Erased Chapter 1

[meganchiefette]

Dom gazed into the large room where Matt’s piano was, from his drum kit he could see the raven haired singer compose wonderful melodies with his magical fingers. He watched lustfully, and felt an aching feeling inside his stomach. It was a frequent feeling as Dom knew his love for Matt was unrequited. He had felt this way about his best friend

Comments

[terrabrandford]

You have a very good beginning to your story, although I would put just a tiny bit more description of the surroundings in it. Describe even more how they feel each other and how the tension is.
Overall, good job so far.