FIC: Closer to the Heart - Chapter 9
Title: Closer to the Heart
Chapter 9: First Date
Rating: PG-13?
Warnings: If you’re not offended by the episode, you shouldn’t be offended by this fic.
Summary: Buffy investigates Principal Wood. Willow tries to maintain order.
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Kennedy slumped wearily up the stairs, worrying slightly that her boots would disturb anyone who was actually managing to sleep. She was looking forward to sleeping as much as any of them, but she doubted she’d be able to with any amount of ease. Opening the door to the room, she saw Willow sitting against the wall, arms wrapped around her legs and quietly crying.
“Some girlfriend,” Kennedy muttered as she shut the door behind her.
Willow ignored the comment.
“Y-you guys are back?” asked the witch.
“Buffy sent us home,” Kennedy told her. “Spike tackled Giles and things just kind of went to crap from there. She and Spike are finishing up the patrol.”
“Oh… So, Giles knows about the chip?”
“You knew?” Kennedy questioned.
“I was there when Buffy made the choice,” Willow explained.
“So why didn’t you tell her not to do it?”
“’Cause I was a little busy telling her to do it,” argued Willow. Kennedy’s face fell. “Spike wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose.”
“Until The First comes in and pulls the trigger,” Kennedy countered.
“Which the chip didn’t stop before,” Willow persisted.
“But you guys don’t even know if the chip was working.”
“Buffy trusts Spike,” Willow said calmly. “And she does everything she can for you and the other girls; you need to trust her.”
Kennedy sighed heavily, having a seat on the bed.
“We don’t need to talk about Buffy,” she decided. “Let’s talk about your girlfriend.”
Willow blinked slowly.
“I’d rather not,” she said softly.
“It’s someone who lives here, right?” Kennedy pressed.
“I’m not answering,” Willow informed the potential Slayer.
“Surely you’d dump her if she left you all alone during an apocalypse,” Kennedy reasoned. “Then again, she is enough of a bitch to leave you to cry about her every night.”
“Don’t,” Willow said dryly. “You don’t even know her.”
“I know that you’re in pain and she’s not helping you,” the brunette replied.
“There are more important things,” Willow defended. “She doesn’t need my problems on top of her own. Like you said, there’s an apocalypse.”
She can’t do her job with complex emotional problems on her mind.
“And that means you’re supposed to turn off your feelings?” asked the potential Slayer. “You think you can’t save the world and have a life at the same time? There’s no reason for you to be crying alone, Willow.”
“Sometimes other things have to come first,” Willow said plainly. “I understand that.”
“So, why do you cry?”
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“Nothing’s changed, Giles.” Buffy sighed and started folding laundry as she spoke to the Watcher. “Spike had a chip before, remember? When The First had him kill and sire all those people.”
“We have no idea if his chip was working then,” said Giles, taking off his glasses. “A new chip might restrain him, should The First attempt to activate him again.”
“He has a soul now,” Buffy told Giles, looking him in the eyes. “That’s what’s gonna stop him from hurting people.”
“Buffy…” Giles said quietly.
“He can be a good man, Giles,” Buffy stated firmly. “I feel it. But he’s never gonna get there if we don’t give him the chance.”
Giles stepped closer.
“Buffy, I want more for you,” he said gently. “Your feelings for him are coloring your judgment. I can hear it in your voice.” Buffy sighed. “And that way lies a future filled with pain. I don’t want that for you.”
“We haven’t-” Buffy shifted uncomfortably, glancing toward the open door to make sure no one was nearby. “Giles, you know I’m with Willow.”
“Would this be the same Willow that you’re never actually with?” Giles challenged.
“We were together plenty before someone turned up with a busload of strangers who depend on me to kill the monsters in their closet,” Buffy pointed out.
“Are you saying you blame them?”
“What I’m saying,” Buffy began in a low and serious tone, “is that I deny myself - real happiness - perfect happiness - wonderful, perfect, lose your soul in it happiness so that I can be what these girls need. So don’t you dare, Giles. Don’t you dare tell me that I let my feelings color my judgment. You think I’m losing sight of the big picture, but I’m not. When Spike had that chip it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. You can’t beat evil by doing evil. I know that.”
