Destiny...(9/?)
a/n: italics are thoughts.
p.s. I wanted to write about them at the beach straightaway but I think I was struck by a whirlpool that decided to make me write this instead. So the beach is in chap 10, which…is not done yet =p enjoy! ♥
Jinki’s POV
“Why does umma thinks that you guys are my friends?” I asked as I mindlessly dumped the fruits that we’re having for the picnic into the picnic basket, which formed a pile on the side.
Jonghyun who’s sitting on the dining table hummed a melody while swinging his legs simply replied, “Because we made her, and aren’t we your friends already?” smiling.
“True……” I stalked off to help umma and Key who were packing the sandwiches they made into brightly colored lunchboxes. They came in purple, pink, yellow, blue, green, red and-why am I talking about the lunchboxes color! I mentally gave myself a slap on the back of my head.
“Ah! Jinki-ah! Would you mind to go to the storeroom and get me the picnic mat?” umma smiled worriedly after the question.
I nodded my head and chirped a “Ye~” before turning my heels and running towards the storeroom on the end of the hallway. How can I say no? Besides, that happened so long ago.
I twisted the doorknob on the heavy wooden door that leads me to the storeroom. Opening up a place where I’ve not been to since I was a kid. I’ve never like coming to the storeroom alone, not after that bad memory of my old kiddie ride pony which snapped and cost me a broken leg and……No way would I be going in there, too afraid that I would lose part of myself in there during my next visit.
******
Flashback
“Jinki-ah, be careful alright?” umma said as she was packing my old toys into some cardboard boxes with appa’s help.
Umma said I am growing older now and that I’m a little too old to be playing them anymore, so she’s packing them for my little dongsaeng who she said is sleeping in her big round tummy now! But I always wonder why does dongsaeng sleeps for such a long time in there. Doesn’t he want to play too?
I grinned happily to myself as I rode on my pony kiddie ride, the one that I love so much that appa bought it for me so that I wouldn’t drag them to the arcade everyday just to take a ride on it, “Ye umma~~”
While appa and umma were busy packing the toys behind me, the kiddie ride’s music came to a stop but I want more, since appa and umma were busy and they won’t have time to play with me. So I decided to make pony move myself.
“Move pony move!” I balanced myself standing on the pony while shaking the pony hard enough to make it move. Well, that’s what I thought.
While I was trying my best to shake pony to live, appa said with a tinge of worry in his tone, “Yah, Jinki-ah, stop shaking the pony and don’t stand on it, both pony and you might get hurt.” As he looked up after stacking one of the boxes in the corner of the room.
“But appa!! The pony stopped and I am trying to make it move! I’ll show you what I can do! Just watch!” I giggled as I shook pony with all my might.
I only remember hearing something snapped and my umma screaming no before waking up in a hospital ward with my appa on my side.
“…Appa, where are we?” I rubbed my eyes as I asked, throat feeling scratchy and dry. I wondered how long have I slept.
Appa smiled, “We’re at the hospital, you fainted at home, we were so worried,” he sighed as he combed my hair back with his warm fingers.
“Oh…then where’s umma?” I asked as I looked around the room and failed to spot umma.
“She’s resting too, but you can’t see her yet, she’s very weak now,” appa looked at me as he rubbed my back.
“..Why can’t I? I really want to see umma,” I pouted, but appa didn’t answer my question other than sighing and shaking his head slightly.
It was a week later when I was at home waiting for appa to come home with umma as he promised before leaving me with halmoni.
When the door opened, I ran forward and hugged my umma, tearing up a little. “Umma~~ I missed you so much, where have you been? Did you go out to play dongsaeng?” I pouted before eyeing my umma’s flat tummy.
“…Umma, where did dongsaeng go?” I asked as I stroked umma’s tummy lightly, not wanting to hurt umma or dongsaeng.
But umma only cried as she held me in her tight embrace, I felt teardrops on the back of my shirt as she cried even more. Before I could press on for an answer, appa just shook his head and shushed my question away when our eyes met.
After halmoni brought umma back to her room to rest, appa brought me out to the garden and sat me on his laps while we looked up in the sky, stars shining down on us.
“Jinki-ah, you can’t ride on your pony anymore you know that?” appa started as he rocked me back and forth on his laps.
“Hmm? Why not?” I asked with my little eyes still focusing on a very bright star in the sky.
“Because you broke it, told you not to shake it so hard,” appa chuckled as he stroked my head lovingly.
