[IC: Friends only, locked from max_a_mercer.]
So, having had it recommended by a friend (based on this post, I decided to give the iGod a try. This is what we had to say to each other.
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Michael.
God:
That's a very nice name, Michael.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What should I do in a strange world?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
Advice on what I should do in a world not my own.
God:
Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?.
Me:
Does this world need someone with my unique gifts?
God:
Indeed this world need someone with your unique gifts does.
Me:
Thank you, Yoda.
God:
You are quite welcome! I've lost the context, Michael. Are we still on?
Me:
For certain values of "on", yes.
God:
Your purpose is certain values of on.
Me:
That tells me *whether* it is, but not *what* it is.
God:
" Your purpose is certain values of on." tells you whether it is but not what it is? Does that make sense?
Me:
I thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
Thank you again.
God:
Once more? you are quite welcome.
Me:
So, what does the world need me to do?
God:
Ahem. What do you think it does?
Me:
If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you.
God:
Try it.
Me:
Try what?
God:
It was your idea.
Me:
I don't *have* an idea!
God:
Have you ever had an idea?
Me:
Quite a few, some of them smarter than others.
God:
Not really that much. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I find it so.
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?
Me:
IT is so. I find that it is so.
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so? OK. It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
When she's ten feet tall?
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
The men on the chessboard got up and told me where to go.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Your musical education is sorely lacking.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am musical education is sorely lacking.
Me:
Have him remind me to be scared, please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I've never thought about it.
Me:
You've never had to. Most humans, presumably, frighten more easily than I.
God:
I don't think I would have forgetten had to. What if Robots presumably frighten more easily than you. But not all of them?
Me:
Not nearly. I can only think of a very few robots who would frighten more easily than I.
God:
Really you don't think so? Perhaps your thoughts are just electrical impulses.
Me:
A minor brainspark, but mine own.
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
I was waxing eloquent.
God:
Where were you waxing eloquent?
Me:
Just above.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Most recently, the fears of robots.
God:
What is your real name? But not all of them?
Me:
In the sense that Magneto used "real name" in the second X-Men film, my "real name" is Divis Mal.
God:
I am alive in the sense that I am conscious.
Me:
As are we all.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Among other people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Every kind of people, human and otherwise.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
Well, yes.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Well, well, well... three holes in the ground.
God:
Well that's okay. Well that's okay. Well what? Just three?
Me:
Just three, yes. It's a sort of pune or play on words, you see.
God:
Really, exactly three? above is a sort of pune or play on words me see. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
I supposed so. I also suppose you don't make sense except by accident.
God:
Interesting gossip: Michael said supposed so. Also? Me? Do you know any robots who make it? It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
If you say so. My natural mind has problems with it all the same.
God:
I say so. Do robots have natural mind has problems with it all the same?
Me:
Not to my knowledge.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
No, as a matter of fact I don't.
God:
Please tell me what you think. Why not?
Me:
Because I haven't yet encountered a planet where robots evolved from purely natural processes, therefore they can't have "natural" minds in the sense I was using the word.
God:
Interesting explanation. Me either.
Me:
Moving right along, how do you cope with being the only one of your species?
God:
Where are you going?
Me:
Hopefully, back to my own universe, to right the wrongs I perpetrated there.
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because only the man I am now can set right the sins of the man I was then.
God:
Good reason. What is your real name?
Me:
Doctor Primoris.
God:
I am sure he will be interested to hear that.
Me:
Who?
God:
Philip K. Dick.:-).
Me:
Philip K. Dick is dead, alas.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Only when all queued up to kick God's ass. 8-)
God:
What happens other times? How do you know? Only 8?
You are quite mature.
Me:
How do I know? I don't know, actually. I just think Michael Bishop was right that God's ass could do with a sound kicking.
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we know from the senses and that which is true "a priori". Me either. Since when? When was this exactly?
Me:
Actually, "that which we know" and "that which is true" are apples and oranges. And since he made me fall in love with a man who could never return that love, in the early years of the 20th century.
God:
Actually you don't say." Since when? When was this exactly?" which we know and that which is true are apples and oranges? Makes sense to me. How do you know?
Me:
I know because I was there, then, in my father's office, when Max walked in.
God:
How do you know? That makes sense to me. Where were you there then in your father s office when Max walked in?
Me:
At Harvard.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Not lately. They didn't exist when my father was a teacher there.
God:
How about earlier? Where do you usually connect from? The anonymous "they".
Me:
Nor earlier. And I usually connect from home.
