It was my birthday! And we had company!!
And if it wasn't EW and my Mr. Astin who came callin', and brought me many fine gifts!
We had a very nice party except that EW sweared too much.
Sean: Hey!
Elijah: Hello?
Plastic Samwise: Hullo, everyone. Hey, EW.
Plastic Samwise: *snuggles Frodo close*
Sean: *I give my Elijah a quick kiss*
Sean: Here we are!
Sean: All together again!
Sean: And we're celebrating Sam's birthday!!
Sean: Yea!
Plastic Samwise: *blushes* Thank'ee Mr. Astin, sir.
Elijah: Oh, I'm Elijah. Ok.
Sean: It's ok, babes.. *I* know who you are.
Sean: *giggles*
Plastic Samwise: *nudges Frodo and whispers.. * He don't even know who he *is* anymore, Mr. Frodo? That's bad.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Hello, everyone! Sam and I celebrated his birthday already. But we don't mind celebrating it again.
*** Elijah has left the chat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Did EW leave?
Sean: He'll be right back, Fro.
Sean: There he is! Let me invite him.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Please invite him, yes.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I don't think EW knows how to chat.
*** Elijah has joined the chat.
Elijah: Guys?
Sean: He's back!
Plastic Samwise: Welcome back, EW.
Elijah: Um,.. this is Elijah.
Plastic Samwise: We know that, EW.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Am I Frodo?
Sean: Sam.. be nice now.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I AM!
Sean: You are Frodo!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh I'm so happy!
Plastic Samwise: Now don't YOU go startin', Mr. Frodo
Sean: *cracks up laughing*
Elijah: Ok. Now the big question: Can we see the photos?
Sean: This is hilarious
Elijah: Oh dear god. I think this will work!
Sean: Sam.. I'm sorry we couldn't do this on your birthday.. .but we have some nice things for you
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, you shouldn't swear.
Elijah: I'm not fucking swearing.
Plastic Samwise: Thank'ee, Mr. Astin. *frowns* Did he swear again?
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not sure, Sam. I think he did!
Sean: Now, now.. you know EW doesn't mean anything by it.
Sean: It's just his habit
Elijah: Just share the presents, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He LOVES sayin' them dirty words. Gets him all excited 'n' stuff, I think.
Sean: *giggles at Sam*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Maybe! Should I be swearing, Sam? Would that excite you?
Sean: He doesn't really swear that much, Sam.. honest
Elijah: No! Frodo should NOT swear.
Plastic Samwise: Please, sir. You excite me just fine with your nice, sweet Hobbity talk.
Elijah: Frodo isn't a swearing kind of guy.
Plastic Samwise: Don't be usin' EW's words. It'd be too... .too.... unhobbit-like.
Sean: Nope. Frodo isn't.
Plastic Mr Frodo: All right, Sam. If you enjoy my present speech, I'll hold to it.
Sean: Sam.. what do you want first. Words? Cake and ice cream? Or presents?
Plastic Samwise: Aren't we havin' words now, Mr. Astin?
Sean: I mean some special words that I have just for you!
Elijah: Someone's having words. I'm not sure who it is, though.
Elijah: Lay it on him, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: Ok, Mr. Astin.. maybe your nice words'll drown out EW's swear words.
Sean: *cracks up*
Elijah: I only said 'fuck' once. Don't accuse me of any bullshit, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* There's another one.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers back* I'm keeping score.
Elijah: Sean, are you going to show Sam a present?
Sean: Yes!
Sean: Words
Sean: I have some words for you Sam.. special words just for you.
Elijah: Well, get on with it. And no swear words. Sam doesn't like them.
Sean: Sorry, Lij.. I was too busy laughing my ass off. Ooops!
Plastic Samwise: Mr. ASTIN!
Sean: Sorry, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *eyes widen*
Sean: OK!! Here's the first words.
Sean: For a gardener who we all love...
Sean: This is the garden's magic,
That through the sunny hours
The gardener who tends it,
Himself outgrows his flowers.
Sean: He grows by gift of patience,
Since he who sows must know
That only in the Maker's time
Does any seedling grow.
Sean: He learns from buds unfolding,
From each tight leaf unfurled,
That his own heart, expanding,
Is one with all the world.
Plastic Samwise: Oh, Mr. Astin! *wipes away a tear*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Lovely! Isn't it lovely, Sam?
Sean: He bares his head to sunshine,
His bending back a sign Of grace,
and ev'ry shower becomes
His sacramental wine.
Elijah: Fuckin' lovely.
Sean: *snickers* Lijah!
Sean: And when at last his labors
Bring forth the very stuff
And substance of all beauty
This is reward enough.
Sean: This is a poem for gardeners. And you are the best, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: You are, Sam, darling.
Elijah: Sean and I have a gardener. A Japanese one.
Plastic Samwise: Thank you, kindly, sweet, nice NOT-swearing, Mr. Astin. I loved this poem.
Sean: We do??