“Oww…pony broke? Then dongsaeng wouldn’t be able to ride on it next time,” I pouted before brightening up and continued, “but appa would get us a new one so that dongsaeng will get to ride pony too right?” I grinned brightly as I turned to face appa’s sad face.
“About your dongsaeng…Jinki-ah, you’re not having a dongsaeng anymore, he…went far far away,” appa sighed.
“But- but why? Does he not like me because I broke pony?” I started tearing, thinking that my little brother didn’t like me so he ran away.
“No no no, your dongsaeng doesn’t dislike you for that, he just, isn’t fated to be with us…” appa looked up to the sky pointing up, “he went there, to be with the stars.”
I sniffed as I looked at where appa was pointing, the brightest star that I’ve been staring at the whole time.
“Dongsaeng *sniff* is the brightest star now?” I blinked as I looked at the star, eyes still teary.
Appa nodded and hummed my favorite lullaby for me. Soon after, I fell asleep in appa’s embrace.
Only after years that I realised, my umma had a miscarriage when that kiddie ride pony broke while trying to save me from getting smashed by the heavy pony.
I, killed my little brother. I was the one who cost my parents a son and my umma couldn’t give birth to anymore children because of her miscarriage. Everything was my fault…
And that was why I didn’t dare to enter the storeroom again, worried that the memories would come haunting me if I did….
******
I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt a hand gently wiping away the tears from my wet cheeks. I didn’t realize I was crying…
“You know, you could have rejected your umma’s offer of coming in here,” Jonghyun finished as he look into my teary eyes, with his own looking teary too.
“If you don’t want those memories come haunting back at you whenever you step into this room, then stop blaming yourself, that’s the only way,” he smiled.
My eyes widened as I finished digesting his words in my mind, how did he-ok, I forgot he reads minds. I slapped my forehead lightly as realization dawned me.
That’s when he chuckled and picked up the picnic mat from one of the transparent boxes, offering me a hand, “Time to go, don’t want the rest to be waiting too long right?”
I took his hand with a smile and made sure that I took a last look at the room and wiping my remaining tears with the back of my hand.
When we got to the kitchen, everyone was waiting and Key blurted a “What took you guys so long?” with a roll of eyes and muttering of something about sex and stuff before shrugging off and getting smacked by Minho and Taemin at the same time.
Taemin bowed to my umma saying “Mianhae ummoni, he’s too crude to be true, but please don’t mind him, he don’t mean bad,” he chuckled nervously near the end of his sentence.
“Aigoo~ kwenchana Taemin-goon, I think he got that from Brian, his uncle talks about sex very much too, even in front of me, so don’t worry,” my umma grinned before continuing “I was wondering about that myself too,” and bursting into laughter with Key and exchanging of high fives went on.
Leaving the rest of us dumbfounded from my umma’s weird antics and why would she think that way of her son?! Why would I do it with a guy!!! OMG!!!! Even my head hurts just thinking about it. Well I think that’s what you would get if your umma’s only 40 when you’re already 22.
“Alright kids! Time to hit the beach!!!” my umma announced as she swung her car keys in hand while putting on her sunglasses.
All of us saluted and chirped out a “Ye~” before Minho picked up the picnic basket, Taemin having the beach brolly, Jonghyun and I took the cooler box together while Key has the beach volleyball and frisbee with him.
With that, we left home and the stereo on the car playing Black Eyed Peas’ Pump It.
a/n: alright~ well, I just random blurt about the whirlpool thing, I was listening to Boys Like Girls’ Thunder last night while reading back on my current fic. and many memories came flooding back into my mind, they were bittersweet. There was a line of lyrics which I love all so much that I still write that in my notebooks and schedulers these days.
“I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain”
so yea, this chap was pretty much inspired by that line, hope I depicted that subtle feeling well on jjong. can you guys feel it?
I was old school enough to think of pony kiddie rides, the really old school one and the not so old school one. I mean there’s better things to hit jinki with but an old school pony kiddie ride? dammit! I’m too old school to be real…and I rode one of the really old school ones before, used to love it. I’m stupid…
oh! and Pump It is just a personal favorite at the beach and club but yea, who doesn’t like that song? Like come on!~
so hope you enjoyed this chap, I love making things sad then upbeat later on. so look forward to my next update! which I suppose would be soon as tropical storm is hitting my country! ^^
comments are loved and thanks to those silent readers who made noise to me! I love to see more of you popping up! The more the merrier~~~ ♥
p.s. I wanted to write about them at the beach straightaway but I think I was struck by a whirlpool that decided to make me write this instead. So the beach is in chap 10, which…is not done yet =p enjoy! ♥
Jinki’s POV
“Why does umma thinks that you guys are my friends?” I asked as I mindlessly dumped the fruits that we’re having for the picnic into the picnic basket, which formed a pile on the side.