She left the room silently.
“Well, I hope you’re right,” Giles called after her. “You’re gambling with a lot of lives.”
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“Um, what’re you doing tonight?”
Buffy stared blankly at Principal Wood. Surely she was mishearing that question.
“Preparing for tomorrow’s counseling sessions,” she answered slowly.
“No, really,” said Wood with a smile.
“Watching a reality show about a millionaire,” Buffy tried, assuming that ‘preparing for the apocalypse’ would not be a helpful answer.
“Well, then, I’d um - I’d like to take you out to dinner, if that’s alright with you.” Buffy’s eyes widened. “I mean, you don’t have to,” he added quickly. Buffy was thinking fast. Was this a genuine dinner invitation or an evil plot? “I’m certainly not saying come to dinner if you enjoy having a job.” He chuckled briefly, then frowned. “You know, I may have to make up a little document saying I didn’t just say that and have you sign it.”
Buffy smiled warmly.
“Sure. I’d be happy to have dinner with you.”
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“Will, you know how sometimes I have to do things for the cause?”
Willow was standing in front of the couch, folding her laundry. Buffy sat next to the clothes as they talked.
“What is it, Buffy?” Willow replied calmly.
“Like, for example, if I was investigating someone who may or may not be evil.”
“Principal Wood,” Willow acknowledged.
“And what if this person of ambiguous loyalties - asked me out to dinner?”
“You know I trust you, Buffy,” Willow smiled indulgently.
“I wasn’t sure how to tell you,” Buffy admitted.
“That was fine,” Willow assured her. “So, he asked you out to dinner?”
“Yeah. Isn’t that weird?” asked the Slayer. “Lends support to the evil theory, doesn’t it? I mean, he’s a Principal. He’s a young, hot Principal with earrings,” Willow rolled her eyes, “but he’s a Principal. Why do you think he asked me out? Evil or interested? I mean, he could be interested, right?”
“Yeah, sure,” Willow agreed. “You’re a frisky vixen.”
*Wicked witch,* Buffy thought at her.
“Or, it could be work-related,” Buffy continued theorizing. “Maybe I’m getting promoted for doing such a good job.”
Willow giggled.
“Oh, right,” she corrected quickly. “That - that makes sense too.”
*Maybe I’ll start calling you frisky,* she added mentally.
*I’ll frisk you.*
*Promise?*
“Or, maybe he knows that I suspect he’s up to something and he’s taking me out to kill me.”
“Well, you’ll have to dress for the ambiguity,” Willow said with a shrug.
*God, I wanna touch you, Will.*
*You’re quite welcome to grope me at any time you see fit.*
“You know, it’s not even that he’s acting suspicious,” Buffy qualified. “It’s just - there he is. On the Hellmouth. All day, every day. That’s gotta be like being showered with evil. Only from underneath.”
“Not really a shower,” Willow pointed out.
“A bidet,” Buffy decided. “Like a bidet of evil.”
*Willow, what would you say if I asked you rip all my clothes off right now?*
The witch affected a ponderous expression.
*I’d probably have to say-*
The front door opened.
“Hey, someone’s here,” Buffy announced in an overly cheerful tone.
Xander rushed into the room, grinning from ear to ear.
“Guys,” he exclaimed, glad to have found them so quickly, “guess what happened.”
“Buffy got a date,” Willow supplied with a playful smile at the Slayer.
“No, I did.” He looked down at Buffy with a frown. “Fine. Way to steal my thunder. So you guys are goin’ public?”
“No,” Buffy said quickly, glancing around her to make sure no one was nearby.
“Technically, she’s investigating Principal Wood,” Willow explained.
“He asked me out to dinner,” Buffy added. “If it makes you feel any better, I think he’s aligned with The First.”
“Also, like ten years older than you, right?” Xander questioned.
“Which is like a hundred years younger than your type,” Willow teased.
“Yay, someone who doesn’t remember the Industrial Revolution,” Buffy grinned back at her.
