January Recap
I'll go for the brief version because its after 2am and I'm too tired/lazy to rant about things.
January is over, and while it wasn't horrid it wasn't great either. There were some highs and lows, but it ended on a High point so I'm okay with that.
Extreme lows...
* Horrible horrible horrible interview at AT&T.. the only place to actually give me an interview with any of the apps I've put out so far :( I was doing alright until the lady noticed that I'd put yes on teh app where it asks if you've ever been terminated. I was stupid, I was honest about it, it screwed me. maybe its time to learn to lie, or at least omit the things that will screw me? *shakes fist* Damn you KFC. But I figured in today's economy anyone who claims they've never been fired from a job is probably lying, y'know? So I was honest, and she gave me this look of absolute disdain... I was already on thin ice with her tone of voice when she commented on my sketchy work history for the last few years, but still could've had a chance until the termination question. So I fucked myself, and it didn't feel good at all. Lesson learned.
* being informed by some random cammie who was on under a nick I didn't recognize and /whois'd as being a mibbit... that I was spreading rumors about a friend. Some simply ridiculous This girl is going to leave her bf and move to be with him when the actual statement I made was He said they were talking about a long distance open relationship How the fuck it gets from what I said to what I was accused of, I have no clue. But the one that REALLY kicks the screaming red WTF button? I was accused of spreading a rumor that that this guy had raped a girl, or at least taken advantage of her, at icc. No way in hell did I ever say anything that could in any adjacent reality be twisted into that... No fucking way. What did I say? Something as mild as Yeah, apparently they hooked up. If someone can explain to me any valid line of logic that goes from consensual consex to rape, I'll give the prize of your choice. Jesus fucking christ, I mean really? I've stopped going into Cam-ooc unless I'm looking for someone specific, and don't go into mage-ooc at all, or the ic channels lately. Even though I made a point of fixing my pc's to get them out of time freeze, I still haven't been to the local Tulsa games yet.. apathy hit me last time and I just couldn't be bothered to get ready in time to get a ride. This mibbit person wouldn't even tell me who they were, or where they heard the rumors so that I could try tracing them down to talk to whoever claimed I started them. I finally had a chance tonight to inform the guy There's this rumor that I started this horrible rumor about you just so that he could know ahead of time in case it came back to him (which is what inspired this rant, because I'd been keeping it to myself)... and no, I don't have the log of the conversation because I'm an idiot and killed the thinkpad by trying to reinstall XP on it *sigh*
* Which reminds me. My dad sent me his copy of XP, that was happiness because I was finally going to get to remove windows 7 from the HP and put XP back on it... 7 wouldn't allow me to do this, so I said Well hell. and because the ThinkPad had both xp and xp pro installed, I figured I could just reinstall XP and free up the space that was being wasted running 2 os's on a 14 gig hard drive. Instaed, I somehow managed to kill it. It asked me to format out the 2 partitions that the os's were on, and now the disk won't do the actual instalation. Maybe its the disk and if I can find yet another copy it coudl be fixable, but until then I'm on the unstable HP. Fun.
* Found out that a friend considered me not worth helping and when I asked him why... well he hasn't spoken to me since. So I guess... I'll just have to accept that as my answer and leave him to his life. No point in pursuing him or other friends who have walked away, I've reached my fill on drama and I'm done. Maybe they'll come back some day, but for now I'm just goign to let it go and hope maybe someday there'll be an opportunity to apologize for things that happened to cause them to go. I have no doubt, because of hte person I've been and am trying not to be anymore, that most of these things are my own idiotic fault.. but I'm not goign to chase after them to make amends just yet. Let some time pass so that its possible to discuss things calmly, see what happens then.. and accept that sometimes it just ends and people need to move on.
A number of other things, all very minor in comparison to the big things... But even with those big things nothing huge enough to make 2010 fail yet. I'm glad January is past, and hoping February will bring improvements... Still job hunting. A friend fixed my resume to look more manageable, and the AT&T interview taught me a lesson about small lies. So I'm still somewhat hopeful. There's this big brass ring of when you have a job we can move up to a 2 bedroom apartment stability and I want that so bad it hurts. The interview fell on the same day as getting sick and my period unexpectedly starting (yay surprise emo-ness and cramps!) so it broke me for a few hours, but an online friend helped cheer me up.. as did April in her rarely flagging optimism *so much love* So I'm back up again, and have a list of new places to try, and a couple of old places to harass.. and a stack of apps for places that said they weren't hiring at the time but might be in the near future. So. Forward! :)
Also, January ended on a fantastic note with us getting out of the house and going out to a party, meeting lots of new people and learning fascinating new things (Yes, I'm going to leave that very vague except for a hint "bondage for jesus" and let you guess at the rest *grin*) Making new friends kicks away that sense of being isolated that comes from being broke and without transport to go explore/do things on my own... so life gets better :) Plus, the party really was THAT amazingly fun that it alone redeems the entire month into being not bad :)
So Goodbye January and lets hope February is better. I even have a Date for Valentines (well, its with April and Colin, but we get to dress up and let him be in the middle so he can look pimp with 2 ladies ;)
January is over, and while it wasn't horrid it wasn't great either. There were some highs and lows, but it ended on a High point so I'm okay with that.
