OOC MUSINGS
This is where little tid-bits about who Herz is and what makes him tick go. It'll probably be filled with Memes in no time. Feel free to comment, ijdk what you would want to say XD
1. What would your character kill for? What would they die for?
Under the right circumstances, Herz would kill for revenge. If somehow, some way, he was given/found the means to kill Erol for good, he would do it, just because of the hell he's put him in. And he's a waste of space with no purpose other than to hurt others, and thus has no right to fucking live.
Anyways; also under the right circumstances, Herz would die for his friends and possibly an innocent he has no relationship with. He's quite the martyr. Mostly, though, he may be too chickenshit about dying again.
2. What would they refuse to do under any circumstances? Why?
Hurt a child or a friend, on purpose. We already know he can do it on accident.
3. What do they dream about?
Finding someone who loves him for who he is. Who he's comfortable being himself around, who'll comfort him and hold him and put all his silly fears to rest. Most of all, he wants someone who is happy just to have him around. He's a hopeless romantic.
4. What’s their biggest fear?
Being as worthless and pathetic as he usually thinks he is. Believe it or not, the kid actually has a little pride left and he fears losing that and thus losing himself.
5. What single object would they be most hard pressed to part with? Why?
Herz doesn't have much from home he hasn't already separated himself from. He doesn't wear his cross, he doesn't keep his wallet on him, and he doesn't wear the clothes from home anymore. Of anything, I'd have to say he'd hate losing Sergei's, either literally (ie ZEKE EXPLOSION) or in the sense his phobias get so constricting, he can no longer work there.
6. What is their fondest memory?
Probably having Sal refer to him as his friend for the first time.
7. What is their worst memory?
The cornfield.
8. What or who was were their most significant influence? Expound.
Jesus H. Christ. Herz was raised a strict Lutheran, and while he'd love to think he's cut himself off from Christianity, he still subconsciously lives by Jesus' teachings and can be deeply moved by them. Now, one can argue that Herz is simply a good person, which isn't untrue. He would probably still be a sweetheart deep down without ever knowing who Jesus was. But, that's not the case, and 'Love thy Neighbor' is deeply embedded into him.
9. What do they believe makes a successful life?
Love and compassion. Herz can't fathom why he would want a life without love, no matter how angry and frustrated he gets with the people who hurt him. Even if he snapped and let the pain consume him, he'd still want love. And, since Herz can only see himself in others, he assumes others want love, too, and gives it.
10. What makes them laugh?
THAT'S HARD. Uhmm...Wit, when it's not making him feel self-conscious. He also really likes nostalgic references.
11. What are their religious views?
JESUS HATES ME ;A;
12. What is their greatest strength?
His heart, and his driving need to be loved. He helps others both because he feels compelled to and because he wants desperately to be liked. While this can be seen as pretty selfish, it's kept him from curling up in a ball and never, ever moving again.
13. Do they have a fatal flaw? If so, what is it?
Herz is one hell of a hypocrite and his hatred for himself is usually his undoing. He doesn't feel comfortable acknowledging the good things about him (that would be egotistical), so he doesn't see why anyone else would either. And certainly no one wants to hear about all of his baggage, so he keeps that locked in tight. Most of all, I'd say his self-imposed silence may be his worst trait, because of how much damage it does to himself and his friendships.
14. Who is the most important person in their life?
The Christian God may still be his most important person, even though he's turned his back and is desperately trying to ignore it. If anything, God's important because he's instilled most of the self-hatred Herz harbors for himself in the first damn place. Not just his gay, but also the need to humble one's self, to place others before you in all things and to generally feel guilty about existing, especially if you are doing so without God's grace.
15. If they died, who would miss them most? How would they die
Okay, idk if this is a good question anymore, considering.
I guess he'd die by disappearing boat-canon-wise. I'd assume his friends would all miss him. Sal would be up there, as would Zeke and Remy. Kage would probably shrug it off and Keats would internalize any grief. The turtles would miss him in their own ways for different reasons. I'd be interested to know exactly what each of his friends would miss about him, just in that 'watching your own funeral' kind of self-serving way.
