TEAM WAR: Feet of Clay, "Sticks and Stones (May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me)"
Title: Sticks and Stones (May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me)
Author: emeraldsword ( interview)
Team: War
Prompt: Feet of Clay
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: Suitable for All
Warnings: None
Summary: "Are we going to crawl in there, assuming I can even fit through that gap, to get our faces chewed off by rodents with space-rabies?" - Set just after 'The Shrine'.
Personal notes: many, many thanks go to gumbie_cat and lycoris for beta, general cheerleading and very helpful feedback. Thanks, you two!
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
Rodney managed to hit his head on the floor when they threw him into the cell. Not hard, just a sharp knock that made his head ring and his eyes stream. The cell door slammed behind them and Rodney twisted himself into a sitting position and stared around.
Ronon, Teyla and John were sprawled out over the cell floor in various stages of consciousness. Teyla was already beginning to get up, but John and Ronon seemed to be out cold. Rodney crawled over to take Ronon's pulse; finding that he had one, Rodney moved over to Sheppard. John was flat on his back, limbs askew, eyes closed and face already purpling with what were clearly going to be some really impressive bruises. Rodney grabbed for John's left wrist, feeling intently for a pulse. For an awful moment he couldn't find one, but then he felt John's arm twitch and looked up to see that John's eyes were open and he was staring at Rodney, looking confused.
"Oh, thank God you're alive," Rodney said. He realised that he was almost holding John's hand and released it quickly with a quick pat. John lowered his head gently back to the floor, wincing.
"We are trapped," Teyla informed them from the door. "The door and windows appear to be quite secure."
Ronon groaned, sitting up and beginning to check himself for injuries.
"Any air vents?" asked Rodney.
"None big enough to accommodate us," Teyla said.
"They took all my weapons," Ronon reported.
"What, all of them?" John said.
"They were thorough," said Ronon.
Teyla sighed and sat down on the cell floor, but Ronon was on his feet and pacing.
"Why does this keep happening to us?" Rodney asked. "You would think that a planet where the gate is surrounded by 400-foot trees which make farming difficult would be grateful to receive people trying to trade root vegetables. "
"Being locked up had nothing to do with the vegetables, McKay," Ronon said.
"Well, with our luck, next time the vegetables will probably be a key factor!" Rodney said, darting a quick look at John, who was smirking slightly. "Perhaps we should try trading something a little less phallic…" he mused. John smiled outright, then winced.
"Did they say anything else after we were out?" he asked Rodney.
"Hey, I was manhandled too, you know!"
Ronon frowned at him, and Rodney looked slightly sheepish.
"Only what you heard, blah blah welcome, blah blah, dangerous times blah blah you have been consorting with our most hated enemies blah. After the most hated enemies showed up, very little. We'll probably be here for the duration of their civil war, and that's assuming our side wins."
"Oh great," said John. He'd heaved himself into a sitting position and was looking a bit green. Rodney prudently moved back slightly.
"Seriously," said John. "If they didn't want to trade with us, they could have just sent us home."
"I suggested that!" Rodney said, watching John anxiously as John moved so he could lean against the wall. "It, er, didn't go so well." He gestured around the cell, and Ronon rolled his eyes.
"How long is this going to take?" Ronon asked. No one bothered to answer him.
"If there is a guard, we may be able to negotiate our release in exchange for medical supplies," Teyla said.
"Worth a try," agreed John and Teyla moved over to the door.
"You OK?" Rodney asked. John's eyes were closed again but he opened them to give Rodney a weaker version of the 'don't be an idiot' glare he seemed to save especially for Rodney.
"Well, you're obviously not OK but are you likely to die as we speak? Do you have internal bleeding or is the only damage helpfully displayed on your face?"
"Got a couple of cracked ribs, maybe," John said. "Not sure. Nothing serious."
"Oh God," said Rodney, but John glared at him again so he wisely shut up.
"There are no guards," Teyla said.
Ronon snarled and began pacing again.
"So, we overpower them when they come to give us food?" Rodney said.
Teyla sighed but nodded, and they settled down to wait.
~
Patience is a virtue very rarely attributed to Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex, for very good reasons. After three hours in the cell, both of them were pacing in different directions, and Rodney was muttering to himself.
"Will you sit down?" Teyla said, the edge in her voice making it clear that if they did not she would make them.
"There must be some way out!" Ronon said, as he'd been saying roughly every half-hour.
"It is a cell like all the others we have ever been in," Teyla said. "You would do better to conserve your energy for when it is needed. Your pacing is disturbing John."
"And he shouldn't be sleeping with that head wound!" Rodney said, sitting down heavily next to John and kicking him on the ankle.
"Still not sleeping," John said, although he sounded drowsy. "And would you quit kicking me? We're going to be leaving here on foot, remember?"
"Oh please, I didn't kick you very hard," Rodney said. He would have said more, but glares from both John and Teyla made him decide not to pursue the matter any further.
~~
They'd been in the cell five hours when the door swung open. All four leapt to their feet and Ronon and Teyla charged through the door, only to stop in the hallway.
"There is no one here," Teyla said.
