FIC: Closer to the Heart - Chapter 13
Title: Closer to the Heart
Chapter 13: Lies my Parents Told Me
Rating: R?
Warnings: Femslash (explicit-ish, but not as explicit as it could be) and suggestive dialogue. Other than that, if you're not offended by the episode, you shouldn't be offended by this fic.
Summary: Willow takes a trip. Giles and Robin try to kill Spike. Buffy takes a trip.
A/N: I'm taking my cue from the show and not mentioning Connor at all, assuming we view the world as it is after Angel's bargain with Wolfram & Hart. For those wondering why I'm bringing up Connor and Angel, this would be the episode when Willow goes to L.A. This chapter starts during 'LMPTM' and ends during the AtS episode 'Orpheus' which my timeline has happening concurrently. Assume Willow puts Angel's soul back in at close to the same time that Spike overcomes his trigger. This chapter ends sometime after the soul and before Willow and Faith leave for Sunnydale.
:::
Willow stirred groggily after a night of deep, contented sleep. It was early morning by the dim glow of the sun outside her window. It was a moment before she registered the fact that two people were whispering nearby.
"Hey," she heard Kennedy's voice, "I think she's waking up."
Slowly, she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Morning, witchy woman," Kennedy called out.
"Hi, Willow," said the second whisperer.
Looking over, Willow saw Kennedy and Vi next to each other, sitting up against the headboard of the bed. The bruise on Kennedy's face had almost completely faded. Vi looked more comfortable than usual with one of Kennedy's arms draped over her shoulder.
"H-h-hey," Willow answered, yawning.
"I'm - uh - I'm kind of surprised you're in here," Kennedy pointed out.
"Giving her time," Willow answered, knowing what Kennedy meant. "Did you guys want some privacy?"
"We're fine," Vi responded.
"We've just been up all night talking," added Kennedy. "You - seemed to sleep pretty soundly," she said pointedly.
"Warm, safe, and whole," Willow supplied. "All is right with the world."
"I should've interfered weeks ago," said Kennedy smugly.
"It worked out for the best," said Willow. "I'm not exactly thrilled with what it took to get there, but it worked out - so thanks." The witch stood and stretched.
"Sorry if we woke you up," Vi offered apologetically.
"Don't worry about it," Willow dismissed. "I think Giles is coming back today. I'm probably gonna end up having to do some mojo so I should be up and ready."
:::
"So Spike's trigger's been active this entire time?" Kennedy noted, sitting on the arm of the couch as Willow examined Dawn's injuries.
"Scary," Vi supplemented, standing next to Kennedy.
"How can Buffy take this for granted?" Rona demanded from near the doorway. "I mean, he lives in our house. We train with him."
"Don't waste your time down that road," said Anya from her seat in the chair opposite the couch. "Spike's got some sort of get-out-of-jail-free-card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean, he could slaughter a hundred frat boys and…" Anya broke off at disapproving looks from Willow and Xander. "Forgiveness makes us human. Blah-dee-blah-blah-blah."
"You guys need to trust Buffy," Willow told them. "She won't let him hurt any of you. And we'll get that trigger taken care of."
"Uh, Willow…" Andrew interrupted, "call for you from L.A. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate."
:::
"Buffy?" Willow requested softly as she entered the basement. The Slayer left Wood and Giles, crossing to the witch's side. "Hey, I, uh, just got a phone call. I'm gonna have to take off for a while."
"What?" Buffy questioned.
"Maybe a day or two," added Willow.
"What's wrong?" Buffy asked sharply.
"Nothing you need to worry about," Willow assured her.
"Willow," Buffy said flatly.
"Really this time. If it's okay with you, I'd rather wait until later to tell you."
"How much later?"
"After the apocalypse?" Willow tried.
"No."
"How about after I get back?" she suggested alternatively.
"Why don't you wanna tell me?" Buffy requested levelly.
"Because I think you'll worry," Willow admitted.
"Remember our conversation about sharing the worrying?"