Body and Appearance
1. Describe the character's height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy?
Herz is 6'3", and he's put on a lot of muscle recently, especially in his arms and torso. When he wasn't eating, drinking or smoking during JenJen's event, he was working out. He's probably lost a lot of body-fat.
2. How old is he?
Herz is stuck at 18, but he'd be 20 by boat standards in October
3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch?
Herz used to slouch, but he's starting to stand straighter. When he's nervous, he still curls his shoulders in, but left alone, or put at ease, he stands straighter and is more open.
4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities?
Herz is pretty healthy. He keeps on a good diet, even when he's scared out of his mind. He's taken up smoking, though, and that's never good on one's lungs. Thanks to JenJen, it's gone from something he does to something he needs, so the damage will continue to grow.
5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid?
Herz is awkward, but once he knows what to do with himself, he can actually be effecient, if not graceful. This shows when he's in Sergei's kitchen. As long as he's under control, things are fine. One pot out of place, though, and he could wind up knocking it over, or tripping on it, or any manner of ungraceful things. Herz also doesn't know how to pull punches. He has a lot of strength now he's not used to controlling, so sometimes he hits harder than he means to. When nervous, he's gittery, when he's relaxed, he's closer to fluid. OVerall, I'd say he's mostly tense, like he doesn't quite know what to do with himself, and is afraid to try should he mess up.
6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror?
I designed Herz so he would be very attractive, in modern american terms, if not for his scars. He's got a strong jaw; big, previously chocolate eyes you could fall into; and a frankly adorable smile. And then I drew slashes through the smile, blacked out the eyes, and hid it all behind a mountain of hair. Herz hates how he looks, and is terrified of mirrors. He thinks he's terrifying. Like he looks like some villian in a spy movie, and now with the black eyes, like a demon after losing a fight with a pissy angel. It'd be one thing if he were just ugly, but his scars also remind him how weak he is. How he failed to protect himself, and therefore has little to no hope of protecting anyone else. Guilt, on top of asthetics. He also hates being photographed and taped.
7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred?
Herz is a lucky-ass teenager. He has very little acne, and when he does feel some a brewin', he hits it dead with soap and water. Herz does not pick at his pimples; he really doesn't need any more scars.
8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style.
Herz's hair is naturally curly. He rarely brushes it, so it's unruly and a little on the scary side. Right now, his bangs are inching closer and closer to his mouth, while the rest of his hair slowly makes his way down to the small of his back. He hates it. It's really heavy and tiresome. Oh, and it's a dark green <3
9. What color are his eyes?
Right now? Black from corner to corner. They're kind of creepy. Originally? Dark brown.
10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features?
Aww, man, this one's a toughy. I guess, if you twisted my arm, I'd have to go with the four long gouges that go from ear to ear across his face.
11. What are his chief tension centers?
His neck, shoulders and arms. When he's nervous, he tenses, curls his shoulders in to feel smaller, ducks his head to hide his face, and clenches his hands into fists.
12. What is the character's wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit?
Herz likes overalls. Not all of his pants are also overalls, but, he has like, four pair. And the man doesn't own that many articles of clothing. Generally, he wears plain-color t-shirts with an undershirt, jeans, and his steel-toed work boots. BECAUSE. He likes base-ball t's, but he doesn't wear them often. They cling a little too close to his chest, and then he gets all worried he's showing off or something, and changes. Mostly he wears blues (his favorite color) and blacks.
13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them?
Herz purposefully wears baggy t-shirts to feel less self-conscious about his choice to work-out, like, religiously. It's not that he doesn't like his body, he just doesn't want to call attention to it. He doesn't want it taken as a threat, or an invitation for a fight.
14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences?
Herz has started pulling his hair back when he works at Sergei's. BECAUSE IT'S SANITARY THAT WAY. Or at least more so. He should really be wearing a hair-net, but no one's called him on it, yet. Besides, YOU don't wear a hairnet in your kitchen at home, do you? But anywho, he pretty much dresses the same everywhere. 'Cept his room. Usually he strips his t-shirt off and dicks around in his tank-top undershirt.
