Old World New World - CC - Oneshot
Title::..Old World New World
Reality::..Lost - AU, if they got off the island at the end of season three
Spoilers::..The 23rd Pslam
Rating::..PG for adult themes
Genre::..Drama
Characters::..Claire and Charlie
Author's Note::..Lost fic number 97. I stole the title from an INXS(exies) song, off the album Shabooh Shoobah. It was awesome when it was released in 1982 and it's still awesome now.
I started this on Thursday, after I finished my Society and Culture exam within the first hour I needed something to do and this spilled out of me. Very dramatic. We'll pretend Charlie never died on the island and they got off, but did happily ever after ever come...?
Summary::..Today was the day Charlie was getting out of rehab, can Charlie and Claire's relationship survive in the real world?
Today was the day Charlie was getting out of rehab. It was marked on the calendar, not in those words of course. But Aaron had marked it up on the calendar, over-joyed about Charlie’s return. Meanwhile the date was permanently tattooed on Claire’s brain, there was no way she would ever have forgotten it.
She stared at the black numbers in front of her, messy appointments scribbled underneath. Where had all of those days gone? To sleepless nights and one-too-many-coffee days.
Charlie had been in rehab for two months. Claire had thought it would be good; she would get time to re-assess this whole situation and figure out what she wanted. Except she didn’t feel as if she had accomplished anything. She didn’t know what to do about Charlie now anymore than she had two months ago.
‘It’s complicated’, it was a piss-weak excuse. But it was the truth. And it was the only answer she could give Aaron when he asked why Charlie had to go away.
She had spent sleepless nights and endless days wondering what she would do when this day came. Yet here it was and she had no answers. Absolutely none. There were no solutions, no ideas. They had not appeared magically the way she had foolishly hoped they would.
It certainly was complicated. Her boyfriend had a problem with drugs. He swore he only took them when he was on tour with his band. But she had found baggies of it lying around the house much too often. She didn’t want that kind of crap around her son. Neither did she want a junkie around.
The simple solution would be to throw Charlie out.
But it was never simple when it came to Charlie. Yes, he was a drug addict - and she had her doubts about what eight weeks in Mattel’s ‘My First Prison’ would do about that. But she loved him. They had fallen in love while he was clean and since then he had been like her own personal drug. She knew she should kick the habit but she was too far in love with him. He also had a way of making her feel guilty as soon as she so much as thought of getting him out of her life.
She was trying to build a life here and raise her son the right way. She couldn’t wink at Charlie’s drug use if she wanted to set a good example for Aaron. If Aaron weren’t completely convinced the sun shone out of Charlie’s butt then Claire figured it would be much easier to expel him from their lives. But keeping Aaron happy and doing the right thing were two very different things.
Sometimes she thought it might have been easier if they had never left the island. At times it had felt almost like hell. But the real world wasn’t that great either.
There had been a lot of disadvantages of living on a deserted island. But there had also been a few advantages. The main one being a very limited amount of heroin. They had had to depend on each other on the island. They had needed to trust each other to stay alive on the island. It had been them against the world.
Now it felt more like them against each other. There had been no rock bands to go on reunion tours with on the island. His dumb-ass friends hadn’t been there waving the white powder under his nose until he succumbed either. There were too many temptations in the real world. It had been easier to live with him on the island, even if they had been living in a tent.
Would she take him in? Could she keep him out of her life? Out of Aaron’s life? He was a part of their family, almost like the glue keeping it all together.
She loved him. There was no denying it. But she wasn’t ready for him to come home. Her mind was constantly jumping to the worst conclusion. She was beginning to question whether she should go pick him up from the rehab or not. A big part of her didn’t want to.
His voice floated into her mind. He was coming down (and quick). He had never seemed more like a junkie than he did on that night. ‘You have to help me Claire, please, you have to help me’. She could see him, curled up in the corner, chewing his already bleeding thumbnail and crying. Crying like a child. His eyes were like roadmaps; it was impossible to see any white amongst all that red.
‘I need you to take care of me Claire, please’, he begged.
