lunch: 1 rice cake
dinner: 9 french fries (cold)
dessert: 3 double G & T's, one 10 oz. IPA, one 40 oz. malt liquor.

last night at a party i ran into an old friend. we hadn't seen each other in a while so i was not wholly surprised when she told me that she was in the process of going through a messy divorce. several bottles of wine later she implored me to come up with possible ways to explain to her young child why her parents wouldn't be together anymore (and ( Read more... )

i saw a hawk today ( Read more... )

my favorite part of Rick Santorum's (R.-PA) concession speech has got to be his brokedown-harry-potter-looking son's shameless sobbing in the background. i like it best when his kid's shuddering shoulders muss the american flag and some GOP BigHair comes up to comfort the child; as if to say, "it isn't your fault that you dishonored the flag with ( Read more... )

there are so many things i would like to say about this ( Read more... )

this is getting ridiculous. my upstairs neighbors are always sexing. they woke me up this morning at ten, they were at it again by 1:30 and they're sexing again right now. i'm trying to listen to a bbc radio 4 documentary about miscarriage and the ceiling is squeaking so much i can barely hear these bitches crying. goddamnit! enough pussy for today ( Read more... )

my cab driver from last night just called my cell-phone and since i didn't recognize the number, i ignored the call. after all, i had 'project runway' season finales to catch up on. fortunately, my spidey-sense was (apparently) still in full effect; considering that his message indicated [in no uncertain terms] that he was hoping that i was "still ( Read more... )

is it because i watched six hours of Flip That House! today?

or is it because i am drinking a weird bottle of spanish wine?

i don't know, but this 'World of Warcraft' episode of South Park is awesome.

AWESOME.

i drank some gin and tonics last night with the dude from Everclear.

yeah, that blonde dude.

he is real old.

last night was so awesome. it was like the quintessential example of what happens when the midwest redefines what is awesome and then totally does it.

i took a cab to the bar, shared some pitchers with muttcatt, mariah, wheeler, jingles et al.; drank someone's leftover gin and tonic (you know what? fuck it.); watched the avatars jack it hardcore ( Read more... )