How Did I Fall In Love With You? [2/2]
Title: How Did I Fall In Love With You? [2/2]
Author: meiloslyther
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Rydon
POV: 3rd, Ryan-centric
Summary: Ryan's hopelessly in love with Brendon and tries in vain to ignore it.
Word Count: 2,226 [this part]; 4,415 [total]
Disclaimer: Not my boys, never happened. Don't Google yourselves, kids.
Beta: phoenix_vixen
Author Notes: Thanks to everyone who read the first part! Hope everyone likes the second half.
First part.
The next hotel night, Ryan got stuck with Brendon again. Okay, so he kind of smooth talked Spencer into rooming with Jon, but whatever. He wasn't about to tell anyone that.
Brendon once again stole first shower, although Ryan totally let him steal it, and flopped onto the couch completely naked. Ryan rushed through his own shower before joining him, wearing a clean pair of boxers. It was just routine.
"Ryan?"
"Hm?"
When Brendon didn't say anything, Ryan turned to look at him. He was looking down at his hands fidgeting in his lap, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.
Ryan raised an eyebrow at him even though he wasn't looking. "Bren?"
The younger man's eyes darted to glance sideways at Ryan, then back to his hands, then back at Ryan. Before Ryan could even think, Brendon's hand was on the back of his neck, their lips pressed together in a fierce kiss. Just when Ryan was about to kiss back, Brendon pulled away, curling in on himself against the armrest.
Ryan sat stunned for a minute, thinking did that really just happen? He brought his fingers up to his lips, testing where Brendon's had just been and yes, it did just happen.
"Bren..."
Brendon didn't move. He had his knees tucked against his chest, his forearms resting on top of them, his face buried in his arms. Ryan carefully placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off, standing up.
"I'm going to bed," he muttered, not looking at Ryan.
"Brendon-"
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this, okay?" Brendon nearly yelled, turning on Ryan. His voice wavered a little, fear and confusion swirling in his big brown eyes. "It wasn't supposed to happen at all." He took a deep, shaky breath, willing back tears that Ryan could already see. "I'm not supposed to feel this way about a guy. I'm not supposed to feel this way about you."
As soon as Brendon's face began to crumble, his teeth biting into his lip again, Ryan had him pulled into a tight hug. Brendon tried to get away, but Ryan just held on tighter, and finally Brendon gave up, slumping against his older friend.
"I'm probably not supposed to know exactly how you feel, either," Ryan whispered against Brendon's temple, shutting his eyes when Brendon finally let out a sob and wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck.
Ryan wanted to just hold Brendon forever and ever and never let go.
***
Things between Ryan and Brendon became awkward and they avoided each other as much as they could. However, Ryan still found himself staring over at Brendon on stage, still found it hard to breathe whenever Brendon got too close, still felt that tightening in his chest, now more than ever. It was at the point where it never went away, only dulled when Brendon wasn't around, and he couldn't ignore it at all anymore.
"Brendon?" Ryan whispered into the dark of his bunk after almost three hours of not being able to fall asleep.
"Hm?" he heard from the bunk across the aisle, Brendon's.
"I can't sleep."
"Me either."
After a beat of silence, Ryan crawled out of his own bunk and into Brendon's, the younger man quietly making room for him. They lay there for a while, looking anywhere but at each other.
"We need to talk about this," Ryan finally muttered, still not looking at Brendon.
"I really don't want to."
"We can't just ignore this forever, you know. It's just going to get worse." Ryan glanced over at Brendon, who was staring at the ceiling of his bunk. Ryan placed a cautious hand over Brendon's chest, the exact place where he got that feeling in his own. Brendon sucked in a breath and his confused eyes shifted over to Ryan's.
"Ryan, what are you-?"
"It hurts, Brendon. It hurts right here," he interrupted, tapping Brendon's chest softly. "And if we ignore it, it's only going to hurt more. Don't tell me you don't feel it too."
Brendon covered Ryan's hand with his own. "I do. It's just... I'm scared, Ry."