A quick examination of the door lock showed that it had been on some sort of time release.
"You couldn't have figured that out before?" John said.
"Well, how was I supposed to know? It looked just the same as all other locks from the inside!"
"We must find our weapons and leave," Teyla said.
"This way," said Ronon, and set off down the corridor in a loping run.
They didn't find any guards, but they didn't find their weapons either. It wasn't until they stepped out of the building and into a courtyard strewn with bodies that they saw any sign that the place had ever been inhabited.
"Oh, Jesus," Rodney said. Ronon had gone to the nearest body and was calmly removed the ammunition from the pouch at the waist. John gave him a look, and he and Teyla followed Ronon's example.
"No," Rodney said, when John tried to hand him a small handgun. "Please," he added, but he could hear the pleading edge in his voice and knew he was going to lose this battle.
"We just need to get to the gate, Rodney," John said. "We don't want to run into whoever killed these guys, especially not without weapons."
Rodney swallowed, but took the gun.
The shooting started when they were about halfway to the gate. There was an upsettingly lengthy period of total confusion, and then Rodney and John were alone in the middle of a forest. On the up side, it sounded as though they'd managed to shake off the pursuit, but on the down side they'd also lost Teyla and Ronon.
"I have no idea where we are," Rodney announced. John looked at him, took three paces sideways and started throwing up. Rodney was never quite sure what the etiquette on things like this was, so he tactfully looked the other way and pretended not to notice. John coughed and spat and pulled himself upright again.
"So, uh, I think the gate is east," Rodney said. "Of course, without a compass that doesn't help us."
"We need to rest," John said, moving away from the vomit and sitting down with his back against one of the scarily huge trees. "Do you have any food left?"
"Couple of power bars, maybe," Rodney said, sitting down next to him and checking his pockets. "Definitely," he amended, "and some of those nut-things from MX2-496."
John nodded. "It's going to be dark soon."
"We've got to find the gate in the dark? We'll be wandering around for days!"
"I agree," John said. "That's why we're going to find some place to camp."
"No tents, no sleeping bag, basically no food and he wants to camp." Rodney used his best long-suffering voice and was rewarded by John's eye roll.
"I think I saw a hollow tree back that way," John said, gesturing vaguely in the direction they'd come.
"A what? John, you can't be serious," and John gave him the look he'd been giving Rodney more often lately, the one that Rodney couldn't interpret.
"If you'd been listening during the briefing instead of daydreaming about your Nobel, you'd remember that one of the delights of this charming Pegasus vacation spot is the large nocturnal predators. So, I'm thinking that sleeping under the stars is a bad plan, and as we've neglected to bring the tents on this trip, I'm thinking a hollow tree is our best bet. Obviously, if you have other suggestions then I'm more than happy to hear them."
"I always wanted a tree house," Rodney said, getting to his feet resignedly and follow John back in the direction they'd come. "First my parents wouldn't let me because I was too young, then it was because Jeannie was too young and after that I realised it was a losing battle."
"I had a tree house," John said. "It had a step ladder to get into it." He stopped in front of a tree with a smallish hole at ground level. "Check it out,"
"What makes these? Something with a lot of teeth? More importantly, is it still living there? Are we going to crawl in there, assuming I can even fit through that gap, to get our faces chewed off by rodents with space-rabies?"
"Only one way to find out," said John.
"Oh God,"
"We poke it with a stick," John said.
Rodney stared at him, mouth opening and closing, and John burst out laughing.
"Oh, for…we're going to die," Rodney announced loudly, but he was smiling. "Our corpses will be eaten by rats, enraged by the fact that we poked them with sticks. Sticks!"
John managed to stop laughing. "It's either that or we crawl right in there," John said. He picked up a largish branch and prodded it cautiously into the hole. When it didn't hit anything, he got down on hands and knees and prepared to crawl inside.
"Oh, let me," Rodney said. "We both know you'll be totally useless if you find a bug in there. Besides, I don't think your face can take any more abuse today."
John rolled his eyes and sat back on his haunches, watching in disbelief as Rodney unclipped a tiny flashlight from his belt.
"You didn't think to mention that before?"
"It's supposed to be a key ring, I forgot I had it!" Rodney shone the light into the hole. "Well, it just about might be big enough," he said doubtfully. "Hollow trees are creepy, don't you think?" he said conversationally when the little beam of light failed to show anything more useful. "Nothing should be able to live without its heart." He clamped the flashlight between his teeth and crawled in.
"It's fine," he called after what seemed to John to be an unnecessarily long pause. "Going to be very cramped, damp and unpleasant, but I'm sure that if I think about it long enough I'll be able to think of worse places I've spent the night. Really, this is so small, I'm not even sure it counts as a hollow tree."
John sighed and crawled in after him, almost bumping into Rodney who'd decided to crawl back out.
"Why are you coming in?"
"To see if there's room enough for us both while it's still light enough for us to find somewhere else?"
"Fine," Rodney said, shuffling towards the back of the tree. "This is going to ruin my back, you know. It wouldn't surprise me if I was permanently crippled, and what it'll do to your ribs, I shudder to think."