The night was clear in her mind. She could remember everything vividly. She could replay everything she had said and all the babbling he had done. Mostly she could remember her own feeling of complete helplessness.
She supposed she would have to pick him up from the rehab centre. She doubted anyone else would be there for him. She had to be there for him.
With a few annoyed huffs and puffs she picked up her car keys. She couldn’t avoid him forever. Exactly as it had been on the island when she had gotten rid of him for drug use she knew she would have to face him sooner or later.
Except this time she was daring to make the first step to him. She had never done that before.
xXx
Claire had been to the centre four times over the past eight weeks. Never with Aaron. She didn’t want him anywhere near a place like this. So she took a couple of hours off work to visit Charlie while Aaron was at school. And this time was no different.
She hated this place. Not only because of the lack of scenery and the drab colours on the walls. It was what it represented. She hadn’t been able to take care of him. She felt as if she had failed him. She wasn’t sure what she could have done to keep him clean. But she was certain something could have been done to prevent all of this.
As she walked through to the reception desk she wondered what people were thinking about her as she passed. She considered they might think she was a junkie, committing herself. Or maybe they all knew exactly who she was - a failure.
She didn’t know how she would ever be able to look Charlie in the eyes. Walking to the desk, drawing ever closer, the thought of turning around and running for the door popped into her head. She knew she could, it would be so simple. If she ran now no one would know and this would all be over. But what would she tell Aaron? So she kept walking straight forward.
The receptionist recognized her and greeted her with a smile. “Good morning Claire.”
She forced herself to return the smile. “Hey.”
“Charlie has been talking about this all week. He is just so excited. He can’t wait to get home and see that little boy of yours.” The receptionist informed her.
“Aw, well Aaron can’t wait to see him either.” Claire replied.
The receptionist had placed some papers and a pen in front of Claire. “If you’ll just sign those, I’ll go get Charlie from his room.”
Claire nodded, keeping her mouth sealed against a melodramatic sigh she could feel building. The receptionist turned and left. Claire collected the pen and positioned it on the paper.
Suddenly she was reminded of being in the adoption office, preparing to sign her baby away. She knew she had to do it but she didn’t entirely want to. She paused, for only a second and then began to sign. No turning back now.
Unlike six years ago the pen worked perfectly. No signals of whether she should do it or not. It glided smoothly across the page, until her name was scrawled across the straight black line.
The sigh escaped her lips as she pushed the signed paper back across the desk, for the new receptionist to collect. She smiled politely to Claire. “Thank you Miss Littleton, if you would like to take a seat it should only be another minute or so.”
“Okay.” She replied, hoping she sounded grateful rather than what she was actually feeling at the moment.
She took a seat on an empty couch. More eyes followed her as she did so. She guessed some of them might recognize her from all of the photos the magazines had printed of her with the other survivors. Or they might have seen the TV special Oprah’s people had paid them five thousand each to do.
It had been six years since they had been rescued. But she was recognized occasionally while shopping and taking Aaron to school. It didn’t happen too much, definitely nowhere near as much as Kate was spotted. She liked to think this was why these people were watching her.
Realistically she knew they were looking at her to suss out who she was. They wanted to know why she was here. When Charlie came toward her they would know she was here because she had failed him. She was here to soothe her conscience and they would all know it. She bowed her head to avoid eye contact with all of the people around her.
These were not the kind of people she wanted to socialize with. Why did she have to be here anyway?
Charlie began down the stairs, dragging his luggage behind him. Oh right, she was here because she was the idiot who was in love with him. She sure felt like an idiot as she stood up to greet him.
He looked terrible. He was thinner than she had ever seen him. His cheeks were gaunt, making his eyes seem much wider than usual. Untouched by dying agents his hair had turned a shade of dark brown.
His reaction to her was exactly as it had always been. His strangely older face lit up, a smile spreading instantly. He completely forgot about his bags, dropping them on the ground so he could break into a sprint toward her. She braced herself for the impact. Now he was running toward her she couldn’t escape. She was like a spider found inside the house and trapped underneath an upside down drinking glass. She had every chance to change her mind. Why had she left it until it was too late?
