Happy Birthday Casey!!!!
We've only talked about this scenario enough times... I should have started earlier, but I didn't. So this is it.
2250 words.
"Dadd-eeeee." Hannah squealed, stepping out onto the ice, slipping a little, right behind her father.
Her knitted mitten clad hand was neatly tucked into Luke's, as he pulled her gently, allowing her to glide across the ice without much effort.
Her obsession with figure skating that was showcased during the Olympic winter games had Gail bundling her up, and shoving her out the door before too much whining could ensue. And she's a Canadian kid, it was bound to happen eventually. She's relatively new to skating, but he wanted her to start early, and go often.
"Just hold on tight Banana. And if you feel like you're going to fall, don't stick your arms out, right? Try and fall on your bum, like I showed you."
That was a fun process. Mimicking falling down on their living floor this morning. Gail got her fill, laughing, teasing. He thinks that eventually she just hid around the corner and filmed it.
But it was important. He didn't want her breaking her wrist or anything.
He hears his daughters giggle, and looks far down his left arm to see her nod and smile. Confirmation was important.
Smiling himself at her giddy-ness to be back at the rink, he drops back behind her a little and grabs her other hand too, so they're high above her head. But most importantly, she cannot fall. Legs spread wide, Luke is practically skating with her between his legs as he pushes softly against the ice, keeping them moving forward at a slow pace.
The freshly smoothed ice was still wet with a layer of water on its surface, and the familiar cut of his blades against it gave Luke satisfaction, rooted back from his teen years playing hockey. Something about being the first one to mark it up...
And now passing on that same experience to his daughter. But he's sure she gets her rush from the gliding, not the speed, or the control of movement, just moving. He's sure if she were allowed to wear her fairy wings out of the house, she would've worn them today. Had him help her pretend she was flying.
After the short but slow lap around the rinks edge, he sees a few more sets of parents and children join them, and he squeezes her hands a little tighter. He knows it's unlikely that they'll be speeding by, (it's a Tot Skate after all, ages 3-5 for the hour) but he can't be too sure. Not everyone's as attentive a parent as he has been since she came into the world.
He stops just before they get to open boards where people are stepping onto the ice, and squats down as far as he can to ask her if she'd like to try doing it alone.
"I can do it Daddy." She insists.
He taps her leg and she takes her weight off of it, resting her hands on his shoulders while he shows her how to place her foot in order to push off it. After having to call her focus back to him a couple of times, as her gaze tended to follow the other skaters on the ice, he stands, wincing at the pain in his knee, and holds her hands skating backward as she tries to go forward.
Which meant, Luke was skating backward.
They made it, again, very slowly along the boards, and were about half way through their lap when Luke skated into something solid. Thankfully the body behind him didn't fall, but he brought Hannah to a stop and quite quickly turned around to apologize.
"It's alright." A deep and irritated voice grumbled. As the man turned to face him, Luke didn't know whether to roll his eyes or laugh, but behind him, the man he ran into, was Sam Swarek.
"Swarek."
"Callaghan." Sam smiles tightly, business like, the way things have always been. This is a bit of a new setting for them.
Luke's eyes quickly scan the situation, sees Sam's daughter Bella waiting patiently behind him, and then he searches the ice for Andy, hoping she'll be there to make pleasantries with rather than Sam...
When he finally looks back at Sam, he notices he was doing the same, probably looking for Gail.
A new setting for them, in which they've never had to socialize outside of work without their wives present.
It's not until Hannah, grabs Luke's leg for balance that he even considers picking her up and introducing her. If for no other reason than to have something to say.
"Hannah, you remember Sam, right?" He asks, jostling her a little, hoping to make her laugh, get her away from being shy.
"Hi Hannah," Swarek chuckles warmly, not quite surprising Luke, as his daughter leans into him further. "I think you've met Bella before. She's just one year older than you."
Hannah and Bella's eyes meet, and Luke places her back on her feet on the ice so the girls can exchange a greeting.
But as Hannah is trying to push off her skate, get closer to Bella, she tumbles. Luke's arms shoot out like a rocket to try and keep her upright, but Bella's there first, offering Hannah her arm, her own skates solid on the ice.