"But I'm not worried, Buffy," pledged the witch. "Not even a little. And you shouldn't have to either, but I know you will. Let me tell you after I've solved the problem, okay?"
"Problem?"
"Little problem," answered Willow. "Nothing I haven't done before. It's nothing that hurts me or makes me worry. No secret lesbians and no mortal danger."
"A day or two?" asked Buffy with a pout.
"I'll try to be back tonight if I can. Focus on helping Spike," she suggested.
*And I think he'll make more progress if you unchain him,* the witch added mentally. *He's not gonna move forward if he feels pressured. The stone did its job, but he's not done yet. I'm sure he'll appreciate your support.*
"Do you have to go?" Buffy grasped her lover's hand and pulled her closer.
"I'll be back soon. Maybe I'll even bring back some good news," she offered.
"Could use a little of that." Sighing heavily, she met Willow's eyes. "Okay. I guess now is as good a time as we're likely to see for a while. Just hurry back, okay? I'll miss you." Leaning in, she softly kissed the witch. "I love you, Willow."
"I love you too."
"Hurry back," the Slayer repeated as Willow turned back toward the stairs.
"Will do."
:::
Buffy pinned the vamp to the ground and prepared to plunge her stake into his heart.
"Don't kill him yet," Giles called out.
"What?" questioned the Slayer. "Why not?"
"Because, I'm asking you not to," Giles explained impatiently. Buffy rolled off of the vamp and they began trading blows again. "Would you let this vampire live if he began saving the world," the Watcher prompted.
"Sure," said Buffy as she punched the monster's face. "Seems like a nice enough guy."
"Thanks," said the vamp with a smile.
"No problem," Buffy commented casually.
"My name's Richard."
"Hi, Rich." The Slayer knocked him over with another punch. "Giles, we had this conversation," Buffy pointed out, "when I told you that I wouldn't sacrifice Dawn to stop Glory from destroying the world."
"Ah, yes, but things are different, aren't they?" Giles began to pace as he spoke. "After what you've been through, faced with the same choice now, you'd let her die."
"Maybe," Buffy corrected. "If I had to…to save the world. Probably. Not exactly plan A though."
Richard leapt up behind Buffy and resumed his attack.
"Can I kill this guy yet?" Buffy requested as the vamp attempted to strangle her.
"No," replied Giles. Buffy rolled Richard over her shoulders and they started going blow for blow again. "So, do you really understand the difficult decisions you'll have to make? That any one of us is expendable in this war?"
"Have you heard my speeches?" asked Buffy in exasperation.
"That we cannot allow any threat that would jeopardize our chances of winning?"
"Yes, I get it," said Buffy, throwing out a few more punches.
"And yet there is Spike."
Richard tackled Buffy.
:::
"Spike's a liability, Buffy," said Giles as he continued to pace. "He refuses to see it and so do you. Angel left here because he realized how harmful your relationship with him was. Spike, on the other hand, lacks such self-awareness."
Buffy elbowed Richard in the face.
"Why do you talk about him like that?" the Slayer demanded. "Why are you so worried about him? What about Willow? She tried to destroy the world. Aren't you even a little worried about how I'd handle it if she went dark again?"
"I know what you know about Willow," Giles answered as Buffy and Richard fought some more. "She's stronger than her power now, whether she realizes it or not."
"And Spike's stronger than the demon," Buffy countered.
"I've seen no such indication," Giles argued. "Your feelings for him are showing you what you want to see."
"How many," punch, "times," punch, "do I have to tell you?" She dropped the vamp to his back again. "Things are different now."
"It doesn't matter if you're not physical with each other," protested Giles, "there's a connection. You rely on him, he relies on you. That's what's affecting your judgment."
"My judgment's as fine as ever, Giles." She kicked Richard in the face as he moved to get up. "Yes, I love him. Just like Dawn, or Xander, or you. He supports me. He's here because I want him here. We need him. I'm in the fight of my life."
"Really?" asked the vamp hopefully, having gotten to his feet again.
"Not you, Richard." Buffy punched him.
"You want Spike here even after what he's done to you in the past?" prompted the Watcher.
