another week is over and i have now developed the theory that my curfew/bedtime is simply a state of mind and that to take it seriously is to not embrace being a teenager. My week has been spent with new medicines, new people, and new experiences...how fucking cheezy..yup. Three times this week Kalen and I have been ridiculous and idiotic... ( Read more... )

well now that is true ( Read more... )

i just got home from some late night bowling with kalen...a very nice distraction and now i am very content. I've given up on letting people get to me. I think that is good...yup.

um so weird thing i like prayed last night.....let me just explain that i don't pray, never...it's not who i am. i'm not religious in the least but when you feel like someone is digging out your insides out its scary and you feel vulnerable and all i could do is just hope that it would go away that something will change and you won't be sick ( Read more... )

I am not proud of how i've acted today because i contemplated doing not good things. but realizing that i had people like maria and max made me realize that life is worth it. I'm in pain and people somehow feel the need to make me feel worthless, i didn't do anything and I know that so why did i almost do something stupid...because I care too ( Read more... )

wow watching bridget get so excited for a boy last night made me realize that i lack that boy crazy gene...or maybe its on hiatus. well bridget and i went to a scottish party with my rents and hung out with cove. cove seemed pretty down and it turned out that one of his friends had killed himself the day before so obviously that is a reason to be ( Read more... )

i had a very odd evening...kinda was sucking then went bowling with andrew, max, tempest, lizzy and emma which was fun...there was an obsession with temporary tatoos and plastic rings that i enjoyed...we then got pizza and hung out at max's and talked and listened to cell phones and discussed native americans and andrew and max boxed. well it was ( Read more... )

um wow...i haven't been this scared in awhile, according to my doctor i am definitely sick most likely it's IBS or colitis...neither is good...to top it off my asthma came back. They took three tubes of my blood for testing which was painful and explained to be its good possibly be a very bad illness, if it's colitis it means that my colon is ( Read more... )

i hate people telling me what i feel, fucking pisses me off...new semester begins...same shit everything. I'm done, i can't wait to go to seattle sadly it's like a month away. mya sent me an email explaining that she had abnormal cells that gave her a 95 percent chance of having cancer when she had a procedure to get it removed it went badly and ( Read more... )

don't know why but I randomly remembered this day in the hall i was drinking a soda and talking to dom and gabe and gabe randomly was like "hey wanna see a picture of my girlfriend?" and i said yeah and he pulled out a photo of fiona apple...this is the most random memories possible but I heard fiona apple on the radio so i guess it makes sense, ( Read more... )