Plastic Mr Frodo: You're very thoughtful, Mr. Astin.
Elijah: We do, Sean.
Sean: Thank you, Fro.. and you too, SAm.
Sean: Ok.. another short one.
Sean: Connection with gardens, even small ones, even potted plants, can become windows to the inner life. The simple act of stopping and looking at the beauty around us can be prayer.
Sean: You help us all look at the beauty around us, Sam. And we thank you for it.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh that's beautiful, Mr. Astin!
Sean: Now, Elijah.. *I kiss him before he can say... 'fuckin' thank you for it'
Elijah: *I'm about to snark but Sean kisses me instead*
Plastic Samwise: *sniffs* Thank you, Mr. Astin. That's so very sweet and kind.. and not a swear word in it! *winks at Frodo*
Sean: *I hurriedly kiss Elijah again* Mmmmmm!
Sean: Ok.. one more.
Elijah: One more kiss?
Sean: From the very best source of all on gardeners.....
Sean: In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped most to hold him firm; but also deep down in him lived still unconquered his plain hobbit-sense:
Plastic Mr Frodo: *listens attentively*
Sean: He knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden, even if such visions were not a mere cheat to betray him.
Sean: The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command.
Sean: Those are fine thoughts.. and fine words, Sam.. and all about YOU.
Plastic Mr Frodo: The love of his master. *sighs*
Plastic Samwise: *I hide my face behind Mr. Frodo's arm.. and wipe my eyes.. * So very beautiful, Mr. Astin.. Mr. Tolkien's own words.. about me.
Sean: *I glance at Elijah*
Plastic Mr Frodo: A simple garden. That's Sam all over.
Sean: It is.
Sean: OK!
Sean: Time for presents!.. yes?
Elijah: *I whistle a tune*
Plastic Samwise: Yes!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Presents!
Sean: *I take adventage of Elijah's pursed lips and kiss him yet again*
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* They do that a lot don't they?
Elijah: *I kiss Sean back*
Plastic Mr Frodo: They certainly do. It's rather interesting, don't you think, Sam?
Plastic Samwise: *I nuzzle Mr. Frodo's cheek and kiss him too.. not to be outdone by non-hobbit persons*
Plastic Samwise: We can do that. We kiss as good as they do.
Plastic Mr Frodo: We do. We can and do and I love you.
Sean: Awww.. isnt that sweet???
Sean: OK.. presents!
Sean: First off Sam.. this year is gardener year!
Plastic Mr Frodo: I sensed that theme, Mr. Astin.
Sean: ...And in that spirit.. we baked you a very special cake.
Elijah: Is it made of dirt?
Sean: A POTATOE CAKE!
Plastic Mr Frodo: What a wonderful idea!
Plastic Samwise: Oh my STARS! LOOK at it, Mr. Frodo!
Plastic Mr Frodo: It looks delicious!
Sean: *I nuzzle Elijah.. * What you think, babe?
Elijah: It does look good. Sean wouldn't let me have any when he made it, though.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Of course not, EW! It's for Sam!
Sean: That's right, Frodo. It's for Sam.
Sean: And what would be a birthday celebration without ICE CREAM!
Sean: Strawberry ice cream!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Strawberry!!
Sean: Yes!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh, Sam loves that!
Sean: I know how you love it.. so we got strawberry for you.
Elijah: So do I.
Plastic Samwise: MMMM.. *I stick my finger into the ice cream and snag a strawberry.. which I hold out to Frodo.. * Want it, my sweet Frodo?
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh yes, please!
Sean: Well, look at you, Sam.
Elijah: Sam's just the little server, isn't he.
Plastic Samwise: *I slowly feed the strawberry to my precious Frodo.. *
Plastic Samwise: *..and shoot a sour look EW's way.. *
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I lick the strawberry from Sam's fingers*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Mmmm...tasty!
Sean: Lij! Be sweet now, baby. You know how to be sweet. *I kiss your cheek.. *
Sean: OK, Sam.. next present.
Elijah: I'm not as sweet as that strawberry that Frodo just ate.
Sean: See if you know what it is!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Guessing games!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Is it for composting?
Plastic Samwise: Uhmmm.. A pan to hold the ice cream?
Sean: Frodo! It IS! That's just what it is!
Sean: It's a compost pail.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! I guessed!
Plastic Samwise: OH!! How wonderful! Thank you, Mr. Astin.
Elijah: Do we compost, Sean?
Sean: You can make a Middle-earth friendly garden that way.
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, don't you know what happens in your own kitchen?
Plastic Samwise: Care to make a donation, EW?
Plastic Samwise: *snickers*
Sean: *dies laughing*
Elijah: I know what happens in my kitchen. Sean cooks and I eat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Interesting. Sam and I have sort of the same arrangement.
Sean: We don't compost, baby.. we don't have a very big garden.. and our gardener handles it.
Elijah: Ok, thanks.
Sean: Yeah.. we Sams are like that. We cook.. and our Frodos eat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: And we love our Sams.