Ryan leaned in to press their foreheads together. "I'll always be right by your side. I'll always be there to hold your hand and guide you through it, okay?" He maneuvered his hand around so that he was doing just that. "And I'll do it because I love you, Brendon Urie. I love you so, so much."
Brendon reached out with his other hand to pull Ryan closer so that they were chest to chest, hip to hip. "I love you too, Ryan. And I'm not just saying it this time. I really mean it."
Ryan smiled into Brendon's collarbone because yeah, he knew.
***
At first it was just snuggling together in one of their bunks at night, maybe a quick kiss or two. The quick kisses became more frequent, longer, deeper, more desperate. Snuggling turned into hopeless grinding into each other as they kissed, drowning their moans in each other's mouths. The grinding turned into fumbling underneath clothes, bitten shoulders and lips as they tried to keep quiet when they came in the other's hand.
It was the very next hotel night that Ryan made up his mind. He told himself that the fanfiction had influenced him in no way whatsoever. He knew Brendon would know better.
"Bren... Brendon, wait."
They were both naked for once, sprawled across Ryan's bed. As if Brendon would even be using the other one. Brendon stopped moving his hand over Ryan's cock, pulling back from the kiss to look Ryan in the face.
"Yes?" Brendon urged when Ryan simply lay there, biting his lip nervously.
"Brendon, will you..." Ryan averted his gaze from Brendon's, already hot in the face. "Willyoumakelovetome?"
Brendon smiled in a way that let Ryan know he was trying to hold back uncontrollable laughter. "Anything for you."
"Asshole."
"Hey, I just agreed to have sex with you, you don't get to complain."
"Mmm, I kind of hate your logic," Ryan muttered, pulling Brendon down for a kiss.
"Lube?" Brendon mumbled against Ryan's lips.
"I have some hand lotion in my bag," he replied when Brendon pulled away.
Brendon nodded, crawling off the bed and digging in Ryan's bag. While he was busy, Ryan shifted around a little so that his hips were propped up on a pillow and his legs were spread and bent at the knee. He totally had not stolen tips from fanfiction, definitely not.
When Brendon turned back around his breath caught a little before he was crawling back up the bed, laying the bottle of lotion and a condom he had found near the bottom of Ryan's bag on the bed.
"God, you're so beautiful like this," Brendon breathed, running his hands along Ryan's sides as he kissed up his chest to his neck, sucking right at the point where neck muscle met the v of his collarbone.
Brendon kissed him once more before picking up the lotion, squeezing some out onto his hand. He coated two fingers before gently rubbing around Ryan's entrance. Ryan mewled at the touch, so Brendon slipped one finger in, going slow and easy. Ryan clenched tightly around his finger, but quickly relaxed by sheer willpower.
"Okay?"
Ryan nodded. "More."
Brendon pressed a second finger in beside the first, easing Ryan open with the kind of concentration he normally only reserved for the music. It burned a little, but Brendon seemed mindful of that, being extremely careful. Ryan had the very sneaking suspicion that Brendon had read more fanfiction that he let on, especially when he curled his fingers right there.
"Oh, oh god."
"You like that?" Brendon inquired, pressing soft kisses to the inside of Ryan's thigh.
"Yeah... yeah, one more, come on," Ryan replied, breathless already.
Brendon slicked up a third finger before pushing it in along with the other two, causing Ryan to gasp in pain. Brendon quickly found his prostate again and Ryan relaxed into Brendon's touch, groaning quietly.
"Bren, c'mon... please."
Brendon removed his fingers, wiping them on the bed before grabbing the condom and ripping it open. He fumbled a little getting it on, but finally added a layer of lotion and positioned himself. He stretched up to give Ryan a quick kiss as he began pushing in, forcing himself past the tight ring of muscle.
"Fuck, stop." Ryan grabbed Brendon's upper arms, digging his nails in because shit, that fucking hurts.
Brendon froze, only moving to massage Ryan's hip with his thumb. "Shh, relax. Relax."
Ryan shut his watering eyes, biting his lip hard as he tried to relax, tried to concentrate on Brendon's hand at his hip. He took a deep breath and let it back out.