"Why Rodney, I didn't know you cared," he said lightly, ignoring the treacherous little flutter under said ribs.
"Of course I care!" snapped Rodney irritably. There was a pause. "After all, who else is going to find me hollow trees to sleep in when we're being hunted by both natives and giant predators?"
"That's the spirit," John said. He didn't smile, because smiling hurt his face, but he allowed himself a moment of affection before saying "Come on, let's get back outside. We need to use the rest of the daylight to eat and make ourselves comfortable - we don't want to be wandering about after dark."
~
There really wasn't much room inside the tree. It wasn't completely hollow but there was just room enough for the two of them to sit upright if they sat next to each other but facing in opposite directions. Rodney had complained about having to sit next to John's feet but then, typical Rodney, managed to fall asleep straight away. He also snored. After half an hour, John nudged him.
"Uh?" Rodney sounded groggy and confused, and John almost felt guilty for a moment.
"Your snoring is keeping me awake," John said. His head hurt, his ribs hurt and he was damned if he was going to sit here quietly for eight hours and listen to Rodney snore.
"Go to sleep then," said Rodney grumpily. "The head wound probably counts as old now, and you kept your dinner down, I'm sure you'll be fine."
John sighed. "Talk to me," he said.
Rodney didn't say anything for a while, which John spent trying to decide whether to prompt him again or whether to just shut up.
"Are we OK?" Rodney said.
"What?"
"I mean, maybe I didn't thank you properly for your help with the parasite, but you were kind," Rodney said.
"What are friends for?" John asked.
"But since then, things have been…" Rodney trailed off. "Don't you feel it?"
"Do we really have to talk about this now?"
"You were the one who wanted me to talk, and now you suddenly have better things to do?" Rodney sounded hurt and John shook his head, pretty sure that Rodney couldn't see the movement.
"You did more than you had to do," said Rodney after a while, just as John had decided that Rodney had dropped the topic. "It meant something, and I'm grateful." Rodney reached out and gave John's knee a comforting pat.
"So, Keller?" John said. He was going for curious but he was pretty sure it didn't come out like that.
"She is beautiful, isn't she? Very nice, but…I'm not sure. Maybe a little young for me though, do you think?"
"You said you loved her," John said. "I've seen the tape."
"You do know it's not actually a tape, right?" Rodney said, but he sounded preoccupied.
"Do you?" John said. He had to hear it from Rodney, when Rodney was in his right mind.
"Of course I know it's not a tape,"
John didn't say anything, and Rodney was silent for so long that John was more than three-quarters asleep when he thought he heard Rodney speak again, but he didn't catch what he said.
Rodney's first thought the next morning was that his back didn't hurt quite as much as he'd predicted it would. He and John had started the night sitting next to each other but facing in opposite directions, as it was the only way they'd fit in. They'd both slid a bit during the night and Rodney had wound up leaning quite heavily on John's legs, and it seemed that John had done the same. Rodney tried to sit up without disturbing John too much, but then realised that John was already awake and looking at him.
"Nice as snuggling with you is, I can't feel my feet," Rodney told him. John moved so he wasn't leaning on Rodney's legs, and Rodney crawled out of the tree, making sure to keep up a continuous grumble the whole time. He lurched upright as soon as he could and was ready to give John a hand as he emerged into daylight.
"Well, you look like you've lost a fight with a bus," Rodney said when he got a look at John's face.
"Feels like it too," John said, probing his ribs with a cautious hand.
"Pretty much your entire face is purple," Rodney told him, stepping forward so he could gently probe at the bruise encircling John's left eye. "Seriously, how can you even see with your eyes as swollen as this?" he said softly. John flinched when Rodney hit a particularly sore spot, but he stayed still. If anything, he actually leaned into the touch and Rodney suddenly realised that he was standing too close to John and cupping his face with one hand. He stopped moving and looked at John, really looked. John was giving him that look again and Rodney frowned as a lot of things suddenly began to slot into place.
John turned abruptly away from Rodney's hand.
"Let's go," he said, and headed off without waiting to see whether Rodney would follow.
Rodney stared after him for a second, but the set of John's back and the way he had grabbed the stick they'd used to test the hollow tree and was using it to hack at anything and everything made even Rodney sure that John didn't want any further conversation. Useful, really, as Rodney didn't have any idea what to say.
Neither of them said anything for the next half hour. John kept up a steady pace, slightly quicker than Rodney would have liked, but the slashing got less vicious so Rodney figured John was working off the bad mood.
"I think we're going the wrong way," he said after a while. They were going downhill and the ground was getting steadily damper underfoot.
"What?" John stopped, seeming to take in their surroundings for the first time.
"I think we need to bear more to the right, where the ground is higher."
"Left will be quicker," John said.
"I hate to suggest that your navigation skills are somewhat lacking, but on this occasion, right is actually right, plus, left is downhill and will definitely be swampier."
"I'm really not that keen on spending the entire day in the forest, Rodney."
"Do we really need to go anywhere? We've missed check in, even if Ronon and Teyla didn't get back to the gate…even if Ronon and Teyla had to hide too, Atlantis will send a jumper though and they can use the sub-cue-tees to track us - all we've got to do is wait for our ride."
