A Big Ol' List of Quotes
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Exactly what it say on the tin, folks. This post is a big list of profound and/or funny quotes that I like. Looking for a way to make this a sort of 'sticky' post on both LJ and Facebook; can anyone help me with that?
ETA: I've cutified the bulk of the quotes, but I'm always bumping into newer quotes that I enjoy, so I'll try to keep a few fresh ones outside the cut as I come across them and once I get a few, I'll probably cycle older quotes under the cut with the newest quotes outside of it.
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"D'you know in 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before."
-The Doctor: Doctor Who-
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.-
"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.-
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
-Winston Churchill-
"Life ends when you stop dreaming. Love ends when you stop caring. Friendship ends when you stop sharing."
-Tyson Gentry-
"A man's as miserable as he thinks he is."
-Seneca-
"It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles."
-Machiavelli-
"A man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him."
-William James-
"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
-Sartre-
"What do I care about Jupiter? Justice is a human issue, and I do not need a god to teach it to me."
-Sartre-
"There is no harm in repeating a good thing."
-Plato-
"It is not reason which is the guide of life, but custom."
-David Hume-
"It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows."
-Epicetus-
"Be yourself; everyone else is taken."
-Oscar Wilde-
"The moral test of Government is how that Government treats those who are in the dawn of life: the children, the elderly, the sick, the needy and the handicapped."
-Hubert Humphrey-
"Birth and death are so closely related that one could not destroy either without destroying the other at the same time. It is extinction that makes creation possible."
-Samuel Butler-
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
-John Steinbeck-
"Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed."
-James Russell Lowell-
"A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will."
-Proverb-
"When I give food to the poor they call me a humanitarian, when I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist!"
-Dom Helda Camara-
"They who give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"When work is a pleasure, life is a joy. When work is a duty, life is slavery."
-Maxim Gorky-
"The extreme limit of wisdom - that is what the public calls madness."
-Jean Cocteau-
"The human mind must believe in something, so why not let it believe what it does believe."
-Unknown-
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
-Theodore Isaac Rubin-
"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
-George Orwell-
"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
-Bill Cosby-
"There are no facts, only interpretations."
-Friedrich Nietzsche-
"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there would be peace."
-John Lennon-
"The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention."
-John Burroughs-
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes."
-Dr. Hultquist-
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
-Marcus Aurelius-
"Can you get any more fake than a double fake penguin? I'm trying to think in which the term 'triple fake penguin' would be applicable, but I can't think of one."
-Cybershell: http://www.viddler.com/explore/Cybershell/videos/51/ -
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."
-Marcus Aurelius-
"Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy."
-Anonymous-
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
-Erica Jong-
"Apologizing doesn't mean you're right or wrong; it just means you value your relationship more than your ego."
-Unknown-
"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in shackles."
-Rousseau-
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
"The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless."
-Rousseau-
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
-Mark Twain-
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
-V For Vendetta-
"Don't think outside the box. Think like there is no box."
-Unknown-
"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
-Epictetus-
"I'm well aware that there are forces beyond our control, but even in the face of those forces, we make choices."
-Adelle DeWitt: Dollhouse-
"Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence."
-Da Vinci-
"Madness and genius are the same thing. History judges you by results."
-Unknown-
"That's what art's for: to show us who we are."
-Dollhouse-
"Writing books is fun because you can do it in your pajamas."
-Amber Benson-
"The measure of a man is what he does with power."
-Plato-
"Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
-Unknown-
"Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet."
-Anonymous-
"I am patient with stupidity but not those who are proud of it."
-Edith Sitwell: I Live Under a Black Sun-
"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum."
-Graycie Harmon-
"In the sky, there is no distinction of east & west; people create distinctions out of their own minds & believe them to be true."
-Buddha-
"I simply don't adhere to a knee-jerk assumption that because something is new, it's better."
-Giles: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
-Oscar Wilde-
"You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one."
-Fortune Cookie-
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
-Alice Walker-
"There are few things, apparently, more helpful to a writer than having once been a weird little kid."
