Comments | maynard256: It hurts...

maynard256

It hurts...

Aug 13, 2006 12:13

I'm just done. I'm just fucking done with this. I'm so tired of feeling like shit for no reason. I'm tired of eating once a day. I'm kind of getting tired of the ridiculous alcohol consumption. I'm tired of sleeping all the fucking time. I'm tired of getting shitty with people for no reason. I'm tired of missing Mike because I feel like this. I ( Read more... )

Comments 22

anonymous August 13 2006, 18:11:31 UTC

I'm sorry shakeshaker! I don't want you to feel that way! I lovea you!! (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

maynard256 August 14 2006, 00:00:21 UTC

Thanks for hanging out with me. It really helped a lot. <3

verytwistedmind August 14 2006, 18:07:48 UTC

see the anonymous posters weren't me! well...except that one time.

verytwistedmind August 13 2006, 20:00:22 UTC

you know what you don't want. Do you know what you do want...?

Sorry this is so damn long. I get carried away sometimes... maynard256 August 14 2006, 00:19:37 UTC

I want this to not get any worse. Granted, this isn't anywhere near what I've felt before, but every time I even get a little sad for more than a couple days I get paranoid that my medicine will stop working again. It has so many times before that I should fucking get used to it, I guess.

I'm not to the point of cutting-- this is certainly not bad enough for that yet-- but if this goes on for much longer I'm going to have to call my psychologist. I'm just always terrified that I'll get to the point of yet another breakdown. I don't know how many more big ones I can handle before it just gets to be too much.

After the 2 hour freak out early this afternoon, I've been alright all day. I'm glad Mike doesn't mind sitting on the phone with me just listening to me cry. And I'm glad there's music. I'm sure I would have killed myself by now if I didn't have music.

Re: Sorry this is so damn long. I get carried away sometimes... verytwistedmind August 14 2006, 01:46:34 UTC

Do you show your tits ever? 'Cause that I would love to see. Sorry off topic. Hope life doesn't get you so down in the future. We all know what it's like to be at the mercy of how we feel. That's what your twenties are for -- it simmers down after a while. Really, it'll all calm down once you quit worrying about it. And if you want to show me your tits, that's awesome too.

Dale
http://doublefleea.blogspot.com

Re: Sorry this is so damn long. I get carried away sometimes... maynard256 August 14 2006, 03:56:55 UTC

Whoever you are, I've been suffering with a REAL mental illness since I was 16. It's called Bipolar, asshole, I'm not just LETTING my feelings get me down. That's why I take medicine and see a psychiatrist.

That's NOT what my fucking twenties are for. This isn't just piddly teen-angst bullshit spilling over into adulthood, this is something that WON'T all calm down once I quit worrying about it, it's a fucking CHRONIC ILLNESS. I will never be able to go a day with out medication for THE REST OF MY LIFE. READ UP ON IT, it's a real fucking joyride.

Do you approach women in person with the same kind of tact that you did me? If you do, I bet you're up to your neck in pussy. What kind of women buy that kind of shit? Because I'm sure they're all top shelf.

Did you also use that same kind of tact when you took this? I'm sure telling Anthony he has nice tits buttered him up well enough for him to just let you have it.

You're pathetic. Go trolling in someone else's journal, Jackass.

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