TEAM PLAY: acid test, "Tripping Over Shadows"
Title: Tripping Over Shadows
Author: danceswithgary
Team: Play
Prompt: acid test
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Rodney McKay and John Sheppard as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and MGM Television/Sony Pictures Television/Associated Production Companies. Any deviation (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.
Notes: Many thanks to my beta, (name withheld until reveal). Any remaining mistakes are all mine. Feedback is both welcome and appreciated.
Summary: John had refused to allow Rodney go exploring without him, which Rodney hadn't really minded, at least not until they'd both ended up stuck inside a room with no exit.
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**
Whereupon he got very
clumsy, giggled confidentially,
and tripped over her shadow,
carrying them both into
an unaccountable adventure.
Thomas Wolfe, "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test"
"You would think after six or so years of doing this, you'd have learned not to touch things before I say it's okay."
"Hey, I walked in here, I said 'What do you think they used this for?' then you walked in and the door closed."
"Well, you must have done something with that overactive gene of yours."
"Look around, Rodney. There's nothing in here that I can touch, and I sure as hell wasn't thinking 'on' at the walls."
Rodney doesn't need to look. He'd immediately noticed the complete lack of any equipment, or even furniture, after John had called him into what appears to be a 16-foot cube off the main lab area. The main problem they're facing is the door he'd walked through less than a minute ago, the same one that's now missing. His laptop is connected to the console located approximately six feet away, outside the room, so that's zero help. With a sigh, Rodney gives in to the inevitable and grumbles, "Go ahead. Think 'open' and that's all."
"What do think I've been doing?" John walks over to the wall where a door once existed and passes his hand over the seamless wall. "I got nothing." He presses against a few spots and shakes his head. "Weird, it's almost like it's…padded." He bounces in place a few times and announces, "Floor, too."
Rodney joins John at the wall to verify his findings then looks up at the featureless ceiling, which is emitting diffused light. "Not getting out up there."
"Not even if I stand on your shoulders," John agrees. He pulls his knife and attempts to cut into the gray covering, but it just skids along the surface without leaving a mark. "Hunh. Not as soft as it feels."
The impervious wall deflects a second blow, one that's hard enough that John bumps into Rodney, who then scowls at John and says irritably, "Obviously, channeling Ronon is not the way to go. Neither one of us needs any more scars. Can we just take it as a given that shooting at it will only endanger us?"
With a nod, John tucks his knife away, and then taps his radio. "Teldy, Kemp, come in." After a few moments, he frowns and taps again. "Control Room, this is Sheppard." A third try, "This is Colonel Sheppard. Is anyone picking this up?" and he shakes his head. "Nothing. Must be some sort of shielding in here."
"Oh, this is not good and totally not fair." While patting down his tac vest in a futile effort to find something useful for the situation, Rodney continues his complaining. "This was supposed to be a nice little break."
AT-1 had been on stand-down for almost two weeks, while Teyla was collaborating with Woolsey on several new treaties. Restless after too many days confined to the city, Ronon had chosen to visit the Satedan settlement on Belkan with Amelia and introduce her to some of their traditions. When the linguists had found references in the Ancient database to experiments not associated with ascension, weapons, or power generation, which should have equated to easy and possibly interesting, Rodney had decided joining the teams checking out the lower-level labs in the Western tower was the perfect opportunity to get out of his own lab. John had refused to allow Rodney go exploring without him, which Rodney hadn't really minded, at least not until they'd both ended up stuck inside a room with no exit.
Rodney can't help feeling a little resentment at John's laid-back attitude when John shrugs and leans against the wall, drawling, "Look, we'll be fine. One of the other teams will check in, find us missing, and call for help if they need it. Porter's good, so's Kusanagi. Worse case, they'll pull in Zelenka."
"Yes, yes, they're all competent enough, but you're presuming that it still looks like a door on the other side." His agitation growing, Rodney paces the perimeter of the room, pulling at the neck of his vest when the air starts feeling too thin. "See, this is what happens when a brilliant scientist gets bored. I should have just stayed in my lab waiting for my simulations to finish; that way I'd be out there solving the problem, instead of being stuck in here with you."
"Careful, I might just take that as an insult." John frowns as Rodney detours around him, but then the corner of John's mouth twitches, and Rodney suspects he's holding back one of his teasing grins. Rodney stops and reaches out in mute apology, even though he knows John isn't really offended.
John intercepts Rodney's hand to tug him close, and then he kisses Rodney, slow and sweet. With a sigh, Rodney relaxes against him, as much as the tac vests allow, and lets John lead. He's still not used to how easily he can touch John whenever he wants, and the thought sends a pleasant shiver down Rodney's spine as he rests his hands on John's hips. After a few minutes, Rodney hums and reluctantly pulls away to lean against the wall, his knees feeling distinctly wobbly, and says, "You know, I should be panicking right about now about air, food, and water, but I'm feeling surprisingly…calm."
John waggles his eyebrows and grins. "That I'll take as a compliment." He inches closer to Rodney, but he doesn't push for more, despite his evident arousal, and Rodney feels a twinge of guilt at the glacial speed he's insisted on since they'd decided to try dating. Still, after his failures with Katie and Jennifer, the last thing Rodney wants to do is screw up what he has with John and possibly lose his friendship if they get in too deep and it doesn't work out. Thankfully, John seems to be okay with just the kissing and touching they've added to their daily activities and is willing to wait for Rodney to be ready for more.
Despite the distraction provided by John, Rodney needs to let him know he's feeling increasingly uncomfortable with each passing minute. "I'm starting to get chills and hot flashes. That can't be good." Glancing around at their surroundings, Rodney suddenly recalls one of the items Alison Porter had brought up in the teams' briefing. "The notes on these labs mentioned psychological testing, in addition to the imaging modules I was interested in." He waves at the walls. "It is a padded room. It's entirely possible we're being drugged."
"I think you're just talking yourself into a mild panic attack." John backs up a little to give Rodney some more space, a mild look of concern on his face. "Maybe you should sit down and put your head between your knees for a few minutes."
"Oh, is that your expert diagnosis, Dr. Sheppard?" Rodney snaps back, irritated at John's easy dismissal of his concerns.
"Hey, you have to admit you get a little weird when you think a place is too…." John suddenly stops, jerks his head to the left, and half-turns. "Then again, maybe not."
Rodney turns to look, but doesn't see anything but gray walls. "What?"
"You didn't see that?" John slowly rotates to scan the entire room then suddenly backs up into Rodney, pressing him against the wall. "Whoa! What the hell?"
Peering over John's shoulder, Rodney still doesn't see anything, but his heart speeds up when John pulls his handgun and extends it with the safety off. "John, there's nothing here except you and me."
Rodney tries to slide away along the wall, but John reaches back to plant the hand not holding the gun against Rodney's chest, saying, "Don't move. This room must be some kind of transporter, but why would it send us to a cave instead of a different room in Atlantis?"
"You see a cave?" Worried about trying to calm down a hallucinating man holding a gun, Rodney touches the hand pressed against him and he suddenly sees shadowed rocky walls with moisture trickling down glowing patches of phosphorescent lichen. "With stalactites?"
John shrugs. "Are those the ones that go up or down? I can never remember."
