FIC: Closer to the Heart - Chapter 6 (PG-13)
Title: Closer to the Heart
Chapter 6: Show Time
Rating: PG-13?
Warnings: One F-bomb. Other than that, if you’re not offended by the episode, you shouldn’t be offended by this fic.
Summary: Willow tries to support Buffy’s decisions.
Beta: The frakking awesome kristina_secret, who put in overtime on my birthday!
A/N: I’m having a terrific day.
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“You don’t have to do this,” Kennedy told Willow.
Buffy was out picking up another potential Slayer. It was late and most of the inhabitants of the house were trying to get some sleep. Willow lay on the floor with a sleeping bag and a pillow; Kennedy had the bed.
“Flooring it,” Kennedy clarified. “In the bag. ‘Cause,” Kennedy patted the mattress, “nice big comfy bed right here. I mean, you ought to know. Your bed.”
“Yeah, but no,” Willow answered. Yes to the comfy, no to the Kennedy. “I’m okay,” said the witch, assuring herself as well as Kennedy. “I just - I like it down here.” She patted the bag. “It’s firm.”
Kennedy chuckled as Willow tried to get more comfortably positioned against her pillow.
“Funny,” the brunette teased, “you look a little uncomfortable. Or…is it just me?”
How was Willow supposed to tell this girl to back off? She didn’t want to be rude, especially to a potential Slayer, but Buffy didn’t want the potentials to know about her relationship with Willow. Buffy thought she needed to be more than human for these girls, beyond human emotions like fear…and apparently love too. Willow closed her eyes and took a deep breath before addressing Kennedy.
“No,” she began. She hadn’t been keeping close track of their conversation, but lots of ‘no’s would probably come in handy. “I’m just, uh, uneasy ‘cause Buffy’s out.” Oops. That wasn’t too much though. Buffy was the Slayer and also Willow’s good friend. Why shouldn’t she be uneasy? Buffy had promised to do the thinking thing before they went to bed, but Buffy never slept…
“Right,” Kennedy sounded doubtful. “How many girls arriving this time?”
“Just one,” Willow replied, trying to stick to the conversation and get out of her own head. “But since Giles has the coven searching for other Slayers-in-waiting to send ‘em our way, I bet we’ll be seeing a lot more soon enough.”
Kennedy continued to stare at Willow as she snuggled up closer to her pillow, face positioned at the foot of the bed.
“So, you’re saying I should enjoy having this bed all to myself as long as I can?” the potential Slayer questioned.
“It is starting to get crowded around here.” More houseguests equated to less Buffy. Why couldn’t Buffy see Willow’s point of view? She was supposed to cut herself off in front of the enemy; these girls were her allies. But Willow wasn’t the Slayer and so Buffy couldn’t take her opinion seriously on Slayer stuff. Willow rolled over to face away from Kennedy.
She can’t do her job with complex emotional problems on her mind.
“Totally,” said Kennedy. What had they been talking about? “And with this many girls,” crowded, that was it, “well, I’m just saying if we don’t get another bathroom in this house soon, things are gonna get ugly.”
There was a pause. Willow was supposed to say something now. Crowded. Ugly bathrooms; that took her to a scary visual place. Conversation. Kennedy. Kennedy who was trying to hit on her. Maybe she just wouldn’t answer. Maybe Kennedy would think she’d fallen asleep. She couldn’t sleep though. The uncomfortable sleeping bag was only a small obstacle compared to Buffy. A single tear slipped down her cheek as her thoughts turned to Buffy. Being supportive was hard.
“You don’t really expect me to believe you fell asleep already?” Kennedy prompted.
Willow didn’t answer. She didn’t have an answer. What was with this girl? Was the cold shoulder not an accepted gesture anymore?
“Come on,” Kennedy persisted, “talk to me a little. I’m still not used to the time difference.”
Maybe another gesture, but that would be rude. She really didn’t want to be rude to this woman; she just wanted her to understand that flirting was out of the question. She had a girlfriend…even if she couldn’t tell anyone that. Xander had agreed with Willow’s feelings when she told him about Buffy’s decision. Willow wanted to support Buffy though, so Xander had pledged to keep it quiet. Dawn had taken some convincing, but Willow eventually offered to do the teen’s household chores in exchange for her silence. Anya had promised only to not bring up the subject, but made no guarantees if the topic came up of its own accord.
