
"Gimme the phone back, moron!"
"No, stupid dork!"
Shoutarou sighed, holding his phone away from his ear. “...and now you know my pain, brother."
There was the sounds of a brief scuffle, and then Ryuuosuke’s voice came back over the phone. “Seriously, how do you deal with Philip every day without wanting to punch his face?”
“What makes you think I don’t?” He asked, a little wryly. “No, mostly, I just ignore anything that comes out of his mouth, and drag him along. He pouts and talks, but will generally go if you physically move him. Does that help?”
“Actually, it does!” Ryuunosuke said, beaming. “That’s good advice. Thanks, Shoutarou!”
He hung up a few secods later, looked at Chiaki over their bound wrists, and said, “We’re going to do the shopping for the kuroko. Come on.”
Chiaki protested, rather violently and vitriolically.
Ryuunosuke thought of his brother and his other ‘brother’, smiled grimly, and started walking.
2 Why Wearing A Hat Is Cool
One day, Ryuunosuke showed up wearing a baseball cap.
No one had the faintest clue why.
Chiaki stole it, and turned it over and over, examining it until Ryuunosuke stole it back.
“Why do you have a hat?” Mako asked. “You never wear hats.”
Ryuunosuke scowled, and set it properly on his head. “It was a gift. And I have it from a very reliable source that hats are cool.”
So of course Chiaki jumped, grabbing the brim and pulling. Ryuunosuke’s head was pulled forward, until it slid off. He tossed the hat to Genta, who examines it, too.
“It’s just a hat,” Genta said, baffled. “Not even a particularly nice hat.” He frisbeed it back to Chiaki as soon as Ryuunosuke reached him.
Takeru stepped in, catching it between the two boys. He handed it back to Ryuunosuke, remarking mildly, “If it was a gift, you should be more careful with it.”
“Ah,” Ryuunosuke said, and bowed sharply. “Thank you, Tono-sama. I will.”
“Oh, and Ryuunosuke? Some types of hats are cooler than others.”
And Takeru swept out of the room, leaving Ryuunosuke with his hat in hands and jaw on the floor.
1 Crossdressing For Battle Conditions
“Why isn't it you doing this, again?” Chiaki demanded, struggling a little against his bonds.
“Because I'm the only one with a ranged weapon,” Ryuunosuke reminded him absently. He turned another page, read what he found there, and raised his eyebrow at it. He continued to mumble to himself and went back to digging in a box.
Chiaki eyed the box with distaste and mounting horror as Ryuunosuke pulled little compacts and tubes out of it. “So? Who needs ranged? I could be on watch, and when he appeared just, uh, run really fast?”
Ryuunosuke snorted. “If you get Tono-sama to agree to it,” he capitulated, and threw a smile over his shoulder to Takeru, whose lips were curling up, just a bit, just at the edges. He wouldn't have even caught it if he didn't know to look for it.
But Chiaki saw it too, and knew he was doomed. He pulled harder at the ropes, but was firmly stuck. Ryuunosuke watched him, and then nodded to himself. “Shoutarou was right, those knots are better,” he murmured, causing a pen appear and making a note on the page. Then he dropped the sheaf of papers to the floor and said, “I'll be right back; I need something from my room.”
If Chiaki strained forward a little and tilted his head, he could just glimpse some of the messy, crabbed scrawl on the pages. It said such horrifying things as "This gloss lasts longer while fighting," and "This foundation hides scars really well." He frowned, and then almost blew up when he read, "Tie your victim down before you start or they'll twitch. See next page for Five Fool-proof Reasons To Convince Your Victim They Must Crossdress For Justice (applicable to any situation)."
“Hey!” he yelled. “Hey, this isn't fair! I'll get you for this, you bastard!”
Ryuunosuke reappeared in the doorway, balancing more compacts. “Sure you will,” he said agreeably. “Now close your eyes and hold your breath.”
Chiaki did as instructed, and then quickly did the opposite. “No! Seriously! This is insulting and demeaning and I refuse to be a part of it.”
Takeru nodded once behind them, and said, “So you'd rather leave the girls on their own against the Gedoshuu?”