"Down. Stalactites hold tight to the roof." To confirm his hypothesis, Rodney stops touching John's hand, and he's back in the innocuous gray room. "Huh. Doesn't matter, though, because we're not really in a cave."
Tension is in every line of John's body as he continues to scan the room with gun in hand. "Sure as hell looks like we are, Rodney."
"It has to be some sort of illusion. I can't see anything but the room unless I touch you." Rodney suits his actions to his words and clasps John's hand. "Okay, I can see the cave again. My best guess is drugs or technology, maybe both."
John squeezes Rodney's hand, but doesn't stop checking the room. "Why me and not you?"
Rodney thinks for a moment then offers a possible explanation. "It could be something like the mist planet or that Wraith EM generator on M1B-129. I didn't manipulate the mist visions like you did at your wild party, but I was the last one affected by the Wraith tech, except for Teyla." He scratches at his neck compulsively as he reminds John, "I told you before that smoking pot didn't do anything except make me itchy and hungry."
John glances over his shoulder to frown at Rodney. "Great. That's just great. Mitch and Dex, Holland, Kolya. That's all I need - to see more dead people."
Rodney points at John's gun, hoping they aren't going to end up revisiting Afghanistan. "Look, just…please don't shoot or stab or hit anything while we're in here." He almost regrets it when John turns to look at Rodney with remorse written all over his face, but Rodney can't ignore the danger to both of them. "It would be bad if it turns out to be me instead of whoever or whatever it is that you think you see."
"God, Rodney," John chokes out. "I wouldn't…I promise I won't hurt you again."
Rodney squeezes John's hand in mute apology, but still insists, "I know you wouldn't mean to, but I'll feel a lot safer if you put the gun away."
"Okay, sure. That makes sense. What could get to us in an empty room?" John suits his actions to his words, returning his gun to his holster, although Rodney understands why John doesn't secure the strap. Releasing Rodney's hand in order to feel his way to the wall, John turns and leans back against it with a sigh, stretching the tension from his neck. "All right. Now what?"
Rodney peers through a drenching rain at endless waves of glass-green water surrounding them and grabs for John's bicep. When the scene in front of him doesn't change, Rodney slides his hand down until he's touching the skin of John's forearm and staring at the creepy dark cave again. "We, uh, don't let go of each other until this is over."
"Rodney?" There's a distinctly worried tone in John's voice, as he turns and takes Rodney's hand, and then laces their fingers together. "What's going on?"
"I think I like your hallucination better." Rodney turns toward John's dimly lit face and tries to smile. "I'm not sure why I'm seeing yours when we're touching, instead of the other way around, but it's really okay because I'd rather not get eaten by a whale again."
"A whale, huh?" John agrees with a sickly-looking smile. "Yeah, that wasn't fun." He looks around the cave again and then asks, "You think I could change this, like I did back on the mist planet?"
"You could try, just don't make it worse." Rodney waits for a minute or two, but nothing seems to change in their surroundings until he hears a sound that raises the hairs on the back of his neck. "I said 'don't make it worse'!"
John starts backing away along the wall from the chittering shadows on the ground, dragging Rodney around so he's behind John. "Fuck! I hate those damn things!"
He starts fumbling for his gun, but Rodney shouts, "No, John! You promised!"
John shouts back, "I'm not letting them near us, Rodney!" but he leaves the gun in the holster and continues to move back, trying to put more distance between them and the slowly advancing iratus bugs. Unfortunately, the dimensions of the room haven't changed, despite what they're seeing and hearing, and it isn't long before they're backing into a corner. "Okay, either you come up with something useful or it's the gun."
Although he's been thinking frantically, Rodney's been unable to arrive at a solution that doesn't require access to technology he can't reach. Tucked behind John, he's almost reached the point of closing his eyes and chanting, "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real," when he hears a different sound, a low growling whine he hasn't heard in years.
"What the hell?" John's baffled exclamation has Rodney peering over his shoulder in time to see a furry paw the size of a dinner plate flatten one of the bugs, while another bug crunches like kibble between sharp teeth. "Is that…?"
"My cat," Rodney breathes out in disbelief. "A really, really big version of Isaac. I was just thinking how he loved catching and eating insects. I never had any spiders or palmetto bugs in my apartment."
It only takes a minute or two for Rodney's giant pet to crunch his way through his movable feast and then take his leave in a Cheshire-style exit. His legs wobbly with relief, Rodney leans his head against John's shoulder and laughs a little shakily. "Did I ever tell you how much I miss that cat?"
John turns around and tugs Rodney into a quick hug. "The picture on your nightstand was a big hint." He shifts to the side to lean against the wall next to Rodney and lets his head drop back with a dull thud. "So it looks like you can change things in here too."
"Um, yes?" Rodney looks around the cavern and mutters, "I'd really like to not be in a small dark place, but I'm also not really sure I want to try anything else. I've never been fond of the frying pan or fire and rock or hard place options."
"I hear you, buddy." John rubs his neck with his free hand and then puffs out a long breath. "I think maybe I've got a handle on this, so let me try again." Before Rodney can object, John begins murmuring, "Clear blue skies, clear blue skies, clear blue skies…" The walls of the cave gradually melt away under the brilliant rays of a midday sun, and then they're standing on the crest of a grassy knoll at the edge of a coniferous forest, overlooking a rolling plain. John flashes a grin at Rodney. "Told you I was getting the hang of it."
Rodney takes a few steps forward and sinks to the ground with a relieved sigh, dragging John down to sit beside him. "I know that this is all in our heads, but it's easier to deal with outside." Starting to feel overheated, he swipes his face against his upper arm to mop up some of the sweat trickling down it. "I'm getting kind of warm under this fake sun."
John chuckles and agrees, as he uses his free hand to brush back the hair that's sticking to his forehead. "Yeah, but at least you don't really need any sunscreen. Or bug spray." John eases the zipper of his tac vest halfway down and points to Rodney's until he does the same, then they shift so that they're sitting back-to-back and can see in all directions while still holding hands. It isn't long before a rustling in the trees to the side of them catches their attention, and then John groans and scrambles back to his feet, tugging Rodney up with him. "Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."
Rodney can't decide if he should laugh or run when he sees what's clomping toward them. Bushy orange hair, red noses, bright greasepaint, outsized shoes, and baggy striped pants could only do so much to disguise the three Wraith advancing across the grass. John's hand twitches toward his gun, but a hissed, "No gun, remember?" short-circuits his move. Rodney starts to take a step back, but then he lifts his chin in determination and says, "It can't be too hard to get rid of these jokers."
John chokes a little at Rodney's assertion and starts forward to place himself in harm's way, but then stops dead when personal-sized thunderheads, complete with little flashes of lightning, form a few feet above the evil clowns' heads. Rodney chuckles and waves his hand, and an extremely localized rainstorm begins to flatten the frightening hair and wash away the gaudy makeup. The three disheveled Wraith look up in dismay and then run for the shelter of the trees but, before they can reach a safe haven, lightning strikes and they fall to the ground with little puffs of steam rising from their bodies. Less than a minute later, nothing's left of them, all evidence dissolving into the grass quickly as the clouds dissipated.
John's eyebrows eloquently convey his surprise and disbelief when Rodney turns to him with an irrepressible grin. "Okay, that was…weird."
With a shrug and a brief flush of embarrassment, Rodney dismisses the surreal battle. "Granted it wasn't a scientifically sound solution, but it worked without risking any extraneous holes in you or me."