15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando?
Boxers, plz 8>
Speech
1. What does this character's voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?
Herz has a deep voice that matches his size, not his disposition. I base his voice off of a young Jeff Bridges (more specifically, his role as Lir in the Last Unicorn).
2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate?
Herz has a strong stutter. It gets worse the more nervous he becomes, and lessens the more comfortable he is made. He almost always hesitates before he speaks, though often that makes him even more nervous because he begins worrying over what he's saying. It's something of a self-fullfilling prophecy.
3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics?
He says 'warsh' instead of 'wash'. Western Kansas, duders. He also slips in passive phrases like 'you know' and 'right' to make his statements less direct.
4. What language/s does he speak, and with how much fluency?
He only speaks English with anything near fluency. He knows a few german words and could probably learn to read german if he really buckled down and tried. Speaking languages are kinda...yeah. Not going to happen.
5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations?
Not really? I guess when he's more relaxed, he chops his words more, but that's it.
6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words?
When Herz talks without thinking, he rambles, meanders around his point without making it. He doesn't do this often, because in the past, it really pissed people off. Now he overthinks his word choice and phrasing and inflection, and it's just as obnoxious.
7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?
Normally, he's fairly inarticulate. Not terribly so, but he still kinda sucks at expressing himself. However, if given the chance to write out what he wishes to say, he could prove he can most definitely do eloquent. Also, when he reads, his stutter is pretty much nonexistant.
Mental and Emotional
1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart?
Herz is book-smart, but he's read mostly fiction since forever, so his common-sense and ideas of how the world works are very skewed. His school probably taught Creationism, now that I think about it. But whatevs, the point is he's a smart boy, he's just now learning how to communicate with other people, keep friends, do relationships, so on and so forth.
2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate?
Herz is too nervous to think on his feet. When shit hits the fan, he panics, he can't think clearly and usually jumps to the first solid thought that manages to break through. That thought is, typically, 'run'.
1. What would your character kill for? What would they die for?
Under the right circumstances, Herz would kill for revenge. If somehow, some way, he was given/found the means to kill Erol for good, he would do it, just because of the hell he's put him in. And he's a waste of space with no purpose other than to hurt others, and thus has no right to fucking live.
Anyways; also under the right circumstances, Herz would die for his friends and possibly an innocent he has no relationship with. He's quite the martyr. Mostly, though, he may be too chickenshit about dying again.
2. What would they refuse to do under any circumstances? Why?
Hurt a child or a friend, on purpose. We already know he can do it on accident.
3. What do they dream about?
Finding someone who loves him for who he is. Who he's comfortable being himself around, who'll comfort him and hold him and put all his silly fears to rest. Most of all, he wants someone who is happy just to have him around. He's a hopeless romantic.
4. What’s their biggest fear?
Being as worthless and pathetic as he usually thinks he is. Believe it or not, the kid actually has a little pride left and he fears losing that and thus losing himself.
5. What single object would they be most hard pressed to part with? Why?
Herz doesn't have much from home he hasn't already separated himself from. He doesn't wear his cross, he doesn't keep his wallet on him, and he doesn't wear the clothes from home anymore. Of anything, I'd have to say he'd hate losing Sergei's, either literally (ie ZEKE EXPLOSION) or in the sense his phobias get so constricting, he can no longer work there.
6. What is their fondest memory?
Probably having Sal refer to him as his friend for the first time.
7. What is their worst memory?
The cornfield.
8. What or who was were their most significant influence? Expound.
Jesus H. Christ. Herz was raised a strict Lutheran, and while he'd love to think he's cut himself off from Christianity, he still subconsciously lives by Jesus' teachings and can be deeply moved by them. Now, one can argue that Herz is simply a good person, which isn't untrue. He would probably still be a sweetheart deep down without ever knowing who Jesus was. But, that's not the case, and 'Love thy Neighbor' is deeply embedded into him.
