I hope.
This entry is directed towards kyozie and for him only. I want him to be the only one to comment, please.
Die,
Yesterday before I was kicked off by my Dad I realized how stupid I had been and was being. Everything I said last night was stupid. I shouldn't have said those things. And now because of it I'm afraid I've made you like me less, or worse hate me. You saw the evil side of me, and last night I swept that person away. I hope you can see past last night and remember the good times we've had and I hope will keep having. I was afraid. Afraid you had someone better. I get jealous easily, and it's worse when the person I'm jealous about; I like. It's selfish and downright childish of me to have these jealous feelings towards you. Worse when I doubt you tell the truth to me. I do trust you. Trust you enough to send my precious concert DVD all the way to New Jersey and might not ever see it again for all the know.
When you first came into my life, like a month ago; I felt blessed. I felt God, one who I despise the most for making my life miserable, had sent me a miracle. I was lonely, very lonely. I had secluded myself into isolation from my friends and family in real life. And what was worse was I also had no one online. I was depressed, and very sad. But you gave me the light I needed. I happily came on whenever I had (have) the chance, just to talk to you. You make my day so much better. And then it kind of hurts when you don't IM me, I think something is wrong; something I did was wrong. Doubting myself again. You're really the only person for a long time I've had who has made role playing essential to me. As much as I try to deny the fact that you may say the same things you do to me - to other people, I feel ecstatic inside when you do. God, I really don't know how to put all of this that I'm thinking in my head into words. Over 81% of the people on my buddy list I say about 5 things to then we don't know what to say; but with you there is always something to say. That was the first thing I realized which made you different from everyone else. You excepted me for who I am, what I want to be, and so on. And I except you for who you are. To me you are beautiful, to me you are so little from being perfect. I made a mistake last night Sammi, and I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can understand that I was hurting terribly inside and that is the way I release it. Nothing goes right for me, and nothing is. I'm sorry for saying those things, you have a right to not want to talk to me. I hope you can see it in your heart to forget everything.
<3 Kyo.
One more thing. I've been meaning to ask you something. Though, I always pictured you being the one to ask it. I understand, and so do you, that I have a boyfriend in real life. I hope you know that I'm only going out with her - to not hurt her feelings. I'm her first 'real' relationship, and from personal experience I know how much it hurts to be broken apart from. *Sighs and grabs one of your hands looking down*. It's been a long time since I've had an internet relationship. I used to say yes to anyone that asked, and asked anyone that I liked out. I really think that internet relationships are stupid and desperate, but I wanna try this one out.
Die, Sammi, Kyozie...would you like to go out with me? As an online boyfriend? I understand if you don't want to. But if I read your words and feelings right, you might want the same thing? I'm not saying we have to get all serious and stuff, or say "I love you" or anything silly like that, I just wanted to somewhat make you mine.
Die,
Yesterday before I was kicked off by my Dad I realized how stupid I had been and was being. Everything I said last night was stupid. I shouldn't have said those things. And now because of it I'm afraid I've made you like me less, or worse hate me. You saw the evil side of me, and last night I swept that person away. I hope you can see past last night and remember the good times we've had and I hope will keep having. I was afraid. Afraid you had someone better. I get jealous easily, and it's worse when the person I'm jealous about; I like. It's selfish and downright childish of me to have these jealous feelings towards you. Worse when I doubt you tell the truth to me. I do trust you. Trust you enough to send my precious concert DVD all the way to New Jersey and might not ever see it again for all the know.
When you first came into my life, like a month ago; I felt blessed. I felt God, one who I despise the most for making my life miserable, had sent me a miracle. I was lonely, very lonely. I had secluded myself into isolation from my friends and family in real life. And what was worse was I also had no one online. I was depressed, and very sad. But you gave me the light I needed. I happily came on whenever I had (have) the chance, just to talk to you. You make my day so much better. And then it kind of hurts when you don't IM me, I think something is wrong; something I did was wrong. Doubting myself again. You're really the only person for a long time I've had who has made role playing essential to me. As much as I try to deny the fact that you may say the same things you do to me - to other people, I feel ecstatic inside when you do. God, I really don't know how to put all of this that I'm thinking in my head into words. Over 81% of the people on my buddy list I say about 5 things to then we don't know what to say; but with you there is always something to say. That was the first thing I realized which made you different from everyone else. You excepted me for who I am, what I want to be, and so on. And I except you for who you are. To me you are beautiful, to me you are so little from being perfect. I made a mistake last night Sammi, and I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can understand that I was hurting terribly inside and that is the way I release it. Nothing goes right for me, and nothing is. I'm sorry for saying those things, you have a right to not want to talk to me. I hope you can see it in your heart to forget everything.
<3 Kyo.
One more thing. I've been meaning to ask you something. Though, I always pictured you being the one to ask it. I understand, and so do you, that I have a boyfriend in real life. I hope you know that I'm only going out with her - to not hurt her feelings. I'm her first 'real' relationship, and from personal experience I know how much it hurts to be broken apart from. *Sighs and grabs one of your hands looking down*. It's been a long time since I've had an internet relationship. I used to say yes to anyone that asked, and asked anyone that I liked out. I really think that internet relationships are stupid and desperate, but I wanna try this one out.
Die, Sammi, Kyozie...would you like to go out with me? As an online boyfriend? I understand if you don't want to. But if I read your words and feelings right, you might want the same thing? I'm not saying we have to get all serious and stuff, or say "I love you" or anything silly like that, I just wanted to somewhat make you mine.