"I am definitely, definitely Runt Valruuuuuunt!"
HERE IT IS: the exciting Simnimaniacs update I promised the other day. For those of you who weren't quite as obsessed as me with Rita & Runt when you were children, here's their rendition of Les Miserables, which this post draws heavily from.
I stuck Inspector Camembert in the town of Warner Brothers Studios, to give Rita and Runt a nemesis. You know how Ralph is like a fake cop who wears scrubs?
This guy's a real cop.
I sent him over to Rita and Runt's house to see what would happen. At first, Rita and Runt were inside, doing their thing, not noticing Camembert:
Rita obviously thinks Pluto is still a planet. Runt has strong feelings about the moon.
Then Rita had to go sing in the park or something, leaving Runt alone for a destined confrontation with Camembert:
Like an asshole, Camembert decided to knock over their trash can. And, like a man, Runt ran away.
And then the magic happened: Runt came back, and he and Camembert got in a fight, and it was an awful lot like The Confrontation from Les Miserables. Clearly, destiny truly was at work this day in the town of Warner Brothers Studios:
Valjean, at last, we see each other plain. Monsieur le Mayor, you'll wear a different chain.
Before you say another word, Javert, before you chain me up like a slave again, listen to me! There is something I must do! This woman leaves behind a suffering child:
[cough cough dying. Rita wasn't actually there during the fight, but whatever, she's the only available Fantine.]
There is none but me who can intercede! In mercy's name, three days are all I need. Then I'll return, I pledge my word. Then I'll return!
You must think me mad! I've hunted you across the years. Men like you can never change. A man such as you.
Believe of me what you will! There is a duty I am sworn to do! You know nothing of my life. All I did was steal some bread! You know nothing of the world, you would sooner see me dead. But not before I see this justice done!
Men like me can never change. Men like you can never change. No, 24601. My duty's to the law! You have no rights! Come with me 24601! Now the wheel has turned around, Jean Valjean is nothing now!
I am warning you Javert! I'm the stronger man by far! There is power in me yet, my race is not yet run! I am warning you Javert, there is nothing I won't dare! If I have to kill you here, I'll do what must be done!
Dare you talk to me of crime, and the price you had to pay? Every man is born in sin, every man must choose his way. You know nothing of Javert! I was born inside a jail! I was born with scum like you, I am from the gutter too!
And this I swear to you tonight: your child will live within my care. And I will raise her to the light.
There is no place for you to hide. Wherever you may hide away...
I swear to you, I will be there!
Then Camembert went outside and knocked over the trash can again.
Finally, Rita came home and tried to cheer Runt up. Camembert was still hanging out in the yard, knocking over the trash can. Then, totally uninvited, he wandered inside and stormed the bathroom. What a jerk.
I stuck Inspector Camembert in the town of Warner Brothers Studios, to give Rita and Runt a nemesis. You know how Ralph is like a fake cop who wears scrubs?
This guy's a real cop.
I sent him over to Rita and Runt's house to see what would happen. At first, Rita and Runt were inside, doing their thing, not noticing Camembert:
Rita obviously thinks Pluto is still a planet. Runt has strong feelings about the moon.
Then Rita had to go sing in the park or something, leaving Runt alone for a destined confrontation with Camembert:
Like an asshole, Camembert decided to knock over their trash can. And, like a man, Runt ran away.
And then the magic happened: Runt came back, and he and Camembert got in a fight, and it was an awful lot like The Confrontation from Les Miserables. Clearly, destiny truly was at work this day in the town of Warner Brothers Studios:
Valjean, at last, we see each other plain. Monsieur le Mayor, you'll wear a different chain.
Before you say another word, Javert, before you chain me up like a slave again, listen to me! There is something I must do! This woman leaves behind a suffering child:
[cough cough dying. Rita wasn't actually there during the fight, but whatever, she's the only available Fantine.]
There is none but me who can intercede! In mercy's name, three days are all I need. Then I'll return, I pledge my word. Then I'll return!
You must think me mad! I've hunted you across the years. Men like you can never change. A man such as you.
Believe of me what you will! There is a duty I am sworn to do! You know nothing of my life. All I did was steal some bread! You know nothing of the world, you would sooner see me dead. But not before I see this justice done!
Men like me can never change. Men like you can never change. No, 24601. My duty's to the law! You have no rights! Come with me 24601! Now the wheel has turned around, Jean Valjean is nothing now!
I am warning you Javert! I'm the stronger man by far! There is power in me yet, my race is not yet run! I am warning you Javert, there is nothing I won't dare! If I have to kill you here, I'll do what must be done!
Dare you talk to me of crime, and the price you had to pay? Every man is born in sin, every man must choose his way. You know nothing of Javert! I was born inside a jail! I was born with scum like you, I am from the gutter too!
And this I swear to you tonight: your child will live within my care. And I will raise her to the light.
There is no place for you to hide. Wherever you may hide away...
I swear to you, I will be there!
Then Camembert went outside and knocked over the trash can again.
Finally, Rita came home and tried to cheer Runt up. Camembert was still hanging out in the yard, knocking over the trash can. Then, totally uninvited, he wandered inside and stormed the bathroom. What a jerk.