"Can't land a jumper in these trees," John said shortly. "And the closer to the gate we are, the easier it will be for them to find us."
"We should still go right, the trees might be sparser and it'll be easier to land a jumper, or at least get low enough to winch us up."
"Left it is," John said.
"Oh, for…did you even listen to anything I just said or are you so… so stupid that you won't even listen to anything I say?"
"It's a little bit of mud, McKay, it's not like it'll kill us."
Rodney ignored the McKay, despite the fact that it kind of stung, to concentrate on the more important things.
"First, we have no idea how much mud it is, or what's in it, and taking a tiny bit longer won't kill us either. It's not like we haven't spent the whole morning going really fast in the wrong direction."
"All the more reason not to waste any more time, then." John said, and went left, moving with a little more caution than he'd been using previously. Rodney made a noise of frustration and quite a lot of anger, but John heard him start to follow.
The ground got steadily wetter underfoot, and John slipped quite a few times. The second time he wrenched his already-sore ribs quite badly and just barely restrained a yelp of pain. He glanced at Rodney to make sure he hadn't heard, to find that Rodney was watching him with a worried look on his face. The sight made John take an ill-considered step, and suddenly he was plunging forward, sinking into the mud. He tried to catch himself with the other foot, but only succeeded in burying himself up to his knees in thick clayey mud, only keeping himself upright by dint of flailing madly. Suddenly, Rodney's big arms were around his chest and his solid weight was at John's back, and with a mighty heave John's feet came out of the mud and they were staggering backwards onto more solid ground, both panting harshly. Rodney didn't let go, and John was suddenly too exhausted to make him.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, and Rodney finally let his arms fall and moved away slightly, letting John turn and face him.
"You were never going to tell me, were you?" Rodney said, and he looked puzzled and hurt.
John shook his head, using his stick to try and wipe the worst of the clay off his boots.
"Why not?"
"Samantha Carter, Katie Brown, Jennifer Keller," John said, avoiding Rodney's eyes. "Plus, we're team mates, it's not really appropriate."
"Philip Martin, Richard Taylor, Marco Ramirez," Rodney said. "And hello, Chaya, Larrin, Teer?"
John stopped trying to remove the mud.
"Yeah, well," he said. "How long had you known me before you found out I used to be married?"
"Only as long as it took me to hack your personal file," Rodney said, without even blinking and despite himself John smiled.
"How long until I actually mentioned it?" he asked.
"About 4 years," Rodney said. "I didn't mind."
John gave him an incredulous look.
"It's not important," Rodney said. "I mean, obviously, if you're still in love with her or something and have been secretly pining for years, then maybe but otherwise? Not relevant."
"Remind me to introduce you to her someday," John said.
"Let's get back to the gate," Rodney said, sounding amused and affectionate. "You look like you could use a shower."
John's boots were heavy with clay, and his pants now chafed against his legs, but somehow they seemed to make better time than they'd done previously.
It turned out that they'd gone a considerable distance in the wrong direction, but Ronon and Teyla had managed to go straight through the gate with no further injuries and lead the rescue team straight back to them. John was only too grateful for the distraction.
~~
A short infirmary stay later, and John was heading back to his quarters with strapped-up ribs and a nice big pack of anti-inflammatories. Part of him was expecting to see Rodney there, but the room was as empty as always and John went straight to bed.
He saw Rodney in the mess the next morning and Rodney was exactly the same as usual. He was regaling the story of their great epic trek to Teyla and Ronon, both of whom had made it back to the gate with no further injuries.
"…and then he leads me through a mud pit! Oh, hello Colonel,"
"The mud pit wasn't actually part of the plan," John said. "I may never get that stuff off my boots - it set solid."
"Rock solid?" Rodney said with a grin, and John rolled his eyes.
Things were clearly back to normal. Rodney didn't seem inclined to act on what he'd learned, and for a few days John was relieved about this. After another few days, he switched to being annoyed instead. Here he was, having practically thrown himself at Rodney, and the guy didn't even say 'huh?' After another few days, he decided to speak to Rodney about it. Typically, he chose the one night of the year when Rodney wasn't in the labs, but John had made up his mind and eventually found Rodney in his quarters.
"Come on in," Rodney said, gesturing helpfully at the room.
"What would you have done if I had told you?" John said, when the door had closed safely behind him.
"This," said Rodney, stepping into John's space and pressing a firm, closed-mouth kiss on his lips.
"But…" John said, when Rodney pulled away.
"Why not? We're both single, consenting adults, why wouldn't I do that?"
"Uh…"
"Yes, we work together, but we've been more than colleagues for years." Rodney said. "In fact, I've no idea why I didn't see this coming. Seriously, I don't know whether not telling me was part of your martyr complex, some freaky military idea about celibacy or perhaps you've just taken 'don’t ask, don't tell' to its most extreme conclusion, but you've clearly been looking at me for years and I don't want you to stop."
"So you're going to talk me to death," said John, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face.
"Damn right!" said Rodney, and then they were pressed together all the way down and Rodney's lips were on John's and all John could do was hold on.
