Best paperwork EVER
Who needs Quotes when you have awesomeness like this? I swear on any authority that it is real. It also did not ask "Have you ever died," but it DID ask if I had ever had several diseases from which it is uncommon (to say the least) to recover.
EDIT: Target has come to Titusville, bearing with it that most insidious and pervasive yet sublimely sweet and caffeinated, and altogether irresistible, institution known as STARBUCKS. I could DIE.