PRIVATE
Perhaps it was a mistake...not perhaps, I know it was. I also know it was a knee jerk reaction to return as I did. Or to make such an announcement without ever thinking about anything or anyone but myself. But I was simply excited, I suppose.
But my sudden departure from college was not one of my greater moments. Cowards run. Even I with my romantisism can see that's what I am. Because I have hurt the man I love. I have made my cousin angry with me. I, myself, and angry with me. I use the excuse that I'm going back to do what I can...To fix the situation as best as I can. To find out from the person in this who matters most what they want. Not what I want. Not what her mother wants. What she wants. But perhaps it is only an excuse to keep running.
I have stayed much longer than I intended. But I need to stay longer. I still have not worked things out. They only grow more complex by the day. I wish I knew what to do.