“Willow,” Kennedy whined. “Come on, please. What’s your story? I mean, witchcraft? That sounds new-agey.”
Maybe rude gestures shouldn’t be ruled out so soon. But that was anger, a reflex, not the best way to approach any situation.
“I’m trying to sleep,” Willow tried softly.
“Come on, show me a trick,” Kennedy requested. “Pull a rabbit out of a hat or something.”
“You should be trying to sleep too,” the witch mumbled listlessly.
“Hey, if I wanted to sleep, I’d be downstairs catching Z’s with the other girls.”
Sexual implications. This girl was really crap with signals.
“Stop it,” said Willow bluntly.
“Come on, it’s just you and me. Open up a little.”
Open up. She had tried to get Buffy to open up.
You think you’re helping her by getting in touch with her feelings?
She and Buffy should be opening up together right now, but instead she was stuck trying to come up with a way to get Kennedy to back off.
“You’re not one of those chicks who’s ashamed, are you?”
Ashamed. More tears. Stupid, stubborn things. Nothing was listening to Willow tonight. Not Kennedy, not her tears, and not Buffy. Buffy wasn’t ashamed. She said she wasn’t ashamed. It was about being the Slayer. So why hadn’t she told Spike? No. Buffy wasn’t ashamed. Willow trusted Buffy. If they didn’t have trust, then what else would there be? Stupid tears. Tears weren’t supposed to be there when she was sure of herself.
“Just not interested,” Willow half-whispered, knowing her voice would betray her if she spoke too loudly.
“Okay, now once more, with feeling,” said Kennedy.
“Just stop it!” Willow insisted.
“Willow?”
Damn.
“Willow, are you okay?” Concern. Damn. Stupid tears. Stupid voice. “A-are you crying?”
“Leave it.” Stupid shaking.
“Willow.” More concern. Bedsprings creaking.
“No.”
The potential Slayer pulled Willow close to her in a hug.
“Let me go,” Willow said thickly.
“No,” Kennedy responded firmly. “You’re hurting, Willow.”
“I don’t need-”
“Yes you do.”
“Not from you.”
“Why not?” Kennedy asked calmly.
“Because you want more,” Willow said flatly.
“That’s my problem,” Kennedy countered. “Let me help you, okay? Why are you crying?”
“None of your business,” Willow snapped. “Let go.”
“Don’t bottle it up, Willow.”
“This is not your concern,” Willow retorted coldly. “You’ve known me for, like, ten seconds and you expect me to open up to you?”
“I’m sorry,” Kennedy said quickly. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I mean - you’re not crying over me, right? It wasn’t something I said?”
“How self-centered are you?”
“What? I was just asking,” Kennedy defended. “I wanna help you with this if I can. I hate seeing pretty girls cry.”
“Stop that!” Willow argued. “Stop trying to flirt with me; I’m not interested.”
“Well, I still wish you would feel better,” Kennedy responded.
“Please let go of me,” Willow said tonelessly.
“Tell me why,” Kennedy requested.
“Let go.”
“Why?”
“I said let go!” Kennedy flew backwards, knocking her head and lower back against the foot of the bed. “Still want me to show you a trick?” Willow asked scathingly.
“Willow!” screamed the potential Slayer.
The power is bigger than you are… You're not gonna be okay. You're gonna kill everybody.
Power. Power. Stop. Power. Stop. Stop. Stop.
“I’m sorry,” Willow said quickly, wrapping her arms around herself. “I-I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m okay,” Kennedy grunted as she got to her feet. “Why are you smiling?” she added.
Willow straightened her face and sank back into her pillow.
“Maybe you should just go to sleep,” said the witch.
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“Maybe we can save the maybes for a more dayish part of the day, girls,” Xander said to the chattering potential Slayers in the living room as he turned on a lamp. “Potential Slayers can function without sleep. Me, I’m no good without my usual ninety minutes.”
“I’m with him,” Andrew added from his chair in the corner of the room. “Keep the chatter down! Or speak up so I can hear you. I’m bored. Episode One bored.”