"Thanks." Hannah mumbles, still shy.
Luke's happy to see that a warm smile is returned. One that he can actually see Andy in, the way the eyes light up, but those dimples that are all Swarek.
"Wanna skate together?" Bella asks, confident, having Luke wonder if they really are the same age, and before he even knows what's happening, Bella is helping her skate to the center of the rink, to get one of those walker-type skate assistants, leaving the men alone.
He stares after his daughter, watching every move of her feet, in case he can anticipate the fall, but Sam coughs, breaking his focus.
"Want to grab some coffee? Get out of these skates?"
Luke can't help but glance back at Hannah, ever convinced that she's going to need him. That he'll be able to keep her from hurting herself and falling.
"Bella's been skating for a couple of years, they'll be fine together."
Luke wonders if his worry is that transparent, and while Sam is shifting his weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable in his rentals, he thinks maybe it's not such a terrible idea to see her do it on her own. 'Dadd-eeee, I'm a big girl', she'd told him just that morning, brushing his hands away from her shoes so she could tie them herself.
As Hannah takes a few successful pushes against the ice, bracing herself on the walker, Bella patient by her side, she turns to find her Dad's proud smile, and she's not let down. She waves enthusiastically, but soon returns her attention to her friend. Swarek's kid, of all people.
(It's not like they've never played together before. It's just usually when they're with Gail and Andy, and it's been a while.)
"Yeah, sure."
"So, uh, where's your boy?" Luke finds himself asking as they make their way to the bleachers, hot steaming cup of coffee in hand.
The cold draft of the arena has Luke zipping up his fleece, and holding his cup with two hands while Sam leads them to seats high up that oversee all the ice on the rink. Where they'll be easily spotted in case needed.
He notices they aren't the only parents watching, now, others have also left their kids to socialize rather than hover. He feels better, seeing that.
"With Andy, at the Zoo."
"It's pouring outside-"
"I know." Sam smirks, happy that it's not him. "But Noah loves the zoo, and Andy would be damned if a little rain kept them from having their day together."
Luke watches Sam watch his daughter for a moment, thinking that if the delicate chain of events between Andy's start at fifteen and where he did her wrong hadn't happened, would she still have ended up with this man, having his children.
He wonders if he would be married to Gail Peck... in love with Gail Peck. That thought would've had seemed so strange to him six years ago, but here they are.
"And what about Peck?" Sam asks, curious to know where the one who would banter with him properly has gone. "Working?"
"I believe she and Traci are burning money. Shopping for the nursery." He laughs, unable to hide his excitement.
"I knew that actually, Andy mentioned that she'd be missing it."
"Yeah, well, they'll be out again next week."
"I heard you're having a boy this time, congratulations." Sam nods, eyes forward.
"Thanks," Luke mumbles. It's not like he made the choice...
He's unsure of a son. Which, seems rather backward, he knows. But having a boy, he felt... pressure. His father was not the kind of father he'd like to be. His father put work first, and put all the importance in the world on winning. There was no "good try, son" just "you can do better". He kept his head down doing just that until he realized he had no idea what he was trying to accomplish. Winning wasn't going to get his fathers' attention or affections. That was the standard. He was essentially being told he was below average.
So he knew how to be a father to his daughter. Let her know every day that she was his princess, and that he was proud of everything she tried at, and especially the things she failed at. Because she was brave enough to get back up again. But boys...
Boys like winning. It wasn't just what his father expected. It was his coaches, his teachers, everyone. He didn't know how to tell his son to cancel out those voices, be his own man, and better yet, enjoy being a boy. But he was going to try. He made vows to his unborn son that he was going to do his best to do right by him.
Standing back now, watching his daughter stiffly skate across the ice, with nothing to hold onto now but her friends hand, he smiled. She turned out alright. And besides, the hard parts don't come till much later. And never all at once.
Perspective. He had so much of it in the field, he knew how to use objectivity to his advantage. But as soon as it was relevant to his life, it escaped him. He supposes that was to be expected after burying himself in work for so long.
It's why he's eternally grateful that Gail pulled him back out.
