So my dad comes into my room, about fifteen minutes ago. He shuts the door behind him, very softly and casually, and asks me, "Are you smoking
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my mom asked me if i was sexually active and then if i was a virgin. and so i told her yes, and no. she had one more question which i wouldn't let her ask. i said she had used up her questions, but now i'm kinda curious as to what it was. but, we had company and i think those questions were fine enough for public display. remember those monster hickeys i had first semester? the five? yeah, it turns out she saw them, but just didn't say anything. maybe we'll get to the gay thing by the end of july.
My mother must NEVER know. Man, she'd be super pissed.
I've come so super close to being caught. One time Jean and I were sitting in her car smoking and my mother came up to the window and I had to drop it on the floor and put it out all stealthily in under one second.
Another time Jean asked me to light her cigarette, and I just took a really big puff all smoothly and my mom FREAKED and I was just like, "UH!!!! JUST LIGHTING JEANS!!!!"
once i was walking around my house with friends smoking, and all of a sudden i see my mom's sillouette in front of me....and it was night...i was sure she saw the giant flare of a drag and then the panicked toss of the stub....aaaaah. i was so scared for my life then. somehow she didn't notice, and was just pissed that my friends were smoking. eesh.
Oh yeah, i forgot: there has been many-a-time when my mom eyes me suspiciously and asks in the softandserious voice have i been smoking? the answer is always no. the smell? both you and emma smoke, make's sense. and the box in my purse? it's emmas. and it held tampons in it to boot. unless she sees me with a cigarette lit and in muh mouth, no truth will ever be uttered from my lips. ha.
Man, I was soooooo fucking scared when he asked me--I think me heart stopped for a few seconds. And in a split second, my mind was like "Lie--tell the truth--lie--tell the truth--lie--tell the truth--" and the truth just popped out, even as I was thinking, "Wait, what? Obviously lie!". I guess my subconscious recognized that he didn't look at all angry or anything. It was a pretty scary experience though.
And I don't think he's talked to my mom about it. I just have this feeling that she'd be more upset. I don't know why.
actually, once my dad was like "do you have your..." and he meant leatherman, and i said no, and he was like "i don't mean your cigarette lighter" all strange-like...i don't think he ever mentioned it to my mom....dad's are chill like that.
I hate when parents just pop a question like that on you. my mom asked me did i ever get wasted? My heart was beating so fast, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. I hope you get a job. h&m rather than urban outfitters. urban outfitters donates many to the GOP and anti-gay organizations. but just like jake, i want clothes! and have you got the second season of the west wing? because i just saw an episode with ainslie hayes and she is really sweet and cute. and man sam is hot when he is firing people.
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And you'll get clothes if you're nice to me :P
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I was like "only when steph/elise are around usually.."
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I've come so super close to being caught. One time Jean and I were sitting in her car smoking and my mother came up to the window and I had to drop it on the floor and put it out all stealthily in under one second.
Another time Jean asked me to light her cigarette, and I just took a really big puff all smoothly and my mom FREAKED and I was just like, "UH!!!! JUST LIGHTING JEANS!!!!"
And a million more. My mother's a dumbass, man.
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And I don't think he's talked to my mom about it. I just have this feeling that she'd be more upset. I don't know why.
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