"Okay... okay."
Brendon began pushing in again, slowly, and Ryan could feel every last inch. He could feel Brendon's pulse beating in counterpoint to his own, could feel the heat, the stretch, the burn. When Brendon's hips finally met the back of Ryan's thighs, he let his head fall to the elder's chest, sweat already beginning to form on his forehead.
Brendon let out a weak laugh, looking up at Ryan. "I could stay like this forever, honestly."
"You know, I actually wouldn't mind it for, oh, about the next three seconds."
Brendon made a face, but slowly began pulling back out, almost all the way before pushing back in, starting up a rhythm that wasn't too harsh, but not exactly gentle either.
After about the fifth thrust - and no, of course Ryan hadn't counted, definitely not - Ryan was fumbling for something to grab on to because Brendon had just found his prostate again. Brendon chuckled a little to himself, grunting when Ryan tugged at the hair at the back of his neck.
"Found it," Brendon muttered against Ryan's neck, nipping at his jugular.
"F-fuck you, Brendon," Ryan stuttered, a little more than breathless.
"Mmm, already there, baby," Brendon replied, stretching up to tug at Ryan's earlobe with his teeth, his canine catching on the piercing that had never closed up completely.
Ryan's quiet moans filled the air, fingers curling and uncurling in Brendon's hair with each thrust. He wrapped his long, thin legs around Brendon's waist, urging the younger man on with his heels.
Without warning, Brendon reached up and grabbed both of Ryan's wrists, pinning them to the bed beside his shoulders. "Seriously, you need to stop pulling my hair," he growled, punctuating that thought with a rather violent thrust.
Ryan cried out louder than ever, his back arching and his tiny wrists straining against Brendon's firm grip. And, okay, being held down should not make him feel this good.
Brendon paused, gaping down at Ryan with a curl at the corner of his open mouth. "You like that? You like it when I hold you down, Ryan?"
Brendon thrust in hard again and Ryan simply writhed, moaning loudly like a cheap Vegas whore. God, he was so close to coming it wasn't even funny.
"C'mon, answer me, Ryan."
"God, fuck, yes! Just... fuck, faster, Bren."
Brendon complied, pressing down hard on the words inked into Ryan's slim wrists. Ryan bit his lip and he was so so so close, if only Brendon would touch him, or if he could himself, but fuck, having Brendon hold him down was just too hot.
Almost as if he had read Ryan's mind, Brendon leaned down a little to suck on his neck and his stomach grazed Ryan's cock as he thrust into his guitarist wildly. Before Ryan could even think, he was coming from just that, every muscle tensing as he let out the loudest groan he had ever legitimately made in his life.
"Oh fuck, Ross," Brendon gasped, letting go of Ryan's wrists in favor of his hips, slamming into him as the aftershocks of Ryan's orgasm tipped him over the edge.
Brendon finally came to a stop, resting his cheek on Ryan's shoulder, his hot breath ghosting over his neck. They didn't move for what seemed like hours, their desperate panting and racing pulses eventually going back to normal.
Brendon finally pushed himself up with a tired groan, sliding out and discarding the condom before collapsing next to Ryan. Giving his come covered stomach a half-hearted look of disgust, Ryan reached out to the tissue box on the nightstand, grabbing one and wiping himself off.
"Wow," was the only word Ryan could think of as he settled against Brendon's side, one arm slung across his chest.
"Yeah. Who would have thought...?" Brendon added, tugging Ryan closer and pressing a kiss to his nose.
"Our fans are smart little fuckers," Ryan muttered after a minute, eyes already closed.
"Mmm, that's why they're our fans."
Ryan made a noise of consent, blindly grabbing for the sheets and pulling them up. After a few moments, they were both sound asleep.
Okay, so maybe fanfiction wasn't so much bullshit after all. They had pretty much just written their own, fucking shamelessly in a hotel bed in the middle of a state they couldn't remember the name of. So maybe Ryan was a little bit bitchy, if he was honest with himself, and he had totally just bottomed to Brendon Urie of all people, but really? Who cared?