The End.
Poll
Author: emeraldsword ( interview)
Team: War
Prompt: Feet of Clay
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: Suitable for All
Warnings: None
Summary: "Are we going to crawl in there, assuming I can even fit through that gap, to get our faces chewed off by rodents with space-rabies?" - Set just after 'The Shrine'.
Personal notes: many, many thanks go to gumbie_cat and lycoris for beta, general cheerleading and very helpful feedback. Thanks, you two!
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
Rodney managed to hit his head on the floor when they threw him into the cell. Not hard, just a sharp knock that made his head ring and his eyes stream. The cell door slammed behind them and Rodney twisted himself into a sitting position and stared around.
Ronon, Teyla and John were sprawled out over the cell floor in various stages of consciousness. Teyla was already beginning to get up, but John and Ronon seemed to be out cold. Rodney crawled over to take Ronon's pulse; finding that he had one, Rodney moved over to Sheppard. John was flat on his back, limbs askew, eyes closed and face already purpling with what were clearly going to be some really impressive bruises. Rodney grabbed for John's left wrist, feeling intently for a pulse. For an awful moment he couldn't find one, but then he felt John's arm twitch and looked up to see that John's eyes were open and he was staring at Rodney, looking confused.
"Oh, thank God you're alive," Rodney said. He realised that he was almost holding John's hand and released it quickly with a quick pat. John lowered his head gently back to the floor, wincing.
"We are trapped," Teyla informed them from the door. "The door and windows appear to be quite secure."
Ronon groaned, sitting up and beginning to check himself for injuries.
"Any air vents?" asked Rodney.
"None big enough to accommodate us," Teyla said.
"They took all my weapons," Ronon reported.
"What, all of them?" John said.
"They were thorough," said Ronon.
Teyla sighed and sat down on the cell floor, but Ronon was on his feet and pacing.
"Why does this keep happening to us?" Rodney asked. "You would think that a planet where the gate is surrounded by 400-foot trees which make farming difficult would be grateful to receive people trying to trade root vegetables. "
"Being locked up had nothing to do with the vegetables, McKay," Ronon said.
"Well, with our luck, next time the vegetables will probably be a key factor!" Rodney said, darting a quick look at John, who was smirking slightly. "Perhaps we should try trading something a little less phallic…" he mused. John smiled outright, then winced.
"Did they say anything else after we were out?" he asked Rodney.
"Hey, I was manhandled too, you know!"
Ronon frowned at him, and Rodney looked slightly sheepish.
"Only what you heard, blah blah welcome, blah blah, dangerous times blah blah you have been consorting with our most hated enemies blah. After the most hated enemies showed up, very little. We'll probably be here for the duration of their civil war, and that's assuming our side wins."
"Oh great," said John. He'd heaved himself into a sitting position and was looking a bit green. Rodney prudently moved back slightly.
"Seriously," said John. "If they didn't want to trade with us, they could have just sent us home."
"I suggested that!" Rodney said, watching John anxiously as John moved so he could lean against the wall. "It, er, didn't go so well." He gestured around the cell, and Ronon rolled his eyes.
"How long is this going to take?" Ronon asked. No one bothered to answer him.
"If there is a guard, we may be able to negotiate our release in exchange for medical supplies," Teyla said.
"Worth a try," agreed John and Teyla moved over to the door.
"You OK?" Rodney asked. John's eyes were closed again but he opened them to give Rodney a weaker version of the 'don't be an idiot' glare he seemed to save especially for Rodney.
"Well, you're obviously not OK but are you likely to die as we speak? Do you have internal bleeding or is the only damage helpfully displayed on your face?"
"Got a couple of cracked ribs, maybe," John said. "Not sure. Nothing serious."
"Oh God," said Rodney, but John glared at him again so he wisely shut up.
"There are no guards," Teyla said.
Ronon snarled and began pacing again.
"So, we overpower them when they come to give us food?" Rodney said.
Teyla sighed but nodded, and they settled down to wait.
~
Patience is a virtue very rarely attributed to Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex, for very good reasons. After three hours in the cell, both of them were pacing in different directions, and Rodney was muttering to himself.
"Will you sit down?" Teyla said, the edge in her voice making it clear that if they did not she would make them.
"There must be some way out!" Ronon said, as he'd been saying roughly every half-hour.
"It is a cell like all the others we have ever been in," Teyla said. "You would do better to conserve your energy for when it is needed. Your pacing is disturbing John."
"And he shouldn't be sleeping with that head wound!" Rodney said, sitting down heavily next to John and kicking him on the ankle.
"Still not sleeping," John said, although he sounded drowsy. "And would you quit kicking me? We're going to be leaving here on foot, remember?"
"Oh please, I didn't kick you very hard," Rodney said. He would have said more, but glares from both John and Teyla made him decide not to pursue the matter any further.
~~
They'd been in the cell five hours when the door swung open. All four leapt to their feet and Ronon and Teyla charged through the door, only to stop in the hallway.
"There is no one here," Teyla said.
A quick examination of the door lock showed that it had been on some sort of time release.
