Fatal Affairs Of The Heart Chapter 5
It's been awhile....
Her eyes were red, she knew it. She hated when her eyes were red, but it couldn't be helped, not after a night full of crying. She felt so dirty and unworthy that she had spent nearly two hours in the tub, scrubbing her skin raw for fear someone would know what she had done. And the question that ran through her head now, for the hundredth time, how could she?
Meryl pulled herself out of the big bed she shared with Don and padded her way downstairs for some coffee. Damn him. Now everywhere she looked, she was reminded that she was a cheater, an adulterer, a slut. She made a mental note to get rid of them as soon as possible. Besides, she didn't need Louisa coming home and asking all sorts of questions as to why the apartment had been turned into a funeral home. Where was that child anyway? Oh, right. Meryl remembered she had text that she was staying at Sarah's overnight. Something to do with dress shopping the next day. Well, she was glad for the time alone because she didn't need to be dealing with a moody teenager on top of all this.
The coffee tasted good going down, it was hot and strong, but sweetened with creamer. She still hadn't contacted Don. He was probably going crazy wondering what she thought of the roses and if they made any difference at all. Well, they may not have changed her mind about letting him come home, but a certain Italian man definitely had, unintentionally. Meryl was so wracked with guilt over what she had done that a little slap on her cheek seemed to pale in comparison. And look how she had reacted? Imagine if he knew? All hell would break loose. He would probably leave her. It could mean divorce. It could mean scandal. It could ruin her reputation and her family. How could she had been so stupidly impulsive???
She was going to have to do a lot of lying now. And pretending. But hey, that's what she gets paid to do, is it not? How hard could it be really? Actually, difficultly doesn't even really matter, what choice does she have? Telling him that she had slept with a complete stranger was NOT an option. She set her coffee down and picked up her phone, deciding that if she were going to forgive him and have half a chance of distracting him from the signs of her guilt that now would be as good a time as any. She typed out a message.
The roses are beautiful.
There. Don would know that meant he was forgiven. She sat back and thought about what else she could do. Acting too forgiving would set him off for sure. So, she decided to wait. She'd see what was said and think about letting him come home. Her phone beeped.
I miss you.
God, this was the most awkward they had ever been in their relationship. One sentence texts? Really? She supposed it was understandable. She knows now how it feels to be painfully sorry about something and aware of how sensitive you have to be with words until the trust is reinstated. Meryl sent back another text.
Come home.
There. Dealing with him in person would be better. Not easier, but better. She abandoned the last few sips of her coffee and climbed the stairs to get dressed, choosing a loose fitting sweater and jeans to hide her shame. Don replied.
Leaving now. I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise I'll make it up to you.
x D
Great. Now she could expect him in a couple hours time and these damn roses would have to stay. Was she really ready to face him after what he's done? After what she'd done? Too late to contemplate it now, what's done is done. He was on his way home.
*************************************
Don came through the door to an eerily silent apartment. He glanced about, taking in the roses and dropped his bag by the door, going in search for her. She wasn't downstairs anywhere, so he took the steps two at a time and headed straight for their bedroom, finding her asleep over the duvet. She looked so completely helpless and innocent and angelic in her sleep that it nearly crushed him. Shame wasn't a strong enough word for how he felt. He tentatively tip-toed to the bed and slid on beside her, settling his body against hers. He tried to move as fluidly as he could so as not to wake her, but her eyes fluttered open sleepily anyway.
Meryl instantly felt his body close to hers and his arm around her torso when she woke. She instinctively turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. "Oh, Don", she coked.
His eyes teared up a bit at the hurt in her voice. He had sworn that he would never be that kind of man. He had promised her father that he would never ever lay a hand on her and here he was disappointing everyone and hurting the love of his life.
"I know. I know", he soothed. She was shaking against him, meaning that she was crying silently into his neck. It was weird to be calming her down when he should be apologizing, but he knew it was because she had never wanted him gone in the first place. It had probably taken all of her inner strength to cut him off and stand her ground. "I'm so sorry, baby. This is all my fault."
He held her tight as she sniffled and raised her head, unexpectedly kissing him with need. He was shocked for a moment, but quickly responded, kissing her back with fever. Their mouths opened together and their tongues lapped together over and over as their lips moved. She broke the kiss and embraced him again like before. Like she were about to lose him. "Don't ever leave me, Don. Promise me. Promise you won't go away?", she begged.
Her sudden pleading had him totally confused. It would make more sense for him to be begging her for a second chance, for a future together even after what he'd done. But he kept it to himself and reassured her. He pulled her back to look into her eyes. "Meryl, you are never, EVER going to get rid of me. I will always stay with you, always. I can only pray that you'll take me back, sweetheart because I love you so so much and I never meant to hurt you. I would do anything for a second chance. Please don't give up on me just yet"
"Don, I love you. I'm sorry. I never should have talked to you like that. I know you were just looking after me--", she started, sniffling and wiping her face on the back of her sleeve.