Suddenly Charlie was crushed against her. She well and truly felt trapped when he wrapped his arms around her. She could feel the bones in his ribcage through both their shirts into her chest. His bony arms linked around her back prevented her from moving even an inch away from him. She found it difficult to breathe.
He was the polar opposite of her and all of her insecurities. He was as excited as a child at Christmas. He was laughing. Her feet had been lifted off the ground and they were spinning around.
She wished she could be as blissfully happy as him. But she knew too much. She couldn’t wipe her mind clear of what had passed between them before this. Permanent marker meant the mistakes were there forever - even if both didn’t like it.
If all the eyes in the room hadn’t been on her before they certainly were now. Charlie was making it near impossible for everyone else in the room to ignore them.
She abandoned the laughter she had been forcing herself to produce (it had been no where believable to her own ears) and put on a stern voice as she told him, “people are looking at us Charlie.”
The spinning began to slow. When it came to an end he set her back down on the ground. He finally released his arms from around her. She had to permanently plaster the smile onto her face now.
“That’s because they’re jealous.” He informed her, still smiling broadly. “Now, let me get a good look at you.” He took a step back to admire her. “Man, you are a sight for sore eyes.”
She furrowed her brow at him. “I was here last week.”
“I know but now that I’m free you’re even more beautiful.” He said.
She couldn’t help feeling guilty. While he was over-joyed to see her she was wondering if he were high somehow.
All along she’d had her doubts whether rehab would do anything for Charlie. Seeing him this happy, her brain instantly made a connection. The last time she had seen him this happy was also one of the last times she had seen him high.
Ever since the night when he had been crying, pleading with her he wasn’t just Charlie to her anymore. No, now he was Charlie - The Junkie. She couldn’t get the idea of him addicted to drugs out of her mind. All of the good times they’d had together were all faded into the background. This meant she would probably never be able to look at him the same way she had when they had been on the island. And he could completely forget about her trusting him ever again.
All because she was stupid enough to fall in love with a drug-addict. How could she think being with a drug-addict would ever work out? Didn’t she have more sense than that?
“I take it you’re ready to go then?” She asked.
“Since the day they put me in here.” He replied. “How’s Aaron doin’?”
“Great, just great. He can’t wait to see you.” She stated.
He smiled bashfully, he was the closest Aaron would have to a proud father. “Aw, great. I been hanging to see him.”
“Yeah I can imagine.” She replied without any real emotion behind her words, it was simply the first thing that had come to mind. “So I’ll put your bags in the car while you sign out.”
He sighed happily. “Oh, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”
She laughed nervously going to walk away to the stairs where his luggage lay. But he stopped her. He grabbed her hand and when she turned to look at him she found him looking back very seriously. He stepped closer to her and she could guess what was going to happen next. She knew she would have to kiss him. But it wasn’t the kind of thing she had been looking forward to.
Somewhere over the past two months she had lost her attraction to him. As a teenager rebelling against her mother she probably would have loved a junkie boyfriend. Not so much now.
But she let him kiss her all the same. And when his lips met hers she couldn’t make her own move to respond to the action. Leaving her to think ‘how awkward’. Their love was not that of brilliant movies with Patrick Swayze in the leading role. No, this was the kind of thing the tabloid writers waited for.
The best she could make herself do was to smile at him afterwards. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
“Okay.” He agreed, letting her go this time.
After putting his luggage in the boot of the car she got into her seat. Leaning her forehead against the steering wheel she tried to steady her breathing, to get her heart rate at a more normal level.
As she lifted her head she saw him approaching in the review mirror. There was definitely no turning back now.
xXx
Charlie didn’t think of it as sex when he was with Claire. He loved Claire, so when he was in between the sheets with her he didn’t think of it as fucking. He considered it as making love, like the sappy ponce he was.
Except it didn’t feel like making love. It felt as mechanical as two strangers. There was no emotion, no passion and absolutely no love. Something had changed. Over the past two months something had happened to change their relationship. Their connection had transformed, almost beyond any recognition.
