What the hell.
Just when I thought I was feeling better, I come to realize that I feel worse. And what sucks is that I don't even know why. I don't know where this depression came from. Perhaps it's because of my unavoidable paranoia again, but I'm not so sure about that.
I've been a lot more emotional lately...and my idleness probably contributes to that. I have nothing to do except surf the net for the entire day, and some household chores but fangirl over you-know-who/what. Since it's summer, and I'm not really worrying about anything except maybe the thought of whether or not I'll be able to get a decent job and when, when I'm going to be less lazy and seriously get my driver's license it can't be helped that I tend to think about a lot of things. This is what I hate about being stuck here at home, without anything productive to do...I tend to over-think things. I may be paranoid, but there is also a possibility that my worries are supposed to be taken seriously.
Sometimes I wonder...why is it that I only get to realize really significant things when everything else is done? For example, it was only after our retreat that I realized how unhappy I was, how low I felt, how there were still a lot of things I wanted to say but I didn't get to say them... "Nasa huli ang pagsisisi"...why does this have to haunt me all the time? *sigh*
I hope this depression or whatever is just part of PMS (I'm sure you girls can relate to that). And I do wish I'll feel better in the days to come.
P.S.: I honestly thought that telling a well-trusted friend of mine about what I felt/experienced during our stay in Caleruega last month would make me feel better. Apparently, I was wrong. But don't get me wrong, it's not her fault. I'm actually thankful that she understands me.:D
THIS is me right now...downtrodden. T_T
I've been a lot more emotional lately...and my idleness probably contributes to that. I have nothing to do except surf the net for the entire day, and some household chores but fangirl over you-know-who/what. Since it's summer, and I'm not really worrying about anything except maybe the thought of whether or not I'll be able to get a decent job and when, when I'm going to be less lazy and seriously get my driver's license it can't be helped that I tend to think about a lot of things. This is what I hate about being stuck here at home, without anything productive to do...I tend to over-think things. I may be paranoid, but there is also a possibility that my worries are supposed to be taken seriously.
Sometimes I wonder...why is it that I only get to realize really significant things when everything else is done? For example, it was only after our retreat that I realized how unhappy I was, how low I felt, how there were still a lot of things I wanted to say but I didn't get to say them... "Nasa huli ang pagsisisi"...why does this have to haunt me all the time? *sigh*
I hope this depression or whatever is just part of PMS (I'm sure you girls can relate to that). And I do wish I'll feel better in the days to come.
P.S.: I honestly thought that telling a well-trusted friend of mine about what I felt/experienced during our stay in Caleruega last month would make me feel better. Apparently, I was wrong. But don't get me wrong, it's not her fault. I'm actually thankful that she understands me.:D
THIS is me right now...downtrodden. T_T
