andrew is gone...i was not doing very well at living in the moment. I’m not doing that well today either. I decided to finish up the cherry garcia icecream i bought on the way home last night for breakfast. I changed pajamas and stayed in the dorm all day in fuzzy lilac polar fleece ( Read more... )

Andrew came up for weekend, which was wonderful, but i think i not only had trouble doing work while he was here, but the day before, and at least the evening (if not the entire day after). I think this is mainly from the novelty of his visit, and my need to squeeze everything out of the short amount of time i have w/ him. I think if we are w/ ( Read more... )

yeah, i’m giddy b/c andrew’s coming up for the weekend tonight----about 12hrs til andrew...yay ( Read more... )

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I am talking to andrew’s dad on IM and have said the stuff i’ve needed to say for a while....like the past two weeks, after the throw last night that it kinda sorta means i feel like his family wants nothing to do to me....here’s the conversation ( Read more... )

i’m such a loser...there actually were a few interesting events on campus the past week...and i didn’t care....i sorta thought about going, but of course when the time came i couldn’t get off my butt and actually go....and not b/c i had work to do or anything either (though that was my after the fact excuse ( Read more... )

worked on grad school apps today...scary thing is they are easier than college apps (w/ the exception of harvard). Got all the little details filled out and a plan for the other stuff. Not as much work on thesis as i would have liked, but c’est la vie.

I had a pretty good shabbat today. I was so tired last night it wouldn’t have been safe for me to drive to church. Had nice long conversation w/ andrew last night from my bed--that was very shabboty. Today i looked at grad schools leisurely, and got a completely list, though i still think my original 2-3 options will be what i go for first. I ( Read more... )

what says it all:

“and i’m getting nowhere with you/ I can’t let it go, but I can’t get through”
(even with how hard we tried)

your family is not being very fair to either of us...sigh...but i want to respect them

this song is the exact song for recreating my mood this evening....the lyrics obviously don’t fit exactly, but the resigned desperation fits so well---the overall mood is right...i’ve had it on repeat for a while....you can see if this link to a demo works ( Read more... )