So the verdict is in. I have bronchitis. And we're not talking nice viral bronchitis either. This is the cough all night, choke up green globs of mucus, blow your nose so hard your head ends up in next week, bacterial bronchitis. It started two weeks ago when I lost my voice. I always lose my voice by mid-November so I did not think ( Read more... )

I know what you're doing right now... you're counting down from week one to two to three to um... six? Yes, I know how to count and no, I did not bump my head and go into a coma for two weeks. Nor did I contract swine flu and spend the last two weeks in bed (although lord-a-mercy the thought of two weeks in bed just sounds so good right now ( Read more... )

Eleven years ago, Jason and I got hitched for better or worse in the Hillsborough courthouse in front of a jail cell by one Mr. Cleatus A. Marmaduke III. He had bug eyes, wore a blue and white checked polyester suit and moved and talked like he existed in a vat of molasses (pronounced MOE-lasses for you uninitiated). One of our witnesses made ( Read more... )

I want to full-on, smooch all over the person who invented Tamiflu because without this little wonder drug, I wouldn’t be posting at all. Instead, I’d be cleaning up projectile vomit for the second night in a row and wishing I would just die and put myself out of my own misery. But I’m leaping ahead of my entire week and starting with the ending ( Read more... )

Ever had one of those weeks where you were so busy, you wonder how you got to Monday? And were you so busy that when you got to Monday, all the stuff you did was a blur and you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what kept you so busy that entire time? That was my week, last week. And while I’m doing a lot of tasks that seem simple and ( Read more... )

The Kübler-Ross model, better known as the five stages of grief, can really be applied to all areas of life. For example, while writing my 101 goals in 1001 days, I was definitely in stage one, denial. It's not that I was unrealistic in setting my goals; and even after a week's contemplation I still believe I will meet and, in some cases, ( Read more... )

Shopping for Halloween costumes with my tween is akin to getting a root canal. I've never had a root canal but I know people who have and they never emerge from the dentist's chair smiling. In fact, they often look like they are caught in that place between sheer, outright pain and Novocaine and it's not a good place to be. And that's the look on ( Read more... )

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At least, so says Oscar Wilde. I’m inclined to agree for purely personal reasons.

T.S. Eliot once said: “I don’t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.” Stagnate is a great way to describe my mental state for the past five years. In 2004, I was 30. I was ( Read more... )