I just wanted to throw you a "hi". I know going to Spain and Africa are hugely different things, but I still wanted to just talk about things I have felt, because I find that talking to other people who have been abroad always helps.
When I was in Spain, I found myself so much more confident and different than before. I think it is part of the going abroad experience, to become more confident, and to really change. I think it is really easy to fall back into who you were before, as I have found myself doing. But perhaps it is all in our mind, the "going back to before" feeling. It could be that we just don't want to be that way, and we are trying to avoid it, and any small indication of it freaks us out. I guess I just want to say that you know life changing experiences are awesome, and it is okay to return somewhat to our old lives, but our lives will always be changed and I am sure we will always reflect some of the change we went through, especially if we decide to embark on a trip again.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I really, really appreciate it and feel not so alone now. Nobody in my family, and none of my really close friends, have traveled very much. After junior year, I'm sure that will change. But presently, I feel like I can't explain parts of me to them now, and there is some resentment on both parts as a result. You made me realize that some of this is indeed all in my head, and that no matter how much I fall back into the old, my experience will always be a part of me; I will always be changed.
wow beth, i really envy you. you are doing so much in life. and the things that everyone "says" they want to do with their life, but you are actaully doing it. i would pay to see what you have seen. im gald to know your not taking these type of things for grantite (sp?). so, browine points for you!! haha i hope the job goes extremely well!
Thanks, dear. I really appreciate your kind words. But trust me, there are many things that I say I will do and never get around to (for various reasons). I have to push aside a lot of fear and self doubt to take advantage of these opportunities. It's a lifelong process and I can definitely see you doing big things with your life because you have a strong will and drive. Much love <3
Me too! I'm trying not to have too high of expectations...just because beginning internships can be disappointing/a bore. But so far it looks bright :)
Congratulations! It sounds like you are going to be extremely busy. I'm really happy for you.
I understand exactly what you mean about the confidence thing. I think most people who travel or experience a different country or culture for a time that is longer than a holiday would, to a certain extent. I miss the 'me' who was travelling around New Zealand for four and a half months, with no time contraints, no real obligations and a degree of freedom that doesn't seem to be there in 'everyday life'. At least you discovered and know about the 'other you', most people don't even get that far. You may find her again in your new job.
Congratulations again, I hope it goes well, that you get a lot of good experience and enjoyment from it. It seems to me that you need this break and will get a lot out of it. Take care. Paul.
I hope I find the "other me" in my job. When I walked in the door for the first time and saw the familiarity of West Africa in some of the people, I already felt a little lighter, less burdened. Maybe the confidence will come with just a little more time.
Thanks (again!) for the kind words, Paul. Is your userpic from New Zealand? It is an absolutely gorgeous photo.
I'm sure that you will be all the things you want to be. Those of us who sometimes lack confidence, (me too, by the way) need it coaxing out of us in certain situations. I have felt mine ebbing away now that I am back amid the 'humdrum' but, like you, I know it can be found and just long for those circumstances when I don't have to steel myself quite as much. Once you get into your new role I have no doubt that you will feel much better. Good luck for your first day, I hope it all goes well. Enjoy
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When I was in Spain, I found myself so much more confident and different than before. I think it is part of the going abroad experience, to become more confident, and to really change. I think it is really easy to fall back into who you were before, as I have found myself doing. But perhaps it is all in our mind, the "going back to before" feeling. It could be that we just don't want to be that way, and we are trying to avoid it, and any small indication of it freaks us out. I guess I just want to say that you know life changing experiences are awesome, and it is okay to return somewhat to our old lives, but our lives will always be changed and I am sure we will always reflect some of the change we went through, especially if we decide to embark on a trip again.
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so, browine points for you!! haha
i hope the job goes extremely well!
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I understand exactly what you mean about the confidence thing. I think most people who travel or experience a different country or culture for a time that is longer than a holiday would, to a certain extent. I miss the 'me' who was travelling around New Zealand for four and a half months, with no time contraints, no real obligations and a degree of freedom that doesn't seem to be there in 'everyday life'. At least you discovered and know about the 'other you', most people don't even get that far. You may find her again in your new job.
Congratulations again, I hope it goes well, that you get a lot of good experience and enjoyment from it. It seems to me that you need this break and will get a lot out of it. Take care. Paul.
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Thanks (again!) for the kind words, Paul. Is your userpic from New Zealand? It is an absolutely gorgeous photo.
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