Plastic Samwise: This is grand, Mr. Astin. Thank you!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I kiss Sam's cheek*
Plastic Samwise: *blushes* Thank'ee, my love.
Sean: Awww.. that's so sweet.
Elijah: Adorable.
Sean: Ok.. on with the gifts!
Sean: To keep away Neeker Breekers!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Perfect!
Plastic Samwise: Oh, Mr. Astin! *I grab it and dance around waving it in the air* I hates those dratted little midge flies! This is grand. It'll kill um' dead! Thank you.
Plastic Samwise: *I look at EW* Do you have Neeker-Breekers in your garden, EW?
Elijah: Sean and I don't get many annoying flies. Only annoying fangirls.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He wishes!
Sean: *giggles* Next gift! Moving right along!
Sean: Your very own gardener's backpack!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! How pretty!
Sean: Filled with gardening tools!
Plastic Mr Frodo: And very functional.
Plastic Samwise: And it's green to boot! My most favoritest color! I love it!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I hug Sam*
Sean: Yep.. it's very functional
Plastic Samwise: *I snuggle my Frodo.. and sneak a kiss to his pretty lips*
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I brush back Sam's golden curls*
Sean: This is a book of nice words about gardening, Sam. You can read from it to Frodo on nice summer nights.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I would love to have Sam read to me!
Elijah: Yeah, Sean reads me books about gardening all the time.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Does he, EW?
Plastic Samwise: Ohhh Mr. Astin. * touch the book lovingly* Books are one of my most favorite things. I'm so blessed that dear Mr. Bilbo taught me my letters.
Elijah: No, I'm kidding.
Sean: *snickers * Oh, sure, Fro! I do!
Sean: Lijah!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Bilbo was kind to you, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: I love Mr. Bilbo.
Elijah: Sean shows me por--photos. That's what he does.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Photos? That must be nice, EW.
Plastic Samwise: *I stroke the book lovingly * A wonderous gift, Mr. Astin, wonderous indeed.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Books are always a nice gift. Thank you, Mr. Astin.
Sean: *bends over double laughing*
Sean: And I feed him chocolate, Frodo.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! You spoil EW, Mr. Astin.
Sean: We have chocolate and por... poetry readings.
Plastic Mr Frodo: How artistic!
Elijah: Yeah, artistic.
Sean: Oh, yeah.. he's easy to spoil.
Elijah: I am.
Sean: Oh yeah.. VERY artistic! *nudges Elijah*
Sean: OK.. ON with the gifts!
Sean: A framed picture of someone you know very well.
Plastic Samwise: Ohhhhhhhhh!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh!
Elijah: MEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Plastic Samwise: *I touch the picture gently.. * Ohhhhh that face..
Plastic Mr Frodo: Not you, EW! Me!
Plastic Samwise: Ohhhh those lips. That skin!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I smile sweetly*
Plastic Samwise: *glares at EW* You don't like nothin' like my beautiful Frodo. Look at that short hair of yours.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I love you, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: *I kiss my beloved* And I love you, my Frodo.
Elijah: I have a beard. Frodo doesn't.
Plastic Samwise: See?
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He don't look nothin' like you, me dear. Don't fret.
Sean: *cracks up*
Sean: Ohh god
Sean: I love these foursome nights.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not fretting, darling.
Sean: Just a couple more.
Elijah: Now that we figured out how to share the pictures.
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, Mr. Astin figured it out. Not you.
Sean: This is your own private little greenhouse, Sam. Where you can start your plants before putting them in the ground.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Seedlings!
Plastic Samwise: Oh, stars and glory! Would you look at that!! A little house for seedlings to grow in! How sweet it is!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Sam will make good use of this greenhouse, I assure you!
Plastic Samwise: What a wonderous birthday this is!
Sean: And one last gift before we cut the cake, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Mr. Astin is spoiling YOU, Sam.
Sean: So that you can take care of your seedlings.. and be happy yourself at the same time......
Sean: An OLIPHAUNT watering can!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I wrinkle my perfectly-formed brow*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! I wasn't sure at first!
Plastic Samwise: OHHH MY!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: That's funny!
Plastic Samwise: *I get up and start to dance around the room*
Plastic Samwise: Grey as a mouse,
Big as a house,
Nose like a snake,
I make the earth shake,
Plastic Samwise: As I tramp through the grass,
Trees crack as I pass.
With horns in my mouth,
I walk in the South,
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I clap my hands with excitement*
Elijah: Now you've done it, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: Flapping big ears
Beyond the count of years
I stump round and round,
Never lie on the ground,
Plastic Samwise: Not even to die.
Oliphaunt am I,
Biggest of all,
Huge, old, and tall.
Plastic Samwise: If ever you'd met me
You wouldn't forget me.
If you never do
You won't think I'm true;
But old Oliphaunt am I;
And I never lie.
Plastic Samwise: *I stop dancing and bow to all*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Very good, darling!
Sean: SAM! How wonderful!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: You sing so well!