"You couldn't have figured that out before?" John said.
"Well, how was I supposed to know? It looked just the same as all other locks from the inside!"
"We must find our weapons and leave," Teyla said.
"This way," said Ronon, and set off down the corridor in a loping run.
They didn't find any guards, but they didn't find their weapons either. It wasn't until they stepped out of the building and into a courtyard strewn with bodies that they saw any sign that the place had ever been inhabited.
"Oh, Jesus," Rodney said. Ronon had gone to the nearest body and was calmly removed the ammunition from the pouch at the waist. John gave him a look, and he and Teyla followed Ronon's example.
"No," Rodney said, when John tried to hand him a small handgun. "Please," he added, but he could hear the pleading edge in his voice and knew he was going to lose this battle.
"We just need to get to the gate, Rodney," John said. "We don't want to run into whoever killed these guys, especially not without weapons."
Rodney swallowed, but took the gun.
The shooting started when they were about halfway to the gate. There was an upsettingly lengthy period of total confusion, and then Rodney and John were alone in the middle of a forest. On the up side, it sounded as though they'd managed to shake off the pursuit, but on the down side they'd also lost Teyla and Ronon.
"I have no idea where we are," Rodney announced. John looked at him, took three paces sideways and started throwing up. Rodney was never quite sure what the etiquette on things like this was, so he tactfully looked the other way and pretended not to notice. John coughed and spat and pulled himself upright again.
"So, uh, I think the gate is east," Rodney said. "Of course, without a compass that doesn't help us."
"We need to rest," John said, moving away from the vomit and sitting down with his back against one of the scarily huge trees. "Do you have any food left?"
"Couple of power bars, maybe," Rodney said, sitting down next to him and checking his pockets. "Definitely," he amended, "and some of those nut-things from MX2-496."
John nodded. "It's going to be dark soon."
"We've got to find the gate in the dark? We'll be wandering around for days!"
"I agree," John said. "That's why we're going to find some place to camp."
"No tents, no sleeping bag, basically no food and he wants to camp." Rodney used his best long-suffering voice and was rewarded by John's eye roll.
"I think I saw a hollow tree back that way," John said, gesturing vaguely in the direction they'd come.
"A what? John, you can't be serious," and John gave him the look he'd been giving Rodney more often lately, the one that Rodney couldn't interpret.
"If you'd been listening during the briefing instead of daydreaming about your Nobel, you'd remember that one of the delights of this charming Pegasus vacation spot is the large nocturnal predators. So, I'm thinking that sleeping under the stars is a bad plan, and as we've neglected to bring the tents on this trip, I'm thinking a hollow tree is our best bet. Obviously, if you have other suggestions then I'm more than happy to hear them."
"I always wanted a tree house," Rodney said, getting to his feet resignedly and follow John back in the direction they'd come. "First my parents wouldn't let me because I was too young, then it was because Jeannie was too young and after that I realised it was a losing battle."
"I had a tree house," John said. "It had a step ladder to get into it." He stopped in front of a tree with a smallish hole at ground level. "Check it out,"
"What makes these? Something with a lot of teeth? More importantly, is it still living there? Are we going to crawl in there, assuming I can even fit through that gap, to get our faces chewed off by rodents with space-rabies?"
"Only one way to find out," said John.
"Oh God,"
"We poke it with a stick," John said.
Rodney stared at him, mouth opening and closing, and John burst out laughing.
"Oh, for…we're going to die," Rodney announced loudly, but he was smiling. "Our corpses will be eaten by rats, enraged by the fact that we poked them with sticks. Sticks!"
John managed to stop laughing. "It's either that or we crawl right in there," John said. He picked up a largish branch and prodded it cautiously into the hole. When it didn't hit anything, he got down on hands and knees and prepared to crawl inside.
"Oh, let me," Rodney said. "We both know you'll be totally useless if you find a bug in there. Besides, I don't think your face can take any more abuse today."
John rolled his eyes and sat back on his haunches, watching in disbelief as Rodney unclipped a tiny flashlight from his belt.
"You didn't think to mention that before?"
"It's supposed to be a key ring, I forgot I had it!" Rodney shone the light into the hole. "Well, it just about might be big enough," he said doubtfully. "Hollow trees are creepy, don't you think?" he said conversationally when the little beam of light failed to show anything more useful. "Nothing should be able to live without its heart." He clamped the flashlight between his teeth and crawled in.
"It's fine," he called after what seemed to John to be an unnecessarily long pause. "Going to be very cramped, damp and unpleasant, but I'm sure that if I think about it long enough I'll be able to think of worse places I've spent the night. Really, this is so small, I'm not even sure it counts as a hollow tree."
John sighed and crawled in after him, almost bumping into Rodney who'd decided to crawl back out.
"Why are you coming in?"
"To see if there's room enough for us both while it's still light enough for us to find somewhere else?"
"Fine," Rodney said, shuffling towards the back of the tree. "This is going to ruin my back, you know. It wouldn't surprise me if I was permanently crippled, and what it'll do to your ribs, I shudder to think."
"Why Rodney, I didn't know you cared," he said lightly, ignoring the treacherous little flutter under said ribs.