Life was good, and Ryan Ross couldn't have been happier.
Author: meiloslyther
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Rydon
POV: 3rd, Ryan-centric
Summary: Ryan's hopelessly in love with Brendon and tries in vain to ignore it.
Word Count: 2,226 [this part]; 4,415 [total]
Disclaimer: Not my boys, never happened. Don't Google yourselves, kids.
Beta: phoenix_vixen
Author Notes: Thanks to everyone who read the first part! Hope everyone likes the second half.
First part.
The next hotel night, Ryan got stuck with Brendon again. Okay, so he kind of smooth talked Spencer into rooming with Jon, but whatever. He wasn't about to tell anyone that.
Brendon once again stole first shower, although Ryan totally let him steal it, and flopped onto the couch completely naked. Ryan rushed through his own shower before joining him, wearing a clean pair of boxers. It was just routine.
"Ryan?"
"Hm?"
When Brendon didn't say anything, Ryan turned to look at him. He was looking down at his hands fidgeting in his lap, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.
Ryan raised an eyebrow at him even though he wasn't looking. "Bren?"
The younger man's eyes darted to glance sideways at Ryan, then back to his hands, then back at Ryan. Before Ryan could even think, Brendon's hand was on the back of his neck, their lips pressed together in a fierce kiss. Just when Ryan was about to kiss back, Brendon pulled away, curling in on himself against the armrest.
Ryan sat stunned for a minute, thinking did that really just happen? He brought his fingers up to his lips, testing where Brendon's had just been and yes, it did just happen.
"Bren..."
Brendon didn't move. He had his knees tucked against his chest, his forearms resting on top of them, his face buried in his arms. Ryan carefully placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off, standing up.
"I'm going to bed," he muttered, not looking at Ryan.
"Brendon-"
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this, okay?" Brendon nearly yelled, turning on Ryan. His voice wavered a little, fear and confusion swirling in his big brown eyes. "It wasn't supposed to happen at all." He took a deep, shaky breath, willing back tears that Ryan could already see. "I'm not supposed to feel this way about a guy. I'm not supposed to feel this way about you."
As soon as Brendon's face began to crumble, his teeth biting into his lip again, Ryan had him pulled into a tight hug. Brendon tried to get away, but Ryan just held on tighter, and finally Brendon gave up, slumping against his older friend.
"I'm probably not supposed to know exactly how you feel, either," Ryan whispered against Brendon's temple, shutting his eyes when Brendon finally let out a sob and wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck.
Ryan wanted to just hold Brendon forever and ever and never let go.
***
Things between Ryan and Brendon became awkward and they avoided each other as much as they could. However, Ryan still found himself staring over at Brendon on stage, still found it hard to breathe whenever Brendon got too close, still felt that tightening in his chest, now more than ever. It was at the point where it never went away, only dulled when Brendon wasn't around, and he couldn't ignore it at all anymore.
"Brendon?" Ryan whispered into the dark of his bunk after almost three hours of not being able to fall asleep.
"Hm?" he heard from the bunk across the aisle, Brendon's.
"I can't sleep."
"Me either."
After a beat of silence, Ryan crawled out of his own bunk and into Brendon's, the younger man quietly making room for him. They lay there for a while, looking anywhere but at each other.
"We need to talk about this," Ryan finally muttered, still not looking at Brendon.
"I really don't want to."
"We can't just ignore this forever, you know. It's just going to get worse." Ryan glanced over at Brendon, who was staring at the ceiling of his bunk. Ryan placed a cautious hand over Brendon's chest, the exact place where he got that feeling in his own. Brendon sucked in a breath and his confused eyes shifted over to Ryan's.
"Ryan, what are you-?"
"It hurts, Brendon. It hurts right here," he interrupted, tapping Brendon's chest softly. "And if we ignore it, it's only going to hurt more. Don't tell me you don't feel it too."
Brendon covered Ryan's hand with his own. "I do. It's just... I'm scared, Ry."