Sean: *I poke Elijah and giggle*
Sean: Ok.. time for cake and icecream.
Elijah: Just like Bing Crosby.
Sean: We all have to sing!
Plastic Mr Frodo: We do!
Sean: *I laugh and hug Elijah tight.. *
Plastic Mr Frodo: You start, Mr. Astin.
Sean: Ok.. *I Light the candles on the cake*
Sean: Happy Birrrthday to YOUUUUUUU
Elijah: Happy birthday to you!
Sean: Happy Birrrthday to YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Plastic Mr Frodo: Happy birthday dearest Samwise!
Sean: Happy Birthday dear Samwiiiiise.
Sean: Haaaappy Birthday tooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sean: And many moooooore.
Elijah: Happy birthday to YOOOOooooOOOOooooooOOO!!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Many more!
Sean: OK... TIME TO PARTY!
Sean: Nice singing, babes
Sean: Sam.. blow out the candles!
Elijah: *I wink at you*
Plastic Samwise: Oh yes.. of course.. .. *I lean over the cake.. and take a deep breath... *
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I watch Sam happily*
Plastic Samwise: *... and BLOWWWWWW*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh my!
Plastic Samwise: There we go!
Sean: Yea!!!!!!
Elijah: Get back everyone!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Perfect!
Sean: *laughs* Elijah.. dish out the ice cream. *I hand you a scoop*
Sean: *I cut pieces of cake.. very small ones for our guests*
Sean: Potatoe cake with strawberry ice cream..
Elijah: *I take the scoop and maneuver it skillfully*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thank you!
Sean: *As I cut the cake.. I start to sing... winking in Elijah's direction.. *
Sean: You are my sweet potato
the one who looks so fine
growing in my garden.
I'll serve you up with wine.
Sean: You are my tasty morsel,
my one and only wish
is to have you lying,
lying on my dish.
Elijah: I like that one, Sean.
Sean: Boil you bake you fry you.
Serve you up steaming hot.
Boil you bake you fry you.
You are my potato tot! *I nuzzle Elijah*
Elijah: *I crack up*
Plastic Samwise: *giggles and eats cake.. * My, Mr. Astin's so funny
Elijah: You're too cute, Sean.
Sean: I can't stop dreaming about you,
how I love you so.
I can't stop dreaming about you,
my Hobbit from Hobbiton.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not sure if I'd like to see EW lying on a dish.
Sean: You are my foxy potato,
I love to dig your groove.
Habababadooba,
you make me want to move!
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
Elijah: Sean and Sam are both poets.
Sean: *I laugh and pick Elijah up and spin him around* Wheeeeee!! My hot potatoe!
Elijah: *I laugh and hold on for dear life*
Sean: *I kiss you and sit you down.. and start to eat my cake*
Sean: Some milk, Frodo? Sam?
Sean: Babes? Want milk?
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers to Sam* They have an odd way of seducing each other.
Elijah: Milk? Sure.
Plastic Samwise: That'd be great, Mr. Astin, sir. What a wonderful party you gave me. I'm very grateful to you.
Sean: *I pour milk all around*
Sean: It was EW too, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thank you Mr. Astin.
Plastic Samwise: *I smile at EW* Thank you, EW.
Elijah: Yeah. It was me agreeing to do this.
Sean: I hope you enjoyed yourself, Frodo. It's always such a treat to see you.
Plastic Mr Frodo: We thank you, EW. And yes, Mr. Astin. We enjoy visiting with you both.
Elijah: Oh and we LOVE seeing the two of you!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I smile at EW*
Plastic Samwise: *I whisper to Frodo* I don't think EW likes visiting with me.
Sean: We both love you both very much.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I whisper back* He does. He just has a strange way of showing it.
Plastic Samwise: Ah! Well.. ok.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers* He IS rather.. odd.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers* We Frodos have a few...eccentricities.
Sean: Is everyone full?
Sean: Anyone want more?
Plastic Mr Frodo: No more, thank you.
Plastic Samwise: Not me, Mr. Astin. I'm plumb full.
Elijah: None for me.
Plastic Mr Frodo: You go ahead, Mr. Astin.
Sean: Frodo? Baby.. you want more of anything?
Sean: Nope.. not me. I'm done.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Nothing.
Elijah: Nothing.
Elijah: Frodo, I'm baby, not you.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh. Yes, of course. Forgive me.
Plastic Samwise: *I hop off the small sofa* We should get goin' back to the basket, Mr. Astin. *I have a huge bag with all my gifts in it.. and I take Frodo's hand*
Sean: That's ok, Fro. You're awfully sweet too.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I clasp Sam's hand*
Sean: Sam.. thank you for coming. We hope you enjoyed your party.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thanks for everything!
Elijah: Bye you guys!
Sean: You're very welcome, my dear Frodo.
Sean: bye...
We had a very nice party except that EW sweared too much.
Sean: Hey!
Elijah: Hello?