-Katherine Patterson-
"Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it. That's American, Robin."
-Barney Stinson: How I Met Your Mother-
"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
-Jimi Hendrix-
"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
-Dalai Lama-
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."
-Joseph Campbell-
"All of the stuff you're supposed to like usually sucks."
-How I Met Your Mother-
"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue put up of him was one kind of sumbitch or another."
-Mal Reynolds: Firefly-
"There are two kinds of people in the world: people who are obsessed with Buffy and people who haven't seen it yet."
-Drew Z. Greenberg-
"I don't believe in devolution; I believe in intelligent decline."
-Stephen Colbert-
"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then I want to see characters from Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto and beyond."
-gabrielleabelle-
"I think I could watch Alyson Hannigan read the phone book and be charmed."
-Douglas Petrie-
"We all know essay writing is useless. If you don't believe me, ask your waiter about his English degree."
-Stephen Colbert-
"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."
-Les Brown-
"On the husband highway there's little forward traffic, just a million well-intentioned men backing up."
-Mr. Feeny: Boy Meets World-
"If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not."
-Gilbert Chesterton-
"Because if I'm forced to do it, just because of some tradition I don't understand, then it doesn't make me happy."
-Topanga: Boy Meets World-
"If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you."
-Billy Wilder-
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but it is still nonsense."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight."
-Leo Rosten-
"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
-William Shakespeare-
"Who knew that the way to a man's heart was through his groin?"
-Robin Williams-
"It is the responsibility of every citizen to ignore dumb laws."
-Ian Clarke-
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
-Winston Churchill-
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
-Douglas Adams-
"I would be a fool of the Bushiest order to state without a doubt that which I have not, myself, established and witnessed with my own eyes (and even then, there would be a reasonable doubt as to whether my eyes - which are near-sighted and have an astigmatism - can be considered reliable). If I were to base a statement only on my memory, I would be an even bigger fool for, as you surely know, my memory is more unreliable than abstinence-only education."
-gabrielleabelle-
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
"The scariest thing in America today is that our schools are teaching kids how to pass tests instead of teaching them how to learn."
-Ron Crouch-
"Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work."
-Albert Einstein-
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."
-Tommy Lee Jones: Men In Black-
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
-Voltaire-
"I'm taking a holiday from dealing. Happily vacationing in the land of not coping."
-Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss-
"I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I've had."
-Nicholas Brendon: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"We can be who we decide to be."
-Alexis Denisof: Dollhouse-
"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go with friends."
-African Proverb-
"Therefore all men are equal to each other by nature. Our actual inequality has been introduced by civil law."
-Thomas Hobbes-
"Words mean more than we mean to express whenever we use them, so a whole book ought to mean a great deal more than the writer meant."
-Lewis Carroll-
“Destiny is an excuse for those who don't have the strength to fulfill their wishes.”
-Tuomas Holopainen-
“F*ck all of the people who have the power to change things but choose to use their power for evil.”
-Lydia Gurevich (therussianenemy)-
“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
-Unknown-
“Such a convenient thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.”
-Benjamin Franklin-
“I have a great deal to do; and I have made up my mind not to die ‘til it is done.”
-Edgar Allan Poe-
"For government is an expedient by which men would fain succeed in letting one another alone..."
-Henry David Thoreau-
"In the right state he is Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
“I would prefer not to.”
-Bartleby, the Scrivener-
“We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.”
-Henry David Thoreau-
“Enlightened people seldom or never possess a sense of responsibility.”
-George Orwell-
“On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”
-George Orwell-
"A good book is the best of friends, the same today and for ever."
-Martin Tupper-
"It is on the whole probable that we continually dream, but that consciousness makes such a noise that we do not hear it."
-Carl Jung-
"The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain."
-John F. Kennedy-
"The infinite is in the finite of every instant."
-Unattributed-
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!"
-Henry Ford-
"What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?"
-Michelangelo-
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive."
-Robert Louis Stevenson-
"It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.”
-Anais Nin-
"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong."