“I think they’re gonna end up making out,” Willow said levelly. “‘Oh, Principal Wood’, she’ll gasp, ‘I love your sexy earrings.’”
Buffy threw a pair of socks at her.
“Wicked witch,” she said with a pout.
“Frisky vixen,” Willow countered.
“Well, it’s good to see you two getting along,” Xander chimed in.
“So, how ‘bout yours, Xander,” Willow prompted. “Is she evil?”
“Well, she’s interested in me,” Xander pointed out, “so there’s a good chance, but I’m hoping for the best.”
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“The girls must die,” said The First, appearing as Jonathan.
Andrew paled and took a deep breath to steady himself.
“I could never do that,” he said resolutely. “All those girls, a-all that blood - I-I didn’t like the stabbing before.”
“You don’t have to stab,” said The First quickly. “This’ll be easy.” It shifted in appearance from Jonathan to Warren. “I know where you can get a gun.”
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“Heard you got a date.” Spike raised his eyebrows, questioning Buffy.
“Well, it’s unclear,” Buffy informed him. “I mean, I have this whole theory about a promotion. Or he’s evil.”
“And how, uh - how do your friends feel about this?” he asked quietly, looking around to see if anyone might be listening.
“My friends are fine with it,” Buffy assured him. “My friends know that I’m just investigating him. And possibly enjoying a fine free meal.”
“Sure about that, luv? Maybe your friends just tell you what they think you wanna hear.”
“My friends trust me, Spike. I talk to my friends about everything.”
Spike shifted uncomfortably.
“What about you Spike? We still haven’t really talked about - my friends.”
“Buffy, I’m alright,” he assured her softly.
“You don’t have to-”
“What? Be noble?” the vampire interrupted. “I’m not. Really, I’m alright. Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear.”
“Good,” Buffy said, smiling kindly. “I’m glad. Thank you.”
“Never much cared for picket fences anyway,” Spike commented. “Bloody dangerous.”
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“Nothing?” Dawn asked Amanda as they, along with Kennedy and Willow, researched Principal Wood. “No records or certificates? College transcripts?”
“Looks like the only stuff in the system about Principal Robin Wood is super-recent,” Amanda answered. “Like, since he moved to Sunnydale.”
“I’ve googled ‘til I just can’t google no more.” Willow sighed. “He’s not in there.”
“Well, that’s suspicious,” said Kennedy, leaning over Willow’s shoulder to view the laptop screen.
“Kennedy, you’re kind of in my bubble,” Willow pointed out.
As Kennedy pulled back, Anya stormed into the room follow closely by Giles.
“Anya, calm down,” Giles insisted. “They’re educational.”
Anya handed a stack of papers to Willow.
“What’s this?” asked the witch. Flipping through, she discovered they were increasingly graphic flashcards. Kennedy leaned forward again. “Bubble,” Willow insisted, holding up a hand defensively.
“Does it bother you?” Kennedy challenged, not moving.
Anya gaped at the overt flirtation.
“You know that’s not very polite,” the ex-demon pointed out.
“Yeah,” Dawn agreed. “And - consider the source,” she added, gesturing at Anya.
Kennedy stared back and forth between them for a moment and then backed away again.
“Hi guys,” said a high female voice. All heads turned as Vi entered the room.
“Hi, Vi,” said Dawn, smiling brightly.
“Hi, Dawn,” Vi returned the smile. “Hi, Kennedy,” she added.
“Um, hi.” Kennedy acknowledged Vi with a nod.
“So, what’re you doing?” Vi inquired. Kennedy passed her one of the flashcards. “Oh…well, look at that,” Vi mumbled faintly.
“Someone wanna explain to me what these are?” Willow requested.
“Giles made them for Chao-Ahn,” Anya said angrily, “and now she’s locked herself in the bathroom. There’s other girls upstairs and they’re starting to complain.”
“Those are flashcards,” Giles defended. “I-I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a Watcher. The language problem-”
“You showed her these?” Willow interrupted, wide-eyed.
“I wanted her to understand the seriousness of the situation,” Giles explained.
