# 5

[mdesmont]

Day # 5 and I am slowly beginning to feel like my old gothy self again, actually today I am feeling exceptionally deviant and dark for whatever reason.  I figured out that most of my erratic feelings are a by-product of the nicotine patch, it gives you some nasty vivid dreams… some are amusing most are not…

Weekend had some real rough points

Comments

[special_hypo_k]

whats the _K_ stand for?
Keep going with the patch. Addictions fuck us up hardcore, but you can do it.
U are strong!!!!
I almost wrote you are string then went back and corrected it.
I can picture how weird that wouldve sounded!!!
Brian (bf) watches UFC avidly too though he missed the last one. I am happy to know other ppl into UFC. We go to AC to see reality fighting bc his teacher is in it.

[mdesmont]

Way cool... other people that like UCF... We go to AC almost every other weekend! Tell Brian he did not miss much it was boring...

The -K- stands for my real born as name! Keith... but because many people cannot pronounce it well / or call me Kevin (I do not know why)or by my last name (another first name) and because no one ever really calls me by my real name I do not use it often.

I think I will only continue to use the patch every now and then but it messes with me too much... I think I can do ok without!

Thank you (really) for the words of encouragement it actually does help alot... If I did not have people edging me on to continue I do not know If I would have cause it really is not easy after 15 years...

[special_hypo_k]

I know how hard it must be, and you told me before your name is keith but I wasnt sure...I know another online Keith and wasnt positive I wasnt mixing you up! Just wanted to be sure first.

I think you can go with out the patch too...I think cold turkey will be OK. You will eventually haev to do that anyway why not procrastinate the inevitable. I really hate cigarettes. i quit 7 or 8 years ago and now I only smoke cloves if I see someone with them. I dont have cigarette cravings anymore, at all.

Ill let you know the next time we see a fight in AC.

[mdesmont]

Yeesh... I hope it does not take 7 or 8 years before I have no cravings... lol... Wow you can even smoke cloves now without wanting a cig... impressive! I can only hope to aspire to such a level...

Def. let me know the next time you all go down to AC, maybe we will all meet up for drinks or what not...