fuck me batman!
i guess i just cannot be left alone. it seems that the moment everyone leaves my side, i fall down.
today i was suposed to see him. then i guess there was too much rain. i cant help but be suspicious. thats just me. hes wonderful, i know that. just, theres this part of me in the back of my head thats saying that hes with someone else.
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So save me I'm waiting
I'm needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now
When you are flying around and around the world
And I'm lying alonely
I know there's something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness now, now
When you are flying around and around the world
And I'm lying alonely
I know there's something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
Nobody knows it, nobody knows it, nobody knows it
But you've got a secret
Nobody knows it, nobody knows it, nobody knows it
But you've got a secret
Nobody knows it, nobody knows it, nobody knows it
But you've got a secret
Nobody knows it, nobody knows it, nobody knows it
But you've got a secret
he gave me a CD and that songs on it. it was entitled 'when i realized how amazing this all was.' i nearly melted.
but here i am, sitting, alone, feeling alone and like nothing once again. feels like i either cant stand some people or people cant stand me. there seems to be no people who actualy want to hang out with me, for me. its like julia only wants me around to give her rides, to have someone to get everything off her chest, get help making up, or because shes bored. i do have jake. jake is great and makes me feel like im helping and being helped. he has my back and i have his.
brandon called.
i guess i havent had an actual update on me in a long time
edit: i just called emily's cell phone to see if she had dropped dan off, and nope. dan picks up and their driving. they couldnt drive anymore cus it was raining too bad earlier... thanx guys. not like i couldnt have gone out... i hate people
andrew makes me feel like shit too. i read his journal entry about me, and i feel like shit. like a prick.
fuck everyone, fuck this noise!