'Tell Me if This is Weird,' or, 'Tell Me if I Am Gay'

[mccullen]

so on mondays i go to this newish bar in town, because a couple of my friends play records that night and although it is ostensibly a "wine bar" (in a town of 110,000 people but whatever) they serve top-shelf martinis for $5. so why is it that every time i request a drink, and always from the same bartender, i get some disgusting variant of what i

Comments

[muttcatt]

not trying to be contrary here, but even the driest martini is traditionally served with an olive, just no juice. A Dickens martini is one with no garnish whatsoever.

[muttcatt]

but if it is on the rocks i don't think you can call it that. I think you just want a glass of gin with ice don't you? you are going to be mad at me for writing all this but i am bored at the library. . .

[anonymous]

A martini by definition is gin + vermouth served with an olive, period. any variation on that, even substituting vodka for gin, is NOT A MARTINI. my opinion is, you shouldn't even have to ask for gin.

one time a guy asked the other waiter i was working with that night for a martini, "shaken, not stirred," and he replied that he would put that request through to the Redundancy Department.

love,
kate

[the_boroughs]

my grandparents used to drink dry martinis at home. just one, at 5, with mixed nuts. it seemed very civilized. however, later in life, as they used less and less vermouth and made it drier and drier, they just started making each other pg's. that stands for pure gin. it sounds like you should perhaps ask for pure gin on the rocks with a dash of dry vermouth.

[hlsh]

hello. it's me, steve. i am rereading your blog.

STILL LOL.