"No. No", he cut her off. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I just saw that script and wasn't thinking, darling. I know it's just a movie, but it made me feel uncomfortable.", he explained.
She looked up at him through wet eyelashes. "Why?"
Don sighed and sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Because....", he trailed off.
She moved to sit beside him and waited for him to continue.
"Because, I was jealous"
Meryl gave an understanding sigh. Of course that was the reason, she had thought as much. But why he would feel that way she couldn't understand. They had been over this issue in the past, far in the past. Like right at the beginning of her career when kissing other guys first got brought up.
"Don, we've talked about this before. You have no reason to feel insecure about it"
"Ugh, great. Now you probably think I'm always feeling insecure when you're kissing other men." He got up and started pacing back and forth across the floor.
"No. I just think there must be some other reason for you to feel that way.", she corrected. "And when have I ever made you feel like you couldn't trust me?"
"It's not about trust, Meryl. Of course I trust you. It's just a bit of a blow to my ego is all. You think I like admitting that I'm jealous of that asshole?"
She stood from the bed, it settling in. "Oh, so this is what it's all about", she declared.
Don stopped. "What?", he asked, confused by the certainty in her voice.
"It's because it's Alec, right?"
"Well, I can't help it if I just don't like the guy"
"It shouldn't matter if you don't like him or not. I don't even have to like him, honestly. I just have to work with him"
She moved to the mirror, checking her makeup which was expectantly smeared from crying. "What's not to like anyway?"
Don couldn't understand how she couldn't see it. It must be a 'woman' thing. He has them all fooled, thinking he's this great, charming guy when in reality he's a narcissistic womanizer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that he's full of himself? Or that he thinks he can have any woman he wants? Or that the woman he's currently after is YOU?!"
He was loosing his shit. She narrowed her eyes at him. "That's what you really think, Don?"
He nodded his head vigorously, throwing his arms up. "Yes!"
Meryl couldn't help it. She had to laugh at the absurdity.
"Are you seriously laughing right now??", Don asked.
"I'm sorry--", she started, giggles overtaking her again. "I'm sorry, really.", she took a minute to get her laughter under control. When it subsided, she moved to Don, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I love YOU. The only man I'm ever going to want is YOU. You have nothing to worry about with him, I promise you." She laid her head on his shoulder as he gave in to her sweet words and hugged her back, but she couldn't help that her mind automatically corrected herself saying "You have nothing to worry about with him, but I can't guarantee anything when it comes to Paolo".....
Her eyes were red, she knew it. She hated when her eyes were red, but it couldn't be helped, not after a night full of crying. She felt so dirty and unworthy that she had spent nearly two hours in the tub, scrubbing her skin raw for fear someone would know what she had done. And the question that ran through her head now, for the hundredth time, how could she?
Meryl pulled herself out of the big bed she shared with Don and padded her way downstairs for some coffee. Damn him. Now everywhere she looked, she was reminded that she was a cheater, an adulterer, a slut. She made a mental note to get rid of them as soon as possible. Besides, she didn't need Louisa coming home and asking all sorts of questions as to why the apartment had been turned into a funeral home. Where was that child anyway? Oh, right. Meryl remembered she had text that she was staying at Sarah's overnight. Something to do with dress shopping the next day. Well, she was glad for the time alone because she didn't need to be dealing with a moody teenager on top of all this.
The coffee tasted good going down, it was hot and strong, but sweetened with creamer. She still hadn't contacted Don. He was probably going crazy wondering what she thought of the roses and if they made any difference at all. Well, they may not have changed her mind about letting him come home, but a certain Italian man definitely had, unintentionally. Meryl was so wracked with guilt over what she had done that a little slap on her cheek seemed to pale in comparison. And look how she had reacted? Imagine if he knew? All hell would break loose. He would probably leave her. It could mean divorce. It could mean scandal. It could ruin her reputation and her family. How could she had been so stupidly impulsive???
She was going to have to do a lot of lying now. And pretending. But hey, that's what she gets paid to do, is it not? How hard could it be really? Actually, difficultly doesn't even really matter, what choice does she have? Telling him that she had slept with a complete stranger was NOT an option. She set her coffee down and picked up her phone, deciding that if she were going to forgive him and have half a chance of distracting him from the signs of her guilt that now would be as good a time as any. She typed out a message.
The roses are beautiful.
There. Don would know that meant he was forgiven. She sat back and thought about what else she could do. Acting too forgiving would set him off for sure. So, she decided to wait. She'd see what was said and think about letting him come home. Her phone beeped.
I miss you.
God, this was the most awkward they had ever been in their relationship. One sentence texts? Really? She supposed it was understandable. She knows now how it feels to be painfully sorry about something and aware of how sensitive you have to be with words until the trust is reinstated. Meryl sent back another text.
Come home.
