i hope you're worth what i'm about to give up
momentum for the sake of momentum
the nicest bitch you’ll ever meet
the girl: my name is bianca, but everyone knows me as bonka. i was born on august 4th, 1986 making me 23 years old and a leo (nothing describes me better). i ‘ve been on lj since 2004 (i believe) and was on TOD (since 2000) before the site went all crapped out. TOD/LJ has given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people, whom I’ve come to love and adore. as of right now, i’m in school trying to finish up my AA in business administration. my two career goals in life are 1) to work at the FED and 2) work with dave ramsey (!) when i finish my AA in business, i want to get another AA in finance, but i’m not sure that will happen, seeing as though the schools i’m looking at don’t have that sort of thing. so i may just go for a pharmacy tech. i am a book nerd and my taste in music is scattered haha. i'm not afraid to say what i'm thinking (nice or not so nice) if you don’t already know me, then i think i should foreworn you of my vocabulary. douche, douche bag, throat punch, that’s gay, twat face, OMG, and dude shut the fuck up are just some of my daily words. if you can’t handle that, or you think it’s offensive, i suggest moving on.
new to mommy hood: my son ethan parker was born on october 23rd, 2009 at 2:47PM during law and order: CI (my favorite show on earth) he was 8lbs 11oz and 21 ¾ inches long. He has been the best thing to ever happen to me. i never wanted kids and finding out i was pregnant in february 09 was the hardest day of my life. i had decided right then and there that i wasn’t having him; i couldn’t. i never wanted kids and it just wasn’t going to happen. I remember dr. e. telling me to not rush into anything and that he wanted to see me back in a week to check on me. i said ‘ok’ (while tears were coming down like a dam had just broken) and knew i wasn’t coming back. i was on tricare prime at the time, so they automatically switch you over the naval hospital (cheap bastards) and thus this is how my mom found out (i had only told my sister, my friend ashley, and trent). some stupid ass receptionist called wanting to make my first prenatal appointment. my mom called me at work and was like ‘did you forget to tell me something?’ and i honestly didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about..and it went back and forth for a while and then she finally said ‘the naval hospital just called’ and i said under my breath ‘oh shit’ and that was it. i asked her if we could talk about it when i got home. needless to say, i came through the door crying telling my mom and sister i was going to have an abortion etc etc. my appt was already set for the following week. well for the next couple days, i couldn’t sleep without having nightmares and finally decided i couldn’t go through with it. so my wonderful baby boy was the end result and i couldn’t have it any other way.
trent (old man): ethan’s father. we met in october (funny now that I think about it) of 2007 when i went to his shop to get my brakes checked out (he had fixed my mom’s brakes a week or two ago) anyway he didn’t really fix my brakes so i had to end up going back like three times and i’m pretty sure he thought i was stupid haha. anyway he had waited until it was 6PM and was like ‘so now that i’m off work, how about we talk’ and he asked for my number etc etc. well we went on a date, which was a total disaster because i was having issues with my then boyfriend (i will get to him later) so after a few failed attempts at hanging out again, we stopped talking. then in the summer of 2008, we started talking again (i had gotten a new phone/phone # and didn’t realize he was still in my phone) and here we are today. he lied to me when i asked if he was married the first time we hung out, and didn’t key me in on it until may 2008 when i was already 5 months pregnant (two minutes before an interview mind you). saying in a text ‘he didn’t think he could be in this 100% because him and his wife were trying to work things out’ i should’ve stuck with it when i told him to go to hell and never wanted to see/speak to him again. but obviously that didn’t take. he’s been shitty in the dad department along with the making me feel like a jackass department. i’m slowly trying to wean myself from him, but it’s harder than i thought it would be.
adam daniel (the ex): met him one night in end of june/first part of july 2006 at dairy queen when jamie (the bestie) and i were eating our blizzards outside. he came roaring around the corner in his dark blue chevy s-10 thinking he was hot shit. jamie got all excited when he saw her and yelled her name (they used to hang together when she was a senior and he was already out of school or something). you should really trust your first impressions; no joke. i thought he was a total idiot and that he was allergic to telling the truth. from then on, jamie would get so excited when he’d call to hang out. things with her and i went to shit when he wanted to hang out with me (without her) and would call me all the time. he told me one night ‘that he wasn’t sure if he even had time for a girlfriend, but wanted to give it a try’ and asked me out. i told him i’d get back to him because deep down i wanted to ask ashley and jamie. ashley was all for it while jamie told me flat out ‘he’s a druggie’ yadda yadda. i knew she was mad and didn’t think i had anything to lose, so i told him ‘what the hell’ and so that ladies and gents started the tumultuous 2 ½ year on again off again relationship of ours. he will flat out tell you he’s not an alcoholic when he knows damn well he is. he has to be the center of attention and everyone’s friend (even if it gets him in trouble or arrested) he couldn’t take my sarcastic tone and would call me a bitch ALL THE TIME. I lost my two best friends because of him. he recently got out of jail for ‘allegedly’ raping a 16 yr old girl. i haven’t spoken to or seen him since the night i told him (and he understood) he upsets my balance and i didn’t think i could have him in my life.
