OH WOW.

[maynard256]

So, there's an earlier entry that goes along the lines of: BEST. SEX. EVAR.

Well, now I've REALLY had the...

BEST.

SEX.

EVAR.

Good GOD.

Hahaha, I LOVE keeping everyone in the house awake all night.

On purpose.I really thought my heart was going to explode at one point. After I was sure that my heart wasn't going to stop, I felt like my

Comments

[bigjb1877]

I hate you. I suck at life.

[maynard256]

You're SO JEALOUS. ;-)

[bigjb1877]

Yes.

See, I'm a handsome guy. I'm nice. I'm caring. I'm a gentleman. Apparently girls don't like that. I have a friend that got dumped by his bitch after 5 years. He's big and ugly and obnoxious and rude. He gets laid. This pisses me off. I had the WORST. SEX. EVER.* on giftmess eve. She just laid there like a lump of bread dough (I previously compared it to a sack of potatoes, but I think a sack of potatoes would have moved more). I need a piece to get that out of my mind. Anything would do. She doesn't even have to be that cute, as long as the sex is awesome. Ugh.

* It was SO BAD I couldn't get it up for almost 2 weeks. o.0 Beat that.

[maynard256]

Aww! My boyfriend is nice, and sweet, and totally attractive to the point that chicks hang all over him when we're out. He always ends up coming and snatching me up, though, and they all back off. Bitches. ;-)

And yes, I remember the sack of potatoes. That sounds like some awful sex, dude. I wish you the best of luck in the girl/sex hunt. And I mean that. NO ONE needs to experience sex like that. And I'm truly sorry that you had to. *Hug*

[acidblue]

i would fuck you better.

[maynard256]

It's entirely possible, seeing as how I've never gotten to fuck you. If we lived closer, I would totally let you try to one-up him, too. ;-)