There. Dealing with him in person would be better. Not easier, but better. She abandoned the last few sips of her coffee and climbed the stairs to get dressed, choosing a loose fitting sweater and jeans to hide her shame. Don replied.
Leaving now. I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise I'll make it up to you.
x D
Great. Now she could expect him in a couple hours time and these damn roses would have to stay. Was she really ready to face him after what he's done? After what she'd done? Too late to contemplate it now, what's done is done. He was on his way home.
*************************************
Don came through the door to an eerily silent apartment. He glanced about, taking in the roses and dropped his bag by the door, going in search for her. She wasn't downstairs anywhere, so he took the steps two at a time and headed straight for their bedroom, finding her asleep over the duvet. She looked so completely helpless and innocent and angelic in her sleep that it nearly crushed him. Shame wasn't a strong enough word for how he felt. He tentatively tip-toed to the bed and slid on beside her, settling his body against hers. He tried to move as fluidly as he could so as not to wake her, but her eyes fluttered open sleepily anyway.
Meryl instantly felt his body close to hers and his arm around her torso when she woke. She instinctively turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. "Oh, Don", she coked.
His eyes teared up a bit at the hurt in her voice. He had sworn that he would never be that kind of man. He had promised her father that he would never ever lay a hand on her and here he was disappointing everyone and hurting the love of his life.
"I know. I know", he soothed. She was shaking against him, meaning that she was crying silently into his neck. It was weird to be calming her down when he should be apologizing, but he knew it was because she had never wanted him gone in the first place. It had probably taken all of her inner strength to cut him off and stand her ground. "I'm so sorry, baby. This is all my fault."
He held her tight as she sniffled and raised her head, unexpectedly kissing him with need. He was shocked for a moment, but quickly responded, kissing her back with fever. Their mouths opened together and their tongues lapped together over and over as their lips moved. She broke the kiss and embraced him again like before. Like she were about to lose him. "Don't ever leave me, Don. Promise me. Promise you won't go away?", she begged.
Her sudden pleading had him totally confused. It would make more sense for him to be begging her for a second chance, for a future together even after what he'd done. But he kept it to himself and reassured her. He pulled her back to look into her eyes. "Meryl, you are never, EVER going to get rid of me. I will always stay with you, always. I can only pray that you'll take me back, sweetheart because I love you so so much and I never meant to hurt you. I would do anything for a second chance. Please don't give up on me just yet"
"Don, I love you. I'm sorry. I never should have talked to you like that. I know you were just looking after me--", she started, sniffling and wiping her face on the back of her sleeve.
"No. No", he cut her off. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I just saw that script and wasn't thinking, darling. I know it's just a movie, but it made me feel uncomfortable.", he explained.
She looked up at him through wet eyelashes. "Why?"
Don sighed and sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Because....", he trailed off.
She moved to sit beside him and waited for him to continue.
"Because, I was jealous"
Meryl gave an understanding sigh. Of course that was the reason, she had thought as much. But why he would feel that way she couldn't understand. They had been over this issue in the past, far in the past. Like right at the beginning of her career when kissing other guys first got brought up.
"Don, we've talked about this before. You have no reason to feel insecure about it"
"Ugh, great. Now you probably think I'm always feeling insecure when you're kissing other men." He got up and started pacing back and forth across the floor.
"No. I just think there must be some other reason for you to feel that way.", she corrected. "And when have I ever made you feel like you couldn't trust me?"
"It's not about trust, Meryl. Of course I trust you. It's just a bit of a blow to my ego is all. You think I like admitting that I'm jealous of that asshole?"
She stood from the bed, it settling in. "Oh, so this is what it's all about", she declared.
Don stopped. "What?", he asked, confused by the certainty in her voice.
"It's because it's Alec, right?"
"Well, I can't help it if I just don't like the guy"
"It shouldn't matter if you don't like him or not. I don't even have to like him, honestly. I just have to work with him"
She moved to the mirror, checking her makeup which was expectantly smeared from crying. "What's not to like anyway?"
Don couldn't understand how she couldn't see it. It must be a 'woman' thing. He has them all fooled, thinking he's this great, charming guy when in reality he's a narcissistic womanizer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that he's full of himself? Or that he thinks he can have any woman he wants? Or that the woman he's currently after is YOU?!"
He was loosing his shit. She narrowed her eyes at him. "That's what you really think, Don?"
He nodded his head vigorously, throwing his arms up. "Yes!"
Meryl couldn't help it. She had to laugh at the absurdity.
"Are you seriously laughing right now??", Don asked.
"I'm sorry--", she started, giggles overtaking her again. "I'm sorry, really.", she took a minute to get her laughter under control. When it subsided, she moved to Don, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I love YOU. The only man I'm ever going to want is YOU. You have nothing to worry about with him, I promise you." She laid her head on his shoulder as he gave in to her sweet words and hugged her back, but she couldn't help that her mind automatically corrected herself saying "You have nothing to worry about with him, but I can't guarantee anything when it comes to Paolo".....