"Of course I care!" snapped Rodney irritably. There was a pause. "After all, who else is going to find me hollow trees to sleep in when we're being hunted by both natives and giant predators?"
"That's the spirit," John said. He didn't smile, because smiling hurt his face, but he allowed himself a moment of affection before saying "Come on, let's get back outside. We need to use the rest of the daylight to eat and make ourselves comfortable - we don't want to be wandering about after dark."
~
There really wasn't much room inside the tree. It wasn't completely hollow but there was just room enough for the two of them to sit upright if they sat next to each other but facing in opposite directions. Rodney had complained about having to sit next to John's feet but then, typical Rodney, managed to fall asleep straight away. He also snored. After half an hour, John nudged him.
"Uh?" Rodney sounded groggy and confused, and John almost felt guilty for a moment.
"Your snoring is keeping me awake," John said. His head hurt, his ribs hurt and he was damned if he was going to sit here quietly for eight hours and listen to Rodney snore.
"Go to sleep then," said Rodney grumpily. "The head wound probably counts as old now, and you kept your dinner down, I'm sure you'll be fine."
John sighed. "Talk to me," he said.
Rodney didn't say anything for a while, which John spent trying to decide whether to prompt him again or whether to just shut up.
"Are we OK?" Rodney said.
"What?"
"I mean, maybe I didn't thank you properly for your help with the parasite, but you were kind," Rodney said.
"What are friends for?" John asked.
"But since then, things have been…" Rodney trailed off. "Don't you feel it?"
"Do we really have to talk about this now?"
"You were the one who wanted me to talk, and now you suddenly have better things to do?" Rodney sounded hurt and John shook his head, pretty sure that Rodney couldn't see the movement.
"You did more than you had to do," said Rodney after a while, just as John had decided that Rodney had dropped the topic. "It meant something, and I'm grateful." Rodney reached out and gave John's knee a comforting pat.
"So, Keller?" John said. He was going for curious but he was pretty sure it didn't come out like that.
"She is beautiful, isn't she? Very nice, but…I'm not sure. Maybe a little young for me though, do you think?"
"You said you loved her," John said. "I've seen the tape."
"You do know it's not actually a tape, right?" Rodney said, but he sounded preoccupied.
"Do you?" John said. He had to hear it from Rodney, when Rodney was in his right mind.
"Of course I know it's not a tape,"
John didn't say anything, and Rodney was silent for so long that John was more than three-quarters asleep when he thought he heard Rodney speak again, but he didn't catch what he said.
Rodney's first thought the next morning was that his back didn't hurt quite as much as he'd predicted it would. He and John had started the night sitting next to each other but facing in opposite directions, as it was the only way they'd fit in. They'd both slid a bit during the night and Rodney had wound up leaning quite heavily on John's legs, and it seemed that John had done the same. Rodney tried to sit up without disturbing John too much, but then realised that John was already awake and looking at him.
"Nice as snuggling with you is, I can't feel my feet," Rodney told him. John moved so he wasn't leaning on Rodney's legs, and Rodney crawled out of the tree, making sure to keep up a continuous grumble the whole time. He lurched upright as soon as he could and was ready to give John a hand as he emerged into daylight.
"Well, you look like you've lost a fight with a bus," Rodney said when he got a look at John's face.
"Feels like it too," John said, probing his ribs with a cautious hand.
"Pretty much your entire face is purple," Rodney told him, stepping forward so he could gently probe at the bruise encircling John's left eye. "Seriously, how can you even see with your eyes as swollen as this?" he said softly. John flinched when Rodney hit a particularly sore spot, but he stayed still. If anything, he actually leaned into the touch and Rodney suddenly realised that he was standing too close to John and cupping his face with one hand. He stopped moving and looked at John, really looked. John was giving him that look again and Rodney frowned as a lot of things suddenly began to slot into place.
John turned abruptly away from Rodney's hand.
"Let's go," he said, and headed off without waiting to see whether Rodney would follow.
Rodney stared after him for a second, but the set of John's back and the way he had grabbed the stick they'd used to test the hollow tree and was using it to hack at anything and everything made even Rodney sure that John didn't want any further conversation. Useful, really, as Rodney didn't have any idea what to say.
Neither of them said anything for the next half hour. John kept up a steady pace, slightly quicker than Rodney would have liked, but the slashing got less vicious so Rodney figured John was working off the bad mood.
"I think we're going the wrong way," he said after a while. They were going downhill and the ground was getting steadily damper underfoot.
"What?" John stopped, seeming to take in their surroundings for the first time.
"I think we need to bear more to the right, where the ground is higher."
"Left will be quicker," John said.
"I hate to suggest that your navigation skills are somewhat lacking, but on this occasion, right is actually right, plus, left is downhill and will definitely be swampier."
"I'm really not that keen on spending the entire day in the forest, Rodney."
"Do we really need to go anywhere? We've missed check in, even if Ronon and Teyla didn't get back to the gate…even if Ronon and Teyla had to hide too, Atlantis will send a jumper though and they can use the sub-cue-tees to track us - all we've got to do is wait for our ride."