-Bill Vaughan-
"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
-Denis Waitley-
"Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep, moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend."
-Francis Bacon-
"If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes."
-Ludwig Wittgenstein-
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
-Douglas Adams-
"The greatest part of a writer's time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book."
-Samuel Johnson-
"The jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
-Robert Frost-
"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately no one knows what they are."
-Somerset Maugham-
"The best effect of any book, is that it excites the reader to self-activity."
-Thomas Carlyle-
"To the question whether I am a pessimist or an optimist, I answer that my knowledge is pessimistic, but my willing and hoping are optimistic."
-Albert Schweitzer-
"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth."
-Henry Wadsowrth Longfellow-
"So few people think. When we find one who really does, we call him a genius."
-Unknown-
"People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. "
-Agnes Repplier-
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
-Ernest Hemingway-
"Heroes don't accept the world the way it is; they fight it."
-Christian Kane: Angel-
"One never needs their humor as much as when they argue with a fool."
-Proverb-
"I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer."
-Drew Carey: Whose Line is it Anyway?-
"Burn the land and boil the sea; you can't take the sky from me."
-The Ballad of Serenity-
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
-Mark Twain-
"As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible but more mysterious."
-Albert Schweitzer-
"I like your Christ, but I dislike your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
-Gandhi-
“Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.”
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-
“If a musician could say what he had to express in words, he would not bother to say it with music.”
-Mahler-
“I will take Fate by the throat; it shall not wholly overcome me.”
-Beethoven-
“But you see, just because we’ve been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.”
-Twilight-
“Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.”
-New Moon-
“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”
-Japanese Proverb-
“We live as though the world were as it should be to show it what it can be.”
-David Boreanaz: Angel-
“Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe and take for granted; nor to find talk and discourse; but to weigh and consider.”
-Francis Bacon: Of Studies-
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-
"Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?"
-John Keats-
"The Majority have no reason for their opinions other than that they are in fashion."
-Samuel Johnson-
"No one normal made the history books."
-Unknown-
"Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused."
-Unknown-
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Gandhi-
"No one ever ruined his eyesight by looking on the bright side."
-Unknown-
"Failure is success if we learn from it."
-Unknown-
"Taste is nothing but an enlarged capacity for receiving pleasure from works of imagination."
-William Hazlitt-
"Life's rarely ever fair and when it is, we celebrate."
-Tina Skaggs-
"Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds."
-George Santayana-
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people jumping up and down for joy?"
-Unknown-
"When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes."
-Desiderius Erasmus-
"My Universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-
"'Dark' powers may be used for good, and 'light' for evil. The force is only a tool, it is what you do with it that matters."
-Star Wars-
"I have an idea. An idea so big my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about."
-Peter Griffin: Family Guy-
"I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-
"I wish I had an angel for one moment of love."
-Nightwish: Wish I Had an Angel-
"When all words fail, music speaks."
-Unknown-
"Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except for that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off; he got away with it. But most people don't call me a fizzle and get away with it...Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today, only half the people who called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it."
-Peter Griffin: Family Guy-
"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, important traffic news that can't help you because you're some place where a T.V. is."
-Tom Tucker: Family Guy-
"You're preaching to the guy who ate the choir."
-David Boreanaz: Angel-
"Even if they're saying something that I don't wanna hear, I still find honesty really sexy."
-Halle Berry-
"I think you should tell the truth; not telling is making you feel worse."
-Kyle XY-
"Knife, knife...Knife, knife...Knife, knife"
-The Lesson-
"The quasitronic molecular generator in my garage could be the answer."
-David Yost: Power Rangers-
"If your bra is too tight, it might be uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable."
-Lori Beth Denberg with Vital Information-
"Paragraph 5-11, Intellectual Hooliganism."
-Largo Desolato-
"We only achieve an identity through the person next to us."
-Largo Desolato-
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
-Frank Scully-
"You ever seen it so hot you could fry a egg on the sidewalk? That's God fryin' that egg. He's a bad motha f*cka!"