Pointing to the spot where the Wraith had vanished, John laughs. "Got to say I never would have thought of a 'Wizard of Oz' solution."
"Well, we usually take turns and fill in what's missing for each other. That's why we work so well together."
John turns his head to look at Rodney, grins and squeezes Rodney's hand. "Yeah, buddy, we sure do." He licks his lips and starts leaning towards Rodney, but there's a stirring in the grass where the Wraith melted, and they both step back warily. Green shoots suddenly appear, their growth so accelerated that, within a minute, there are flowers opening under the imaginary sun. John chuckles and walks over to them, tugging Rodney along with him. "Hey, daisies! My favorites!"
"Your favorites," Rodney echoes softly. "You told me that when we were walking through a field, right before…."
"…we found the Genii's not-so-secret hatch." John tips his head a little as he looks at Rodney, his eyes alight with pleased surprise. "You remembered."
Rodney nods and returns the smile because John doesn't know it, but Rodney remembers everything he's ever learned about John since the first day they met. John hates mushrooms and loves Kataran honeycakes, rarely laces his size-12 boots more than halfway up and doesn't wear socks with his running shoes, insists Eartha Kitt was the best Catwoman, worships Evel Knievel, prefers to sleep on his left side, and carries a silver dollar and an epi-pen in the upper left pocket of his tac vest. His mental listing could go on and on but before Rodney can reveal how much he knows, there's a low buzzing in the vicinity of the flowers. When he spots the bees, Rodney's breathing begins to accelerate. "John…."
"Crap." John begins to push Rodney back, putting himself between Rodney and the tiny striped menaces, but then he stops and turns to face Rodney with a smile. "Wait. This one's mine." He raises his hand to display a small device that he hooks onto his vest. The moment it attaches, the unforgettable pale-green sizzle of a personal shield surrounds the two of them, a single shield that they're sharing.
Rodney watches as the shield repels a wandering bee with a green zap and nods, once again impressed by John's quick thinking. "That works much better than the giant can of insecticide I was ready to conjure up, which probably would have choked me to death with poisonous fumes."
"Or I could have just done this." John laughs and waves his hand and the flowers disappear, taking the bees with them. "I just thought a shield would be cooler."
Rodney huffs a relieved laugh and then makes a suggestion. "While I realize there's probably some kind of drug involved, because I'm still not feeling nearly as panicky as I normally would in a situation where we're trapped in a small room and sharing hallucinations, but I'm still going to suggest that we both try to relax and enjoy this. You know, kick back and think nice non-lethal thoughts until we get out of here."
"Right. Relax." John rubs the back of his neck and grimaces a little as he considers options. "A beach would be great."
"Sun and sand and too hot and I really think it's a bad idea taking any clothes off out here." Rodney frowns and tries again. "In here. The room we're stuck inside that we can't see."
John's eyes widen and he instantly agrees. "Yeah, not when my marines are going to come crashing in here any minute now," After scanning the area around them, he casually repeats, "Marines." He looks up and whistles tunelessly, waiting a few seconds before adding, "Crashing in. Any minute. Now." When nothing happens, he ducks his head and smiles a little sheepishly at Rodney. "It was worth a shot."
"You do realize we have no idea how much time has elapsed since we walked in here?" Rodney frowns at his watch, which seems to indicate approximately twenty minutes have gone by. "It could be longer or shorter with our altered perceptions."
"Not much we can do about that." John shrugs and shifts a little restlessly. "I hate just standing here waiting. If it was just me in here…."
Rodney doesn't wait very long before asking a little impatiently, "What?"
"I was just thinking of the best day I ever had flying, back on Earth." John tips his head back to gaze up at the made-to-order clear blue sky. "I got lucky and had a chance to take a P-51 Mustang up." Rolling his head toward Rodney, John pouts a little as he shakes their clasped hands. "No seat for a co-pilot, though."
"I suppose you could try one of your helicopters, although I'm not sure how I feel about moving aboveground at speed, even if it isn't real." When John shakes his head, Rodney thinks for a few moments and comes up with something his 'the laws of physics cannot simply be ignored' brain can more easily accept. "Okay, I have an idea, but we'll need to sit again. Oh, and you're in charge of keeping the shield on us at all times so that we'll believe that we'll be safe if our ride suddenly disappears underneath us."
His minimum requirements stated, Rodney begins to build from the ground up, drawing on a day spent at the Marin County Fair, celebrating John's promotion to full bird colonel. The Ferris wheel had been almost one hundred feet high with covered gondolas and had sparkled with lights that night under the stars. When they had paired off for the ride, John had ended up alone in the gondola just ahead of Rodney and Jennifer, and Rodney finally understands why he's always remembered feeling sad seeing John's isolation and not how it had felt kissing Jennifer at the top.
"Cool." John bounces twice on his heels and then tugs Rodney toward the gondola at the base with its door open and waiting. The ride starts automatically, after they settle inside with the restraint in place, and it rises slowly and smoothly without interruption, since they're the only passengers. At the apex, it stops and swings gently, the white top of the gondola changing to transparent as the sky darkens into starry night. Rodney watches for John's reactions, smiling as John settles back against the seat with a pleased-sounding sigh and a soft-spoken, "When I was a kid, I used to hope that the people at the bottom would take a long time getting in and out."
"When you were a kid?" teases Rodney, grinning when he gets the patented John Sheppard 'ten-degree-head-tilt half-grin eyebrow-waggle' that says 'Yep, you got me there.'
John carefully switches hands, so that he can wrap his arm around Rodney's shoulders and pull him closer, and then murmurs, "Let's go around again." Another slow revolution under the stars later, they're at the top again with fireworks lighting the sky in glittering colors, and Rodney's eyes drift closed as John kisses him soft, wet, and deep.
When Rodney opens his eyes, four very large marines in bright orange hazmat suits are looming over them, and he can hear Radek and Jennifer discussing protocols in the background. Considering what they'd all walked in on, Rodney is very glad that he and John had decided their dating wouldn't be a secret, because it certainly wouldn't be one anymore.
~/~
"By time the room was breached, the effects were already dissipating, leaving only trace amounts for analysis. It appears that the drug you were exposed to has psychomimetic qualities that include increased glutamate release in layers four and five of the cerebral cortex and activation of DARPP-32-related pathways, which is known to alter sensory perception."
Perched on the side of a bed in the infirmary, Rodney glances toward John, who's sitting next to him, just in time to catch a pronounced eyeroll at Jennifer's explanation. Exercising what he considers remarkable willpower, Rodney forces himself not to repeat the action before asking in a tone that he thinks is only mildly sarcastic, "And all of that means what exactly? Are we going to end up drooling idiots sharing crayons and talking about the pretty colors on the walls?" When he sees Jennifer's frown, Rodney realizes she's unhappy with the level of sarcasm, and he apologizes because he hasn't forgotten everything he'd learned from her while they were together. "Sorry, the whole hallucination thing, you know how I get…."
"Yeah, I do. Basically, you both received a low dosage of something similar to LSD which, from your blood tests, has already cleared your systems." Jennifer glances down to where Rodney is still holding on to John's hand because he wasn't quite ready to test whether they were really out of the room or not. Taking a deep breath, he squeezes John's hand and feels a squeeze in return, and then he slowly releases it and feels cool air against his slightly sweaty palm. Nothing changes around him; they're both still in the infirmary with Jennifer standing in front of them wearing an indulgent smile.