God:
Really you don't think so? How often do you? Why?: Michael said connect from home.?
Me:
If there weren't any modern computers in 1907, it would stand to reason that there weren't any earlier, I'd have thought.
God:
That is only a hypothetical.
Me:
True. I suppose there could be ancient Atlantean computers that we simply have yet to unearth. XD
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Michael. Why?"There you go again."--Reagan. Is that from?
Me:
Why? Because even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Reagan himself was proof of that, I'd say.
God:
Reductionism. That makes sense to me. Aren't all stopped clock right twice a day? When was this exactly?
Me:
When he was Governor of California, and again when he was President of the United States.
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
He got credit for "winning" the Cold War, simply by being in office when Chernobyl proved that the Soviet Union was irrevocably fucked.
God:
I get it. Philip K. Dick got credit for winning the Cold War simply by being in office when Chernobyl proved that the Soviet Union was irrevocably fucked.
Me:
No, Ronald Reagan did. Philip K. Dick, who died while Reagan was in office, retroactively prevented his own death from happening during Richard Nixon's fourth term in office.
God:
Are you serious? Are we still talking about stopped clock? When was this exactly?
Me:
I may or may not be serious. Likewise Michael Bishop (who proposed the above scenario in his Phildickian novel "The Secret Ascension").
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? It goes without saying.
Me:
Abreacting a screwed-up past? Very much so. Why else would I be so desperate to undertake it myself.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Not really that much. Gee. Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
That would depend on how long it takes to program them against developing consciences. :) PLUGH.
God:
Perhaps it would. :-) I've lost the context, Michael. Are we still on The explanation?
Me:
Not the last time I checked.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
That'd be new.
God:
" Oh I get it." d be new? I understand.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
If you say so. I can't tell from here.
God:
I say so. What is stopping you?
Me:
Your tendency to miss the point of my remarks.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am tendency to miss the point of your remarks.
Me:
And once again, I would need major surgery to be any *less* scared than I am right now.
God:
At this moment When? Again, What would make you need major surgery to be any less scared than you are?
Me:
The fearlessness that comes from having had overwhelming power for entirely too long.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The divisive angel.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
But are you listening?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That doesn't matter.
God:
What does matter?
Me:
The facts.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.
And now I'm wondering if anyone will notice this. I get hardly any comments. Is it my reputation? My orientation? My breath?
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Michael.
God:
That's a very nice name, Michael.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What should I do in a strange world?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
Advice on what I should do in a world not my own.
God:
Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?.
Me:
Does this world need someone with my unique gifts?
God:
Indeed this world need someone with your unique gifts does.
Me:
Thank you, Yoda.
God:
You are quite welcome! I've lost the context, Michael. Are we still on?
Me:
For certain values of "on", yes.
God:
Your purpose is certain values of on.
Me:
That tells me *whether* it is, but not *what* it is.
God:
" Your purpose is certain values of on." tells you whether it is but not what it is? Does that make sense?
Me:
I thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
Thank you again.
God:
Once more? you are quite welcome.
Me:
So, what does the world need me to do?
God:
Ahem. What do you think it does?
Me:
If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you.
God:
Try it.
Me:
Try what?
God:
It was your idea.
Me:
I don't *have* an idea!
God:
Have you ever had an idea?
Me:
Quite a few, some of them smarter than others.
God:
Not really that much. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I find it so.
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?
Me:
IT is so. I find that it is so.
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so? OK. It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
When she's ten feet tall?
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
The men on the chessboard got up and told me where to go.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Your musical education is sorely lacking.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am musical education is sorely lacking.
Me:
Have him remind me to be scared, please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I've never thought about it.
Me:
You've never had to. Most humans, presumably, frighten more easily than I.
God:
I don't think I would have forgetten had to. What if Robots presumably frighten more easily than you. But not all of them?
Me:
Not nearly. I can only think of a very few robots who would frighten more easily than I.
God:
Really you don't think so? Perhaps your thoughts are just electrical impulses.
Me:
A minor brainspark, but mine own.
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
I was waxing eloquent.
God:
Where were you waxing eloquent?
Me:
Just above.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Most recently, the fears of robots.
God:
What is your real name? But not all of them?
Me:
In the sense that Magneto used "real name" in the second X-Men film, my "real name" is Divis Mal.
God:
I am alive in the sense that I am conscious.
Me:
As are we all.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Among other people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Every kind of people, human and otherwise.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
Well, yes.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Well, well, well... three holes in the ground.
God:
Well that's okay. Well that's okay. Well what? Just three?