"Nervous?" Sam asks, not quite searching out a feelings conversation, just checking. Lord knows that's the last thing either of them wants. Sipping coffee at an ice rink, having a heart to heart while their daughters make nice and become friends.
He's not sure when he would be willing to be dragged back here for this again, but watching their daughters chat he knows there will be a demand for a weekly meet-up.
"You could say that."
He gives in only a little.
There is an easy lull between them for a few moments, each in their own thoughts, until a voice comes over the PA system, interrupting the music to let them know there are fifteen minutes left of free skate.
Sam checks his phone a couple of times, and Luke catches him smiling at whatever is on his screen until he tilts it his way to fill the man's curiosity.
A picture of Andy and Noah, drenched, standing in front of the lions cage with their teeth bared in a growl.
"It'll be the last of your worries, when he's here. And hey, for all you know, he'll sooner play Barbie than catch. You never know."
He'd have hit Swarek on the arm if they were pals, but that seems too familiar, so he laughs along with him, appreciating the ease that turn took.
"Yeah, I guess that's true. That'd make Hannah pretty happy."
He shakes his head, smile refusing to vacate his mouth as he imagines having a baby in the house again. And he checks on Hannah again, to meet her smiling face.
She motions for him to come closer to the boards, probably show off what she can do now, all on her own, not knowing that he's been watching the entire time.
And watching her gain that little piece of independence, scares him all over again. Because at least when she was shaky on her feet, he was right there to catch her. But now she's unafraid. Which he knows is right. But she could still fall, and he won't be right there to save her.
He stands, and makes his way down, leaving Sam on the bleachers, and goes down to the plexiglas that separates them.
"Look Daddy!" She says, as she moves forward all on her own, gliding far more gracefully than she has in the past couple of weeks.
"Look at you go. Good job Banana!" He cheers, clapping for her.
He rubs a hand over his jaw, trying to hide his smile a little. He's beaming with pride though, and he can't. Just stares adoringly after her.
He looks back to his old seat in time to see Sam averting his eyes, watching his own daughter instead.
Maybe it wouldn't suck too bad to have this standing play date for their daughters.
Swareks' not so bad.
2250 words.
"Dadd-eeeee." Hannah squealed, stepping out onto the ice, slipping a little, right behind her father.
Her knitted mitten clad hand was neatly tucked into Luke's, as he pulled her gently, allowing her to glide across the ice without much effort.
Her obsession with figure skating that was showcased during the Olympic winter games had Gail bundling her up, and shoving her out the door before too much whining could ensue. And she's a Canadian kid, it was bound to happen eventually. She's relatively new to skating, but he wanted her to start early, and go often.
"Just hold on tight Banana. And if you feel like you're going to fall, don't stick your arms out, right? Try and fall on your bum, like I showed you."
That was a fun process. Mimicking falling down on their living floor this morning. Gail got her fill, laughing, teasing. He thinks that eventually she just hid around the corner and filmed it.
But it was important. He didn't want her breaking her wrist or anything.
He hears his daughters giggle, and looks far down his left arm to see her nod and smile. Confirmation was important.
Smiling himself at her giddy-ness to be back at the rink, he drops back behind her a little and grabs her other hand too, so they're high above her head. But most importantly, she cannot fall. Legs spread wide, Luke is practically skating with her between his legs as he pushes softly against the ice, keeping them moving forward at a slow pace.
The freshly smoothed ice was still wet with a layer of water on its surface, and the familiar cut of his blades against it gave Luke satisfaction, rooted back from his teen years playing hockey. Something about being the first one to mark it up...
And now passing on that same experience to his daughter. But he's sure she gets her rush from the gliding, not the speed, or the control of movement, just moving. He's sure if she were allowed to wear her fairy wings out of the house, she would've worn them today. Had him help her pretend she was flying.
After the short but slow lap around the rinks edge, he sees a few more sets of parents and children join them, and he squeezes her hands a little tighter. He knows it's unlikely that they'll be speeding by, (it's a Tot Skate after all, ages 3-5 for the hour) but he can't be too sure. Not everyone's as attentive a parent as he has been since she came into the world.