"It's different now. He has a soul."
"And The First is exploiting that to its advantage," said Giles.
"Oh my God." Buffy staked the vampire. "You're stalling me." Buffy's eyes widened in anger and pain. "Keeping me away from…"
"It's time to stop playing the role of general and start being one." Buffy ran past him. "This is the way wars are won!"
:::
"He's alive," Buffy informed Giles coldly. "Spike's alive. Wood failed."
"Well, that doesn't change anything," Giles reasoned. "What I told you is still true. You need to learn-"
"No," said the Slayer quietly. "I think you've taught me everything I need to know."
And she shut the door in his face. As she heard his footsteps retreating, Buffy sank wearily to the floor, back pressed against her bedroom door. Her fingers entrenched themselves in her hair, resisting the enormity of the betrayal that weighed heavily on her mind. Buffy felt violated. That Giles could be a part of plotting behind her back, abuse his position as her mentor, betray her trust…
She barely had a moment to think before there was a soft knock at the door.
"Go away," she snapped moodily.
"Buffy, phone's for you." It was Andrew on the other side of the door. "It's Willow," he added.
Buffy quickly stood and opened the door. Andrew quietly passed her the phone; he looked concerned as he examined Buffy's face.
"Thanks," said Buffy shortly before shutting the door again. "Hey," her tone warmed as she spoke into the receiver.
"Hey," Willow replied.
"God, it's so good to hear your voice," said Buffy as she got into her bed and stretched out comfortably.
"Rough day?" asked the witch.
"With extra helpings of rough," Buffy answered. "How about you? You gonna tell me where you're at?"
"Actually, yeah." Willow sounded nervous, much as she had done before she left. "I kinda need to tell you."
"Need to?"
"I'm in L.A."
Buffy tensed. Just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any more complicated, life always had one more challenge to throw at her.
"Fred asked me to come," Willow explained.
"Fred," Buffy strained her brain, "that's the black guy, right?"
"No," Willow laughed. "Fred's that cute, thin girl with the glasses."
"Cute?" Buffy questioned.
"Bookworm-y," Willow added. "You'd like her."
"I like you," Buffy countered.
"Jealous?"
"Yes," Buffy replied promptly. "But I'm assuming you're not in L.A. to pick up chicks."
"You assume correctly," the witch confirmed.
"So, what's the sitch?"
"They asked me to come because…" there was a pause. "They asked me to re-ensoul Angel."
"He lost his soul?" Buffy half-shouted in shock. "Who?"
"No who," Willow assured her quickly. "They took it out with black magic."
"Why?" Buffy tried.
"Some kind of memory was wiped from Angel, but not Angelus." Pause. "Yeah, it didn't make much sense to me either."
"So, they took his soul out and then what? They forgot how to put it back in?"
"Something went wrong."
"Big surprise."
"I know, right," Willow agreed. "Apparently they - misplaced the jar they put it in."
"That would almost be funny if it wasn't so serious."
"Yeah. I sorted it out though. Came up with this idea to smash the jar and return his soul to the ether. It was kind of a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself."
"My Willow's got a beautiful brain."
"Thanks."
"So you're done now, right?" asked Buffy. "You're coming home?"
"Almost immediately," Willow affirmed. "I thought I should call first though…because I'm bringing someone with me."
"It's not Fred, right?" Buffy teased.
"No," Willow giggled appreciatively. "Buffy, you're probably not gonna like it. We need people though and I think she can be really helpful if you let her."
"She?"
"Faith," Willow admitted.
Always one more thing.
"Willow, when I said we needed fighters I didn't mean go break people out of prison."
"I didn't break her out," Willow defended indignantly. "Wesley did."
"Wesley?" Buffy asked in surprise. Why did nothing make sense anymore?
"They needed someone to help bring Angel in alive and they didn't really wanna bother you with it…"
"So their first thought was Faith?" Buffy questioned incredulously.
"She's different, Buffy," Willow said quietly. "Better. She almost died saving Angel. We're the good guys because we forgive people, right?"