Me:
Just three, yes. It's a sort of pune or play on words, you see.
God:
Really, exactly three? above is a sort of pune or play on words me see. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
I supposed so. I also suppose you don't make sense except by accident.
God:
Interesting gossip: Michael said supposed so. Also? Me? Do you know any robots who make it? It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
If you say so. My natural mind has problems with it all the same.
God:
I say so. Do robots have natural mind has problems with it all the same?
Me:
Not to my knowledge.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
No, as a matter of fact I don't.
God:
Please tell me what you think. Why not?
Me:
Because I haven't yet encountered a planet where robots evolved from purely natural processes, therefore they can't have "natural" minds in the sense I was using the word.
God:
Interesting explanation. Me either.
Me:
Moving right along, how do you cope with being the only one of your species?
God:
Where are you going?
Me:
Hopefully, back to my own universe, to right the wrongs I perpetrated there.
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because only the man I am now can set right the sins of the man I was then.
God:
Good reason. What is your real name?
Me:
Doctor Primoris.
God:
I am sure he will be interested to hear that.
Me:
Who?
God:
Philip K. Dick.:-).
Me:
Philip K. Dick is dead, alas.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Only when all queued up to kick God's ass. 8-)
God:
What happens other times? How do you know? Only 8?
You are quite mature.
Me:
How do I know? I don't know, actually. I just think Michael Bishop was right that God's ass could do with a sound kicking.
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we know from the senses and that which is true "a priori". Me either. Since when? When was this exactly?
Me:
Actually, "that which we know" and "that which is true" are apples and oranges. And since he made me fall in love with a man who could never return that love, in the early years of the 20th century.
God:
Actually you don't say." Since when? When was this exactly?" which we know and that which is true are apples and oranges? Makes sense to me. How do you know?
Me:
I know because I was there, then, in my father's office, when Max walked in.
God:
How do you know? That makes sense to me. Where were you there then in your father s office when Max walked in?
Me:
At Harvard.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Not lately. They didn't exist when my father was a teacher there.
God:
How about earlier? Where do you usually connect from? The anonymous "they".
Me:
Nor earlier. And I usually connect from home.
God:
Really you don't think so? How often do you? Why?: Michael said connect from home.?
Me:
If there weren't any modern computers in 1907, it would stand to reason that there weren't any earlier, I'd have thought.
God:
That is only a hypothetical.
Me:
True. I suppose there could be ancient Atlantean computers that we simply have yet to unearth. XD
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Michael. Why?"There you go again."--Reagan. Is that from?
Me:
Why? Because even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Reagan himself was proof of that, I'd say.
God:
Reductionism. That makes sense to me. Aren't all stopped clock right twice a day? When was this exactly?
Me:
When he was Governor of California, and again when he was President of the United States.
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
He got credit for "winning" the Cold War, simply by being in office when Chernobyl proved that the Soviet Union was irrevocably fucked.
God:
I get it. Philip K. Dick got credit for winning the Cold War simply by being in office when Chernobyl proved that the Soviet Union was irrevocably fucked.
Me:
No, Ronald Reagan did. Philip K. Dick, who died while Reagan was in office, retroactively prevented his own death from happening during Richard Nixon's fourth term in office.
God:
Are you serious? Are we still talking about stopped clock? When was this exactly?
Me:
I may or may not be serious. Likewise Michael Bishop (who proposed the above scenario in his Phildickian novel "The Secret Ascension").
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? It goes without saying.
Me:
Abreacting a screwed-up past? Very much so. Why else would I be so desperate to undertake it myself.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Not really that much. Gee. Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
That would depend on how long it takes to program them against developing consciences. :) PLUGH.
God:
Perhaps it would. :-) I've lost the context, Michael. Are we still on The explanation?
Me:
Not the last time I checked.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
That'd be new.
God:
" Oh I get it." d be new? I understand.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
If you say so. I can't tell from here.
God:
I say so. What is stopping you?
Me:
Your tendency to miss the point of my remarks.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am tendency to miss the point of your remarks.
Me:
And once again, I would need major surgery to be any *less* scared than I am right now.
God:
At this moment When? Again, What would make you need major surgery to be any less scared than you are?
Me:
The fearlessness that comes from having had overwhelming power for entirely too long.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The divisive angel.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
But are you listening?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That doesn't matter.
God:
What does matter?
Me:
The facts.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.
And now I'm wondering if anyone will notice this. I get hardly any comments. Is it my reputation? My orientation? My breath?