much of this is feminist mocking.
aiiaiiaiiiaiiaiiaiiaaiaiaiiaaiaiaiaiaiaiaiiiiiiii.
wow.
i bought a girlfriend today because it had an eyeliner in it.
nice eyeliner too.
i was passing the meat section in the store and i noticed that it had a sale on the "chicken necks".
i stood there for about thirty seconds wondering when they started selling chicken necks, and then i looked at what else they had in their mini slaughter house and noticed that not only did they have chicken breasts, thighs, necks, and what not. they also had "NICE chicken legs".
that's right, gasp and gaw at that GOOD. nice chicken legs.
it isn't even a flavour.
i mean sheesh, what is this world coming to?
can we not just have chicken legs? i mean, i know that nice chicken legs probably give you the illusion of a beautiful succulent piece of chicken .. leg, but think about it. it's exactly the same to a normal chicken leg.
come on! in our human life (not the chicken life) "nice legs" are THIN legs.
as IF it's nicer to eat a small thin brittle piece of chicken rather than a fat greasy piece. think about it, let me amaze and dazzle you.
nice chicken legs (if there is a difference at all between nice legs and legs in the fucking chicken world) would have to be thin for them to be nice! just like in the human world. man, you can't deny it. you see a chick with legs that aren't as skinny as some fucking model and you think " OBESE", you see a chicken with legs that aren't as skinny as a uhhh.. model chickens and you think "OBESE" again!
it was after i had had a crazy, agressive line of thought to do with human and chickens legs that i picked up the "free eyeliner" magazine (girlfriend) and read in the big bold white letters "LOVE YOUR BODY".
wow - i thought - girlfriend dont really think about the whole chicken legs, human legs, fat or skinny kinda crap. they just think you should love your body, no matter what eating disorder you have.
after i read this article and figured that people really dont care about their looks, and less about others looks, and that girlfriend had the "right idea", i turned the page. literally ONE page.
found a little box with the headline "EASY KJ BURNERS".
yahuh.
i thought "well... i'll just read this friendly little box"
and found out that
30 minutes of....
-Watching TV
-Kissing
-Making the bed
-Ironing
-Washing the dishes
-Brushing your teeth
-Surfing
-Playing Frisbee
-Grocery Shopping
-Walking the dog
-Shaking your booty
burns approx...
113 kj-
113 kj-
225 kj-
238 kj-
242 kj-
268 kj-
326 kj-
334 kj-
376 kj-
460 kj-
531 kj
isn't that interesting?
turns out that i can loose THE SAME AMOUNT OF WEIGHT kissing someone for a whole 30 minutes, that i can sitting on my fat ass watching TV for 30 minutes!
and you know what? i think i might just try brushing my teeth for 30 minutes! i've got nothing better to do! i mean, come on.
and im such a fucking surfZ babbiz!!!1 omgz! i fink i mite try 2 go srfin 4 30minutes, im lyk a proz!!1
but most of all. im going to get up right now, and go start "shaking my booty" good.
in con-fucking-clusion,
Burn Girlfriend Magazines. Eat Nice Chicken Legs. Kill vegetarians. Because you didn't read the magazine when you had the chance, and then you ate the NICE chicken legs, you'll become fat. It will be at this time that you will have to buy and read a Girlfriend magazine to learn that you have to brush your teeth to loose weight. Have a crazy rambling angry line of thought. Burn Girlfriend Magazines. Eat Nice Chicken Legs. Kill vegetarians. Because you didn't read the magazine......
sorry guys, i'd rather shake it up then ramble on.
love the booty shaker - kittie.
wow.
i bought a girlfriend today because it had an eyeliner in it.
nice eyeliner too.
i was passing the meat section in the store and i noticed that it had a sale on the "chicken necks".
i stood there for about thirty seconds wondering when they started selling chicken necks, and then i looked at what else they had in their mini slaughter house and noticed that not only did they have chicken breasts, thighs, necks, and what not. they also had "NICE chicken legs".
that's right, gasp and gaw at that GOOD. nice chicken legs.
it isn't even a flavour.
i mean sheesh, what is this world coming to?
can we not just have chicken legs? i mean, i know that nice chicken legs probably give you the illusion of a beautiful succulent piece of chicken .. leg, but think about it. it's exactly the same to a normal chicken leg.
come on! in our human life (not the chicken life) "nice legs" are THIN legs.
as IF it's nicer to eat a small thin brittle piece of chicken rather than a fat greasy piece. think about it, let me amaze and dazzle you.
nice chicken legs (if there is a difference at all between nice legs and legs in the fucking chicken world) would have to be thin for them to be nice! just like in the human world. man, you can't deny it. you see a chick with legs that aren't as skinny as some fucking model and you think " OBESE", you see a chicken with legs that aren't as skinny as a uhhh.. model chickens and you think "OBESE" again!
it was after i had had a crazy, agressive line of thought to do with human and chickens legs that i picked up the "free eyeliner" magazine (girlfriend) and read in the big bold white letters "LOVE YOUR BODY".
wow - i thought - girlfriend dont really think about the whole chicken legs, human legs, fat or skinny kinda crap. they just think you should love your body, no matter what eating disorder you have.
after i read this article and figured that people really dont care about their looks, and less about others looks, and that girlfriend had the "right idea", i turned the page. literally ONE page.
found a little box with the headline "EASY KJ BURNERS".
yahuh.
i thought "well... i'll just read this friendly little box"
and found out that
30 minutes of....
-Watching TV
-Kissing
-Making the bed
-Ironing
-Washing the dishes
-Brushing your teeth
-Surfing
-Playing Frisbee
-Grocery Shopping
-Walking the dog
-Shaking your booty
burns approx...
113 kj-
113 kj-
225 kj-
238 kj-
242 kj-
268 kj-
326 kj-
334 kj-
376 kj-
460 kj-
531 kj
isn't that interesting?
turns out that i can loose THE SAME AMOUNT OF WEIGHT kissing someone for a whole 30 minutes, that i can sitting on my fat ass watching TV for 30 minutes!
and you know what? i think i might just try brushing my teeth for 30 minutes! i've got nothing better to do! i mean, come on.
and im such a fucking surfZ babbiz!!!1 omgz! i fink i mite try 2 go srfin 4 30minutes, im lyk a proz!!1
but most of all. im going to get up right now, and go start "shaking my booty" good.
in con-fucking-clusion,
Burn Girlfriend Magazines. Eat Nice Chicken Legs. Kill vegetarians. Because you didn't read the magazine when you had the chance, and then you ate the NICE chicken legs, you'll become fat. It will be at this time that you will have to buy and read a Girlfriend magazine to learn that you have to brush your teeth to loose weight. Have a crazy rambling angry line of thought. Burn Girlfriend Magazines. Eat Nice Chicken Legs. Kill vegetarians. Because you didn't read the magazine......
sorry guys, i'd rather shake it up then ramble on.
love the booty shaker - kittie.