I never will know what to do, about anything

May 10, 2010 13:52

I know it's a point that's been made a thousand times, by Hamlet and Ophelia and Augustine and whatshisnuts, but I never never will know what I should do -- about anything ( Read more... )

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Comments 7

shamethebells May 10 2010, 20:44:58 UTC
*HUGS* I'm sorry. AGAIN. :(

I am now 24 hours without a cigarette.

What? How did I not know you smoked?

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meddles May 10 2010, 22:25:56 UTC
cause I's not supposed to smoke :D

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meddles May 10 2010, 22:27:28 UTC
*hug* I sorry. It's something gross that I don't want to do anymore. My parents don't know I smoke, so in turn, I don't smoke at home...but school is enough to make me keep doing it. I am good about not smoking when I'm not in school... and I need to quit before I start working this summer and Chris's dad might see ;D

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meddles May 10 2010, 22:28:19 UTC
sorry for multiple messages... I really wish I never had. It's one of those things that, by the time you figure out why other people like it, you're addicted, and once all the cool people who have smoked finally left, you'll still be addicted.

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indubitablydyl May 15 2010, 03:01:02 UTC
Bleh. That just sounds like a thoroughly unhealthy environment for all parties involved. I know it's more complicated than that, but I wish you didn't have to put yourself through all that (much less your mom, etc). What I wonder, I guess, is how all this makes you feel. You write about how upset you were, but it's the only indication that you were angry or sad or... anything. And, I dunno. Are you afraid of expressing more? Do you just not feel more? I'm not saying you should or anything, I'm just... curious as to how you regard all this outside of "conflicting."

(*hugs, wishing you well*)

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meddles May 16 2010, 13:55:40 UTC
Well, I definitely feel quite a bit :) I'm just afraid that something bad will happen if I say that I'm mad? Like I hate the idea of getting mad at mom, or dad, or mamaw. I'm afraid that I'll blow up at mom or say something that will hurt her feelings. I got very close to doing such this morning, if I didn't already.

'Scuse me while I go cry :D I'll let you know more later.

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indubitablydyl May 16 2010, 17:04:41 UTC
Please do!

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