He didn’t understand what had happened. He didn’t know why or how. He only knew he didn’t like it. He had waited so long to see her again, to be with her. Now nothing. He had spent the majority of his time in rehab thinking about getting home to her and Aaron. Aaron was the same. Yet Claire was practically a different person.
Rehab had been hell for him and at the moment it seemed it hadn’t been worth it, at all.
xXx
Charlie decided to give it a while. He had been home only a week. Claire was still acting oddly but he figured if he gave her a little longer she might come around. He hoped she was simply readjusting to having him back. If he gave her a little longer it could all have the chance to go back to normal, to go back to the house he had loved so much.
He decided to give it two months. If he could get off drugs in eight weeks then maybe Claire could get off her high horse in eight weeks.
xXx
“I can’t believe this.” Claire gasped.
Charlie shook his head at her as he continued to shove clothes into his case. When was she going to say something intelligent? So far she hadn’t said anything that would prompt him to change his mind and stay.
“You’re leaving? You’re walking out on me?” She asked. “After everything that I’ve done for you, everything that I’ve put into this relationship, you’re walking out on me?”
His mouth dropped open, he thought his jaw might hit the ground. “Everything that you’ve done for me? You’ve not done anything for me but call me a junkie and ship me off the rehab.”
“I did that for you!” She snapped. “I had to. If I didn’t get you help who do you think would? Your loser addict friends?”
“Hey, at least my loser addict friends don’t think I’m some sort of invalid.” He defended.
She had her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips. She didn’t frighten him anymore. “That’s rich.”
He shrugged, zipping his bag up and throwing it over his shoulder. “Whatever Claire, as soon as I’m out that door it’s not my problem.”
“Good, go on then!” She yelled as he began to leave. “Just abandon Aaron, abandon me, see if I care!”
“Goodbye Claire.” He said before slamming the door shut after him.
xXx
After eight years the pain hadn’t eased at all. Even as the needle broke her skin.
The End.
Reality::..Lost - AU, if they got off the island at the end of season three
Spoilers::..The 23rd Pslam
Rating::..PG for adult themes
Genre::..Drama
Characters::..Claire and Charlie
Author's Note::..Lost fic number 97. I stole the title from an INXS(exies) song, off the album Shabooh Shoobah. It was awesome when it was released in 1982 and it's still awesome now.
I started this on Thursday, after I finished my Society and Culture exam within the first hour I needed something to do and this spilled out of me. Very dramatic. We'll pretend Charlie never died on the island and they got off, but did happily ever after ever come...?
Summary::..Today was the day Charlie was getting out of rehab, can Charlie and Claire's relationship survive in the real world?
Today was the day Charlie was getting out of rehab. It was marked on the calendar, not in those words of course. But Aaron had marked it up on the calendar, over-joyed about Charlie’s return. Meanwhile the date was permanently tattooed on Claire’s brain, there was no way she would ever have forgotten it.
She stared at the black numbers in front of her, messy appointments scribbled underneath. Where had all of those days gone? To sleepless nights and one-too-many-coffee days.
Charlie had been in rehab for two months. Claire had thought it would be good; she would get time to re-assess this whole situation and figure out what she wanted. Except she didn’t feel as if she had accomplished anything. She didn’t know what to do about Charlie now anymore than she had two months ago.
‘It’s complicated’, it was a piss-weak excuse. But it was the truth. And it was the only answer she could give Aaron when he asked why Charlie had to go away.
She had spent sleepless nights and endless days wondering what she would do when this day came. Yet here it was and she had no answers. Absolutely none. There were no solutions, no ideas. They had not appeared magically the way she had foolishly hoped they would.
It certainly was complicated. Her boyfriend had a problem with drugs. He swore he only took them when he was on tour with his band. But she had found baggies of it lying around the house much too often. She didn’t want that kind of crap around her son. Neither did she want a junkie around.
The simple solution would be to throw Charlie out.