9. What do they believe makes a successful life?
Love and compassion. Herz can't fathom why he would want a life without love, no matter how angry and frustrated he gets with the people who hurt him. Even if he snapped and let the pain consume him, he'd still want love. And, since Herz can only see himself in others, he assumes others want love, too, and gives it.
10. What makes them laugh?
THAT'S HARD. Uhmm...Wit, when it's not making him feel self-conscious. He also really likes nostalgic references.
11. What are their religious views?
JESUS HATES ME ;A;
12. What is their greatest strength?
His heart, and his driving need to be loved. He helps others both because he feels compelled to and because he wants desperately to be liked. While this can be seen as pretty selfish, it's kept him from curling up in a ball and never, ever moving again.
13. Do they have a fatal flaw? If so, what is it?
Herz is one hell of a hypocrite and his hatred for himself is usually his undoing. He doesn't feel comfortable acknowledging the good things about him (that would be egotistical), so he doesn't see why anyone else would either. And certainly no one wants to hear about all of his baggage, so he keeps that locked in tight. Most of all, I'd say his self-imposed silence may be his worst trait, because of how much damage it does to himself and his friendships.
14. Who is the most important person in their life?
The Christian God may still be his most important person, even though he's turned his back and is desperately trying to ignore it. If anything, God's important because he's instilled most of the self-hatred Herz harbors for himself in the first damn place. Not just his gay, but also the need to humble one's self, to place others before you in all things and to generally feel guilty about existing, especially if you are doing so without God's grace.
15. If they died, who would miss them most? How would they die
Okay, idk if this is a good question anymore, considering.
I guess he'd die by disappearing boat-canon-wise. I'd assume his friends would all miss him. Sal would be up there, as would Zeke and Remy. Kage would probably shrug it off and Keats would internalize any grief. The turtles would miss him in their own ways for different reasons. I'd be interested to know exactly what each of his friends would miss about him, just in that 'watching your own funeral' kind of self-serving way.
Body and Appearance
1. Describe the character's height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy?
Herz is 6'3", and he's put on a lot of muscle recently, especially in his arms and torso. When he wasn't eating, drinking or smoking during JenJen's event, he was working out. He's probably lost a lot of body-fat.
2. How old is he?
Herz is stuck at 18, but he'd be 20 by boat standards in October
3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch?
Herz used to slouch, but he's starting to stand straighter. When he's nervous, he still curls his shoulders in, but left alone, or put at ease, he stands straighter and is more open.
4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities?
Herz is pretty healthy. He keeps on a good diet, even when he's scared out of his mind. He's taken up smoking, though, and that's never good on one's lungs. Thanks to JenJen, it's gone from something he does to something he needs, so the damage will continue to grow.
5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid?
Herz is awkward, but once he knows what to do with himself, he can actually be effecient, if not graceful. This shows when he's in Sergei's kitchen. As long as he's under control, things are fine. One pot out of place, though, and he could wind up knocking it over, or tripping on it, or any manner of ungraceful things. Herz also doesn't know how to pull punches. He has a lot of strength now he's not used to controlling, so sometimes he hits harder than he means to. When nervous, he's gittery, when he's relaxed, he's closer to fluid. OVerall, I'd say he's mostly tense, like he doesn't quite know what to do with himself, and is afraid to try should he mess up.
6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror?
I designed Herz so he would be very attractive, in modern american terms, if not for his scars. He's got a strong jaw; big, previously chocolate eyes you could fall into; and a frankly adorable smile. And then I drew slashes through the smile, blacked out the eyes, and hid it all behind a mountain of hair. Herz hates how he looks, and is terrified of mirrors. He thinks he's terrifying. Like he looks like some villian in a spy movie, and now with the black eyes, like a demon after losing a fight with a pissy angel. It'd be one thing if he were just ugly, but his scars also remind him how weak he is. How he failed to protect himself, and therefore has little to no hope of protecting anyone else. Guilt, on top of asthetics. He also hates being photographed and taped.