"Can't land a jumper in these trees," John said shortly. "And the closer to the gate we are, the easier it will be for them to find us."
"We should still go right, the trees might be sparser and it'll be easier to land a jumper, or at least get low enough to winch us up."
"Left it is," John said.
"Oh, for…did you even listen to anything I just said or are you so… so stupid that you won't even listen to anything I say?"
"It's a little bit of mud, McKay, it's not like it'll kill us."
Rodney ignored the McKay, despite the fact that it kind of stung, to concentrate on the more important things.
"First, we have no idea how much mud it is, or what's in it, and taking a tiny bit longer won't kill us either. It's not like we haven't spent the whole morning going really fast in the wrong direction."
"All the more reason not to waste any more time, then." John said, and went left, moving with a little more caution than he'd been using previously. Rodney made a noise of frustration and quite a lot of anger, but John heard him start to follow.
The ground got steadily wetter underfoot, and John slipped quite a few times. The second time he wrenched his already-sore ribs quite badly and just barely restrained a yelp of pain. He glanced at Rodney to make sure he hadn't heard, to find that Rodney was watching him with a worried look on his face. The sight made John take an ill-considered step, and suddenly he was plunging forward, sinking into the mud. He tried to catch himself with the other foot, but only succeeded in burying himself up to his knees in thick clayey mud, only keeping himself upright by dint of flailing madly. Suddenly, Rodney's big arms were around his chest and his solid weight was at John's back, and with a mighty heave John's feet came out of the mud and they were staggering backwards onto more solid ground, both panting harshly. Rodney didn't let go, and John was suddenly too exhausted to make him.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, and Rodney finally let his arms fall and moved away slightly, letting John turn and face him.
"You were never going to tell me, were you?" Rodney said, and he looked puzzled and hurt.
John shook his head, using his stick to try and wipe the worst of the clay off his boots.
"Why not?"
"Samantha Carter, Katie Brown, Jennifer Keller," John said, avoiding Rodney's eyes. "Plus, we're team mates, it's not really appropriate."
"Philip Martin, Richard Taylor, Marco Ramirez," Rodney said. "And hello, Chaya, Larrin, Teer?"
John stopped trying to remove the mud.
"Yeah, well," he said. "How long had you known me before you found out I used to be married?"
"Only as long as it took me to hack your personal file," Rodney said, without even blinking and despite himself John smiled.
"How long until I actually mentioned it?" he asked.
"About 4 years," Rodney said. "I didn't mind."
John gave him an incredulous look.
"It's not important," Rodney said. "I mean, obviously, if you're still in love with her or something and have been secretly pining for years, then maybe but otherwise? Not relevant."
"Remind me to introduce you to her someday," John said.
"Let's get back to the gate," Rodney said, sounding amused and affectionate. "You look like you could use a shower."
John's boots were heavy with clay, and his pants now chafed against his legs, but somehow they seemed to make better time than they'd done previously.
It turned out that they'd gone a considerable distance in the wrong direction, but Ronon and Teyla had managed to go straight through the gate with no further injuries and lead the rescue team straight back to them. John was only too grateful for the distraction.
~~
A short infirmary stay later, and John was heading back to his quarters with strapped-up ribs and a nice big pack of anti-inflammatories. Part of him was expecting to see Rodney there, but the room was as empty as always and John went straight to bed.
He saw Rodney in the mess the next morning and Rodney was exactly the same as usual. He was regaling the story of their great epic trek to Teyla and Ronon, both of whom had made it back to the gate with no further injuries.
"…and then he leads me through a mud pit! Oh, hello Colonel,"
"The mud pit wasn't actually part of the plan," John said. "I may never get that stuff off my boots - it set solid."
"Rock solid?" Rodney said with a grin, and John rolled his eyes.
Things were clearly back to normal. Rodney didn't seem inclined to act on what he'd learned, and for a few days John was relieved about this. After another few days, he switched to being annoyed instead. Here he was, having practically thrown himself at Rodney, and the guy didn't even say 'huh?' After another few days, he decided to speak to Rodney about it. Typically, he chose the one night of the year when Rodney wasn't in the labs, but John had made up his mind and eventually found Rodney in his quarters.
"Come on in," Rodney said, gesturing helpfully at the room.
"What would you have done if I had told you?" John said, when the door had closed safely behind him.
"This," said Rodney, stepping into John's space and pressing a firm, closed-mouth kiss on his lips.
"But…" John said, when Rodney pulled away.
"Why not? We're both single, consenting adults, why wouldn't I do that?"
"Uh…"
"Yes, we work together, but we've been more than colleagues for years." Rodney said. "In fact, I've no idea why I didn't see this coming. Seriously, I don't know whether not telling me was part of your martyr complex, some freaky military idea about celibacy or perhaps you've just taken 'don’t ask, don't tell' to its most extreme conclusion, but you've clearly been looking at me for years and I don't want you to stop."
"So you're going to talk me to death," said John, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face.
"Damn right!" said Rodney, and then they were pressed together all the way down and Rodney's lips were on John's and all John could do was hold on.
The End.
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