“Holy crap!” Dawn exclaimed as she held up one of the cards depicting a bloody mess and a girl who appeared to have been ripped in half.
“Perhaps I’ll rethink the approach,” Giles decided.
“In the meanwhile, wanna help us get researchy?” Willow offered. “We’re trying to invade Buffy’s date’s privacy.”
“Buffy has a date?” Giles looked inquisitively at Willow.
“Yes…” Anya said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “Didn’t you hear? Everybody has a date. Buffy has a date. Xander’s out with some hardware-store-whore. It’s Date Fest 2003,” Anya complained as she took a seat. “At least I know Kennedy got completely snubbed.”
“Hey!” said Kennedy with a pout.
“It’s okay, Kennedy.” Vi placed a supportive hand on the brunette’s shoulder. Dawn gave Vi a thumbs up while Kennedy’s head was turned.
“Thanks,” said Kennedy slowly, looking from Vi’s hand to her face, causing her to blush.
“And actually,” Willow said quickly to Giles, “Buffy’s investigating Principal Wood. It’s not a date.”
“Really?” said Giles.
Willow glanced around at Vi, Kennedy, and Amanda.
“Might be a date,” she said with a shrug.
“For God’s sake!” Giles half-shouted, startling everyone. “How can anyone think about their social life?” Vi hurriedly removed her hand from Kennedy’s a shoulder. “We are about to fight the original primal evil.”
“You know, I happen to think we can save the world and have social lives too,” Kennedy pointed out, smirking at Vi.
“These girls are in mortal danger,” Giles insisted, gesturing first to Kennedy and Vi, then Amanda. “We all are. Didn’t you see the flashcards?” He waved one of them. “This isn’t right.”
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“Did you get the gun?”
The First had resumed Jonathan’s shape and was speaking quietly to Andrew in the living room.
“Yes,” Andrew assured him nervously. “I also picked up some Mexican food; I’d forgotten how much I missed it.”
“Show me,” said The First.
“Well, I already ate it,” Andrew explained. “But there were burritos and-”
“Show me the gun,” The First interrupted.
“Oh.” Andrew held out a paper bag, opening it so The First could see. “Here. The guy said he was expecting me and that it was the same model he gave Warren.”
“Yeah, I paid him a visit,” said The First, “told him you were coming. Now, there’s gonna be panic and fleeing when you start firing, so you’re gonna have to get them trapped someplace like the basement.”
“And we’re killing them because…?”
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“So, we’re thinking it didn’t go to well,” Willow explained to Spike and Giles.
Dawn was helping Andrew remove the wires taped to his chest and he winced each time she pulled one off. Willow sat comfortably in a chair, opposite Amanda and Anya on the couch. Kennedy and Vi were sitting on the floor, passing Vi’s notebook back and forth after writing things in it.
“You should’ve let me do this fast,” Dawn insisted.
“No, no, no,” said Andrew. “I hate that. Ow.”
“You tried to record the ultimate evil?” Spike asked of Willow. “Why? In a complex effort to royally piss it off?”
“Guess we succeeded there, huh?” Anya commented.
“God, I never should have gone in wired,” Andrew whined. “Redemption is hard.”
“Getting back to Spike’s question,” said Giles, “why did you try to record it?”
“To study it,” Willow clarified. “To see if we could figure out something from what it was saying. Because, guys, we have to face it; we know nothing about The First.”
“Well, we know not to record it,” Anya said hopefully. “That’s something.” She frowned as Kennedy and Vi glanced in her direction and Vi started giggling.
“Why did it appear to this one, then?” Spike gestured to Andrew. “I thought it was supposed to be pulling my strings.”
“It said it wasn’t time for you yet,” Andrew answered. “Ow,” he added as Dawn pulled off the last piece of tape. “I’m frightened. And my chest hurts where the tape was.”
“It’s okay, Andrew,” Dawn told him reassuringly as he sat on the couch. “You did good. You stood up to it. That’s really amazing.”
“Thank you,” Andrew said warmly. “You’re a peach.”
“Yeah,” said Anya. “What did it want you to do anyway?”