But it was never simple when it came to Charlie. Yes, he was a drug addict - and she had her doubts about what eight weeks in Mattel’s ‘My First Prison’ would do about that. But she loved him. They had fallen in love while he was clean and since then he had been like her own personal drug. She knew she should kick the habit but she was too far in love with him. He also had a way of making her feel guilty as soon as she so much as thought of getting him out of her life.
She was trying to build a life here and raise her son the right way. She couldn’t wink at Charlie’s drug use if she wanted to set a good example for Aaron. If Aaron weren’t completely convinced the sun shone out of Charlie’s butt then Claire figured it would be much easier to expel him from their lives. But keeping Aaron happy and doing the right thing were two very different things.
Sometimes she thought it might have been easier if they had never left the island. At times it had felt almost like hell. But the real world wasn’t that great either.
There had been a lot of disadvantages of living on a deserted island. But there had also been a few advantages. The main one being a very limited amount of heroin. They had had to depend on each other on the island. They had needed to trust each other to stay alive on the island. It had been them against the world.
Now it felt more like them against each other. There had been no rock bands to go on reunion tours with on the island. His dumb-ass friends hadn’t been there waving the white powder under his nose until he succumbed either. There were too many temptations in the real world. It had been easier to live with him on the island, even if they had been living in a tent.
Would she take him in? Could she keep him out of her life? Out of Aaron’s life? He was a part of their family, almost like the glue keeping it all together.
She loved him. There was no denying it. But she wasn’t ready for him to come home. Her mind was constantly jumping to the worst conclusion. She was beginning to question whether she should go pick him up from the rehab or not. A big part of her didn’t want to.
His voice floated into her mind. He was coming down (and quick). He had never seemed more like a junkie than he did on that night. ‘You have to help me Claire, please, you have to help me’. She could see him, curled up in the corner, chewing his already bleeding thumbnail and crying. Crying like a child. His eyes were like roadmaps; it was impossible to see any white amongst all that red.
‘I need you to take care of me Claire, please’, he begged.
The night was clear in her mind. She could remember everything vividly. She could replay everything she had said and all the babbling he had done. Mostly she could remember her own feeling of complete helplessness.
She supposed she would have to pick him up from the rehab centre. She doubted anyone else would be there for him. She had to be there for him.
With a few annoyed huffs and puffs she picked up her car keys. She couldn’t avoid him forever. Exactly as it had been on the island when she had gotten rid of him for drug use she knew she would have to face him sooner or later.
Except this time she was daring to make the first step to him. She had never done that before.
xXx
Claire had been to the centre four times over the past eight weeks. Never with Aaron. She didn’t want him anywhere near a place like this. So she took a couple of hours off work to visit Charlie while Aaron was at school. And this time was no different.
She hated this place. Not only because of the lack of scenery and the drab colours on the walls. It was what it represented. She hadn’t been able to take care of him. She felt as if she had failed him. She wasn’t sure what she could have done to keep him clean. But she was certain something could have been done to prevent all of this.
As she walked through to the reception desk she wondered what people were thinking about her as she passed. She considered they might think she was a junkie, committing herself. Or maybe they all knew exactly who she was - a failure.
She didn’t know how she would ever be able to look Charlie in the eyes. Walking to the desk, drawing ever closer, the thought of turning around and running for the door popped into her head. She knew she could, it would be so simple. If she ran now no one would know and this would all be over. But what would she tell Aaron? So she kept walking straight forward.
The receptionist recognized her and greeted her with a smile. “Good morning Claire.”
She forced herself to return the smile. “Hey.”
“Charlie has been talking about this all week. He is just so excited. He can’t wait to get home and see that little boy of yours.” The receptionist informed her.
“Aw, well Aaron can’t wait to see him either.” Claire replied.
The receptionist had placed some papers and a pen in front of Claire. “If you’ll just sign those, I’ll go get Charlie from his room.”
Claire nodded, keeping her mouth sealed against a melodramatic sigh she could feel building. The receptionist turned and left. Claire collected the pen and positioned it on the paper.