The front door opened and Buffy entered, along with the newest potential Slayer.
“You guys are still up?” she questioned.
*You up?* she tried tentatively, not wanting to disturb Willow if she was sleeping peacefully.
*Yes,* came the reply almost instantly; she had waited up. *I miss you.*
*We’ll talk in a minute, okay?*
*Okay.*
*I love you, Will.*
*I love you too.*
“Ah! Who needs sleep?” said Xander, grinning widely.
“Everybody, this is Rona,” she introduced the girl with a gesture. They all mumbled greetings.
“Um…” Rona began, “why is that guy tied to a chair?”
“The question you’ll soon be asking is, ‘Why isn’t he gagged?’” said Xander with a smirk.
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Buffy sank onto her bed, fully dressed, too exhausted to bother with much of anything.
*I love you, Willow,* she reaffirmed.
*I love you too,* Willow replied just as quickly as before. *I wish I was with you.*
*Me too.*
*This is good though,* Willow assured her supportively. *I’m glad you’re home.*
*It’s good to hear your voice. Well, your thought-voice anyway,* Buffy amended.
*Everything go okay?*
*She had a welcoming committee,* Buffy informed the witch. *Bringers.*
*So The First knows,* Willow realized.
*It was only a matter of time,* Buffy reasoned. *Still not exactly comforting though.*
*I wish I could comfort you.*
*You already are.*
*I wish I could touch you,* Willow lamented.
*You could always - pretend you’re touching me…it’s harder to make thoughts sound suggestive.*
*Suggestive?*
*You think it, I do it,* Buffy offered. *Or the other way around if you wanna go first.*
*I’m not gonna touch myself with Kennedy in the room.*
*Is my wicked witch a chicken?* Buffy teased.
*Buffy, she’s still awake,* Willow pointed out.
*Oh…how do you know?*
*She keeps looking over at me.*
*Creepy,* Buffy commented. *Maybe she should start sleeping downstairs with the rest of them.*
*So…do you still want me to touch you?*
*I don’t wanna leave you high and dry.*
*I don’t think dry’s gonna be an issue, sweetie,* Willow answered.
*You know what I mean. I don’t wanna be greedy.*
*I’m stroking your hair,* Willow began.
*Will…*
*Let me do this for you, Buffy,* Willow insisted. *I promise, I enjoy anything I can do for you. I love you, Buffy.*
*I love you too.*
*I’m stroking your hair.*
*Feels nice.*
*Yeah?*
*…No.*
*What?*
*I’m sorry, Will. This sounded better on paper, but it’s not really working for me.*
*Oh…*
*I wish you were in the room with me.*
*You’re the only reason I’m not, Buffy. I’d be in there in a second if you said it was okay.*
*I can’t…I wanna say yes to you, but I just can’t.*
You think Buffy needs you? … She can’t do her job…
Silence.
*You still there, Will?*
*Yeah…*
*I love you.*
*I love - oh fuck off, Kennedy!*
*What?*
*Sorry…didn’t mean to broadcast that one.*
*What’s going on?*
*Nothing, she just keeps trying to talk to me…I love you too,* the witch completed her earlier thought.
*You seem kinda pissed. You sure you’re alright?*
*I’m fine…she - just gets under my skin a little. Earlier she was asking me to do magic tricks.*
*We can put her downstairs if she’s bothering you.*
*No, it’s fine. I’ll deal with it.*
*You sure?*
*You don’t need any more on your plate. Kennedy’s just a minor problem. It’ll probably clear up once she adjusts to the time difference.*
*I’m sorry she’s bugging you.*
*Don’t worry about it, okay? … I don’t want you to worry…*
*Try to get some sleep, okay?*
*What about you?* Willow prompted.
*Probably not.*
*I wish you would.*
*Maybe after we deal with the NeanderVamp…I just can’t let go right now.*
*…I wish I could help you.*
*You do, remember? You give me strength, Will.*
*I love you, Buffy. I love you so much.*
*I love you too. It’s so hard to be away from you.*
*…You know what I wanna say.*
*…Try to sleep.*
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Buffy was in her element, performing as the hero. The Turok-Han fought hard, but she wouldn’t be deterred. Willow could see the superhuman power in every blow. This was the reason for everything; Buffy needed for the girls to see this side of her.
