For noteinabottle
Title: Cocoa and World Domination
Pairing: Joon/Cheondoong/Mir, hint!G.O./Seungho
Rating: G
Warnings: none except fail!crack may cause brain pain
Summary: Mir plots to take over the world but there is a flaw in his plan.
"You villain! What dastardly deeds are you planning? What horribly maleficent plots are you hatching
within your insidious mind? Tell me, damn you!"
"Well...at the moment I'm making some cocoa."
“Lies!”
Joon stirred the powdered cocoa and water inside the mug on the counter.
Mir stood with one accusatory finger pointed at Joon and a fading triumphant look on his face.
Cheondoong wandered in, looked at Mir's aloft finger, and glanced at Joon.
“What cha doing, Joon-ah?”
“Making some cocoa.”
“Lies!” Mir repeated.
Cheondoong slid a look at the younger man and walked to peer over Joon's shoulder. “Looks like
instant cocoa to me.”
“You villain!”
“I thought I was the villain.” Joon dropped the spoon in the sink and took a sip of cocoa.
“Perhaps you've been demoted.” Cheondoong considered the mug of cocoa and decided he preferred a
soda.
“You are co-villains!” Mir waved his finger imperiously.
“Is there such a thing?”
In a distracted voice, Cheondoong pointed out, “Yea, but it wouldn't last very long.”
“Ah. Sort of a 'any enemy of my enemy is my friend' thing?”
“Exactly, Joon-ah. But seeing as how villains seek world domination, they would ultimately revert to
being enemies and try to destroy each other.”
Contemplating his cocoa, Joon asked, “Does that mean we are destined to try to destroy each other?”
“YES!” Mir raised both fists in the air. “Then I will achieve world domination!”
Joon and Cheondoong looked at him. He flashed a smile. “You will destroy each other and I will rise
triumphant from the rubble. Then I, Mireu the Awesomest Awesome that Ever Lived, will be Grand
Great Emperor of the World.”
The other two watched him flounce out of the kitchen. Then they looked at each other. “I always
suspected being the youngest caused him to have self-esteem issues.” Cheondoong sat at the table.
Joon nodded. “We might want to mention it to Rain. Can't let such low confidence continue in our
sweet maknae.”
Seungho wandered in. “Mir is in the living room with papers spread all over the floor.”
“Really?” There was little interest in Joon's voice.
“Hmm. He was mumbling about victories and writing up The Ultimate Laws and Basic Rules of the
Grand Great Emperor Mireu.” Seungho dumped leftover kimchi into leftover rice and forked it up
cold.
“Ah. Preparing for when he takes over after Cheondoong and I destroy each other.”
Cheondoong chimed in with a “Couldn't you at least heat that up before you eat it?”
Chewing, Seungho nodded. “Makes sense. Gotta be prepared. I like cold rice and kimchi, Doong-ah.”
He wandered out without breaking rhythm of chopsticks to bowl, chopsticks to mouth, and back again.
“Mir does realize we won't destroy each other, right?” Cheondoong sipped his soda, watched
condensation drip down the side of the can.
Licking chocolate off his upper lip, Joon asked, “We won't?” When Cheondoong shook his head, Joon
shrugged. “A bit disappointing that. Anyway, I don't know. He is Mireu.”
“You're suppose to be the 4D one.”
“Nobody's perfect, Cheondoongie.”
“You're pretty damn close.”
“True. But even I fall short sometimes.”
“Never where it counts.” Cheondoong smirked.
“Glad it pleases you.”
They looked over as G.O. walked in. “Mir thinks he's going to rule the world. Or he's planning to
write a new online RPG. It wasn't quite clear.”
“Maybe he'll segue world domination into a career in video games.” Joon turned the idea over briefly.
“Could be profitable.”
“He doesn't actually think he's going to rule the world, does he?”
Cheondoong smiled at G.O. “It is possible that he does.”
“And how, pray tell, does he intend to do this?”
Briefly outlining Mir's plans to let co-villains Cheondoong and Joon destroy each other, Joon finished
off his cocoa and rose to put the mug in the sink.
G.O. snorted. “Even if you two did destroy it other, it wouldn't matter.”