Jonghyun who’s sitting on the dining table hummed a melody while swinging his legs simply replied, “Because we made her, and aren’t we your friends already?” smiling.
“True……” I stalked off to help umma and Key who were packing the sandwiches they made into brightly colored lunchboxes. They came in purple, pink, yellow, blue, green, red and-why am I talking about the lunchboxes color! I mentally gave myself a slap on the back of my head.
“Ah! Jinki-ah! Would you mind to go to the storeroom and get me the picnic mat?” umma smiled worriedly after the question.
I nodded my head and chirped a “Ye~” before turning my heels and running towards the storeroom on the end of the hallway. How can I say no? Besides, that happened so long ago.
I twisted the doorknob on the heavy wooden door that leads me to the storeroom. Opening up a place where I’ve not been to since I was a kid. I’ve never like coming to the storeroom alone, not after that bad memory of my old kiddie ride pony which snapped and cost me a broken leg and……No way would I be going in there, too afraid that I would lose part of myself in there during my next visit.
******
Flashback
“Jinki-ah, be careful alright?” umma said as she was packing my old toys into some cardboard boxes with appa’s help.
Umma said I am growing older now and that I’m a little too old to be playing them anymore, so she’s packing them for my little dongsaeng who she said is sleeping in her big round tummy now! But I always wonder why does dongsaeng sleeps for such a long time in there. Doesn’t he want to play too?
I grinned happily to myself as I rode on my pony kiddie ride, the one that I love so much that appa bought it for me so that I wouldn’t drag them to the arcade everyday just to take a ride on it, “Ye umma~~”
While appa and umma were busy packing the toys behind me, the kiddie ride’s music came to a stop but I want more, since appa and umma were busy and they won’t have time to play with me. So I decided to make pony move myself.
“Move pony move!” I balanced myself standing on the pony while shaking the pony hard enough to make it move. Well, that’s what I thought.
While I was trying my best to shake pony to live, appa said with a tinge of worry in his tone, “Yah, Jinki-ah, stop shaking the pony and don’t stand on it, both pony and you might get hurt.” As he looked up after stacking one of the boxes in the corner of the room.
“But appa!! The pony stopped and I am trying to make it move! I’ll show you what I can do! Just watch!” I giggled as I shook pony with all my might.
I only remember hearing something snapped and my umma screaming no before waking up in a hospital ward with my appa on my side.
“…Appa, where are we?” I rubbed my eyes as I asked, throat feeling scratchy and dry. I wondered how long have I slept.
Appa smiled, “We’re at the hospital, you fainted at home, we were so worried,” he sighed as he combed my hair back with his warm fingers.
“Oh…then where’s umma?” I asked as I looked around the room and failed to spot umma.
“She’s resting too, but you can’t see her yet, she’s very weak now,” appa looked at me as he rubbed my back.
“..Why can’t I? I really want to see umma,” I pouted, but appa didn’t answer my question other than sighing and shaking his head slightly.
It was a week later when I was at home waiting for appa to come home with umma as he promised before leaving me with halmoni.
When the door opened, I ran forward and hugged my umma, tearing up a little. “Umma~~ I missed you so much, where have you been? Did you go out to play dongsaeng?” I pouted before eyeing my umma’s flat tummy.
“…Umma, where did dongsaeng go?” I asked as I stroked umma’s tummy lightly, not wanting to hurt umma or dongsaeng.
But umma only cried as she held me in her tight embrace, I felt teardrops on the back of my shirt as she cried even more. Before I could press on for an answer, appa just shook his head and shushed my question away when our eyes met.
After halmoni brought umma back to her room to rest, appa brought me out to the garden and sat me on his laps while we looked up in the sky, stars shining down on us.
“Jinki-ah, you can’t ride on your pony anymore you know that?” appa started as he rocked me back and forth on his laps.
“Hmm? Why not?” I asked with my little eyes still focusing on a very bright star in the sky.
“Because you broke it, told you not to shake it so hard,” appa chuckled as he stroked my head lovingly.