“Shoot all the girls,” Andrew replied.
“Shoot girls?” Dawn asked nervously.
“Not you, just the potentials,” Andrew explained.
“Oh, well that’s something,” said Dawn in relief. “…Something tragic,” she added at a glance from Amanda.
“This proves my point,” Giles insisted. “This time is crucial. We should be circling the wagons instead of doing things like going out on dates when - when gunplay is imminent. Willow, call Buffy. Get her back here. We need to dispose of the gun and - and figure out our next move.”
“I’ll go get her,” Spike offered.
“I’ll call,” Willow told him. As she said it, her phone began ringing.
“Bet that’s her,” said Amanda. “Sometimes you’re thinking about calling someone-”
“No,” said Willow, “it’s a text message.” She paused to read it. “Oh, it’s from Xander. It’s one of our signals.”
“Signals?” Amanda prompted.
“Yeah, the system we set up a while back,” Willow told her. “Like codes. Uh, this one’s either ‘I just got lucky, don’t call me for a while’ or ‘my date’s a demon who’s trying to kill me.’”
“And those two are similar?” asked Amanda.
“They’re short signals,” said Willow. “And it was a long time ago.”
“Well, if we play the percentages…” Dawn suggested.
“Something’s eating Xander’s head,” Giles finished.
“Say, that’s gratifying,” Anya commented smugly.
“Buffy will know what to do,” Andrew offered.
“I’ll go get her,” Spike said again, turning toward the door.
“It’s okay,” Willow assured him. Spike sighed. Willow started dialing Buffy’s number. “We don’t even know where she went.” A phone rang on the table next to Willow. “That’s not good,” Willow said as she picked up the phone.
“I’ll go get Buffy,” Spike volunteered a third time. “I can probably still track her scent. She’ll be worried about the boy.”
“Spike,” Willow called after him as he started to walk out the door.
“Willow, you know I can-”
“Take the phone,” said Willow, tossing Buffy’s cell to the vampire. “I’m gonna do a locator spell to find Xander. I’ll call when I get a location.”
“Thanks.”
He left.
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“So you decided to tell me?” Buffy asked Principal Wood, still feeling completely floored by the fact that she was having a conversation with a Slayer’s son.
“That’s right,” Wood confirmed.
“In a darkened, little romantic French restaurant?” she questioned.
“Um, yeah…” Wood nodded awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m not really sure how that happened, but yeah…”
“I thought you were evil,” Buffy said quickly.
“Oh.” Robin’s face fell.
“That’s why I said yes,” she explained. “I was hoping to investigate you.”
“So you’re not really interested in…”
“Sorry,” Buffy told him with a half-smile. “I have a girlfriend.” She paused as she realized what she’d said. “Ooh, but don’t blab that around. We’re, uh, kinda private.”
“A girlfriend,” Wood said slowly. “Man, I know how to pick ‘em,” he mused.
“Oh, no, hey,” Buffy said reassuringly. “Bi,” she told him, pointing at herself. “I would’ve been really interested if I wasn’t already with someone.”
“Is that so?”
“Probably. I mean, you’ve definitely got a good look going for you.”
“Well, thanks for that,” he said with a smile. He leaned forward to take a bite of his food and then broke off, looking to his left.
Buffy followed Robin’s line of vision to see what he was staring at.
“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked Spike.
“Is there a problem,” Robin asked Buffy.
“It’s Xander,” Spike said shortly.
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*So what happened here tonight?* Buffy thought to Willow as they sat together on the couch, both feeling grim about the night’s events. *Giles seems majorly pissed.*
*The First stopped by,* Willow answered straight-forwardly.
*Oh my God. Is everyone okay?*
*We’re all fine,* Willow replied. *It tried to get Andrew to kill the girls though.*
*Wonderful.* Buffy rolled her eyes.
*He stood up to it though. He told Dawn that it was appearing to him again, Dawn told me, and he agreed to wear a wire.*
*A wire?* Buffy questioned. *Did you learn anything useful?*
*Not from the recording.* Willow sighed. *It didn’t work. But Andrew told us as much as he could remember. The First is trying to wipe out the Slayer line, which we already knew. And it said it wasn’t time - for Spike yet.*
Buffy echoed Willow’s sigh. The witch draped an arm over Buffy’s shoulder, but she shrugged it off.