Suddenly she was reminded of being in the adoption office, preparing to sign her baby away. She knew she had to do it but she didn’t entirely want to. She paused, for only a second and then began to sign. No turning back now.
Unlike six years ago the pen worked perfectly. No signals of whether she should do it or not. It glided smoothly across the page, until her name was scrawled across the straight black line.
The sigh escaped her lips as she pushed the signed paper back across the desk, for the new receptionist to collect. She smiled politely to Claire. “Thank you Miss Littleton, if you would like to take a seat it should only be another minute or so.”
“Okay.” She replied, hoping she sounded grateful rather than what she was actually feeling at the moment.
She took a seat on an empty couch. More eyes followed her as she did so. She guessed some of them might recognize her from all of the photos the magazines had printed of her with the other survivors. Or they might have seen the TV special Oprah’s people had paid them five thousand each to do.
It had been six years since they had been rescued. But she was recognized occasionally while shopping and taking Aaron to school. It didn’t happen too much, definitely nowhere near as much as Kate was spotted. She liked to think this was why these people were watching her.
Realistically she knew they were looking at her to suss out who she was. They wanted to know why she was here. When Charlie came toward her they would know she was here because she had failed him. She was here to soothe her conscience and they would all know it. She bowed her head to avoid eye contact with all of the people around her.
These were not the kind of people she wanted to socialize with. Why did she have to be here anyway?
Charlie began down the stairs, dragging his luggage behind him. Oh right, she was here because she was the idiot who was in love with him. She sure felt like an idiot as she stood up to greet him.
He looked terrible. He was thinner than she had ever seen him. His cheeks were gaunt, making his eyes seem much wider than usual. Untouched by dying agents his hair had turned a shade of dark brown.
His reaction to her was exactly as it had always been. His strangely older face lit up, a smile spreading instantly. He completely forgot about his bags, dropping them on the ground so he could break into a sprint toward her. She braced herself for the impact. Now he was running toward her she couldn’t escape. She was like a spider found inside the house and trapped underneath an upside down drinking glass. She had every chance to change her mind. Why had she left it until it was too late?
Suddenly Charlie was crushed against her. She well and truly felt trapped when he wrapped his arms around her. She could feel the bones in his ribcage through both their shirts into her chest. His bony arms linked around her back prevented her from moving even an inch away from him. She found it difficult to breathe.
He was the polar opposite of her and all of her insecurities. He was as excited as a child at Christmas. He was laughing. Her feet had been lifted off the ground and they were spinning around.
She wished she could be as blissfully happy as him. But she knew too much. She couldn’t wipe her mind clear of what had passed between them before this. Permanent marker meant the mistakes were there forever - even if both didn’t like it.
If all the eyes in the room hadn’t been on her before they certainly were now. Charlie was making it near impossible for everyone else in the room to ignore them.
She abandoned the laughter she had been forcing herself to produce (it had been no where believable to her own ears) and put on a stern voice as she told him, “people are looking at us Charlie.”
The spinning began to slow. When it came to an end he set her back down on the ground. He finally released his arms from around her. She had to permanently plaster the smile onto her face now.
“That’s because they’re jealous.” He informed her, still smiling broadly. “Now, let me get a good look at you.” He took a step back to admire her. “Man, you are a sight for sore eyes.”
She furrowed her brow at him. “I was here last week.”
“I know but now that I’m free you’re even more beautiful.” He said.
She couldn’t help feeling guilty. While he was over-joyed to see her she was wondering if he were high somehow.
All along she’d had her doubts whether rehab would do anything for Charlie. Seeing him this happy, her brain instantly made a connection. The last time she had seen him this happy was also one of the last times she had seen him high.
Ever since the night when he had been crying, pleading with her he wasn’t just Charlie to her anymore. No, now he was Charlie - The Junkie. She couldn’t get the idea of him addicted to drugs out of her mind. All of the good times they’d had together were all faded into the background. This meant she would probably never be able to look at him the same way she had when they had been on the island. And he could completely forget about her trusting him ever again.
