Written by monkeys, read by millions...

[meepblop]

Presented here are the endings of a few highly workplace-appropriate novels available in my office's lunchroom. Take notes, fellas. This is how it's done:Perhaps it had to do with Benedict’s arms around her waist, and the secure knowledge that he would always be there, whether or not she needed him. Or perhaps it was much simpler than that, and

Comments

[marktapiokines]

You forgot...

'Suck this dick,' he commanded.
I struggled. 'No, it's too much.'
'Suck with your heart and not with your mouth.'
'Mmm,' I moaned. And I knew our love would last forever.
from The Bathhouse by Horney Formen

[the_baxter]

You DEFINITELY need to consider this as an alternate career. I can't stop laughing.

[the_baxter]

I haven't heard the adverb "sexily" since I played mad libs in middle school. With Vito and Jemma.

[sherrardoh]

"Ow, my hair," she said, too hammered to be truly annoyed.
"I'm sorry," he said.
He managed to undo her belt and take her pants down and feel quite sure of himself. But the world started spinning and he felt as though he were orbiting her pelvis at 800 mph.
He got up and said bleerily, "Oh shit, I'm too drunk to do this..." before rolling over and passing out, leaving Katie throughly unsatisfifed.

From Drunken Sorority Love by Stacey Stacenson

[the_baxter]

Too realistic, for a fantasty novel, dude.

[sherrardoh]

That was the point.

[the_baxter]

Sorry. I'm an idiot.

[meonkeys]

This post is like a stream of bat's piss... standing out as a glorious shaft of gold when all around is dark. Thank you, Faye.

My apologies to those of Monty Python, from which I blatantly ripped off the quote.