Plastic Samwise: Hullo, everyone. Hey, EW.
Plastic Samwise: *snuggles Frodo close*
Sean: *I give my Elijah a quick kiss*
Sean: Here we are!
Sean: All together again!
Sean: And we're celebrating Sam's birthday!!
Sean: Yea!
Plastic Samwise: *blushes* Thank'ee Mr. Astin, sir.
Elijah: Oh, I'm Elijah. Ok.
Sean: It's ok, babes.. *I* know who you are.
Sean: *giggles*
Plastic Samwise: *nudges Frodo and whispers.. * He don't even know who he *is* anymore, Mr. Frodo? That's bad.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Hello, everyone! Sam and I celebrated his birthday already. But we don't mind celebrating it again.
*** Elijah has left the chat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Did EW leave?
Sean: He'll be right back, Fro.
Sean: There he is! Let me invite him.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Please invite him, yes.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I don't think EW knows how to chat.
*** Elijah has joined the chat.
Elijah: Guys?
Sean: He's back!
Plastic Samwise: Welcome back, EW.
Elijah: Um,.. this is Elijah.
Plastic Samwise: We know that, EW.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Am I Frodo?
Sean: Sam.. be nice now.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I AM!
Sean: You are Frodo!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh I'm so happy!
Plastic Samwise: Now don't YOU go startin', Mr. Frodo
Sean: *cracks up laughing*
Elijah: Ok. Now the big question: Can we see the photos?
Sean: This is hilarious
Elijah: Oh dear god. I think this will work!
Sean: Sam.. I'm sorry we couldn't do this on your birthday.. .but we have some nice things for you
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, you shouldn't swear.
Elijah: I'm not fucking swearing.
Plastic Samwise: Thank'ee, Mr. Astin. *frowns* Did he swear again?
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not sure, Sam. I think he did!
Sean: Now, now.. you know EW doesn't mean anything by it.
Sean: It's just his habit
Elijah: Just share the presents, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He LOVES sayin' them dirty words. Gets him all excited 'n' stuff, I think.
Sean: *giggles at Sam*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Maybe! Should I be swearing, Sam? Would that excite you?
Sean: He doesn't really swear that much, Sam.. honest
Elijah: No! Frodo should NOT swear.
Plastic Samwise: Please, sir. You excite me just fine with your nice, sweet Hobbity talk.
Elijah: Frodo isn't a swearing kind of guy.
Plastic Samwise: Don't be usin' EW's words. It'd be too... .too.... unhobbit-like.
Sean: Nope. Frodo isn't.
Plastic Mr Frodo: All right, Sam. If you enjoy my present speech, I'll hold to it.
Sean: Sam.. what do you want first. Words? Cake and ice cream? Or presents?
Plastic Samwise: Aren't we havin' words now, Mr. Astin?
Sean: I mean some special words that I have just for you!
Elijah: Someone's having words. I'm not sure who it is, though.
Elijah: Lay it on him, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: Ok, Mr. Astin.. maybe your nice words'll drown out EW's swear words.
Sean: *cracks up*
Elijah: I only said 'fuck' once. Don't accuse me of any bullshit, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* There's another one.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers back* I'm keeping score.
Elijah: Sean, are you going to show Sam a present?
Sean: Yes!
Sean: Words
Sean: I have some words for you Sam.. special words just for you.
Elijah: Well, get on with it. And no swear words. Sam doesn't like them.
Sean: Sorry, Lij.. I was too busy laughing my ass off. Ooops!
Plastic Samwise: Mr. ASTIN!
Sean: Sorry, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *eyes widen*
Sean: OK!! Here's the first words.
Sean: For a gardener who we all love...
Sean: This is the garden's magic,
That through the sunny hours
The gardener who tends it,
Himself outgrows his flowers.
Sean: He grows by gift of patience,
Since he who sows must know
That only in the Maker's time
Does any seedling grow.
Sean: He learns from buds unfolding,
From each tight leaf unfurled,
That his own heart, expanding,
Is one with all the world.
Plastic Samwise: Oh, Mr. Astin! *wipes away a tear*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Lovely! Isn't it lovely, Sam?
Sean: He bares his head to sunshine,
His bending back a sign Of grace,
and ev'ry shower becomes
His sacramental wine.
Elijah: Fuckin' lovely.
Sean: *snickers* Lijah!
Sean: And when at last his labors
Bring forth the very stuff
And substance of all beauty
This is reward enough.
Sean: This is a poem for gardeners. And you are the best, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: You are, Sam, darling.
Elijah: Sean and I have a gardener. A Japanese one.
Plastic Samwise: Thank you, kindly, sweet, nice NOT-swearing, Mr. Astin. I loved this poem.
Sean: We do??
Plastic Mr Frodo: You're very thoughtful, Mr. Astin.
Elijah: We do, Sean.
Sean: Thank you, Fro.. and you too, SAm.
Sean: Ok.. another short one.
