Spoonful of Sugar
So the other night I was having a nice little run through Veteran's Park shortly after dusk-in dark clothes, no less-it's a little bit of dangerous-living I enjoy doing from time-to-time. It was during the Green Bay Packers' opening game, so the downtown area was all ghost-like and empty, as the suburbanites had already scurried home. I've already written of my nighttime-jogging encounters with drunk bums, (o)possums (which aren't nearly as adorable as children's books would have you believe), oddly complimentary old men on bicycles (no, sir, my running is not that impressive), urban foxes, coffee-shop opera, and neighbors who unnecessarily drive into my apartment building in an attempt to-again, unnecessarily-dodge me.
Thinking back, I may not have written about all of those, but I definitely intended to, so I'll humbly ask you to, at the very least, spare me a capital e for effort. In any case, I have a new adventure to add to the list: As I mentioned earlier, it was dark and somewhat deserted. It was also precipitating that not-quite-rain/not-quite-fog type of precipitation that follows a wash-out sort of day. I would describe everything as being very moist, but, alas, some of you are, let's face it, a bit pervy, and I won't having you thinking of genitalia while I'm talking about my run. In fact, and this will take my story a bit off course, there'll be no genitalia until we all get together and send Sarah Palin back to her, as my Aunt once described a rather rough Wisconsin winter, fucking Alaskan whatever. As I was saying: dark, rainy, alone-my house-keys fell out of the ridiculously shallow pockets of my shorts. I heard the noise-at least I thought I did-but I wrapped my keys in paper before leaving (I figured, rather stupidly, the extra mass would make them less likely to fall out) so there was no obvious noise of keys meeting pavement. As I get to this point in the story, I realize the build-up is much more interesting than the event itself. To make a long story short ("too late"), I wandered up and down the route pictured below a few times, pacing back and forth, trying to look as non-crazy as possible to the passers-by, who suddenly came from out from all directions, despite the earlier desertedness.
The happy ending: I found them! Located in a puddle, in the exact spot I first noticed them missing, after twenty minutes of frenzied searching and sorting through wet leaves and little bits of paper. Wet feet and all, I caught a bit of a cold, but being the trooper I am, I'm about to head out again in hopes of more fun (and health!). Wish me luck! Sanjit gave me a safety-pin to attach the keys more firmly to my shorts. Isn't he the greatest?
A: Yes.
Ctrl+Enter to post
Ctrl+Enter to post
P.S. to locals: Please don't stalk me.
Ctrl+Enter to post
Thinking back, I may not have written about all of those, but I definitely intended to, so I'll humbly ask you to, at the very least, spare me a capital e for effort. In any case, I have a new adventure to add to the list: As I mentioned earlier, it was dark and somewhat deserted. It was also precipitating that not-quite-rain/not-quite-fog type of precipitation that follows a wash-out sort of day. I would describe everything as being very moist, but, alas, some of you are, let's face it, a bit pervy, and I won't having you thinking of genitalia while I'm talking about my run. In fact, and this will take my story a bit off course, there'll be no genitalia until we all get together and send Sarah Palin back to her, as my Aunt once described a rather rough Wisconsin winter, fucking Alaskan whatever. As I was saying: dark, rainy, alone-my house-keys fell out of the ridiculously shallow pockets of my shorts. I heard the noise-at least I thought I did-but I wrapped my keys in paper before leaving (I figured, rather stupidly, the extra mass would make them less likely to fall out) so there was no obvious noise of keys meeting pavement. As I get to this point in the story, I realize the build-up is much more interesting than the event itself. To make a long story short ("too late"), I wandered up and down the route pictured below a few times, pacing back and forth, trying to look as non-crazy as possible to the passers-by, who suddenly came from out from all directions, despite the earlier desertedness.
The happy ending: I found them! Located in a puddle, in the exact spot I first noticed them missing, after twenty minutes of frenzied searching and sorting through wet leaves and little bits of paper. Wet feet and all, I caught a bit of a cold, but being the trooper I am, I'm about to head out again in hopes of more fun (and health!). Wish me luck! Sanjit gave me a safety-pin to attach the keys more firmly to my shorts. Isn't he the greatest?
A: Yes.
Ctrl+Enter to post
Ctrl+Enter to post
P.S. to locals: Please don't stalk me.
Ctrl+Enter to post