*What if someone comes in?*
*Sorry.* Willow frowned.
You think Buffy needs you?
*Have you had any luck with the trigger research?*
*I’m trying, Buffy. Nothing solid yet though. I’m sorry.*
*It’s okay. We’ll figure something out eventually.*
*I love you, Buffy.*
*I love you too, Will.*
Willow rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder.
*Will,* Buffy cautioned.
*Sorry,* Willow thought again. *Can - can we go to your room? … Just for a little while.*
*You should try to get some sleep while you still can, Will.*
*I’d rather spend time with you.*
*Will, this thing’s about to come down. Giles was right; we need to be preparing.*
*Not disagreeing. Shouldn’t we be able to do both though? You remember that it’s okay to be Buffy too, right?*
*I want to, Will. I really do.*
*But you won’t.*
*I’m sorry.*
*Please,* Willow tried. *Buffy, I - can’t we have one night? Or an hour? Or something? I wanna hold you.*
*I can’t let go, Will. I can’t let go right now ‘cause I’m afraid I won’t be able to grab hold again.*
She can’t do her job…
*One kiss?*
*…Okay.*
Willow leaned in and quickly captured the Slayer’s lips. Buffy kissed back hungrily and their lips moved sinuously against each other. The sound of footsteps broke them apart sooner than either of them would have preferred. Willow sighed heavily, standing up. The intruding presence turned out to be Anya.
“Oh,” she said as she saw Willow and Buffy pulling apart. “Hi.”
“Hey, Anya,” Willow offered. “I was just about to go to bed.”
*I love you, Willow,* Buffy thought, smiling encouragingly.
*I love you too.* Willow smiled back.
“How’s Xander doing?” Willow asked Anya, moving toward the stairs.
“I’ve seen worse,” Anya admitted, following Willow.
“And how are you doing?” Willow stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “With the - the changeable but intense emotions and all?”
“I’ve felt worse,” Anya said sadly.
“Want a hug?”
“That would actually be nice,” Anya decided.
Willow leaned forward and embraced the ex-demon, needing the supportive gesture just as much as Anya did.
“I hope you feel better soon,” Willow told her.
The front door opened.
“Thank you, Willow,” Anya replied as they pulled apart.
They turned to see Kennedy and Vi coming in from the night.
“Hey,” Kennedy greeted.
“Out late?” Willow questioned, glancing from Kennedy to Vi.
“Walking and talking,” Kennedy answered casually. “Vi’s pretty cool when you get to know her.” The pale girl blushed, but said nothing.
“Ohhh,” said Anya as she continued past the stairs.
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Buffy wasn’t sure how long she’d been on the couch. A blank stare covered her face as her mind tried to grind the information she had acquired throughout the night. Her head turned as Spike came into the room. He took a seat next to her, looking pensive.
“Did anybody tell you about what happened here tonight?” the vampire asked her.
“Willow did.” Buffy sighed. “The First is back in the mix.”
“It, uh, it talked to the little boy,” Spike told her. “Said it wasn’t time for me yet.” Buffy made no reply. “I should move out,” Spike said bluntly. “Leave town before it is time for me.”
“No, you have to stay,” Buffy answered quietly.
“You’ve got another demon fighter now,” Spike dismissed.
“That’s not why I need you here,” Buffy corrected him.
“Is that right?” Spike couldn’t help but smirk. “Why’s that, then?”
“’Cause I’m not ready for you to not be here.”
“So that wouldn’t be a mixed signal at all, then,” Spike challenged.
“It’s not supposed to be, Spike,” Buffy informed him. “But I understand why it feels that way to you. It means more to you because you love me.”
Spike stared at her blankly.
“Never thought you’d admit that, Slayer.”
“I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way,” Buffy said sadly.
“Don’t lose sleep over it, pet. Like I said before, I’m alright.”