He stops just before they get to open boards where people are stepping onto the ice, and squats down as far as he can to ask her if she'd like to try doing it alone.
"I can do it Daddy." She insists.
He taps her leg and she takes her weight off of it, resting her hands on his shoulders while he shows her how to place her foot in order to push off it. After having to call her focus back to him a couple of times, as her gaze tended to follow the other skaters on the ice, he stands, wincing at the pain in his knee, and holds her hands skating backward as she tries to go forward.
Which meant, Luke was skating backward.
They made it, again, very slowly along the boards, and were about half way through their lap when Luke skated into something solid. Thankfully the body behind him didn't fall, but he brought Hannah to a stop and quite quickly turned around to apologize.
"It's alright." A deep and irritated voice grumbled. As the man turned to face him, Luke didn't know whether to roll his eyes or laugh, but behind him, the man he ran into, was Sam Swarek.
"Swarek."
"Callaghan." Sam smiles tightly, business like, the way things have always been. This is a bit of a new setting for them.
Luke's eyes quickly scan the situation, sees Sam's daughter Bella waiting patiently behind him, and then he searches the ice for Andy, hoping she'll be there to make pleasantries with rather than Sam...
When he finally looks back at Sam, he notices he was doing the same, probably looking for Gail.
A new setting for them, in which they've never had to socialize outside of work without their wives present.
It's not until Hannah, grabs Luke's leg for balance that he even considers picking her up and introducing her. If for no other reason than to have something to say.
"Hannah, you remember Sam, right?" He asks, jostling her a little, hoping to make her laugh, get her away from being shy.
"Hi Hannah," Swarek chuckles warmly, not quite surprising Luke, as his daughter leans into him further. "I think you've met Bella before. She's just one year older than you."
Hannah and Bella's eyes meet, and Luke places her back on her feet on the ice so the girls can exchange a greeting.
But as Hannah is trying to push off her skate, get closer to Bella, she tumbles. Luke's arms shoot out like a rocket to try and keep her upright, but Bella's there first, offering Hannah her arm, her own skates solid on the ice.
"Thanks." Hannah mumbles, still shy.
Luke's happy to see that a warm smile is returned. One that he can actually see Andy in, the way the eyes light up, but those dimples that are all Swarek.
"Wanna skate together?" Bella asks, confident, having Luke wonder if they really are the same age, and before he even knows what's happening, Bella is helping her skate to the center of the rink, to get one of those walker-type skate assistants, leaving the men alone.
He stares after his daughter, watching every move of her feet, in case he can anticipate the fall, but Sam coughs, breaking his focus.
"Want to grab some coffee? Get out of these skates?"
Luke can't help but glance back at Hannah, ever convinced that she's going to need him. That he'll be able to keep her from hurting herself and falling.
"Bella's been skating for a couple of years, they'll be fine together."
Luke wonders if his worry is that transparent, and while Sam is shifting his weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable in his rentals, he thinks maybe it's not such a terrible idea to see her do it on her own. 'Dadd-eeee, I'm a big girl', she'd told him just that morning, brushing his hands away from her shoes so she could tie them herself.
As Hannah takes a few successful pushes against the ice, bracing herself on the walker, Bella patient by her side, she turns to find her Dad's proud smile, and she's not let down. She waves enthusiastically, but soon returns her attention to her friend. Swarek's kid, of all people.
(It's not like they've never played together before. It's just usually when they're with Gail and Andy, and it's been a while.)
"Yeah, sure."
"So, uh, where's your boy?" Luke finds himself asking as they make their way to the bleachers, hot steaming cup of coffee in hand.
The cold draft of the arena has Luke zipping up his fleece, and holding his cup with two hands while Sam leads them to seats high up that oversee all the ice on the rink. Where they'll be easily spotted in case needed.
He notices they aren't the only parents watching, now, others have also left their kids to socialize rather than hover. He feels better, seeing that.
"With Andy, at the Zoo."
"It's pouring outside-"
"I know." Sam smirks, happy that it's not him. "But Noah loves the zoo, and Andy would be damned if a little rain kept them from having their day together."