-King Hedley II-
"My jellyfish friends are helping me fly...WITHOUT PANTS!"
-Spongebob Squarepants-
"If someone tells you, 'Life is like a bowl of cherries'...just smack 'em."
-Lori Beth Denberg with Vital Information-
"You're like the little kid who doesn't wanna go to Disney World because she's having to much fun making mud pies by the side of the road."
-The Perfect Stranger-
"En ingles, eso se llama un 'clever decoy.'"
-Conan O'Brien: Noches de Pasion con Señor O'Brien-
"If your phone don't ring, then you know it's me."
-Madonna: Hung Up-
"I wish you had genitalia!"
-Colin Mochrie-
"Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded."
-Unknown-
"You're like the boy who cried motha f*cka."
-Mike Birbiglia-
"If you give up on something just because it's difficult, you might miss out on something really valuable."
-Bob Saget: Full House-
"I don't yell at people...I speak with...conviction."
-Dr. Phil-
"That's not a big problem; a big problem is like...well-if your butt fell off...well, you'd be totally out of the mooning business."
-Dave Coullier: Full House-
"If only we had an electric beaver!"
-Colin Mochrie-
"Boy, you give a guy a tie and a book with the answers in the back and he forgets who his friends are."
-Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen: Full House-
"Seats were made for standing on."
-Roger Daltrey-
"They're arguing about paint. I wanna argue about paint!"
-Nicole Kidman: Bewitched-
"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone-
"Live a healthy life, eat all your vegetables, honor your father and mother, and heaven will reward you with a hot-hot-hottie-hot-hottie-hottie-hot-hot for a roommate."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"I used to think I was a little unstable and then I met, like, every girl I've ever dated."
-Mike Birbiglia-
"This is who I am, escapist, paradise seeker."
-Nightwish: The Escapist-
"Sometimes a man doesn't know himself until he's walked a mile in another man's humongous pants."
-William Daniels: Boy Meets World-
"So the next time you go stickin' your nose some place where it don't belong, you remember one thing...you suck."
-Blake Soper: Boy Meets World-
"Ad lib one more time...and I will rip your pecks off...spread them with butter...real butter...and eat them."
-Conan O'Brien to Fabio-
"Sex is like a bike without training wheels; you try it before you're ready and you'll fall off and break your head."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"It's Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien riding a cotton gin!"
-Conan O'Brien to Jay Leno-
"So I show up this morning, and the wind-chill factor is like...Jupiter."
-Rider Strong: Boy Meets World-
"You know how you can tell if a gas station is price gouging? If the sign says 'Open.'"
-Jay Leno-
"Shangri-La. Heaven on earth. Utopia. Is it hidden somewhere far away or just tucked behind the shoe rack in your closet? The choice is yours."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"He used a teenage colloquialism; get the tear gas!"
-A police man: Family Guy-
"My dad said that if I can't say anything nice, then I shouldn't say anything at all. But my dad's not here; you're a weenie!"
-Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen: Full House-
"Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women!"
-Collin Mochrie-
"Forecast for tomorrow, a few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom!"
-Stewie Griffin: Family Guy-
"I love this job more than I love taffy. And I'm a man who enjoys his taffy."
-Adam West: Family Guy-
"It is not me who has been exposed, but you; for I have seen the nipple on your soul!"
-Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Seinfeld-
"You cook very slowly. As a matter of fact, if you were any slower at cooking, you...well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast at all, now would you?...Well, that wasn't very good."
-Stewie Griffin: Family Guy-
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
-Carl Sagan-
"Follow the muse to the end of your days. Dance like a flame in between the drops of rain. Paint what you dream. Sing from your heart. Follow the muse."
-Glen Burtnik: The Muse-
"I have a heart. Grant it it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart, and that heart is broken."
-Andy Hallet: Angel-
"While I may not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it."
-Evelyn Beatrice Hall-
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-C. S. Lewis-
"That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time"
-John Stuart Mill-
"Let he who is without sin kick the first ass!"
-Family Guy-
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We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.