“I do feel for you, Spike,” she responded. “I care about you. It’s not what you want, but it’s real. I’m gonna need all the support I can get and you’re a real help to me. I know it’s not fair to you, but I need you in my corner. Will you stay?”
“Any luck with the trigger?” Spike prompted.
“Willow’s working on it. We’ll figure it out.”
“Don’t let me hurt anyone,” he cautioned.
“So you’ll stay?”
“You need to know that it’s not-”
“Not forever?” Buffy interrupted. “Is this the part where you tell me that you’ll stay for the fight, but then you have to leave because it’s too hard to be around me?”
“Uh, more or less,” Spike said quietly. Buffy smiled and shook her head. “Something funny, then?”
“You wouldn’t like it,” Buffy warned him.
“What?” Spike insisted.
“That’s pretty much what Angel said before he left,” Buffy answered.
“Oh balls.” Spike got to his feet and held his jacket open. “Stake me now.”
Buffy just shook her head.
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“Hey,” Kennedy said softly as she entered the room. “Books?”
Willow was sitting on the floor by her sleeping bag, her laptop and an assortment of books spread out in front of her.
“Hey,” she said quietly, remaining focused on a volume that she was holding.
“What’re those for?” Kennedy asked, shrugging out of her coat.
“Research,” Willow muttered.
“Researching what?” Kennedy prompted further.
“Triggers,” the witch said quickly, still not taking her eyes away from the book.
“So you’re trying to help Spike,” the potential Slayer surmised. “Is that all there is to it though?”
“Don’t,” Willow said shortly.
“I just can’t help but wonder why, Willow,” Kennedy pointed out. “Because you’re not usually buried in the books this late at night.”
“Stop it,” Willow snapped, turning a page.
“You’re usually doing something else by this time.”
“I need to do this,” Willow insisted.
“Okay,” Kennedy acknowledged. “But are you doing it for Spike or because you need an escape?”
“Yes,” Willow answered irritably.
“I think you know that won’t work forever,” Kennedy reasoned. “It’ll catch up to you sooner or later.”
“Stop.” Willow’s voice cracked as she said it.
“Willow, I think you really need to talk about it.” She placed a hand on the witch’s shoulder. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
“I-I need to research.” Willow shrugged off Kennedy’s hand.
“I don’t understand why you’re so loyal to her.”
“Her?” Willow questioned, shifting so she could type something into her laptop.
“Your insensitive bitch of a girlfriend,” Kennedy said angrily. “Why would you wanna be with someone who hurts you like this?”
“I told you before, you don’t know her.” She frowned at the laptop screen and flipped through more pages in one of the books. “She doesn’t hurt me.”
“So that’s why you’re cracking the books in the middle of the night?” Kennedy sat on the floor at the foot of the bed.
“You know what The First said,” countered the witch. “This needs to be done.”
“Or I could just go downstairs and put a stake in his heart ‘cause - that also solves the problem.”
“Buffy needs him,” said Willow tonelessly.
“Maybe for the sex,” Kennedy retorted, “but we’ve got lots of people who can fight demons.”
“She’s not having sex with Spike,” Willow said flatly.
“If you say so.” Kennedy rolled her eyes disbelievingly. “But getting back to your so-called girlfriend.”
“So-called?”
“Willow, you fall apart at the end of every day,” Kennedy said plainly. “What does she do to you?”
“It’s not like that.” She turned another page.
“So tell me what it is like, then,” Kennedy persisted. “Let me help you. It doesn’t have to mean anything romantic; I just think you need some support.”
“I’m fine,” Willow answered.
“Let’s look up fine.” Kennedy grabbed a book and opened it at random. “Oh look, definition number one: Not Willow.” She shut the book with a snap. “It’s not fair of her to let you feel this way even if she’s not causing it. She should be holding you and comforting you and supporting you.”
“I don’t want her to worry about me. This is a me issue and she doesn’t need the burden.”
“What?” Kennedy exclaimed, hand returning again to Willow’s shoulder. “You mean you haven’t even told her how you feel?”
“Kennedy, don’t.” Willow pushed her hand away a second time. “You don’t understand this, okay. Let me deal with it my way.”