All because she was stupid enough to fall in love with a drug-addict. How could she think being with a drug-addict would ever work out? Didn’t she have more sense than that?
“I take it you’re ready to go then?” She asked.
“Since the day they put me in here.” He replied. “How’s Aaron doin’?”
“Great, just great. He can’t wait to see you.” She stated.
He smiled bashfully, he was the closest Aaron would have to a proud father. “Aw, great. I been hanging to see him.”
“Yeah I can imagine.” She replied without any real emotion behind her words, it was simply the first thing that had come to mind. “So I’ll put your bags in the car while you sign out.”
He sighed happily. “Oh, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”
She laughed nervously going to walk away to the stairs where his luggage lay. But he stopped her. He grabbed her hand and when she turned to look at him she found him looking back very seriously. He stepped closer to her and she could guess what was going to happen next. She knew she would have to kiss him. But it wasn’t the kind of thing she had been looking forward to.
Somewhere over the past two months she had lost her attraction to him. As a teenager rebelling against her mother she probably would have loved a junkie boyfriend. Not so much now.
But she let him kiss her all the same. And when his lips met hers she couldn’t make her own move to respond to the action. Leaving her to think ‘how awkward’. Their love was not that of brilliant movies with Patrick Swayze in the leading role. No, this was the kind of thing the tabloid writers waited for.
The best she could make herself do was to smile at him afterwards. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
“Okay.” He agreed, letting her go this time.
After putting his luggage in the boot of the car she got into her seat. Leaning her forehead against the steering wheel she tried to steady her breathing, to get her heart rate at a more normal level.
As she lifted her head she saw him approaching in the review mirror. There was definitely no turning back now.
xXx
Charlie didn’t think of it as sex when he was with Claire. He loved Claire, so when he was in between the sheets with her he didn’t think of it as fucking. He considered it as making love, like the sappy ponce he was.
Except it didn’t feel like making love. It felt as mechanical as two strangers. There was no emotion, no passion and absolutely no love. Something had changed. Over the past two months something had happened to change their relationship. Their connection had transformed, almost beyond any recognition.
He didn’t understand what had happened. He didn’t know why or how. He only knew he didn’t like it. He had waited so long to see her again, to be with her. Now nothing. He had spent the majority of his time in rehab thinking about getting home to her and Aaron. Aaron was the same. Yet Claire was practically a different person.
Rehab had been hell for him and at the moment it seemed it hadn’t been worth it, at all.
xXx
Charlie decided to give it a while. He had been home only a week. Claire was still acting oddly but he figured if he gave her a little longer she might come around. He hoped she was simply readjusting to having him back. If he gave her a little longer it could all have the chance to go back to normal, to go back to the house he had loved so much.
He decided to give it two months. If he could get off drugs in eight weeks then maybe Claire could get off her high horse in eight weeks.
xXx
“I can’t believe this.” Claire gasped.
Charlie shook his head at her as he continued to shove clothes into his case. When was she going to say something intelligent? So far she hadn’t said anything that would prompt him to change his mind and stay.
“You’re leaving? You’re walking out on me?” She asked. “After everything that I’ve done for you, everything that I’ve put into this relationship, you’re walking out on me?”
His mouth dropped open, he thought his jaw might hit the ground. “Everything that you’ve done for me? You’ve not done anything for me but call me a junkie and ship me off the rehab.”
“I did that for you!” She snapped. “I had to. If I didn’t get you help who do you think would? Your loser addict friends?”
“Hey, at least my loser addict friends don’t think I’m some sort of invalid.” He defended.
She had her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips. She didn’t frighten him anymore. “That’s rich.”
He shrugged, zipping his bag up and throwing it over his shoulder. “Whatever Claire, as soon as I’m out that door it’s not my problem.”
“Good, go on then!” She yelled as he began to leave. “Just abandon Aaron, abandon me, see if I care!”
“Goodbye Claire.” He said before slamming the door shut after him.
xXx
After eight years the pain hadn’t eased at all. Even as the needle broke her skin.
The End.