Sean: Connection with gardens, even small ones, even potted plants, can become windows to the inner life. The simple act of stopping and looking at the beauty around us can be prayer.
Sean: You help us all look at the beauty around us, Sam. And we thank you for it.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh that's beautiful, Mr. Astin!
Sean: Now, Elijah.. *I kiss him before he can say... 'fuckin' thank you for it'
Elijah: *I'm about to snark but Sean kisses me instead*
Plastic Samwise: *sniffs* Thank you, Mr. Astin. That's so very sweet and kind.. and not a swear word in it! *winks at Frodo*
Sean: *I hurriedly kiss Elijah again* Mmmmmm!
Sean: Ok.. one more.
Elijah: One more kiss?
Sean: From the very best source of all on gardeners.....
Sean: In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped most to hold him firm; but also deep down in him lived still unconquered his plain hobbit-sense:
Plastic Mr Frodo: *listens attentively*
Sean: He knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden, even if such visions were not a mere cheat to betray him.
Sean: The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command.
Sean: Those are fine thoughts.. and fine words, Sam.. and all about YOU.
Plastic Mr Frodo: The love of his master. *sighs*
Plastic Samwise: *I hide my face behind Mr. Frodo's arm.. and wipe my eyes.. * So very beautiful, Mr. Astin.. Mr. Tolkien's own words.. about me.
Sean: *I glance at Elijah*
Plastic Mr Frodo: A simple garden. That's Sam all over.
Sean: It is.
Sean: OK!
Sean: Time for presents!.. yes?
Elijah: *I whistle a tune*
Plastic Samwise: Yes!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Presents!
Sean: *I take adventage of Elijah's pursed lips and kiss him yet again*
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* They do that a lot don't they?
Elijah: *I kiss Sean back*
Plastic Mr Frodo: They certainly do. It's rather interesting, don't you think, Sam?
Plastic Samwise: *I nuzzle Mr. Frodo's cheek and kiss him too.. not to be outdone by non-hobbit persons*
Plastic Samwise: We can do that. We kiss as good as they do.
Plastic Mr Frodo: We do. We can and do and I love you.
Sean: Awww.. isnt that sweet???
Sean: OK.. presents!
Sean: First off Sam.. this year is gardener year!
Plastic Mr Frodo: I sensed that theme, Mr. Astin.
Sean: ...And in that spirit.. we baked you a very special cake.
Elijah: Is it made of dirt?
Sean: A POTATOE CAKE!
Plastic Mr Frodo: What a wonderful idea!
Plastic Samwise: Oh my STARS! LOOK at it, Mr. Frodo!
Plastic Mr Frodo: It looks delicious!
Sean: *I nuzzle Elijah.. * What you think, babe?
Elijah: It does look good. Sean wouldn't let me have any when he made it, though.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Of course not, EW! It's for Sam!
Sean: That's right, Frodo. It's for Sam.
Sean: And what would be a birthday celebration without ICE CREAM!
Sean: Strawberry ice cream!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Strawberry!!
Sean: Yes!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh, Sam loves that!
Sean: I know how you love it.. so we got strawberry for you.
Elijah: So do I.
Plastic Samwise: MMMM.. *I stick my finger into the ice cream and snag a strawberry.. which I hold out to Frodo.. * Want it, my sweet Frodo?
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh yes, please!
Sean: Well, look at you, Sam.
Elijah: Sam's just the little server, isn't he.
Plastic Samwise: *I slowly feed the strawberry to my precious Frodo.. *
Plastic Samwise: *..and shoot a sour look EW's way.. *
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I lick the strawberry from Sam's fingers*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Mmmm...tasty!
Sean: Lij! Be sweet now, baby. You know how to be sweet. *I kiss your cheek.. *
Sean: OK, Sam.. next present.
Elijah: I'm not as sweet as that strawberry that Frodo just ate.
Sean: See if you know what it is!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Guessing games!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Is it for composting?
Plastic Samwise: Uhmmm.. A pan to hold the ice cream?
Sean: Frodo! It IS! That's just what it is!
Sean: It's a compost pail.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! I guessed!
Plastic Samwise: OH!! How wonderful! Thank you, Mr. Astin.
Elijah: Do we compost, Sean?
Sean: You can make a Middle-earth friendly garden that way.
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, don't you know what happens in your own kitchen?
Plastic Samwise: Care to make a donation, EW?
Plastic Samwise: *snickers*
Sean: *dies laughing*
Elijah: I know what happens in my kitchen. Sean cooks and I eat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Interesting. Sam and I have sort of the same arrangement.
Sean: We don't compost, baby.. we don't have a very big garden.. and our gardener handles it.
Elijah: Ok, thanks.
Sean: Yeah.. we Sams are like that. We cook.. and our Frodos eat.
Plastic Mr Frodo: And we love our Sams.
Plastic Samwise: This is grand, Mr. Astin. Thank you!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I kiss Sam's cheek*
Plastic Samwise: *blushes* Thank'ee, my love.
Sean: Awww.. that's so sweet.