“Willow, crying yourself to sleep every night is not dealing with it,” Kennedy argued. “Don’t you even feel like you can talk to her?”
“She has other things on her mind,” Willow defended. “Especially tonight. She doesn’t need to feel guilty on top of everything else.”
“Guilty?” Kennedy asked. “So then it is something she did.” Willow didn’t answer. “Or something she does… Or something she doesn’t do.”
“Damn it!” Willow shut her book and threw it across the room, tears finally springing to her eyes. “Why’d you have to push it?” she demanded. “I was doing fine.”
“I think we already covered that,” Kennedy reminded her.
“I’m handling it.”
“Hiding it, you mean,” Kennedy challenged. “And whatever it is, you won’t take it to her, so it must be her fault.”
“It’s not anybody’s fault,” Willow contradicted. “She doesn’t need my problems.”
“Willow, if she cares about you at all, she’d want to support you.”
“She - I…” Willow trailed off, drying her eyes with her shirt sleeves. “Tell me about Vi,” she requested.
“What?” Kennedy was thrown by the sudden change of direction. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing,” Willow stated. “Nothing at all. That’s the point.”
“Willow-”
“You wanna help me, talk to me,” Willow insisted. “Just talk to me, okay? There’s no solution right now, so please just help me not think about it.”
“I don’t think-”
“Please,” Willow repeated softly. “Please.”
“There’s not really much to tell,” Kennedy admitted.
“She’s interested, right?”
“I think even a Bringer could see that,” Kennedy pointed out. “She seems to think she’s being subtle though. She still hasn’t really brought anything up.”
“What have you guys been talking about then?” Willow asked in confusion.
“All the safe stuff,” said Kennedy with a sigh. “Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“Well, we spent a little time trying to - guess who you’re girlfriend is.”
“Oh.” Willow frowned. “Wait, you got to that and she didn’t manage to slip in that she’s totally gay for you.”
“She’s pretty much closeted,” Kennedy replied with a shrug. “Probably got in trouble for it back home or something. I’m letting her work up to it. She’ll get there in her own time.”
“Funny,” Willow commented, “I kinda got the impression that you liked to make the first move.”
“Different girl, different approach,” Kennedy informed her.
“So, are you interested back?”
“I think so,” said Kennedy thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m still getting to know her, but I like what I’ve seen.”
“A-and are you - still interested in me?”
“I don’t know,” Kennedy answered. “Do you want me to be?”
“That came out wrong,” Willow realized. “I just - I mean it was kinda flattering. I-it’s nice to feel wanted.”
“Doesn’t your girlfriend make you feel wanted?” Kennedy challeneged.
“I - that’s not… I wonder if Vi feels wanted,” she countered.
“I doubt she’s losing any sleep over me,” said the potential Slayer. “Well, maybe losing sleep,” she corrected with a grin, “but not crying her eyes out or anything.”
“You’re supposed to be distracting me,” Willow reminded her.
“Why don’t you try talking about it?” Kennedy said gently. “Sometimes it helps to let it out.”
“I can’t, Kennedy. Please don’t push this.”
“Okay,” said the brunette quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“So…I wonder why Vi decided to make a move.”
“She hasn’t really made a move,” Kennedy responded. “She’s just being friendly.”
“Still, it’s more than she was doing before,” Willow offered. “She used to just stare at you.”
“She did?” Kennedy questioned. “I never really noticed.”
“Yeah, well you were-”
They were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.
“Yeah?” Kennedy called out. There was no answer.
The potential Slayer stood and went to open the door. Sticking her head out, she looked both ways down the hall.
“Anyone there?” Willow asked her.
“No,” Kennedy replied in confusion. “Oh,” she added, looking down. “There’s a stuffed animal.”
“Something from Vi, maybe?” Willow suggested.
“Must be.” Kennedy stooped to pick up the thing. “There’s a note too.” She shut the door and glanced at the note. “Oh…”
“What is it?”
Kennedy silently held out a stuffed pig and a piece of paper bearing a message of two words.
‘For Willow.’
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