Ryan leaned in to press their foreheads together. "I'll always be right by your side. I'll always be there to hold your hand and guide you through it, okay?" He maneuvered his hand around so that he was doing just that. "And I'll do it because I love you, Brendon Urie. I love you so, so much."
Brendon reached out with his other hand to pull Ryan closer so that they were chest to chest, hip to hip. "I love you too, Ryan. And I'm not just saying it this time. I really mean it."
Ryan smiled into Brendon's collarbone because yeah, he knew.
***
At first it was just snuggling together in one of their bunks at night, maybe a quick kiss or two. The quick kisses became more frequent, longer, deeper, more desperate. Snuggling turned into hopeless grinding into each other as they kissed, drowning their moans in each other's mouths. The grinding turned into fumbling underneath clothes, bitten shoulders and lips as they tried to keep quiet when they came in the other's hand.
It was the very next hotel night that Ryan made up his mind. He told himself that the fanfiction had influenced him in no way whatsoever. He knew Brendon would know better.
"Bren... Brendon, wait."
They were both naked for once, sprawled across Ryan's bed. As if Brendon would even be using the other one. Brendon stopped moving his hand over Ryan's cock, pulling back from the kiss to look Ryan in the face.
"Yes?" Brendon urged when Ryan simply lay there, biting his lip nervously.
"Brendon, will you..." Ryan averted his gaze from Brendon's, already hot in the face. "Willyoumakelovetome?"
Brendon smiled in a way that let Ryan know he was trying to hold back uncontrollable laughter. "Anything for you."
"Asshole."
"Hey, I just agreed to have sex with you, you don't get to complain."
"Mmm, I kind of hate your logic," Ryan muttered, pulling Brendon down for a kiss.
"Lube?" Brendon mumbled against Ryan's lips.
"I have some hand lotion in my bag," he replied when Brendon pulled away.
Brendon nodded, crawling off the bed and digging in Ryan's bag. While he was busy, Ryan shifted around a little so that his hips were propped up on a pillow and his legs were spread and bent at the knee. He totally had not stolen tips from fanfiction, definitely not.
When Brendon turned back around his breath caught a little before he was crawling back up the bed, laying the bottle of lotion and a condom he had found near the bottom of Ryan's bag on the bed.
"God, you're so beautiful like this," Brendon breathed, running his hands along Ryan's sides as he kissed up his chest to his neck, sucking right at the point where neck muscle met the v of his collarbone.
Brendon kissed him once more before picking up the lotion, squeezing some out onto his hand. He coated two fingers before gently rubbing around Ryan's entrance. Ryan mewled at the touch, so Brendon slipped one finger in, going slow and easy. Ryan clenched tightly around his finger, but quickly relaxed by sheer willpower.
"Okay?"
Ryan nodded. "More."
Brendon pressed a second finger in beside the first, easing Ryan open with the kind of concentration he normally only reserved for the music. It burned a little, but Brendon seemed mindful of that, being extremely careful. Ryan had the very sneaking suspicion that Brendon had read more fanfiction that he let on, especially when he curled his fingers right there.
"Oh, oh god."
"You like that?" Brendon inquired, pressing soft kisses to the inside of Ryan's thigh.
"Yeah... yeah, one more, come on," Ryan replied, breathless already.
Brendon slicked up a third finger before pushing it in along with the other two, causing Ryan to gasp in pain. Brendon quickly found his prostate again and Ryan relaxed into Brendon's touch, groaning quietly.
"Bren, c'mon... please."
Brendon removed his fingers, wiping them on the bed before grabbing the condom and ripping it open. He fumbled a little getting it on, but finally added a layer of lotion and positioned himself. He stretched up to give Ryan a quick kiss as he began pushing in, forcing himself past the tight ring of muscle.
"Fuck, stop." Ryan grabbed Brendon's upper arms, digging his nails in because shit, that fucking hurts.
Brendon froze, only moving to massage Ryan's hip with his thumb. "Shh, relax. Relax."
Ryan shut his watering eyes, biting his lip hard as he tried to relax, tried to concentrate on Brendon's hand at his hip. He took a deep breath and let it back out.
"Okay... okay."