“Oww…pony broke? Then dongsaeng wouldn’t be able to ride on it next time,” I pouted before brightening up and continued, “but appa would get us a new one so that dongsaeng will get to ride pony too right?” I grinned brightly as I turned to face appa’s sad face.
“About your dongsaeng…Jinki-ah, you’re not having a dongsaeng anymore, he…went far far away,” appa sighed.
“But- but why? Does he not like me because I broke pony?” I started tearing, thinking that my little brother didn’t like me so he ran away.
“No no no, your dongsaeng doesn’t dislike you for that, he just, isn’t fated to be with us…” appa looked up to the sky pointing up, “he went there, to be with the stars.”
I sniffed as I looked at where appa was pointing, the brightest star that I’ve been staring at the whole time.
“Dongsaeng *sniff* is the brightest star now?” I blinked as I looked at the star, eyes still teary.
Appa nodded and hummed my favorite lullaby for me. Soon after, I fell asleep in appa’s embrace.
Only after years that I realised, my umma had a miscarriage when that kiddie ride pony broke while trying to save me from getting smashed by the heavy pony.
I, killed my little brother. I was the one who cost my parents a son and my umma couldn’t give birth to anymore children because of her miscarriage. Everything was my fault…
And that was why I didn’t dare to enter the storeroom again, worried that the memories would come haunting me if I did….
******
I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt a hand gently wiping away the tears from my wet cheeks. I didn’t realize I was crying…
“You know, you could have rejected your umma’s offer of coming in here,” Jonghyun finished as he look into my teary eyes, with his own looking teary too.
“If you don’t want those memories come haunting back at you whenever you step into this room, then stop blaming yourself, that’s the only way,” he smiled.
My eyes widened as I finished digesting his words in my mind, how did he-ok, I forgot he reads minds. I slapped my forehead lightly as realization dawned me.
That’s when he chuckled and picked up the picnic mat from one of the transparent boxes, offering me a hand, “Time to go, don’t want the rest to be waiting too long right?”
I took his hand with a smile and made sure that I took a last look at the room and wiping my remaining tears with the back of my hand.
When we got to the kitchen, everyone was waiting and Key blurted a “What took you guys so long?” with a roll of eyes and muttering of something about sex and stuff before shrugging off and getting smacked by Minho and Taemin at the same time.
Taemin bowed to my umma saying “Mianhae ummoni, he’s too crude to be true, but please don’t mind him, he don’t mean bad,” he chuckled nervously near the end of his sentence.
“Aigoo~ kwenchana Taemin-goon, I think he got that from Brian, his uncle talks about sex very much too, even in front of me, so don’t worry,” my umma grinned before continuing “I was wondering about that myself too,” and bursting into laughter with Key and exchanging of high fives went on.
Leaving the rest of us dumbfounded from my umma’s weird antics and why would she think that way of her son?! Why would I do it with a guy!!! OMG!!!! Even my head hurts just thinking about it. Well I think that’s what you would get if your umma’s only 40 when you’re already 22.
“Alright kids! Time to hit the beach!!!” my umma announced as she swung her car keys in hand while putting on her sunglasses.
All of us saluted and chirped out a “Ye~” before Minho picked up the picnic basket, Taemin having the beach brolly, Jonghyun and I took the cooler box together while Key has the beach volleyball and frisbee with him.
With that, we left home and the stereo on the car playing Black Eyed Peas’ Pump It.
a/n: alright~ well, I just random blurt about the whirlpool thing, I was listening to Boys Like Girls’ Thunder last night while reading back on my current fic. and many memories came flooding back into my mind, they were bittersweet. There was a line of lyrics which I love all so much that I still write that in my notebooks and schedulers these days.
“I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain”
so yea, this chap was pretty much inspired by that line, hope I depicted that subtle feeling well on jjong. can you guys feel it?
I was old school enough to think of pony kiddie rides, the really old school one and the not so old school one. I mean there’s better things to hit jinki with but an old school pony kiddie ride? dammit! I’m too old school to be real…and I rode one of the really old school ones before, used to love it. I’m stupid…
oh! and Pump It is just a personal favorite at the beach and club but yea, who doesn’t like that song? Like come on!~
so hope you enjoyed this chap, I love making things sad then upbeat later on. so look forward to my next update! which I suppose would be soon as tropical storm is hitting my country! ^^
comments are loved and thanks to those silent readers who made noise to me! I love to see more of you popping up! The more the merrier~~~ ♥