On The Fringe Of Lunacy

[roadkill_x]

Title: On The Fringe Of Lunacy
Author: roadkill_x
Pairing: Gerard/Bert
Rating: R
POV: Bert's
Summary: "Take All Of Me"
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people mentioned in this story. I did not write Lunacy Fringe.
Author Notes: For those of you who have never been to Brisbane here is the so called 'Suncorp clock' mentioned in this story.
Warnings

Comments

[crossbow1]

Quinn's characterization is really good, which I only know because I just watched Berth for the first time on Friday. :D (Obviously, it's hard to tell what Bert would be like sober since no one has ever seen such a thing.)

It flows really well, but I think it could do with less description. I guess some people like it, but I'm of the school of thought that you shouldn't describe anything that's not important to the story. For example: ...I perched myself atop the small metal and glass table with my knees pulled up to my chest and stared out at that city... Why do we need to know what the table is made of or how he is sitting? It would make sense if you were about to begin a fight scene where he was gonna get thrown through the table.

I only read the first chapter, because it's kind of hard on the eyes. When writing on line, it's conventional to put a space between each paragraph because it's easier to read.

[roadkill_x]

Thank you XD

Haha. Yeah, that's an unfortunate habbit of mine. I get distracted by little insignificant things.

Yeah. Everyone on Mibba.com told me I should put spaces and stuff. I just never know where exactly to put them. I fixed it all on Mibba but it's probably not right.

[crossbow1]

Just every time you use a carriage return (enter) hit it twice and you should be fine.