Brendon began pushing in again, slowly, and Ryan could feel every last inch. He could feel Brendon's pulse beating in counterpoint to his own, could feel the heat, the stretch, the burn. When Brendon's hips finally met the back of Ryan's thighs, he let his head fall to the elder's chest, sweat already beginning to form on his forehead.
Brendon let out a weak laugh, looking up at Ryan. "I could stay like this forever, honestly."
"You know, I actually wouldn't mind it for, oh, about the next three seconds."
Brendon made a face, but slowly began pulling back out, almost all the way before pushing back in, starting up a rhythm that wasn't too harsh, but not exactly gentle either.
After about the fifth thrust - and no, of course Ryan hadn't counted, definitely not - Ryan was fumbling for something to grab on to because Brendon had just found his prostate again. Brendon chuckled a little to himself, grunting when Ryan tugged at the hair at the back of his neck.
"Found it," Brendon muttered against Ryan's neck, nipping at his jugular.
"F-fuck you, Brendon," Ryan stuttered, a little more than breathless.
"Mmm, already there, baby," Brendon replied, stretching up to tug at Ryan's earlobe with his teeth, his canine catching on the piercing that had never closed up completely.
Ryan's quiet moans filled the air, fingers curling and uncurling in Brendon's hair with each thrust. He wrapped his long, thin legs around Brendon's waist, urging the younger man on with his heels.
Without warning, Brendon reached up and grabbed both of Ryan's wrists, pinning them to the bed beside his shoulders. "Seriously, you need to stop pulling my hair," he growled, punctuating that thought with a rather violent thrust.
Ryan cried out louder than ever, his back arching and his tiny wrists straining against Brendon's firm grip. And, okay, being held down should not make him feel this good.
Brendon paused, gaping down at Ryan with a curl at the corner of his open mouth. "You like that? You like it when I hold you down, Ryan?"
Brendon thrust in hard again and Ryan simply writhed, moaning loudly like a cheap Vegas whore. God, he was so close to coming it wasn't even funny.
"C'mon, answer me, Ryan."
"God, fuck, yes! Just... fuck, faster, Bren."
Brendon complied, pressing down hard on the words inked into Ryan's slim wrists. Ryan bit his lip and he was so so so close, if only Brendon would touch him, or if he could himself, but fuck, having Brendon hold him down was just too hot.
Almost as if he had read Ryan's mind, Brendon leaned down a little to suck on his neck and his stomach grazed Ryan's cock as he thrust into his guitarist wildly. Before Ryan could even think, he was coming from just that, every muscle tensing as he let out the loudest groan he had ever legitimately made in his life.
"Oh fuck, Ross," Brendon gasped, letting go of Ryan's wrists in favor of his hips, slamming into him as the aftershocks of Ryan's orgasm tipped him over the edge.
Brendon finally came to a stop, resting his cheek on Ryan's shoulder, his hot breath ghosting over his neck. They didn't move for what seemed like hours, their desperate panting and racing pulses eventually going back to normal.
Brendon finally pushed himself up with a tired groan, sliding out and discarding the condom before collapsing next to Ryan. Giving his come covered stomach a half-hearted look of disgust, Ryan reached out to the tissue box on the nightstand, grabbing one and wiping himself off.
"Wow," was the only word Ryan could think of as he settled against Brendon's side, one arm slung across his chest.
"Yeah. Who would have thought...?" Brendon added, tugging Ryan closer and pressing a kiss to his nose.
"Our fans are smart little fuckers," Ryan muttered after a minute, eyes already closed.
"Mmm, that's why they're our fans."
Ryan made a noise of consent, blindly grabbing for the sheets and pulling them up. After a few moments, they were both sound asleep.
Okay, so maybe fanfiction wasn't so much bullshit after all. They had pretty much just written their own, fucking shamelessly in a hotel bed in the middle of a state they couldn't remember the name of. So maybe Ryan was a little bit bitchy, if he was honest with himself, and he had totally just bottomed to Brendon Urie of all people, but really? Who cared?
Life was good, and Ryan Ross couldn't have been happier.