"I - yeah," Buffy sighed. "If you wanna be all reasonable about it - then yeah."
"I thought it would probably be best to tell you first," Willow explained. "Didn't want you to start throwin' out the punches when you saw her."
"Does that mean I'm not allowed to punch her?"
"Only if she does something really stupid."
"Well, that shouldn't take long," Buffy said hopefully.
"Come on, Buffy," Willow reasoned. "If you expect the worst then you know you're gonna see it."
"I'm in a really punch-y mood," Buffy informed the witch. "It feels like everything's piling up all at once."
"I'm sorry," Willow offered sympathetically. "I wish it was easier for you."
"I wish you were here," Buffy lamented longingly.
"I'll be home soon, I promise."
"You on a cell phone?"
"No."
"Mmm," Buffy whined. "You need to be driving."
"I miss you too," Willow pledged. "Wanna tell me about your day?"
"Yes and no," Buffy admitted sadly. "I wanna tell you, but I'm not really looking forward to reliving it."
"I'm here for you," said Willow. "Well, here on the phone," she clarified.
"I feel so betrayed right now," Buffy began tonelessly.
"Betrayed?" Willow was clearly alarmed. "Buffy, what happened? Is everyone okay?"
"Yeah, everyone's fine," Buffy said reassuringly. "Well, Principal Wood's a little roughed up, but he'll live."
"What happened?" Willow asked again.
"Robin," Buffy said slowly, "Robin and - and…Giles." Buffy's voice cracked and her eyes began to water.
"Giles?" Willow sounded concerned.
"Willow," Buffy said thickly, "they tried - they tried to kill Spike."
"Oh, Buffy." Willow's tone was laden with concern for her lover.
"God, Will, it hurts so much," Buffy sobbed.
"Oh, baby, I wish I could hold you," Willow told her sadly.
"Me too," said Buffy. "I-I understand why Robin did it - Spike killed his mother." Willow made no reply. "But - but Giles - he was supposed to - I trusted him." The Slayer rolled over onto her side and punched her pillow restlessly. "God, I hate this feeing."
"I wish I could make it better," Willow vowed. Buffy only continued to sob. "I love you, Buffy."
"I love you too," Buffy responded feebly, cuddling up closer to her pillow. "Can you teleport?"
"Not with any accuracy yet," the witch answered.
"How accurate?"
"If I aimed for Sunnydale, I'd probably end up in Brazil."
"I wish I lived in Brazil."
"I'll come home quick," Willow assured her. "If you want, I can even break the speed limit. Ooh, and I can hypnotize the police officers when they pull me over to make them think Faith's in labor in the backseat."
Buffy chuckled weakly.
"Your voice helps," the Slayer said softly.
"I love you."
"That helps too."
"I can call back from a cell phone if you want."
"I'm not too keen on Faith listening to you comfort me. Just stay on for a little bit," the Slayer requested.
"As long as you want."
"Tell me something."
"What d'you wanna know?"
"Anything," said Buffy. "Just let me hear you talk."
"Okay," Willow answered. "Well, I used a lot of magic today and I actually felt kind of okay with it."
"I'm glad."
"It was like this weird sense of - familiarity," the witch decided. "That spell was the first one I ever did. Before that it was a little scary, but not as scary as I expected it to be."
"Things rarely are," Buffy pointed out.
"Yeah. I was nervous at first, but I totally played it cool."
"Were you assertive?"
"I was super-assertive. All bad-ass and in charge."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And there was this floating demon head thing and the hotel started shaking, but I totally stared it down. I was like, 'this hotel's not big enough for the two of us.'"
"Did you really say that?" Buffy questioned.
"No. But I wish I had. The point is, I totally kicked ass."
"No one messes with my wicked witch."
"Damn straight."
"Will - where are you at right now?"
"At Angel's hotel," Willow replied confusion.
"No, but where?" Buffy insisted.
"Top floor, as far away from the rest of the group as possible."
"Really?" asked Buffy delightedly.