“Thanks, bro.” Joon punched him in the arm.
“Sorry. It would, of course, matter to me but in terms of world domination, it wouldn't matter.”
“We know.”
“You got plans with Seungho today?” Cheondoong slouched over the table and tangled his fingers
with Joon.
“Yup. We'll be going out as soon as he finishes getting ready. And eating.” As he walked out the
door, he said, “One of you might want to explain to Mir why he will not achieve world domination by
letting you two destroy each other.”
“Aw, do we have to?” Joon pushed out his lower lip. “I like when he gets all puffed up. He's more
fun.”
G.O. poked his head back through the doorway. “It is safer for him, all things considered, yes?”
“Yea, you're right.” Joon grinned. “Cheondoongie will do it.”
“Hey!” The younger man yelped. Then glared as Joon laughed until he curled into a ball on the
kitchen floor. “You are a villain, Joon-ah but not for the reasons Mir thinks.”
“Yea, yea, yea. But you love me anyway. He does too. Even when he's plotting our destruction.”
“It's just because he's young, you know.”
“I know.” Joon bit the side of Cheondoong's neck and smiled at the growl it caused. “Let's go break
the news to him.”
Arms around each other's waist, they walked into the living room where Mir was indeed immersed in
his devious plots and plans to rule the world. Or, as G.O. suggested, create a new RPG game. Sitting
on either side of the maknae, they leaned against Mir who merely grunted. “All the sweet talk in the
world won't convince me to let either of you see my plans.”
Joon shot a look at Cheondoong and made the other man sigh to himself. “Mireu, love. You know we
love you, right? Villains though we are, Joon-ah and I adore the very ground you walk on. However
we don't want to see your plans because we already know they are doomed to fail.”
Mir glared at him. “How can they fail? You and Joon will destroy each other. I will step in. It will be
perfect.”
“Not exactly. See, even if we did destroy each other, it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't be able to rule
the world.”
Mir poked out his lower lip. “What do you mean it won't matter if you destroy each other? Why won't
I rule the world?”
“Simple.” Joon kissed Mir's lips while Cheondoong wrapped an arm around his waist. “Because Rain
rules the world.”
Pairing: Joon/Cheondoong/Mir, hint!G.O./Seungho
Rating: G
Warnings: none except fail!crack may cause brain pain
Summary: Mir plots to take over the world but there is a flaw in his plan.
"You villain! What dastardly deeds are you planning? What horribly maleficent plots are you hatching
within your insidious mind? Tell me, damn you!"
"Well...at the moment I'm making some cocoa."
“Lies!”
Joon stirred the powdered cocoa and water inside the mug on the counter.
Mir stood with one accusatory finger pointed at Joon and a fading triumphant look on his face.
Cheondoong wandered in, looked at Mir's aloft finger, and glanced at Joon.
“What cha doing, Joon-ah?”
“Making some cocoa.”
“Lies!” Mir repeated.
Cheondoong slid a look at the younger man and walked to peer over Joon's shoulder. “Looks like
instant cocoa to me.”
“You villain!”
“I thought I was the villain.” Joon dropped the spoon in the sink and took a sip of cocoa.
“Perhaps you've been demoted.” Cheondoong considered the mug of cocoa and decided he preferred a
soda.
“You are co-villains!” Mir waved his finger imperiously.
“Is there such a thing?”
In a distracted voice, Cheondoong pointed out, “Yea, but it wouldn't last very long.”
“Ah. Sort of a 'any enemy of my enemy is my friend' thing?”
“Exactly, Joon-ah. But seeing as how villains seek world domination, they would ultimately revert to
being enemies and try to destroy each other.”
Contemplating his cocoa, Joon asked, “Does that mean we are destined to try to destroy each other?”
“YES!” Mir raised both fists in the air. “Then I will achieve world domination!”
Joon and Cheondoong looked at him. He flashed a smile. “You will destroy each other and I will rise
triumphant from the rubble. Then I, Mireu the Awesomest Awesome that Ever Lived, will be Grand
Great Emperor of the World.”
The other two watched him flounce out of the kitchen. Then they looked at each other. “I always
suspected being the youngest caused him to have self-esteem issues.” Cheondoong sat at the table.