John bumps shoulders with Rodney, scrubs his hands together, and asks in a hopeful voice, "So, we free to get out of here, Doc?"
"Well, presuming your latest scan comes back clear, and that you'll tell me if you see or hear anything unusual…." She narrows her eyes and frowns at both of them.
"Of course we will," John quickly assures her, while Rodney takes the safer route and just nods.
"…I'll release you, but I don't want either one of you doing any work until I clear you tomorrow morning. Got it?" Jennifer glances over her shoulder at the head nurse, who's standing nearby, to ask, "Marie, why don't you go ahead and run our fearless military commander through the scanner and check the results before he leaves?" Turning back to them, she grins and teases, "This time without Rodney holding on."
Rodney's smile back at her is less than heartfelt. "Ha. Ha. Very amusing."
John claps his hands on his knees and declares, "Okay, then I'm out of here after that, because I need to check in with Lorne." Before Jennifer can object, he raises his hand and says, "Not working, I promise, just a quick report." Hopping off the bed in order to follow Marie to the scanner, he turns to Rodney with a shy smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "Catch you at your room in an hour or so for dinner?" When Rodney nods, John walks away without looking back, and Rodney's left there with his ex-girlfriend, feeling a little awkward.
She hops up on the bed to sit next to him and nudges him with a shoulder. "So, are we going to see you two at the movie tonight?"
"Probably. We rarely miss one unless there's a life-or-death situation, which come to think of it, has happened more than once. You know, I still haven't seen the end of 'The Sixth Sense,' although someone spoiled it for me years ago…."
"Rodney…."
The patient tone of Jennifer's interruption forces Rodney to turn his head and smile sheepishly at her. Seeing the gentle interest in her eyes, he considers for a moment, and then blurts out, "We're still friends, right?"
"Sure we are." There's a little frown between her eyes as she leans back to look him over. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine, really." He grabs her hand before she can use her light pen to check his eyes. "I just wanted to ask…uh…why did we break up?"
Jennifer shakes her head in obvious bafflement and says a little irritably, "Rodney, it's been almost eight months, I've been going out with Marie for the last three, and now you're asking?"
"Hunh. In a way, I guess that sort of answers my question, doesn't it?" Rodney pauses, not ready to concede that their problem had simply been him not knowing when and what to say. Frowning, he tries again. "Well, not really. I mean, I know why I…." He hopes Jennifer can still interpret his hand waving as well as she used to, because he's always felt less than articulate when it came to talking about something as subjective as feelings. "…but you?"
Before she can answer, Marie walks back into the examining room holding a tablet. "Jennifer? Here are the scan results. They look good, so I let the colonel leave."
"Great, then Rodney's up next." Jennifer slips back off the bed, takes the tablet for a quick check, and then hands it back with a smile. "I concur, looks perfectly normal." Nodding toward the door, she says, "We'll be out in a minute," and then waits for Marie to leave before turning back to Rodney. She tips her head a little and looks at him for a few moments before finally replying to his question. "There were a lot of little reasons, I suppose. The important one, for me, was that you and I…we weren't what the other one needed."
Rodney mulls over her answer and lets it settle into place, then smiles. "Thank you. You're absolutely…right."
~/~
John's waiting outside Rodney's room when he finally makes it back from his lab, where Rodney had actually resorted to threats in order to wrestle a certain data set away from Radek. "Hey, buddy, where've you been? If we don't hurry and grab dinner, all the good seats will be gone for the movie."
"I'm not really hungry right now, and I'm not interested in watching a movie tonight." Rodney opens the door and almost impatiently waves John inside. The door's still sliding closed when Rodney takes the lead, one of the few times since they'd become something more than just friends, and pushes John against the wall, kissing and touching him until he's panting and moaning Rodney's name.
When Rodney fumbles at John's belt, John pushes him back far enough to ask, "Fuck, Rodney…are you…are you sure?"
Rodney knows he's responsible for most of John's uncertainty, but he also knows they've both waited long enough. When they first talked about being together, John had admitted that he hadn't been with another man since he'd joined the Air Force, while the last for Rodney had been a few months after he'd started working for the American military complex. The outdated rules of the UMCJ had only been part of the reason for John, and he'd told Rodney that if DADT had still been in place, he would have ignored it to be with Rodney after they'd finally taken the first step.
Slowing his hands, Rodney presses several soft kisses along John's jaw and insists, "I'm very, very sure, John." He backs toward his bed with a finger hooked in one of John's belt loops, much more patient with John's slow comprehension than he normally would be. "Now, can we get undressed and take full advantage of my nice prescription mattress?"
"Okay, yeah. I can do that." John finally gets with the program and kicks off his runners while unbuckling his belt, his grin widening as he watches Rodney follow suit, both of them losing their clothing without any further delay. When Rodney stretches out on the bed, John breathes out a quiet, "God, Rodney, you…," and joins him, rolling to his side and reaching out.
Neither one of them speaks as they learn what they've only felt through cloth barriers. Rodney grazes a nipple as his fingers slip through dark hair sprinkled with silver, making John shiver, and then he deliberately does it again, earning a rough kiss. A few of the calluses on John's hands scrape tender skin, but Rodney doesn't mind. He's too busy weighing and measuring and not finding anything wanting for all the waiting.
Of course, all that waiting means that neither has the patience to extend it any longer. Side-by-side, pressed together, they're holding hands again, although not the same as they had in the room. This time they wrap tightly around smooth heat, fingertips entwined, not letting go when slick warmth spills over, moving together until they can't take anymore.
A quick cleanup later, John's back is against Rodney's chest, his head pillowed on Rodney's arm while Rodney gently strokes the soft skin beneath his ribs. They're quiet for a while and Rodney begins to drift off, but then John surprises him with a murmured, "What changed?"
"It was what happened today." Rodney nuzzles the back of John's neck, and then ends up sidetracked by something he had meant to tell John earlier. "Oh, I forgot to mention that I went through the download from the console and checked the findings from our little adventure."
"Findings?"
"According to the notes that would have been helpful to have before we walked in, the room was set up to test, for lack of a better term, compatibility." Rodney shrugs, because, in the end, it hadn't really mattered to him. "It seems that according to their criteria, we passed."
John stiffens against Rodney and starts to pull away. "So, you're telling me…we finally did this because some machine convinced you…."
"No!" Realizing John had jumped ahead to the wrong conclusion, Rodney holds tight and tries to clear up the misunderstanding. "No, I'd pretty much already decided before they pulled us out of the room, then I talked to Jennifer and that's when I knew."
When John shifts again, Rodney loosens his hold, hoping John is willing to listen, and relief floods through him when John doesn't leave, but rolls over to face him. Thankful for the reprieve, Rodney hurries to finish. "What happened in that room, that stupid test, it only confirmed what I've known for years, even if I didn't realize what it meant until now."
Rodney can still feel the tension in the muscles under his hands as John asks, "You mean that you…and me…."
"Yes, exactly." Rodney raises a slightly shaky hand to John's face and asks worriedly, "So, we’re ... we’re good, right?"
Finally relaxing into Rodney, John answers with a smile, a soft kiss, and a whispered, "Of course."
