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just read a few entries back. i'm not that weirded out/depressed as the last 10 entries would have you believe. i'm actually living a lot happier and healthier these days. a family friend with whom i'll be living in Boston a few months from now is coming down to discuss plans. AKA MY LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE SOON and i can't bear the excitement. -
as it does today,
my core hurts once in a while. it's not a physical pain, and although it's in my brain i can feel it in my abdomen. it doesn't hurt, but it feels like it's folding in on itself so intensely that it can only be compared to pain. when i think about getting up and going out or connecting with someone today it intensifies. i won't feel this way in a ( Read more... ) -
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i'm sayin this because i'm listening to a 31 year old and a 57 year old (whom i both love dearly) talk about their boyfriends being complete fucks.
makes me wanna smoke as many dudes who deserve it as possible
just sayin -
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What does it mean to want to skip the natural process of finding a mate and expand my consciousness instead? To make myself a better person? Why does my own mind drive me farther than anyone of the opposite (or same) sex? Why do I feel like a transcended entity, able to see past the biological nature of something that most people see as a defining ( Read more... ) -
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i feel like my seams are bursting with ideas but howwwwwww can i project them? -
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i very much feel like true love shouldn't be focused into one entity. i don't think i have a perfect match. i think it might just be everyone. -
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the only things in this world i want to be tethered to are my friends and my family and my music -
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I used to know when I said fucked up shit ( Read more... ) -
ambiguity
why is my life a self-fulfilling prophecy? is it because i willed it? anyway, i fucked up, and i can't bring myself to right it, because who knows if i deserve to? things can't be on my terms anymore. so selfish. maybe things will work themselves out, if the prophecy thing works. i've never felt so confused about anything in my life.