jamie (the bestie): we’ve been best friends since 2000 (9th grade) she means everything to me. we stopped talking when i ultimately chose adam over here not necessarily realizing it. it was a good year/year and a half we didn’t see or speak to one another and the only reason why we are back on track is because my FB page said i was pregnant. i wouldn’t change our relationship for the world. we’ve been through thick and thin and back again. we are exactly alike (with the exception of her being a hopeless romantic) and think the same way. we say what we say and mean what we mean. she always knows the right time to call etc etc. we will remain best friends til the day we die.
ashley shep: the other best friend i lost due to my relationship with adam. she told me she no longer wanted to be my friend because i had changed. We stopped talking and didn’t start up again until last year sometime. she gave birth to her beautiful daughter and ethan’s future girlfriend (LOL), trinity on january 22nd, 2009.
my mom: she is my rock and my best friend. she is always there for me and tells me like it is. i always joked to my friends that i’d never leave home, and well i didn’t. we do pretty much everything together and she is one cool ass chick haha.
my father: the douche. he wasn’t always a douche; just in the recent months has this come about. he only cares about himself and anaima (his mom). he hasn’t seen or asked about ethan since i took ethan over there in november. he cheated on my mom while he was stationed at ft bragg. they divorced in october of 2008 but it was a long time coming. he always told us (my sister and brother) that as soon as we turned 18, he was divorcing my mom (only because he didn’t want to pay child support) so i guess it’s clear now that he never really cared about anyone except for himself. we always had a good relationship and i’m not exactly sure what happened.
nik (the bro): he’s a complete idiot and i say that with love. he only comes around when he needs something, but never holds a grudge. his brain is fried from all the drug use, i’m sure but he has a good heart.
tasha (the older sis): three words: one conniving bitch she now lives with my dad because she moved out of here july of 2009. she has two kids (niece: bela, nephew: logan; who has down syndrome) she wants everyone to do the work for her and when that someone stops, she makes her way to the next person and then shits on the last person who stopped helping her. she refuses to work (giving every excuse in the book) and lets the government pay her way (as well as anyone else). she is hateful and thinks she is owed the world because she doesn’t want to sleep in the bed she made.
the girls of my heart:kara (kara),captivas (lydia),fightingsleep (keri), ___lovecollides (maria), accomplishment (jessica), and teapetals (dani). these girls are my rock. they’ve been with me since the TOD days and have seen me at my worse. they tell me how it is and i am so grateful to have come across them.
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the nicest bitch you’ll ever meet
the girl: my name is bianca, but everyone knows me as bonka. i was born on august 4th, 1986 making me 23 years old and a leo (nothing describes me better). i ‘ve been on lj since 2004 (i believe) and was on TOD (since 2000) before the site went all crapped out. TOD/LJ has given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people, whom I’ve come to love and adore. as of right now, i’m in school trying to finish up my AA in business administration. my two career goals in life are 1) to work at the FED and 2) work with dave ramsey (!) when i finish my AA in business, i want to get another AA in finance, but i’m not sure that will happen, seeing as though the schools i’m looking at don’t have that sort of thing. so i may just go for a pharmacy tech. i am a book nerd and my taste in music is scattered haha. i'm not afraid to say what i'm thinking (nice or not so nice) if you don’t already know me, then i think i should foreworn you of my vocabulary. douche, douche bag, throat punch, that’s gay, twat face, OMG, and dude shut the fuck up are just some of my daily words. if you can’t handle that, or you think it’s offensive, i suggest moving on.
new to mommy hood: my son ethan parker was born on october 23rd, 2009 at 2:47PM during law and order: CI (my favorite show on earth) he was 8lbs 11oz and 21 ¾ inches long. He has been the best thing to ever happen to me. i never wanted kids and finding out i was pregnant in february 09 was the hardest day of my life. i had decided right then and there that i wasn’t having him; i couldn’t. i never wanted kids and it just wasn’t going to happen. I remember dr. e. telling me to not rush into anything and that he wanted to see me back in a week to check on me. i said ‘ok’ (while tears were coming down like a dam had just broken) and knew i wasn’t coming back. i was on tricare prime at the time, so they automatically switch you over the naval hospital (cheap bastards) and thus this is how my mom found out (i had only told my sister, my friend ashley, and trent). some stupid ass receptionist called wanting to make my first prenatal appointment. my mom called me at work and was like ‘did you forget to tell me something?’ and i honestly didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about..and it went back and forth for a while and then she finally said ‘the naval hospital just called’ and i said under my breath ‘oh shit’ and that was it. i asked her if we could talk about it when i got home. needless to say, i came through the door crying telling my mom and sister i was going to have an abortion etc etc. my appt was already set for the following week. well for the next couple days, i couldn’t sleep without having nightmares and finally decided i couldn’t go through with it. so my wonderful baby boy was the end result and i couldn’t have it any other way.