**
Poll
Author: danceswithgary
Team: Play
Prompt: acid test
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Rodney McKay and John Sheppard as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and MGM Television/Sony Pictures Television/Associated Production Companies. Any deviation (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.
Notes: Many thanks to my beta, (name withheld until reveal). Any remaining mistakes are all mine. Feedback is both welcome and appreciated.
Summary: John had refused to allow Rodney go exploring without him, which Rodney hadn't really minded, at least not until they'd both ended up stuck inside a room with no exit.
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**
Whereupon he got very
clumsy, giggled confidentially,
and tripped over her shadow,
carrying them both into
an unaccountable adventure.
Thomas Wolfe, "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test"
"You would think after six or so years of doing this, you'd have learned not to touch things before I say it's okay."
"Hey, I walked in here, I said 'What do you think they used this for?' then you walked in and the door closed."
"Well, you must have done something with that overactive gene of yours."
"Look around, Rodney. There's nothing in here that I can touch, and I sure as hell wasn't thinking 'on' at the walls."
Rodney doesn't need to look. He'd immediately noticed the complete lack of any equipment, or even furniture, after John had called him into what appears to be a 16-foot cube off the main lab area. The main problem they're facing is the door he'd walked through less than a minute ago, the same one that's now missing. His laptop is connected to the console located approximately six feet away, outside the room, so that's zero help. With a sigh, Rodney gives in to the inevitable and grumbles, "Go ahead. Think 'open' and that's all."
"What do think I've been doing?" John walks over to the wall where a door once existed and passes his hand over the seamless wall. "I got nothing." He presses against a few spots and shakes his head. "Weird, it's almost like it's…padded." He bounces in place a few times and announces, "Floor, too."
Rodney joins John at the wall to verify his findings then looks up at the featureless ceiling, which is emitting diffused light. "Not getting out up there."
"Not even if I stand on your shoulders," John agrees. He pulls his knife and attempts to cut into the gray covering, but it just skids along the surface without leaving a mark. "Hunh. Not as soft as it feels."
The impervious wall deflects a second blow, one that's hard enough that John bumps into Rodney, who then scowls at John and says irritably, "Obviously, channeling Ronon is not the way to go. Neither one of us needs any more scars. Can we just take it as a given that shooting at it will only endanger us?"
With a nod, John tucks his knife away, and then taps his radio. "Teldy, Kemp, come in." After a few moments, he frowns and taps again. "Control Room, this is Sheppard." A third try, "This is Colonel Sheppard. Is anyone picking this up?" and he shakes his head. "Nothing. Must be some sort of shielding in here."
"Oh, this is not good and totally not fair." While patting down his tac vest in a futile effort to find something useful for the situation, Rodney continues his complaining. "This was supposed to be a nice little break."
AT-1 had been on stand-down for almost two weeks, while Teyla was collaborating with Woolsey on several new treaties. Restless after too many days confined to the city, Ronon had chosen to visit the Satedan settlement on Belkan with Amelia and introduce her to some of their traditions. When the linguists had found references in the Ancient database to experiments not associated with ascension, weapons, or power generation, which should have equated to easy and possibly interesting, Rodney had decided joining the teams checking out the lower-level labs in the Western tower was the perfect opportunity to get out of his own lab. John had refused to allow Rodney go exploring without him, which Rodney hadn't really minded, at least not until they'd both ended up stuck inside a room with no exit.
Rodney can't help feeling a little resentment at John's laid-back attitude when John shrugs and leans against the wall, drawling, "Look, we'll be fine. One of the other teams will check in, find us missing, and call for help if they need it. Porter's good, so's Kusanagi. Worse case, they'll pull in Zelenka."
"Yes, yes, they're all competent enough, but you're presuming that it still looks like a door on the other side." His agitation growing, Rodney paces the perimeter of the room, pulling at the neck of his vest when the air starts feeling too thin. "See, this is what happens when a brilliant scientist gets bored. I should have just stayed in my lab waiting for my simulations to finish; that way I'd be out there solving the problem, instead of being stuck in here with you."
"Careful, I might just take that as an insult." John frowns as Rodney detours around him, but then the corner of John's mouth twitches, and Rodney suspects he's holding back one of his teasing grins. Rodney stops and reaches out in mute apology, even though he knows John isn't really offended.
John intercepts Rodney's hand to tug him close, and then he kisses Rodney, slow and sweet. With a sigh, Rodney relaxes against him, as much as the tac vests allow, and lets John lead. He's still not used to how easily he can touch John whenever he wants, and the thought sends a pleasant shiver down Rodney's spine as he rests his hands on John's hips. After a few minutes, Rodney hums and reluctantly pulls away to lean against the wall, his knees feeling distinctly wobbly, and says, "You know, I should be panicking right about now about air, food, and water, but I'm feeling surprisingly…calm."
John waggles his eyebrows and grins. "That I'll take as a compliment." He inches closer to Rodney, but he doesn't push for more, despite his evident arousal, and Rodney feels a twinge of guilt at the glacial speed he's insisted on since they'd decided to try dating. Still, after his failures with Katie and Jennifer, the last thing Rodney wants to do is screw up what he has with John and possibly lose his friendship if they get in too deep and it doesn't work out. Thankfully, John seems to be okay with just the kissing and touching they've added to their daily activities and is willing to wait for Rodney to be ready for more.
Despite the distraction provided by John, Rodney needs to let him know he's feeling increasingly uncomfortable with each passing minute. "I'm starting to get chills and hot flashes. That can't be good." Glancing around at their surroundings, Rodney suddenly recalls one of the items Alison Porter had brought up in the teams' briefing. "The notes on these labs mentioned psychological testing, in addition to the imaging modules I was interested in." He waves at the walls. "It is a padded room. It's entirely possible we're being drugged."
"I think you're just talking yourself into a mild panic attack." John backs up a little to give Rodney some more space, a mild look of concern on his face. "Maybe you should sit down and put your head between your knees for a few minutes."
"Oh, is that your expert diagnosis, Dr. Sheppard?" Rodney snaps back, irritated at John's easy dismissal of his concerns.
"Hey, you have to admit you get a little weird when you think a place is too…." John suddenly stops, jerks his head to the left, and half-turns. "Then again, maybe not."
Rodney turns to look, but doesn't see anything but gray walls. "What?"
"You didn't see that?" John slowly rotates to scan the entire room then suddenly backs up into Rodney, pressing him against the wall. "Whoa! What the hell?"
Peering over John's shoulder, Rodney still doesn't see anything, but his heart speeds up when John pulls his handgun and extends it with the safety off. "John, there's nothing here except you and me."
Rodney tries to slide away along the wall, but John reaches back to plant the hand not holding the gun against Rodney's chest, saying, "Don't move. This room must be some kind of transporter, but why would it send us to a cave instead of a different room in Atlantis?"
"You see a cave?" Worried about trying to calm down a hallucinating man holding a gun, Rodney touches the hand pressed against him and he suddenly sees shadowed rocky walls with moisture trickling down glowing patches of phosphorescent lichen. "With stalactites?"
John shrugs. "Are those the ones that go up or down? I can never remember."
"Down. Stalactites hold tight to the roof." To confirm his hypothesis, Rodney stops touching John's hand, and he's back in the innocuous gray room. "Huh. Doesn't matter, though, because we're not really in a cave."