Chiaki opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He knew that Mako-chan and Kotoha-chan were perfectly able to look after themselves, but plans do go wrong, and his honor as a man demanded that he look after them anyways. Kotoha was still so young....
“Fine,” he growled, closing his eyes again. “Just hurry up, will you? The less time spent like this, the better.”
~@~
The trap, with its bait of three teenage girls, works perfectly. Only, it turns out the Gedoshuu wasn’t a Gedoshuu, just some idiot in a rented costume, using the monsters’ reputation for his own despicable purposes.
Chiaki was immeasurably glad he was there to step in front of the girls. Of course, then they flanked him, and the three proceeded to take turns kicking the guys ass six ways to Sunday.
He was breathing a touch heavily, wondering whyit was so much harder to fight in tights and heels, when the girls recovered enough to start chatting.
“Ne, Chiaki-kun, why is your make-up still perfect?” Mako asked, peering closely at his face.
“Eh?” he asked, and then searched his pockets and purse for a mirror.
“It's true!” Kotoha said. “Look, the lipgloss isn't even smeared! And the mascara didn't run from sweat, and the powder is still patted down perfectly! Mou, that's not fair.”
“What?” Chiaki gave up hunting for mirrors, and decided to go hunting for bastard Ryuunosukes instead. “I did not do this. I did not volunteer for this. It's all that idiot Ryuunosuke's fault. He did this to me!”
“Really?” Mako asked. “All right, let's talk to Ryuunosuke-kun about it.”
“Yes!” Kotoha cheered, and that was about when the other Shinkengers showed up.
“Is everyone okay?” Ryuunosuke asked hurredly, looking around for any threats.
“No,” Chiaki said, “I'm not okay.” And he launched a kick at Ryuunosuke's head, but the boy dodged easily.
“My little brother can kick twice that high in heels twice as tall,” Ryuunosuke taunted, a little bit proud of his honorary little brother, and also a little horrified that he could utter that sentence and have it be true.
“Wait, what?” Chiaki stopped his pursuit to place his hands on his hips. “Seriously? Your family is weird.”
“Hey, is that who I met in Fuuto that one time?” Kotohan wondered, recalling a brash but kind detective with inexplicable knowledge of the Shinkengers. “The detective?”
“Yup!” Ryuunosuke said proudly. “Well, no, that's my real little brother.”
“I met him, too!” Genta exclaimed. “Oh, is that Ryuunosuke’s brother? That explains a lot!”
And Ryuunosuke couldn’t help but beam. “Yes! He’s a great detective. He's also the one who perfected make-up that stays on for battling.”
“Oh! Yes, tell us all about that?” Mako asked, and she and Kotoha came up to walk on either side of Ryuunosuke.
“Sure,” he was saying. “We've worked out a list of products and techniques that I can show you. He's the one who sent me that manual I was working from earlier; he's really good at make-up, but then, he's had a lot of practice....”
Chiaki waited a little longer, realized no one was waiting for him, and flounced after them. “So not fair,” he mumbled to himself, and started plotting revenge.
And the One He Didn’t Learn (Kinda): 01 Gullibility
When they were kids, Shoutarou took it upon himself to teach his big brother how to be a more practical human being.
“Oh! A UFO!” he’d say, and point.
“Where?” Ryuuosuke would say, every single time, looking around.
“Brother,” Shoutarou would sigh. “Really, now....”
Right up until the next cry of “Oh! A moose!” or “Oh! A monster!”, or even, “Oh! A Kabuki actor!” while pointing directly at Ryuunosuke.
The elder invariably turned around, looking frantically, saying “Where? Where?”
What Shoutarou didn’t know, and what Ryuunosuke would never tell him, is that he long since learned what was real and what was a distraction. But Shoutarou thought he was helping, and it was honestly kind of a game, now.
So when Mako said, “Oh! A Gedoshuu!” he dropped without looking, but when Genta said “Oh! Santa Claus!” he didn’t even bat an eye.
But on the phone occasionally, Shoutarou said, “Oh! A cat-demon!” and Ryuunosuke would say, “Where? Where?” and Shoutarou would sigh and proclaim him hopeless, and Ryuunosuke would smile.