Exactly what it say on the tin, folks. This post is a big list of profound and/or funny quotes that I like. Looking for a way to make this a sort of 'sticky' post on both LJ and Facebook; can anyone help me with that?
ETA: I've cutified the bulk of the quotes, but I'm always bumping into newer quotes that I enjoy, so I'll try to keep a few fresh ones outside the cut as I come across them and once I get a few, I'll probably cycle older quotes under the cut with the newest quotes outside of it.
------------------------------------------
"D'you know in 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before."
-The Doctor: Doctor Who-
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.-
"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.-
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
-Winston Churchill-
"Life ends when you stop dreaming. Love ends when you stop caring. Friendship ends when you stop sharing."
-Tyson Gentry-
"A man's as miserable as he thinks he is."
-Seneca-
"It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles."
-Machiavelli-
"A man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him."
-William James-
"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company."
-Sartre-
"What do I care about Jupiter? Justice is a human issue, and I do not need a god to teach it to me."
-Sartre-
"There is no harm in repeating a good thing."
-Plato-
"It is not reason which is the guide of life, but custom."
-David Hume-
"It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows."
-Epicetus-
"Be yourself; everyone else is taken."
-Oscar Wilde-
"The moral test of Government is how that Government treats those who are in the dawn of life: the children, the elderly, the sick, the needy and the handicapped."
-Hubert Humphrey-
"Birth and death are so closely related that one could not destroy either without destroying the other at the same time. It is extinction that makes creation possible."
-Samuel Butler-
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
-John Steinbeck-
"Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed."
-James Russell Lowell-
"A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will."
-Proverb-
"When I give food to the poor they call me a humanitarian, when I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist!"
-Dom Helda Camara-
"They who give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"When work is a pleasure, life is a joy. When work is a duty, life is slavery."
-Maxim Gorky-
"The extreme limit of wisdom - that is what the public calls madness."
-Jean Cocteau-
"The human mind must believe in something, so why not let it believe what it does believe."
-Unknown-
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
-Theodore Isaac Rubin-
"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
-George Orwell-
"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
-Bill Cosby-
"There are no facts, only interpretations."
-Friedrich Nietzsche-
"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there would be peace."
-John Lennon-
"The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention."
-John Burroughs-
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes."
-Dr. Hultquist-
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
-Marcus Aurelius-
"Can you get any more fake than a double fake penguin? I'm trying to think in which the term 'triple fake penguin' would be applicable, but I can't think of one."
-Cybershell: http://www.viddler.com/explore/Cybershell/videos/51/ -
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."
-Marcus Aurelius-
"Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy."
-Anonymous-
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
-Erica Jong-
"Apologizing doesn't mean you're right or wrong; it just means you value your relationship more than your ego."
-Unknown-
"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in shackles."
-Rousseau-
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
"The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless."
-Rousseau-
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
-Mark Twain-
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
-V For Vendetta-
"Don't think outside the box. Think like there is no box."
-Unknown-
"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
-Epictetus-
"I'm well aware that there are forces beyond our control, but even in the face of those forces, we make choices."
-Adelle DeWitt: Dollhouse-
"Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence."
-Da Vinci-
"Madness and genius are the same thing. History judges you by results."
-Unknown-
"That's what art's for: to show us who we are."
-Dollhouse-
"Writing books is fun because you can do it in your pajamas."
-Amber Benson-
"The measure of a man is what he does with power."
-Plato-
"Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
-Unknown-
"Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet."
-Anonymous-
"I am patient with stupidity but not those who are proud of it."
-Edith Sitwell: I Live Under a Black Sun-
"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum."
-Graycie Harmon-
"In the sky, there is no distinction of east & west; people create distinctions out of their own minds & believe them to be true."
-Buddha-
"I simply don't adhere to a knee-jerk assumption that because something is new, it's better."
-Giles: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
-Oscar Wilde-
"You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one."
-Fortune Cookie-
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
-Alice Walker-
"There are few things, apparently, more helpful to a writer than having once been a weird little kid."