Luke watches Sam watch his daughter for a moment, thinking that if the delicate chain of events between Andy's start at fifteen and where he did her wrong hadn't happened, would she still have ended up with this man, having his children.
He wonders if he would be married to Gail Peck... in love with Gail Peck. That thought would've had seemed so strange to him six years ago, but here they are.
"And what about Peck?" Sam asks, curious to know where the one who would banter with him properly has gone. "Working?"
"I believe she and Traci are burning money. Shopping for the nursery." He laughs, unable to hide his excitement.
"I knew that actually, Andy mentioned that she'd be missing it."
"Yeah, well, they'll be out again next week."
"I heard you're having a boy this time, congratulations." Sam nods, eyes forward.
"Thanks," Luke mumbles. It's not like he made the choice...
He's unsure of a son. Which, seems rather backward, he knows. But having a boy, he felt... pressure. His father was not the kind of father he'd like to be. His father put work first, and put all the importance in the world on winning. There was no "good try, son" just "you can do better". He kept his head down doing just that until he realized he had no idea what he was trying to accomplish. Winning wasn't going to get his fathers' attention or affections. That was the standard. He was essentially being told he was below average.
So he knew how to be a father to his daughter. Let her know every day that she was his princess, and that he was proud of everything she tried at, and especially the things she failed at. Because she was brave enough to get back up again. But boys...
Boys like winning. It wasn't just what his father expected. It was his coaches, his teachers, everyone. He didn't know how to tell his son to cancel out those voices, be his own man, and better yet, enjoy being a boy. But he was going to try. He made vows to his unborn son that he was going to do his best to do right by him.
Standing back now, watching his daughter stiffly skate across the ice, with nothing to hold onto now but her friends hand, he smiled. She turned out alright. And besides, the hard parts don't come till much later. And never all at once.
Perspective. He had so much of it in the field, he knew how to use objectivity to his advantage. But as soon as it was relevant to his life, it escaped him. He supposes that was to be expected after burying himself in work for so long.
It's why he's eternally grateful that Gail pulled him back out.
"Nervous?" Sam asks, not quite searching out a feelings conversation, just checking. Lord knows that's the last thing either of them wants. Sipping coffee at an ice rink, having a heart to heart while their daughters make nice and become friends.
He's not sure when he would be willing to be dragged back here for this again, but watching their daughters chat he knows there will be a demand for a weekly meet-up.
"You could say that."
He gives in only a little.
There is an easy lull between them for a few moments, each in their own thoughts, until a voice comes over the PA system, interrupting the music to let them know there are fifteen minutes left of free skate.
Sam checks his phone a couple of times, and Luke catches him smiling at whatever is on his screen until he tilts it his way to fill the man's curiosity.
A picture of Andy and Noah, drenched, standing in front of the lions cage with their teeth bared in a growl.
"It'll be the last of your worries, when he's here. And hey, for all you know, he'll sooner play Barbie than catch. You never know."
He'd have hit Swarek on the arm if they were pals, but that seems too familiar, so he laughs along with him, appreciating the ease that turn took.
"Yeah, I guess that's true. That'd make Hannah pretty happy."
He shakes his head, smile refusing to vacate his mouth as he imagines having a baby in the house again. And he checks on Hannah again, to meet her smiling face.
She motions for him to come closer to the boards, probably show off what she can do now, all on her own, not knowing that he's been watching the entire time.
And watching her gain that little piece of independence, scares him all over again. Because at least when she was shaky on her feet, he was right there to catch her. But now she's unafraid. Which he knows is right. But she could still fall, and he won't be right there to save her.
He stands, and makes his way down, leaving Sam on the bleachers, and goes down to the plexiglas that separates them.
"Look Daddy!" She says, as she moves forward all on her own, gliding far more gracefully than she has in the past couple of weeks.
"Look at you go. Good job Banana!" He cheers, clapping for her.
He rubs a hand over his jaw, trying to hide his smile a little. He's beaming with pride though, and he can't. Just stares adoringly after her.
He looks back to his old seat in time to see Sam averting his eyes, watching his own daughter instead.
Maybe it wouldn't suck too bad to have this standing play date for their daughters.
Swareks' not so bad.