Elijah: Adorable.
Sean: Ok.. on with the gifts!
Sean: To keep away Neeker Breekers!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Perfect!
Plastic Samwise: Oh, Mr. Astin! *I grab it and dance around waving it in the air* I hates those dratted little midge flies! This is grand. It'll kill um' dead! Thank you.
Plastic Samwise: *I look at EW* Do you have Neeker-Breekers in your garden, EW?
Elijah: Sean and I don't get many annoying flies. Only annoying fangirls.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He wishes!
Sean: *giggles* Next gift! Moving right along!
Sean: Your very own gardener's backpack!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! How pretty!
Sean: Filled with gardening tools!
Plastic Mr Frodo: And very functional.
Plastic Samwise: And it's green to boot! My most favoritest color! I love it!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I hug Sam*
Sean: Yep.. it's very functional
Plastic Samwise: *I snuggle my Frodo.. and sneak a kiss to his pretty lips*
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I brush back Sam's golden curls*
Sean: This is a book of nice words about gardening, Sam. You can read from it to Frodo on nice summer nights.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I would love to have Sam read to me!
Elijah: Yeah, Sean reads me books about gardening all the time.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Does he, EW?
Plastic Samwise: Ohhh Mr. Astin. * touch the book lovingly* Books are one of my most favorite things. I'm so blessed that dear Mr. Bilbo taught me my letters.
Elijah: No, I'm kidding.
Sean: *snickers * Oh, sure, Fro! I do!
Sean: Lijah!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Bilbo was kind to you, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: I love Mr. Bilbo.
Elijah: Sean shows me por--photos. That's what he does.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Photos? That must be nice, EW.
Plastic Samwise: *I stroke the book lovingly * A wonderous gift, Mr. Astin, wonderous indeed.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Books are always a nice gift. Thank you, Mr. Astin.
Sean: *bends over double laughing*
Sean: And I feed him chocolate, Frodo.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! You spoil EW, Mr. Astin.
Sean: We have chocolate and por... poetry readings.
Plastic Mr Frodo: How artistic!
Elijah: Yeah, artistic.
Sean: Oh, yeah.. he's easy to spoil.
Elijah: I am.
Sean: Oh yeah.. VERY artistic! *nudges Elijah*
Sean: OK.. ON with the gifts!
Sean: A framed picture of someone you know very well.
Plastic Samwise: Ohhhhhhhhh!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh!
Elijah: MEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Plastic Samwise: *I touch the picture gently.. * Ohhhhh that face..
Plastic Mr Frodo: Not you, EW! Me!
Plastic Samwise: Ohhhh those lips. That skin!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I smile sweetly*
Plastic Samwise: *glares at EW* You don't like nothin' like my beautiful Frodo. Look at that short hair of yours.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I love you, Sam.
Plastic Samwise: *I kiss my beloved* And I love you, my Frodo.
Elijah: I have a beard. Frodo doesn't.
Plastic Samwise: See?
Plastic Samwise: *whispers to Frodo* He don't look nothin' like you, me dear. Don't fret.
Sean: *cracks up*
Sean: Ohh god
Sean: I love these foursome nights.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not fretting, darling.
Sean: Just a couple more.
Elijah: Now that we figured out how to share the pictures.
Plastic Mr Frodo: EW, Mr. Astin figured it out. Not you.
Sean: This is your own private little greenhouse, Sam. Where you can start your plants before putting them in the ground.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Seedlings!
Plastic Samwise: Oh, stars and glory! Would you look at that!! A little house for seedlings to grow in! How sweet it is!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Sam will make good use of this greenhouse, I assure you!
Plastic Samwise: What a wonderous birthday this is!
Sean: And one last gift before we cut the cake, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Mr. Astin is spoiling YOU, Sam.
Sean: So that you can take care of your seedlings.. and be happy yourself at the same time......
Sean: An OLIPHAUNT watering can!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I wrinkle my perfectly-formed brow*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh! I wasn't sure at first!
Plastic Samwise: OHHH MY!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: That's funny!
Plastic Samwise: *I get up and start to dance around the room*
Plastic Samwise: Grey as a mouse,
Big as a house,
Nose like a snake,
I make the earth shake,
Plastic Samwise: As I tramp through the grass,
Trees crack as I pass.
With horns in my mouth,
I walk in the South,
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I clap my hands with excitement*
Elijah: Now you've done it, Sean.
Plastic Samwise: Flapping big ears
Beyond the count of years
I stump round and round,
Never lie on the ground,
Plastic Samwise: Not even to die.
Oliphaunt am I,
Biggest of all,
Huge, old, and tall.
Plastic Samwise: If ever you'd met me
You wouldn't forget me.
If you never do
You won't think I'm true;
But old Oliphaunt am I;
And I never lie.
Plastic Samwise: *I stop dancing and bow to all*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Very good, darling!
Sean: SAM! How wonderful!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: You sing so well!
Sean: *I poke Elijah and giggle*
Sean: Ok.. time for cake and icecream.