trent (old man): ethan’s father. we met in october (funny now that I think about it) of 2007 when i went to his shop to get my brakes checked out (he had fixed my mom’s brakes a week or two ago) anyway he didn’t really fix my brakes so i had to end up going back like three times and i’m pretty sure he thought i was stupid haha. anyway he had waited until it was 6PM and was like ‘so now that i’m off work, how about we talk’ and he asked for my number etc etc. well we went on a date, which was a total disaster because i was having issues with my then boyfriend (i will get to him later) so after a few failed attempts at hanging out again, we stopped talking. then in the summer of 2008, we started talking again (i had gotten a new phone/phone # and didn’t realize he was still in my phone) and here we are today. he lied to me when i asked if he was married the first time we hung out, and didn’t key me in on it until may 2008 when i was already 5 months pregnant (two minutes before an interview mind you). saying in a text ‘he didn’t think he could be in this 100% because him and his wife were trying to work things out’ i should’ve stuck with it when i told him to go to hell and never wanted to see/speak to him again. but obviously that didn’t take. he’s been shitty in the dad department along with the making me feel like a jackass department. i’m slowly trying to wean myself from him, but it’s harder than i thought it would be.
adam daniel (the ex): met him one night in end of june/first part of july 2006 at dairy queen when jamie (the bestie) and i were eating our blizzards outside. he came roaring around the corner in his dark blue chevy s-10 thinking he was hot shit. jamie got all excited when he saw her and yelled her name (they used to hang together when she was a senior and he was already out of school or something). you should really trust your first impressions; no joke. i thought he was a total idiot and that he was allergic to telling the truth. from then on, jamie would get so excited when he’d call to hang out. things with her and i went to shit when he wanted to hang out with me (without her) and would call me all the time. he told me one night ‘that he wasn’t sure if he even had time for a girlfriend, but wanted to give it a try’ and asked me out. i told him i’d get back to him because deep down i wanted to ask ashley and jamie. ashley was all for it while jamie told me flat out ‘he’s a druggie’ yadda yadda. i knew she was mad and didn’t think i had anything to lose, so i told him ‘what the hell’ and so that ladies and gents started the tumultuous 2 ½ year on again off again relationship of ours. he will flat out tell you he’s not an alcoholic when he knows damn well he is. he has to be the center of attention and everyone’s friend (even if it gets him in trouble or arrested) he couldn’t take my sarcastic tone and would call me a bitch ALL THE TIME. I lost my two best friends because of him. he recently got out of jail for ‘allegedly’ raping a 16 yr old girl. i haven’t spoken to or seen him since the night i told him (and he understood) he upsets my balance and i didn’t think i could have him in my life.
jamie (the bestie): we’ve been best friends since 2000 (9th grade) she means everything to me. we stopped talking when i ultimately chose adam over here not necessarily realizing it. it was a good year/year and a half we didn’t see or speak to one another and the only reason why we are back on track is because my FB page said i was pregnant. i wouldn’t change our relationship for the world. we’ve been through thick and thin and back again. we are exactly alike (with the exception of her being a hopeless romantic) and think the same way. we say what we say and mean what we mean. she always knows the right time to call etc etc. we will remain best friends til the day we die.
ashley shep: the other best friend i lost due to my relationship with adam. she told me she no longer wanted to be my friend because i had changed. We stopped talking and didn’t start up again until last year sometime. she gave birth to her beautiful daughter and ethan’s future girlfriend (LOL), trinity on january 22nd, 2009.
my mom: she is my rock and my best friend. she is always there for me and tells me like it is. i always joked to my friends that i’d never leave home, and well i didn’t. we do pretty much everything together and she is one cool ass chick haha.
my father: the douche. he wasn’t always a douche; just in the recent months has this come about. he only cares about himself and anaima (his mom). he hasn’t seen or asked about ethan since i took ethan over there in november. he cheated on my mom while he was stationed at ft bragg. they divorced in october of 2008 but it was a long time coming. he always told us (my sister and brother) that as soon as we turned 18, he was divorcing my mom (only because he didn’t want to pay child support) so i guess it’s clear now that he never really cared about anyone except for himself. we always had a good relationship and i’m not exactly sure what happened.
nik (the bro): he’s a complete idiot and i say that with love. he only comes around when he needs something, but never holds a grudge. his brain is fried from all the drug use, i’m sure but he has a good heart.
tasha (the older sis): three words: one conniving bitch she now lives with my dad because she moved out of here july of 2009. she has two kids (niece: bela, nephew: logan; who has down syndrome) she wants everyone to do the work for her and when that someone stops, she makes her way to the next person and then shits on the last person who stopped helping her. she refuses to work (giving every excuse in the book) and lets the government pay her way (as well as anyone else). she is hateful and thinks she is owed the world because she doesn’t want to sleep in the bed she made.
the girls of my heart:kara (kara),captivas (lydia),fightingsleep (keri), ___lovecollides (maria), accomplishment (jessica), and teapetals (dani). these girls are my rock. they’ve been with me since the TOD days and have seen me at my worse. they tell me how it is and i am so grateful to have come across them.
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