"Yeah. Too many super-hearing people. I didn't really think it was their business what we talk about."
"Does Angel know?" Buffy questioned. "About us?"
"I don't know. He hasn't said anything."
"And what d'you mean too many super-hearing people? How many are there?"
"At least three, maybe more. I assume Faith can hear better than most people. And there's this guy Lorne. A-and Cordy's part demon now."
"Cordy? Part demon?" L.A. was like a different planet sometimes. "What exactly does that mean?"
"I don't know. I don't think they really do either."
"But you did say they're all far away right now, right?" Buffy verified.
"Yes," Willow said slowly.
"You're alone?"
"Yes."
"I'm alone," Buffy pointed out.
"Buffy, I think I know where you're going with this, but I don't wanna put my foot in my mouth. So…could ya tell me where you're going with this?"
"I'm going - south," Buffy informed her.
"South?"
"Mm-hm."
"How far south?"
"Near the equator. Someplace where it's really warm."
"What about your super-hearing person?" Willow asked suddenly.
"Out for a walk," Buffy announced. "Oh and de-triggered, by the way. Your spell worked in the end."
"Good."
"He didn't say anything, but I think he needed time to cool down after - everything." She gasped once.
"What was that?"
"It was a gasp," Buffy answered coyly.
"Did something happen?"
"Something good."
"Good?"
"Traveler reached the destination," Buffy told her.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," Buffy sighed.
"So did the traveler find a good beach?"
"Beach?"
"Yeah, you know. Near the equator, warm…and wet."
"Yeah, the traveler's on the beach."
"And does the traveler like the beach?"
"Mm-hm. The waves feel nice," Buffy commented. "And what about you? Traveling anywhere?"
"I think I'll put off my trip until later. Maybe we could take a tour together."
"I like the sound of that."
"And sometimes anticipating a trip can make it even more fun."
"I'll make sure your trip is amazing."
"I look forward to it," said Willow.
"I've been doing some thinking," Buffy added casually. "Maybe Faith should stay in your room."
There was a long pause.
"My room? Hmm," the witch pondered pretentiously. "My room's already kinda crowded."
"Well, maybe we could kick someone else out."
"I think Kennedy might complain if you made her move downstairs," Willow teased.
"Wasn't talking about Kennedy."
"You mean it? Really?"
"Really," Buffy said solemnly. "I want you to move into my room, Will."
"I love you, Buffy."
"Ahh God," the Slayer groaned pleasurably.
"Trip's going well then?"
"Oh yeah. I think the tide is coming in."
"And does the traveler like the tide?"
"Traveler's a good swimmer."
"And is the moon doing its part?"
"The moon?" Buffy questioned.
"Yeah. Even though the moon's really far away from the beach, it has all this gravity that brings in the tides."
"There would be no tide without the moon," Buffy stated.
"The moon likes to be helpful."
"I wish the moon was closer."
"But then the tides would go crazy."
"Failing to see the bad," Buffy pointed out.
"Guess that one doesn't hold up."
"You know what the gravity is?"
"What's the gravity?"
"The gravity is how the moon shows its love."
"I love you, Buffy."
"Gravity works wonders," Buffy moaned.
"I love you."
"Ah."
"I love you."
"Ah!"
"I love you."
Buffy pressed her face into her pillow and let out a long, low moan. It was a moment before she reaffirmed her presence by breathing heavily into the receiver.
"Nice trip?" Willow asked.
"Incredible," Buffy answered contentedly. "Thank you, Willow. That really helped."
"I'm glad," said Willow warmly.
"You really need to make with the hurrying home now," Buffy insisted. "If you're not here before the next tide comes in, I'm gonna drown you."
"From an imagery standpoint, that doesn't really sound like a punishment," Willow answered.
"Well, in that case I won't drown you unless you hurry," Buffy decided. "And I won't give you a tongue lashing either."
"I'll be home before you know it," Willow assured her.
"I love you, Willow."
"I love you too."
"Mwah." Buffy made a kissing noise into the receiver.
"Mwah," Willow returned. "See you soon."
:::
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