Elijah: Just like Bing Crosby.
Sean: We all have to sing!
Plastic Mr Frodo: We do!
Sean: *I laugh and hug Elijah tight.. *
Plastic Mr Frodo: You start, Mr. Astin.
Sean: Ok.. *I Light the candles on the cake*
Sean: Happy Birrrthday to YOUUUUUUU
Elijah: Happy birthday to you!
Sean: Happy Birrrthday to YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Plastic Mr Frodo: Happy birthday dearest Samwise!
Sean: Happy Birthday dear Samwiiiiise.
Sean: Haaaappy Birthday tooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sean: And many moooooore.
Elijah: Happy birthday to YOOOOooooOOOOooooooOOO!!!!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Many more!
Sean: OK... TIME TO PARTY!
Sean: Nice singing, babes
Sean: Sam.. blow out the candles!
Elijah: *I wink at you*
Plastic Samwise: Oh yes.. of course.. .. *I lean over the cake.. and take a deep breath... *
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I watch Sam happily*
Plastic Samwise: *... and BLOWWWWWW*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh my!
Plastic Samwise: There we go!
Sean: Yea!!!!!!
Elijah: Get back everyone!
Plastic Mr Frodo: Perfect!
Sean: *laughs* Elijah.. dish out the ice cream. *I hand you a scoop*
Sean: *I cut pieces of cake.. very small ones for our guests*
Sean: Potatoe cake with strawberry ice cream..
Elijah: *I take the scoop and maneuver it skillfully*
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thank you!
Sean: *As I cut the cake.. I start to sing... winking in Elijah's direction.. *
Sean: You are my sweet potato
the one who looks so fine
growing in my garden.
I'll serve you up with wine.
Sean: You are my tasty morsel,
my one and only wish
is to have you lying,
lying on my dish.
Elijah: I like that one, Sean.
Sean: Boil you bake you fry you.
Serve you up steaming hot.
Boil you bake you fry you.
You are my potato tot! *I nuzzle Elijah*
Elijah: *I crack up*
Plastic Samwise: *giggles and eats cake.. * My, Mr. Astin's so funny
Elijah: You're too cute, Sean.
Sean: I can't stop dreaming about you,
how I love you so.
I can't stop dreaming about you,
my Hobbit from Hobbiton.
Plastic Mr Frodo: I'm not sure if I'd like to see EW lying on a dish.
Sean: You are my foxy potato,
I love to dig your groove.
Habababadooba,
you make me want to move!
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
Elijah: Sean and Sam are both poets.
Sean: *I laugh and pick Elijah up and spin him around* Wheeeeee!! My hot potatoe!
Elijah: *I laugh and hold on for dear life*
Sean: *I kiss you and sit you down.. and start to eat my cake*
Sean: Some milk, Frodo? Sam?
Sean: Babes? Want milk?
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers to Sam* They have an odd way of seducing each other.
Elijah: Milk? Sure.
Plastic Samwise: That'd be great, Mr. Astin, sir. What a wonderful party you gave me. I'm very grateful to you.
Sean: *I pour milk all around*
Sean: It was EW too, Sam.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thank you Mr. Astin.
Plastic Samwise: *I smile at EW* Thank you, EW.
Elijah: Yeah. It was me agreeing to do this.
Sean: I hope you enjoyed yourself, Frodo. It's always such a treat to see you.
Plastic Mr Frodo: We thank you, EW. And yes, Mr. Astin. We enjoy visiting with you both.
Elijah: Oh and we LOVE seeing the two of you!
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I smile at EW*
Plastic Samwise: *I whisper to Frodo* I don't think EW likes visiting with me.
Sean: We both love you both very much.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I whisper back* He does. He just has a strange way of showing it.
Plastic Samwise: Ah! Well.. ok.
Plastic Samwise: *whispers* He IS rather.. odd.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *whispers* We Frodos have a few...eccentricities.
Sean: Is everyone full?
Sean: Anyone want more?
Plastic Mr Frodo: No more, thank you.
Plastic Samwise: Not me, Mr. Astin. I'm plumb full.
Elijah: None for me.
Plastic Mr Frodo: You go ahead, Mr. Astin.
Sean: Frodo? Baby.. you want more of anything?
Sean: Nope.. not me. I'm done.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Nothing.
Elijah: Nothing.
Elijah: Frodo, I'm baby, not you.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Oh. Yes, of course. Forgive me.
Plastic Samwise: *I hop off the small sofa* We should get goin' back to the basket, Mr. Astin. *I have a huge bag with all my gifts in it.. and I take Frodo's hand*
Sean: That's ok, Fro. You're awfully sweet too.
Plastic Mr Frodo: *I clasp Sam's hand*
Sean: Sam.. thank you for coming. We hope you enjoyed your party.
Plastic Mr Frodo: Thanks for everything!
Elijah: Bye you guys!
Sean: You're very welcome, my dear Frodo.
Sean: bye...