Team Players

[meaganspooner]

The other day I posted a comment on a blog that was seriously misinterpreted. It had the unfortunate timing of showing up right after another comment, so close in fact that I didn't see the other comment before I posted--but coincidence made it possible to read criticism into my comment, because of its placement. I was mortified when the first

Comments

[rabbithigh]

I agree. The internet has given us a place to CONNECT

[meaganspooner]

Thanks for your comment! It is definitely a comfort to know that there are other writers out there who think about this sort of thing, and more importantly, think before they comment, blog, etc. I think the best thing we can do is really just hold ourselves to the standard we wish everyone else would keep, and try not to let it get us down.

[journeynorth]

Ugh, yes. Yeah. A few months ago I posted a review to FP and the writer didn't even reply to me, but some guy who was her... "delegate" or something? I couldn't understand for the life of me why she was delegating her reply to someone else and not even bothering to reply to me herself. It was so weird. But that wasn't the problem

[animewave]

Weird things happen on FP, sometimes people misinterpret constructive or any criticism as flaming >.

[journeynorth]

That's why I don't review anymore and hardly ever read. :< It sucks, because I used to love FP, but now I'm not so much into it anymore.

[animewave]

Same, I only review if someone from my subscribed list pops up otherwise months of inactivity lol.

[animewave]

Completely agree with being on the same team. Ever since I started reading blogs about other people writing and publishing, my outlook on new books has changed as I'm sure who ever wrote their story put a lot of effort into it so I'm not on the swift to attack belt of commentary. Constructive criticism is fine but hate isn't. I guess it helps to remember there's another human beyond the screen (I hope :).

[meaganspooner]

Same here. Yes, there are books and even authors I don't like, and yes, there are a small few that I feel incredibly strongly about. But I don't talk about them online. Setting aside questions of professionalism, networking, etc.--it just feels cruel to bash someone's work even if you do feel the work is genuinely sub-par. It seems to have more to do with jealousy than artistic commentary.

Everyone gets jealous of someone else's career at some point, I don't think you can really avoid that. The tipping point is just whether you swallow that jealousy and channel it back into your work or if you let it build up and explode all over the net somewhere. I'm a big believer in the "people will be sorry when I'm famous" mode of comfort. So, the best way to make them sorry? Get famous! (I.e., get back to work.)

down with the haters!

[calbraith1]

I think there are at least two reasons for the preponderance of negative criticism. First, even though I think most of us start with the intention of helping the artist, negative criticism is more likely to be specific; it's harder to make positive comments that will help improve a piece. Second, I think our electronic communication tends to be rushed, so that we put something out there without considering all the angles. And since there are more ways to say something wrong than to say something right, chances are that we're going to say something that is or appears to be hurtful. And that's not even mentioning those among us who get an ego boost from putting others down.

That said, what you mean "we" paleface? I'm getting that Nobel Prize in Lit, and if I can trample people en route, so much the better!

Buck

Re: down with the haters!

[meaganspooner]

You are so right to point out the fact that negative criticism is usually so specific. I know I definitely have a kneejerk reaction to think "You're being so picky and overcritical!" I had a tendency when I was younger to think that criticism came from stupid people and praise came from the smart ones. Oh, to be young and oblivious again. Sigh. ;)

Okay, but now that you've told me you're going to have to buy my silence with some of that prize money. Just FYI.

[brigidkemmerer]

I have a friend who, after I got an agent, got really weird. She stopped talking to me about writing, and actually got really bitter any time I wanted to cry about an editor rejection. "At least you're getting rejected by real editors," she'd say -- as if that makes it any better. I completely agree with your post. Writers really should focus more on building each other up instead of tearing each other apart. There's that saying, "The only person who can make someone stop reading your work is YOU." So true. More people need to remember it.

[meaganspooner]

I think we all feel that pang of jealousy at some stage or another, whether it's because someone you know is enjoying the success you wish you had, or someone out there in the publishing world in general is just wildly popular and you want to be there too. I often compare it in my head to the sort of jealousy I get as a single person when hanging around with my friends who are couples--you love them and you're happy they're happy but every so often you just get this irrational "Why can't I have that?" I think the important thing is to just keep being a good friend despite those occasional pangs.

If nothing else, professional jealousy (and how a person handles it) can help you sort out your REAL friends from everyone else. I'm a big believer in the fact that in the long run it's a GOOD thing when your "friends" show their true colors. At least you be the one to take a step back, and remember who really still matters most.