Tension is in every line of John's body as he continues to scan the room with gun in hand. "Sure as hell looks like we are, Rodney."
"It has to be some sort of illusion. I can't see anything but the room unless I touch you." Rodney suits his actions to his words and clasps John's hand. "Okay, I can see the cave again. My best guess is drugs or technology, maybe both."
John squeezes Rodney's hand, but doesn't stop checking the room. "Why me and not you?"
Rodney thinks for a moment then offers a possible explanation. "It could be something like the mist planet or that Wraith EM generator on M1B-129. I didn't manipulate the mist visions like you did at your wild party, but I was the last one affected by the Wraith tech, except for Teyla." He scratches at his neck compulsively as he reminds John, "I told you before that smoking pot didn't do anything except make me itchy and hungry."
John glances over his shoulder to frown at Rodney. "Great. That's just great. Mitch and Dex, Holland, Kolya. That's all I need - to see more dead people."
Rodney points at John's gun, hoping they aren't going to end up revisiting Afghanistan. "Look, just…please don't shoot or stab or hit anything while we're in here." He almost regrets it when John turns to look at Rodney with remorse written all over his face, but Rodney can't ignore the danger to both of them. "It would be bad if it turns out to be me instead of whoever or whatever it is that you think you see."
"God, Rodney," John chokes out. "I wouldn't…I promise I won't hurt you again."
Rodney squeezes John's hand in mute apology, but still insists, "I know you wouldn't mean to, but I'll feel a lot safer if you put the gun away."
"Okay, sure. That makes sense. What could get to us in an empty room?" John suits his actions to his words, returning his gun to his holster, although Rodney understands why John doesn't secure the strap. Releasing Rodney's hand in order to feel his way to the wall, John turns and leans back against it with a sigh, stretching the tension from his neck. "All right. Now what?"
Rodney peers through a drenching rain at endless waves of glass-green water surrounding them and grabs for John's bicep. When the scene in front of him doesn't change, Rodney slides his hand down until he's touching the skin of John's forearm and staring at the creepy dark cave again. "We, uh, don't let go of each other until this is over."
"Rodney?" There's a distinctly worried tone in John's voice, as he turns and takes Rodney's hand, and then laces their fingers together. "What's going on?"
"I think I like your hallucination better." Rodney turns toward John's dimly lit face and tries to smile. "I'm not sure why I'm seeing yours when we're touching, instead of the other way around, but it's really okay because I'd rather not get eaten by a whale again."
"A whale, huh?" John agrees with a sickly-looking smile. "Yeah, that wasn't fun." He looks around the cave again and then asks, "You think I could change this, like I did back on the mist planet?"
"You could try, just don't make it worse." Rodney waits for a minute or two, but nothing seems to change in their surroundings until he hears a sound that raises the hairs on the back of his neck. "I said 'don't make it worse'!"
John starts backing away along the wall from the chittering shadows on the ground, dragging Rodney around so he's behind John. "Fuck! I hate those damn things!"
He starts fumbling for his gun, but Rodney shouts, "No, John! You promised!"
John shouts back, "I'm not letting them near us, Rodney!" but he leaves the gun in the holster and continues to move back, trying to put more distance between them and the slowly advancing iratus bugs. Unfortunately, the dimensions of the room haven't changed, despite what they're seeing and hearing, and it isn't long before they're backing into a corner. "Okay, either you come up with something useful or it's the gun."
Although he's been thinking frantically, Rodney's been unable to arrive at a solution that doesn't require access to technology he can't reach. Tucked behind John, he's almost reached the point of closing his eyes and chanting, "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real," when he hears a different sound, a low growling whine he hasn't heard in years.
"What the hell?" John's baffled exclamation has Rodney peering over his shoulder in time to see a furry paw the size of a dinner plate flatten one of the bugs, while another bug crunches like kibble between sharp teeth. "Is that…?"
"My cat," Rodney breathes out in disbelief. "A really, really big version of Isaac. I was just thinking how he loved catching and eating insects. I never had any spiders or palmetto bugs in my apartment."
It only takes a minute or two for Rodney's giant pet to crunch his way through his movable feast and then take his leave in a Cheshire-style exit. His legs wobbly with relief, Rodney leans his head against John's shoulder and laughs a little shakily. "Did I ever tell you how much I miss that cat?"
John turns around and tugs Rodney into a quick hug. "The picture on your nightstand was a big hint." He shifts to the side to lean against the wall next to Rodney and lets his head drop back with a dull thud. "So it looks like you can change things in here too."
"Um, yes?" Rodney looks around the cavern and mutters, "I'd really like to not be in a small dark place, but I'm also not really sure I want to try anything else. I've never been fond of the frying pan or fire and rock or hard place options."
"I hear you, buddy." John rubs his neck with his free hand and then puffs out a long breath. "I think maybe I've got a handle on this, so let me try again." Before Rodney can object, John begins murmuring, "Clear blue skies, clear blue skies, clear blue skies…" The walls of the cave gradually melt away under the brilliant rays of a midday sun, and then they're standing on the crest of a grassy knoll at the edge of a coniferous forest, overlooking a rolling plain. John flashes a grin at Rodney. "Told you I was getting the hang of it."
Rodney takes a few steps forward and sinks to the ground with a relieved sigh, dragging John down to sit beside him. "I know that this is all in our heads, but it's easier to deal with outside." Starting to feel overheated, he swipes his face against his upper arm to mop up some of the sweat trickling down it. "I'm getting kind of warm under this fake sun."
John chuckles and agrees, as he uses his free hand to brush back the hair that's sticking to his forehead. "Yeah, but at least you don't really need any sunscreen. Or bug spray." John eases the zipper of his tac vest halfway down and points to Rodney's until he does the same, then they shift so that they're sitting back-to-back and can see in all directions while still holding hands. It isn't long before a rustling in the trees to the side of them catches their attention, and then John groans and scrambles back to his feet, tugging Rodney up with him. "Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."
Rodney can't decide if he should laugh or run when he sees what's clomping toward them. Bushy orange hair, red noses, bright greasepaint, outsized shoes, and baggy striped pants could only do so much to disguise the three Wraith advancing across the grass. John's hand twitches toward his gun, but a hissed, "No gun, remember?" short-circuits his move. Rodney starts to take a step back, but then he lifts his chin in determination and says, "It can't be too hard to get rid of these jokers."
John chokes a little at Rodney's assertion and starts forward to place himself in harm's way, but then stops dead when personal-sized thunderheads, complete with little flashes of lightning, form a few feet above the evil clowns' heads. Rodney chuckles and waves his hand, and an extremely localized rainstorm begins to flatten the frightening hair and wash away the gaudy makeup. The three disheveled Wraith look up in dismay and then run for the shelter of the trees but, before they can reach a safe haven, lightning strikes and they fall to the ground with little puffs of steam rising from their bodies. Less than a minute later, nothing's left of them, all evidence dissolving into the grass quickly as the clouds dissipated.
John's eyebrows eloquently convey his surprise and disbelief when Rodney turns to him with an irrepressible grin. "Okay, that was…weird."
With a shrug and a brief flush of embarrassment, Rodney dismisses the surreal battle. "Granted it wasn't a scientifically sound solution, but it worked without risking any extraneous holes in you or me."
