you've been doing that for so long...at this point, what ELSE can you do? Danny's right, nothing you do is going to matter unless he wants help, which doesn't sound like the case. you've done so much already meg, SO much, especially with the stuff about schools , and it seems to go totally unappreciated...it sounds cliche, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink.
and, honestly, this comment is completely objective and written with no mean undertone whatsoever--i wrote it as if i didn't know who it was
Another cliche is God helps those who help themselves. Basically until he takes initiative there's nothing that anyone can really do for him simply because he doesn't want it... or probably more accurately, doesn't realize he wants it.
That's my $.02, hope it helps, sorry I can't help more...
No matter how much you want to help that person you can not help them if they don't want to. If you do somehow get through to them you must get them to professional help I'm talking about full time rehab center. This person seem like they have the self control or handle on the issues to be out and going in at time to time.
What I have to say is hard, this persons sounds like they are going to start going down hard and very soon! You have to try to do what you can and the STOP! I'm not being mean but it sounds like you might put yourself into a position to get taken with them, such as he looses his job and you let him stay with you or borrow some money. That will just enable him and drag you with him. Push to get him to a stay rehab center, if for whatever reason that can't be done seperate youself, I konw that is a hard and mean thing to say but its what must be done if this person cannot realize what they are doing.
Not much that I can say that already hasn't been said, but here it goes. I know your a good person and want to help those you care about when they need you, but you need to know when to step back and realize that there isn't much you can do. If four months of trying to help him hasn't worked then I highly doubt anything else you try to do will make a difference. It's not easy to do but you need to stand back and hope he wises up and changes his ways.
From the looks of things it seems like he's heading for a fall; and trust me, you DO NOT want to get too involved when he hits rock bottom because all it will do is add a huge amount of strife to your life. You've done your part to help him, now it's time for him to do his.
Comments 4
you've been doing that for so long...at this point, what ELSE can you do? Danny's right, nothing you do is going to matter unless he wants help, which doesn't sound like the case. you've done so much already meg, SO much, especially with the stuff about schools , and it seems to go totally unappreciated...it sounds cliche, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink.
and, honestly, this comment is completely objective and written with no mean undertone whatsoever--i wrote it as if i didn't know who it was
Reply
Another cliche is God helps those who help themselves. Basically until he takes initiative there's nothing that anyone can really do for him simply because he doesn't want it... or probably more accurately, doesn't realize he wants it.
That's my $.02, hope it helps, sorry I can't help more...
Reply
What I have to say is hard, this persons sounds like they are going to start going down hard and very soon! You have to try to do what you can and the STOP! I'm not being mean but it sounds like you might put yourself into a position to get taken with them, such as he looses his job and you let him stay with you or borrow some money. That will just enable him and drag you with him. Push to get him to a stay rehab center, if for whatever reason that can't be done seperate youself, I konw that is a hard and mean thing to say but its what must be done if this person cannot realize what they are doing.
Reply
From the looks of things it seems like he's heading for a fall; and trust me, you DO NOT want to get too involved when he hits rock bottom because all it will do is add a huge amount of strife to your life. You've done your part to help him, now it's time for him to do his.
Reply
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