-Katherine Patterson-
"Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it. That's American, Robin."
-Barney Stinson: How I Met Your Mother-
"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
-Jimi Hendrix-
"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
-Dalai Lama-
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."
-Joseph Campbell-
"All of the stuff you're supposed to like usually sucks."
-How I Met Your Mother-
"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue put up of him was one kind of sumbitch or another."
-Mal Reynolds: Firefly-
"There are two kinds of people in the world: people who are obsessed with Buffy and people who haven't seen it yet."
-Drew Z. Greenberg-
"I don't believe in devolution; I believe in intelligent decline."
-Stephen Colbert-
"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then I want to see characters from Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto and beyond."
-gabrielleabelle-
"I think I could watch Alyson Hannigan read the phone book and be charmed."
-Douglas Petrie-
"We all know essay writing is useless. If you don't believe me, ask your waiter about his English degree."
-Stephen Colbert-
"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."
-Les Brown-
"On the husband highway there's little forward traffic, just a million well-intentioned men backing up."
-Mr. Feeny: Boy Meets World-
"If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not."
-Gilbert Chesterton-
"Because if I'm forced to do it, just because of some tradition I don't understand, then it doesn't make me happy."
-Topanga: Boy Meets World-
"If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you."
-Billy Wilder-
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but it is still nonsense."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight."
-Leo Rosten-
"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
-William Shakespeare-
"Who knew that the way to a man's heart was through his groin?"
-Robin Williams-
"It is the responsibility of every citizen to ignore dumb laws."
-Ian Clarke-
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
-Winston Churchill-
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
-Douglas Adams-
"I would be a fool of the Bushiest order to state without a doubt that which I have not, myself, established and witnessed with my own eyes (and even then, there would be a reasonable doubt as to whether my eyes - which are near-sighted and have an astigmatism - can be considered reliable). If I were to base a statement only on my memory, I would be an even bigger fool for, as you surely know, my memory is more unreliable than abstinence-only education."
-gabrielleabelle-
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
"The scariest thing in America today is that our schools are teaching kids how to pass tests instead of teaching them how to learn."
-Ron Crouch-
"Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work."
-Albert Einstein-
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."
-Tommy Lee Jones: Men In Black-
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
-Voltaire-
"I'm taking a holiday from dealing. Happily vacationing in the land of not coping."
-Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss-
"I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I've had."
-Nicholas Brendon: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer-
"We can be who we decide to be."
-Alexis Denisof: Dollhouse-
"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go with friends."
-African Proverb-
"Therefore all men are equal to each other by nature. Our actual inequality has been introduced by civil law."
-Thomas Hobbes-
"Words mean more than we mean to express whenever we use them, so a whole book ought to mean a great deal more than the writer meant."
-Lewis Carroll-
“Destiny is an excuse for those who don't have the strength to fulfill their wishes.”
-Tuomas Holopainen-
“F*ck all of the people who have the power to change things but choose to use their power for evil.”
-Lydia Gurevich (therussianenemy)-
“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
-Unknown-
“Such a convenient thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.”
-Benjamin Franklin-
“I have a great deal to do; and I have made up my mind not to die ‘til it is done.”
-Edgar Allan Poe-
"For government is an expedient by which men would fain succeed in letting one another alone..."
-Henry David Thoreau-
"In the right state he is Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
“I would prefer not to.”
-Bartleby, the Scrivener-
“We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.”
-Henry David Thoreau-
“Enlightened people seldom or never possess a sense of responsibility.”
-George Orwell-
“On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”
-George Orwell-
"A good book is the best of friends, the same today and for ever."
-Martin Tupper-
"It is on the whole probable that we continually dream, but that consciousness makes such a noise that we do not hear it."
-Carl Jung-
"The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain."
-John F. Kennedy-
"The infinite is in the finite of every instant."
-Unattributed-
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!"
-Henry Ford-
"What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?"
-Michelangelo-
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive."
-Robert Louis Stevenson-
"It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.”
-Anais Nin-
"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong."