Pointing to the spot where the Wraith had vanished, John laughs. "Got to say I never would have thought of a 'Wizard of Oz' solution."
"Well, we usually take turns and fill in what's missing for each other. That's why we work so well together."
John turns his head to look at Rodney, grins and squeezes Rodney's hand. "Yeah, buddy, we sure do." He licks his lips and starts leaning towards Rodney, but there's a stirring in the grass where the Wraith melted, and they both step back warily. Green shoots suddenly appear, their growth so accelerated that, within a minute, there are flowers opening under the imaginary sun. John chuckles and walks over to them, tugging Rodney along with him. "Hey, daisies! My favorites!"
"Your favorites," Rodney echoes softly. "You told me that when we were walking through a field, right before…."
"…we found the Genii's not-so-secret hatch." John tips his head a little as he looks at Rodney, his eyes alight with pleased surprise. "You remembered."
Rodney nods and returns the smile because John doesn't know it, but Rodney remembers everything he's ever learned about John since the first day they met. John hates mushrooms and loves Kataran honeycakes, rarely laces his size-12 boots more than halfway up and doesn't wear socks with his running shoes, insists Eartha Kitt was the best Catwoman, worships Evel Knievel, prefers to sleep on his left side, and carries a silver dollar and an epi-pen in the upper left pocket of his tac vest. His mental listing could go on and on but before Rodney can reveal how much he knows, there's a low buzzing in the vicinity of the flowers. When he spots the bees, Rodney's breathing begins to accelerate. "John…."
"Crap." John begins to push Rodney back, putting himself between Rodney and the tiny striped menaces, but then he stops and turns to face Rodney with a smile. "Wait. This one's mine." He raises his hand to display a small device that he hooks onto his vest. The moment it attaches, the unforgettable pale-green sizzle of a personal shield surrounds the two of them, a single shield that they're sharing.
Rodney watches as the shield repels a wandering bee with a green zap and nods, once again impressed by John's quick thinking. "That works much better than the giant can of insecticide I was ready to conjure up, which probably would have choked me to death with poisonous fumes."
"Or I could have just done this." John laughs and waves his hand and the flowers disappear, taking the bees with them. "I just thought a shield would be cooler."
Rodney huffs a relieved laugh and then makes a suggestion. "While I realize there's probably some kind of drug involved, because I'm still not feeling nearly as panicky as I normally would in a situation where we're trapped in a small room and sharing hallucinations, but I'm still going to suggest that we both try to relax and enjoy this. You know, kick back and think nice non-lethal thoughts until we get out of here."
"Right. Relax." John rubs the back of his neck and grimaces a little as he considers options. "A beach would be great."
"Sun and sand and too hot and I really think it's a bad idea taking any clothes off out here." Rodney frowns and tries again. "In here. The room we're stuck inside that we can't see."
John's eyes widen and he instantly agrees. "Yeah, not when my marines are going to come crashing in here any minute now," After scanning the area around them, he casually repeats, "Marines." He looks up and whistles tunelessly, waiting a few seconds before adding, "Crashing in. Any minute. Now." When nothing happens, he ducks his head and smiles a little sheepishly at Rodney. "It was worth a shot."
"You do realize we have no idea how much time has elapsed since we walked in here?" Rodney frowns at his watch, which seems to indicate approximately twenty minutes have gone by. "It could be longer or shorter with our altered perceptions."
"Not much we can do about that." John shrugs and shifts a little restlessly. "I hate just standing here waiting. If it was just me in here…."
Rodney doesn't wait very long before asking a little impatiently, "What?"
"I was just thinking of the best day I ever had flying, back on Earth." John tips his head back to gaze up at the made-to-order clear blue sky. "I got lucky and had a chance to take a P-51 Mustang up." Rolling his head toward Rodney, John pouts a little as he shakes their clasped hands. "No seat for a co-pilot, though."
"I suppose you could try one of your helicopters, although I'm not sure how I feel about moving aboveground at speed, even if it isn't real." When John shakes his head, Rodney thinks for a few moments and comes up with something his 'the laws of physics cannot simply be ignored' brain can more easily accept. "Okay, I have an idea, but we'll need to sit again. Oh, and you're in charge of keeping the shield on us at all times so that we'll believe that we'll be safe if our ride suddenly disappears underneath us."
His minimum requirements stated, Rodney begins to build from the ground up, drawing on a day spent at the Marin County Fair, celebrating John's promotion to full bird colonel. The Ferris wheel had been almost one hundred feet high with covered gondolas and had sparkled with lights that night under the stars. When they had paired off for the ride, John had ended up alone in the gondola just ahead of Rodney and Jennifer, and Rodney finally understands why he's always remembered feeling sad seeing John's isolation and not how it had felt kissing Jennifer at the top.
"Cool." John bounces twice on his heels and then tugs Rodney toward the gondola at the base with its door open and waiting. The ride starts automatically, after they settle inside with the restraint in place, and it rises slowly and smoothly without interruption, since they're the only passengers. At the apex, it stops and swings gently, the white top of the gondola changing to transparent as the sky darkens into starry night. Rodney watches for John's reactions, smiling as John settles back against the seat with a pleased-sounding sigh and a soft-spoken, "When I was a kid, I used to hope that the people at the bottom would take a long time getting in and out."
"When you were a kid?" teases Rodney, grinning when he gets the patented John Sheppard 'ten-degree-head-tilt half-grin eyebrow-waggle' that says 'Yep, you got me there.'
John carefully switches hands, so that he can wrap his arm around Rodney's shoulders and pull him closer, and then murmurs, "Let's go around again." Another slow revolution under the stars later, they're at the top again with fireworks lighting the sky in glittering colors, and Rodney's eyes drift closed as John kisses him soft, wet, and deep.
When Rodney opens his eyes, four very large marines in bright orange hazmat suits are looming over them, and he can hear Radek and Jennifer discussing protocols in the background. Considering what they'd all walked in on, Rodney is very glad that he and John had decided their dating wouldn't be a secret, because it certainly wouldn't be one anymore.
~/~
"By time the room was breached, the effects were already dissipating, leaving only trace amounts for analysis. It appears that the drug you were exposed to has psychomimetic qualities that include increased glutamate release in layers four and five of the cerebral cortex and activation of DARPP-32-related pathways, which is known to alter sensory perception."
Perched on the side of a bed in the infirmary, Rodney glances toward John, who's sitting next to him, just in time to catch a pronounced eyeroll at Jennifer's explanation. Exercising what he considers remarkable willpower, Rodney forces himself not to repeat the action before asking in a tone that he thinks is only mildly sarcastic, "And all of that means what exactly? Are we going to end up drooling idiots sharing crayons and talking about the pretty colors on the walls?" When he sees Jennifer's frown, Rodney realizes she's unhappy with the level of sarcasm, and he apologizes because he hasn't forgotten everything he'd learned from her while they were together. "Sorry, the whole hallucination thing, you know how I get…."
"Yeah, I do. Basically, you both received a low dosage of something similar to LSD which, from your blood tests, has already cleared your systems." Jennifer glances down to where Rodney is still holding on to John's hand because he wasn't quite ready to test whether they were really out of the room or not. Taking a deep breath, he squeezes John's hand and feels a squeeze in return, and then he slowly releases it and feels cool air against his slightly sweaty palm. Nothing changes around him; they're both still in the infirmary with Jennifer standing in front of them wearing an indulgent smile.