7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred?
Herz is a lucky-ass teenager. He has very little acne, and when he does feel some a brewin', he hits it dead with soap and water. Herz does not pick at his pimples; he really doesn't need any more scars.
8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style.
Herz's hair is naturally curly. He rarely brushes it, so it's unruly and a little on the scary side. Right now, his bangs are inching closer and closer to his mouth, while the rest of his hair slowly makes his way down to the small of his back. He hates it. It's really heavy and tiresome. Oh, and it's a dark green <3
9. What color are his eyes?
Right now? Black from corner to corner. They're kind of creepy. Originally? Dark brown.
10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features?
Aww, man, this one's a toughy. I guess, if you twisted my arm, I'd have to go with the four long gouges that go from ear to ear across his face.
11. What are his chief tension centers?
His neck, shoulders and arms. When he's nervous, he tenses, curls his shoulders in to feel smaller, ducks his head to hide his face, and clenches his hands into fists.
12. What is the character's wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit?
Herz likes overalls. Not all of his pants are also overalls, but, he has like, four pair. And the man doesn't own that many articles of clothing. Generally, he wears plain-color t-shirts with an undershirt, jeans, and his steel-toed work boots. BECAUSE. He likes base-ball t's, but he doesn't wear them often. They cling a little too close to his chest, and then he gets all worried he's showing off or something, and changes. Mostly he wears blues (his favorite color) and blacks.
13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them?
Herz purposefully wears baggy t-shirts to feel less self-conscious about his choice to work-out, like, religiously. It's not that he doesn't like his body, he just doesn't want to call attention to it. He doesn't want it taken as a threat, or an invitation for a fight.
14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences?
Herz has started pulling his hair back when he works at Sergei's. BECAUSE IT'S SANITARY THAT WAY. Or at least more so. He should really be wearing a hair-net, but no one's called him on it, yet. Besides, YOU don't wear a hairnet in your kitchen at home, do you? But anywho, he pretty much dresses the same everywhere. 'Cept his room. Usually he strips his t-shirt off and dicks around in his tank-top undershirt.
15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando?
Boxers, plz 8>
Speech
1. What does this character's voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?
Herz has a deep voice that matches his size, not his disposition. I base his voice off of a young Jeff Bridges (more specifically, his role as Lir in the Last Unicorn).
2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate?
Herz has a strong stutter. It gets worse the more nervous he becomes, and lessens the more comfortable he is made. He almost always hesitates before he speaks, though often that makes him even more nervous because he begins worrying over what he's saying. It's something of a self-fullfilling prophecy.
3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics?
He says 'warsh' instead of 'wash'. Western Kansas, duders. He also slips in passive phrases like 'you know' and 'right' to make his statements less direct.
4. What language/s does he speak, and with how much fluency?
He only speaks English with anything near fluency. He knows a few german words and could probably learn to read german if he really buckled down and tried. Speaking languages are kinda...yeah. Not going to happen.
5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations?
Not really? I guess when he's more relaxed, he chops his words more, but that's it.
6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words?
When Herz talks without thinking, he rambles, meanders around his point without making it. He doesn't do this often, because in the past, it really pissed people off. Now he overthinks his word choice and phrasing and inflection, and it's just as obnoxious.
7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?
Normally, he's fairly inarticulate. Not terribly so, but he still kinda sucks at expressing himself. However, if given the chance to write out what he wishes to say, he could prove he can most definitely do eloquent. Also, when he reads, his stutter is pretty much nonexistant.
Mental and Emotional
1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart?
Herz is book-smart, but he's read mostly fiction since forever, so his common-sense and ideas of how the world works are very skewed. His school probably taught Creationism, now that I think about it. But whatevs, the point is he's a smart boy, he's just now learning how to communicate with other people, keep friends, do relationships, so on and so forth.
2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate?
Herz is too nervous to think on his feet. When shit hits the fan, he panics, he can't think clearly and usually jumps to the first solid thought that manages to break through. That thought is, typically, 'run'.