Joon nodded. “We might want to mention it to Rain. Can't let such low confidence continue in our
sweet maknae.”
Seungho wandered in. “Mir is in the living room with papers spread all over the floor.”
“Really?” There was little interest in Joon's voice.
“Hmm. He was mumbling about victories and writing up The Ultimate Laws and Basic Rules of the
Grand Great Emperor Mireu.” Seungho dumped leftover kimchi into leftover rice and forked it up
cold.
“Ah. Preparing for when he takes over after Cheondoong and I destroy each other.”
Cheondoong chimed in with a “Couldn't you at least heat that up before you eat it?”
Chewing, Seungho nodded. “Makes sense. Gotta be prepared. I like cold rice and kimchi, Doong-ah.”
He wandered out without breaking rhythm of chopsticks to bowl, chopsticks to mouth, and back again.
“Mir does realize we won't destroy each other, right?” Cheondoong sipped his soda, watched
condensation drip down the side of the can.
Licking chocolate off his upper lip, Joon asked, “We won't?” When Cheondoong shook his head, Joon
shrugged. “A bit disappointing that. Anyway, I don't know. He is Mireu.”
“You're suppose to be the 4D one.”
“Nobody's perfect, Cheondoongie.”
“You're pretty damn close.”
“True. But even I fall short sometimes.”
“Never where it counts.” Cheondoong smirked.
“Glad it pleases you.”
They looked over as G.O. walked in. “Mir thinks he's going to rule the world. Or he's planning to
write a new online RPG. It wasn't quite clear.”
“Maybe he'll segue world domination into a career in video games.” Joon turned the idea over briefly.
“Could be profitable.”
“He doesn't actually think he's going to rule the world, does he?”
Cheondoong smiled at G.O. “It is possible that he does.”
“And how, pray tell, does he intend to do this?”
Briefly outlining Mir's plans to let co-villains Cheondoong and Joon destroy each other, Joon finished
off his cocoa and rose to put the mug in the sink.
G.O. snorted. “Even if you two did destroy it other, it wouldn't matter.”
“Thanks, bro.” Joon punched him in the arm.
“Sorry. It would, of course, matter to me but in terms of world domination, it wouldn't matter.”
“We know.”
“You got plans with Seungho today?” Cheondoong slouched over the table and tangled his fingers
with Joon.
“Yup. We'll be going out as soon as he finishes getting ready. And eating.” As he walked out the
door, he said, “One of you might want to explain to Mir why he will not achieve world domination by
letting you two destroy each other.”
“Aw, do we have to?” Joon pushed out his lower lip. “I like when he gets all puffed up. He's more
fun.”
G.O. poked his head back through the doorway. “It is safer for him, all things considered, yes?”
“Yea, you're right.” Joon grinned. “Cheondoongie will do it.”
“Hey!” The younger man yelped. Then glared as Joon laughed until he curled into a ball on the
kitchen floor. “You are a villain, Joon-ah but not for the reasons Mir thinks.”
“Yea, yea, yea. But you love me anyway. He does too. Even when he's plotting our destruction.”
“It's just because he's young, you know.”
“I know.” Joon bit the side of Cheondoong's neck and smiled at the growl it caused. “Let's go break
the news to him.”
Arms around each other's waist, they walked into the living room where Mir was indeed immersed in
his devious plots and plans to rule the world. Or, as G.O. suggested, create a new RPG game. Sitting
on either side of the maknae, they leaned against Mir who merely grunted. “All the sweet talk in the
world won't convince me to let either of you see my plans.”
Joon shot a look at Cheondoong and made the other man sigh to himself. “Mireu, love. You know we
love you, right? Villains though we are, Joon-ah and I adore the very ground you walk on. However
we don't want to see your plans because we already know they are doomed to fail.”
Mir glared at him. “How can they fail? You and Joon will destroy each other. I will step in. It will be
perfect.”
“Not exactly. See, even if we did destroy each other, it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't be able to rule
the world.”
Mir poked out his lower lip. “What do you mean it won't matter if you destroy each other? Why won't
I rule the world?”
“Simple.” Joon kissed Mir's lips while Cheondoong wrapped an arm around his waist. “Because Rain
rules the world.”