david said today he guesses it wasn't our living arrangement that was wrong with us - which i knew it wasn't. he keeps saying i have nothing to be sad about and i know that. but i still am. and i think it's something that's wrong with me, something that's in my blood, that's "in my family." and it's so goddamn cliche because who the fuck isn't depressed nowadays. ugh. i am so mother fucking goddamn sick of not having my own goddamn life any more. REMEMBER HOW MUCH FUCKING FUN I USED TO BE?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!? i absolutely loathe who i've turned into. but i feel like it's just some extension of who i've always been. i wish i hadn't deleted my journal. i have an awful memory. it'd be nice to remember. facebook only gets you so far
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