John bumps shoulders with Rodney, scrubs his hands together, and asks in a hopeful voice, "So, we free to get out of here, Doc?"
"Well, presuming your latest scan comes back clear, and that you'll tell me if you see or hear anything unusual…." She narrows her eyes and frowns at both of them.
"Of course we will," John quickly assures her, while Rodney takes the safer route and just nods.
"…I'll release you, but I don't want either one of you doing any work until I clear you tomorrow morning. Got it?" Jennifer glances over her shoulder at the head nurse, who's standing nearby, to ask, "Marie, why don't you go ahead and run our fearless military commander through the scanner and check the results before he leaves?" Turning back to them, she grins and teases, "This time without Rodney holding on."
Rodney's smile back at her is less than heartfelt. "Ha. Ha. Very amusing."
John claps his hands on his knees and declares, "Okay, then I'm out of here after that, because I need to check in with Lorne." Before Jennifer can object, he raises his hand and says, "Not working, I promise, just a quick report." Hopping off the bed in order to follow Marie to the scanner, he turns to Rodney with a shy smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "Catch you at your room in an hour or so for dinner?" When Rodney nods, John walks away without looking back, and Rodney's left there with his ex-girlfriend, feeling a little awkward.
She hops up on the bed to sit next to him and nudges him with a shoulder. "So, are we going to see you two at the movie tonight?"
"Probably. We rarely miss one unless there's a life-or-death situation, which come to think of it, has happened more than once. You know, I still haven't seen the end of 'The Sixth Sense,' although someone spoiled it for me years ago…."
"Rodney…."
The patient tone of Jennifer's interruption forces Rodney to turn his head and smile sheepishly at her. Seeing the gentle interest in her eyes, he considers for a moment, and then blurts out, "We're still friends, right?"
"Sure we are." There's a little frown between her eyes as she leans back to look him over. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine, really." He grabs her hand before she can use her light pen to check his eyes. "I just wanted to ask…uh…why did we break up?"
Jennifer shakes her head in obvious bafflement and says a little irritably, "Rodney, it's been almost eight months, I've been going out with Marie for the last three, and now you're asking?"
"Hunh. In a way, I guess that sort of answers my question, doesn't it?" Rodney pauses, not ready to concede that their problem had simply been him not knowing when and what to say. Frowning, he tries again. "Well, not really. I mean, I know why I…." He hopes Jennifer can still interpret his hand waving as well as she used to, because he's always felt less than articulate when it came to talking about something as subjective as feelings. "…but you?"
Before she can answer, Marie walks back into the examining room holding a tablet. "Jennifer? Here are the scan results. They look good, so I let the colonel leave."
"Great, then Rodney's up next." Jennifer slips back off the bed, takes the tablet for a quick check, and then hands it back with a smile. "I concur, looks perfectly normal." Nodding toward the door, she says, "We'll be out in a minute," and then waits for Marie to leave before turning back to Rodney. She tips her head a little and looks at him for a few moments before finally replying to his question. "There were a lot of little reasons, I suppose. The important one, for me, was that you and I…we weren't what the other one needed."
Rodney mulls over her answer and lets it settle into place, then smiles. "Thank you. You're absolutely…right."
~/~
John's waiting outside Rodney's room when he finally makes it back from his lab, where Rodney had actually resorted to threats in order to wrestle a certain data set away from Radek. "Hey, buddy, where've you been? If we don't hurry and grab dinner, all the good seats will be gone for the movie."
"I'm not really hungry right now, and I'm not interested in watching a movie tonight." Rodney opens the door and almost impatiently waves John inside. The door's still sliding closed when Rodney takes the lead, one of the few times since they'd become something more than just friends, and pushes John against the wall, kissing and touching him until he's panting and moaning Rodney's name.
When Rodney fumbles at John's belt, John pushes him back far enough to ask, "Fuck, Rodney…are you…are you sure?"
Rodney knows he's responsible for most of John's uncertainty, but he also knows they've both waited long enough. When they first talked about being together, John had admitted that he hadn't been with another man since he'd joined the Air Force, while the last for Rodney had been a few months after he'd started working for the American military complex. The outdated rules of the UMCJ had only been part of the reason for John, and he'd told Rodney that if DADT had still been in place, he would have ignored it to be with Rodney after they'd finally taken the first step.
Slowing his hands, Rodney presses several soft kisses along John's jaw and insists, "I'm very, very sure, John." He backs toward his bed with a finger hooked in one of John's belt loops, much more patient with John's slow comprehension than he normally would be. "Now, can we get undressed and take full advantage of my nice prescription mattress?"
"Okay, yeah. I can do that." John finally gets with the program and kicks off his runners while unbuckling his belt, his grin widening as he watches Rodney follow suit, both of them losing their clothing without any further delay. When Rodney stretches out on the bed, John breathes out a quiet, "God, Rodney, you…," and joins him, rolling to his side and reaching out.
Neither one of them speaks as they learn what they've only felt through cloth barriers. Rodney grazes a nipple as his fingers slip through dark hair sprinkled with silver, making John shiver, and then he deliberately does it again, earning a rough kiss. A few of the calluses on John's hands scrape tender skin, but Rodney doesn't mind. He's too busy weighing and measuring and not finding anything wanting for all the waiting.
Of course, all that waiting means that neither has the patience to extend it any longer. Side-by-side, pressed together, they're holding hands again, although not the same as they had in the room. This time they wrap tightly around smooth heat, fingertips entwined, not letting go when slick warmth spills over, moving together until they can't take anymore.
A quick cleanup later, John's back is against Rodney's chest, his head pillowed on Rodney's arm while Rodney gently strokes the soft skin beneath his ribs. They're quiet for a while and Rodney begins to drift off, but then John surprises him with a murmured, "What changed?"
"It was what happened today." Rodney nuzzles the back of John's neck, and then ends up sidetracked by something he had meant to tell John earlier. "Oh, I forgot to mention that I went through the download from the console and checked the findings from our little adventure."
"Findings?"
"According to the notes that would have been helpful to have before we walked in, the room was set up to test, for lack of a better term, compatibility." Rodney shrugs, because, in the end, it hadn't really mattered to him. "It seems that according to their criteria, we passed."
John stiffens against Rodney and starts to pull away. "So, you're telling me…we finally did this because some machine convinced you…."
"No!" Realizing John had jumped ahead to the wrong conclusion, Rodney holds tight and tries to clear up the misunderstanding. "No, I'd pretty much already decided before they pulled us out of the room, then I talked to Jennifer and that's when I knew."
When John shifts again, Rodney loosens his hold, hoping John is willing to listen, and relief floods through him when John doesn't leave, but rolls over to face him. Thankful for the reprieve, Rodney hurries to finish. "What happened in that room, that stupid test, it only confirmed what I've known for years, even if I didn't realize what it meant until now."
Rodney can still feel the tension in the muscles under his hands as John asks, "You mean that you…and me…."
"Yes, exactly." Rodney raises a slightly shaky hand to John's face and asks worriedly, "So, we’re ... we’re good, right?"
Finally relaxing into Rodney, John answers with a smile, a soft kiss, and a whispered, "Of course."
**
Poll