-Bill Vaughan-
"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
-Denis Waitley-
"Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep, moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend."
-Francis Bacon-
"If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes."
-Ludwig Wittgenstein-
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
-Douglas Adams-
"The greatest part of a writer's time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book."
-Samuel Johnson-
"The jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
-Robert Frost-
"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately no one knows what they are."
-Somerset Maugham-
"The best effect of any book, is that it excites the reader to self-activity."
-Thomas Carlyle-
"To the question whether I am a pessimist or an optimist, I answer that my knowledge is pessimistic, but my willing and hoping are optimistic."
-Albert Schweitzer-
"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth."
-Henry Wadsowrth Longfellow-
"So few people think. When we find one who really does, we call him a genius."
-Unknown-
"People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. "
-Agnes Repplier-
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
-Ernest Hemingway-
"Heroes don't accept the world the way it is; they fight it."
-Christian Kane: Angel-
"One never needs their humor as much as when they argue with a fool."
-Proverb-
"I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer."
-Drew Carey: Whose Line is it Anyway?-
"Burn the land and boil the sea; you can't take the sky from me."
-The Ballad of Serenity-
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
-Mark Twain-
"As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible but more mysterious."
-Albert Schweitzer-
"I like your Christ, but I dislike your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
-Gandhi-
“Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.”
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-
“If a musician could say what he had to express in words, he would not bother to say it with music.”
-Mahler-
“I will take Fate by the throat; it shall not wholly overcome me.”
-Beethoven-
“But you see, just because we’ve been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.”
-Twilight-
“Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.”
-New Moon-
“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”
-Japanese Proverb-
“We live as though the world were as it should be to show it what it can be.”
-David Boreanaz: Angel-
“Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe and take for granted; nor to find talk and discourse; but to weigh and consider.”
-Francis Bacon: Of Studies-
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-
"Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?"
-John Keats-
"The Majority have no reason for their opinions other than that they are in fashion."
-Samuel Johnson-
"No one normal made the history books."
-Unknown-
"Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused."
-Unknown-
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Gandhi-
"No one ever ruined his eyesight by looking on the bright side."
-Unknown-
"Failure is success if we learn from it."
-Unknown-
"Taste is nothing but an enlarged capacity for receiving pleasure from works of imagination."
-William Hazlitt-
"Life's rarely ever fair and when it is, we celebrate."
-Tina Skaggs-
"Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds."
-George Santayana-
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people jumping up and down for joy?"
-Unknown-
"When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes."
-Desiderius Erasmus-
"My Universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-
"'Dark' powers may be used for good, and 'light' for evil. The force is only a tool, it is what you do with it that matters."
-Star Wars-
"I have an idea. An idea so big my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about."
-Peter Griffin: Family Guy-
"I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-
"I wish I had an angel for one moment of love."
-Nightwish: Wish I Had an Angel-
"When all words fail, music speaks."
-Unknown-
"Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except for that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off; he got away with it. But most people don't call me a fizzle and get away with it...Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today, only half the people who called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it."
-Peter Griffin: Family Guy-
"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, important traffic news that can't help you because you're some place where a T.V. is."
-Tom Tucker: Family Guy-
"You're preaching to the guy who ate the choir."
-David Boreanaz: Angel-
"Even if they're saying something that I don't wanna hear, I still find honesty really sexy."
-Halle Berry-
"I think you should tell the truth; not telling is making you feel worse."
-Kyle XY-
"Knife, knife...Knife, knife...Knife, knife"
-The Lesson-
"The quasitronic molecular generator in my garage could be the answer."
-David Yost: Power Rangers-
"If your bra is too tight, it might be uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable."
-Lori Beth Denberg with Vital Information-
"Paragraph 5-11, Intellectual Hooliganism."
-Largo Desolato-
"We only achieve an identity through the person next to us."
-Largo Desolato-
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
-Frank Scully-
"You ever seen it so hot you could fry a egg on the sidewalk? That's God fryin' that egg. He's a bad motha f*cka!"