“This,” Dawn said suddenly. Willow turned to see the teen facing her. “You planned this. Letting the barrier fail, bringing us here - you and Buffy.”
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“Honestly,” Molly said softly, “you staked that thing - and it didn’t die.”
“No, but that doesn’t-” Dawn defended.
“Maybe it can’t be killed,” Vi suggested timidly.
*Willow, can you hear me?* Buffy prompted with her thoughts.
*Of course I can,* Willow answered.
*We’re losing them. We can’t let that happen. I have an idea. Grab Xander,* she added as she moved toward the kitchen.
*Xander,* Willow thought softly.
“What?” he answered aloud, staring around in confusion. Willow suppressed the urge to chuckle as she walked out of the room. “I just thought it beared repeating,” he assured the group awkwardly before following.
*I gotta slay the NeanderVamp to get Spike out of that cave,* Buffy began, *but I need those girls to see me do it.*
*I get it,* Willow assured her readily, *but this isn’t the best venue for a smackdown.*
They paused in thought.
*I know just the place,* Xander supplied.
*Where at?* Buffy asked.
*Site for the new public library. It’s more like an open arena than anything right now.*
*Sounds good. Now for the hard part,* Buffy warned. *You guys have to let me fight this thing.*
*I wasn’t exactly planning on trading blows with it,* Xander pointed out.
*I mean it though,* Buffy insisted. *Don’t help me out.* She looked into Willow’s eyes. *The girls need to see me take this thing on.*
*Which is all well and good, but what if something goes wrong?* Xander asked.
*Then you wait until I make it right,* Buffy replied. *You wait until the last possible minute and then you wait one more minute. I’m lookin’ at you, Will. I know this is gonna be hard for you.*
*Don’t worry about me,* Willow dismissed. *Do what you need to do; I’ll support you.*
*I love you, Will.*
*I love you too.*
*It’s that look!* Xander interrupted. The girls turned. *Sorry. I just - you guys have done this before. The telepathy thing,* he clarified. *I mean, obviously you used to it to us all the time,* he nodded toward Willow, *but you guys have been doing it recently, right?*
*Yeah,* Buffy informed him. *Good relationships are all about communication, right?*
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“A knife now, is it?”
Spike was chained to the wall of the cave, bruised, bloodied, and scarred, but alive. Or at least undead. Buffy moved forward with the Bringer’s knife.
“What’ll…what’ll that…” Spike mumbled disjointedly. “You - you can’t hurt me. You’re - you’re just a bloody figment, you are. You’re just…” He trailed off as Buffy began cutting his ties. His hand fell onto her shoulder and he searched her face intently.
“You,” he muttered. “Oh.”
“It’s me,” Buffy assured him. “And I’m sorry, but you were wrong about not hurting you.” The vampire gave no reply. “I can and I probably will,” she said sadly. “Because there’s something I need you to know before I take you back.”
“I know about Willow,” he told her.
“You - what?” Buffy searched his swollen eyes.
“You’re together, right? You and her?”
“How did you know?” Spike sniffed once in reply. “Why didn’t you say-”
“Thought it’d be easier that way, pet,” he answered softly. “I know, okay? Can we leave the rest for later?”
“Yeah.” Buffy shifted to support Spike’s weight. “Come on.”
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*Honey, I’m home,* Buffy thought as she entered the house.
*Hey,* Willow greeted her. *Everything alright?*
*He’s pretty banged up,* answered the Slayer. *I’m taking him down to the basement.*
*You’re gonna chain him up?*
*His plan…makes sense though. We still haven’t gotten anywhere with the trigger. I’m gonna get him some water and some blood.*
*Want me to come down?* Willow offered.
*You can if you want,* Buffy replied.
*Really?*
*He knows.*
There was a pause.
*You told him?* Willow prompted.
*I started to,* Buffy responded, *and then he said he already knew.*
*But he knows?*
*Yeah.*
*I’ll be down in just a sec. I can get the blood and stuff while you work with the shackles.*
*So glad neither one of us had to say that out loud,* Buffy thought back. *You don’t mind getting the blood though?*
*I’d do anything for you, Buffy.*
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Next Chapter: Potential
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