-King Hedley II-
"My jellyfish friends are helping me fly...WITHOUT PANTS!"
-Spongebob Squarepants-
"If someone tells you, 'Life is like a bowl of cherries'...just smack 'em."
-Lori Beth Denberg with Vital Information-
"You're like the little kid who doesn't wanna go to Disney World because she's having to much fun making mud pies by the side of the road."
-The Perfect Stranger-
"En ingles, eso se llama un 'clever decoy.'"
-Conan O'Brien: Noches de Pasion con Señor O'Brien-
"If your phone don't ring, then you know it's me."
-Madonna: Hung Up-
"I wish you had genitalia!"
-Colin Mochrie-
"Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded."
-Unknown-
"You're like the boy who cried motha f*cka."
-Mike Birbiglia-
"If you give up on something just because it's difficult, you might miss out on something really valuable."
-Bob Saget: Full House-
"I don't yell at people...I speak with...conviction."
-Dr. Phil-
"That's not a big problem; a big problem is like...well-if your butt fell off...well, you'd be totally out of the mooning business."
-Dave Coullier: Full House-
"If only we had an electric beaver!"
-Colin Mochrie-
"Boy, you give a guy a tie and a book with the answers in the back and he forgets who his friends are."
-Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen: Full House-
"Seats were made for standing on."
-Roger Daltrey-
"They're arguing about paint. I wanna argue about paint!"
-Nicole Kidman: Bewitched-
"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone-
"Live a healthy life, eat all your vegetables, honor your father and mother, and heaven will reward you with a hot-hot-hottie-hot-hottie-hottie-hot-hot for a roommate."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"I used to think I was a little unstable and then I met, like, every girl I've ever dated."
-Mike Birbiglia-
"This is who I am, escapist, paradise seeker."
-Nightwish: The Escapist-
"Sometimes a man doesn't know himself until he's walked a mile in another man's humongous pants."
-William Daniels: Boy Meets World-
"So the next time you go stickin' your nose some place where it don't belong, you remember one thing...you suck."
-Blake Soper: Boy Meets World-
"Ad lib one more time...and I will rip your pecks off...spread them with butter...real butter...and eat them."
-Conan O'Brien to Fabio-
"Sex is like a bike without training wheels; you try it before you're ready and you'll fall off and break your head."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"It's Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien riding a cotton gin!"
-Conan O'Brien to Jay Leno-
"So I show up this morning, and the wind-chill factor is like...Jupiter."
-Rider Strong: Boy Meets World-
"You know how you can tell if a gas station is price gouging? If the sign says 'Open.'"
-Jay Leno-
"Shangri-La. Heaven on earth. Utopia. Is it hidden somewhere far away or just tucked behind the shoe rack in your closet? The choice is yours."
-Will Friedle: Boy Meets World-
"He used a teenage colloquialism; get the tear gas!"
-A police man: Family Guy-
"My dad said that if I can't say anything nice, then I shouldn't say anything at all. But my dad's not here; you're a weenie!"
-Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen: Full House-
"Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women!"
-Collin Mochrie-
"Forecast for tomorrow, a few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom!"
-Stewie Griffin: Family Guy-
"I love this job more than I love taffy. And I'm a man who enjoys his taffy."
-Adam West: Family Guy-
"It is not me who has been exposed, but you; for I have seen the nipple on your soul!"
-Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Seinfeld-
"You cook very slowly. As a matter of fact, if you were any slower at cooking, you...well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast at all, now would you?...Well, that wasn't very good."
-Stewie Griffin: Family Guy-
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
-Carl Sagan-
"Follow the muse to the end of your days. Dance like a flame in between the drops of rain. Paint what you dream. Sing from your heart. Follow the muse."
-Glen Burtnik: The Muse-
"I have a heart. Grant it it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart, and that heart is broken."
-Andy Hallet: Angel-
"While I may not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it."
-Evelyn Beatrice Hall-
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-C. S. Lewis-
"That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time"
-John Stuart Mill-
"Let he who is without sin kick the first ass!"
-Family Guy-