Extreme lows...
* Horrible horrible horrible interview at AT&T.. the only place to actually give me an interview with any of the apps I've put out so far :( I was doing alright until the lady noticed that I'd put yes on teh app where it asks if you've ever been terminated. I was stupid, I was honest about it, it screwed me. maybe its time to learn to lie, or at least omit the things that will screw me? *shakes fist* Damn you KFC. But I figured in today's economy anyone who claims they've never been fired from a job is probably lying, y'know? So I was honest, and she gave me this look of absolute disdain... I was already on thin ice with her tone of voice when she commented on my sketchy work history for the last few years, but still could've had a chance until the termination question. So I fucked myself, and it didn't feel good at all. Lesson learned.
* being informed by some random cammie who was on under a nick I didn't recognize and /whois'd as being a mibbit... that I was spreading rumors about a friend. Some simply ridiculous This girl is going to leave her bf and move to be with him when the actual statement I made was He said they were talking about a long distance open relationship How the fuck it gets from what I said to what I was accused of, I have no clue. But the one that REALLY kicks the screaming red WTF button? I was accused of spreading a rumor that that this guy had raped a girl, or at least taken advantage of her, at icc. No way in hell did I ever say anything that could in any adjacent reality be twisted into that... No fucking way. What did I say? Something as mild as Yeah, apparently they hooked up. If someone can explain to me any valid line of logic that goes from consensual consex to rape, I'll give the prize of your choice. Jesus fucking christ, I mean really? I've stopped going into Cam-ooc unless I'm looking for someone specific, and don't go into mage-ooc at all, or the ic channels lately. Even though I made a point of fixing my pc's to get them out of time freeze, I still haven't been to the local Tulsa games yet.. apathy hit me last time and I just couldn't be bothered to get ready in time to get a ride. This mibbit person wouldn't even tell me who they were, or where they heard the rumors so that I could try tracing them down to talk to whoever claimed I started them. I finally had a chance tonight to inform the guy There's this rumor that I started this horrible rumor about you just so that he could know ahead of time in case it came back to him (which is what inspired this rant, because I'd been keeping it to myself)... and no, I don't have the log of the conversation because I'm an idiot and killed the thinkpad by trying to reinstall XP on it *sigh*
* Which reminds me. My dad sent me his copy of XP, that was happiness because I was finally going to get to remove windows 7 from the HP and put XP back on it... 7 wouldn't allow me to do this, so I said Well hell. and because the ThinkPad had both xp and xp pro installed, I figured I could just reinstall XP and free up the space that was being wasted running 2 os's on a 14 gig hard drive. Instaed, I somehow managed to kill it. It asked me to format out the 2 partitions that the os's were on, and now the disk won't do the actual instalation. Maybe its the disk and if I can find yet another copy it coudl be fixable, but until then I'm on the unstable HP. Fun.
* Found out that a friend considered me not worth helping and when I asked him why... well he hasn't spoken to me since. So I guess... I'll just have to accept that as my answer and leave him to his life. No point in pursuing him or other friends who have walked away, I've reached my fill on drama and I'm done. Maybe they'll come back some day, but for now I'm just goign to let it go and hope maybe someday there'll be an opportunity to apologize for things that happened to cause them to go. I have no doubt, because of hte person I've been and am trying not to be anymore, that most of these things are my own idiotic fault.. but I'm not goign to chase after them to make amends just yet. Let some time pass so that its possible to discuss things calmly, see what happens then.. and accept that sometimes it just ends and people need to move on.
A number of other things, all very minor in comparison to the big things... But even with those big things nothing huge enough to make 2010 fail yet. I'm glad January is past, and hoping February will bring improvements... Still job hunting. A friend fixed my resume to look more manageable, and the AT&T interview taught me a lesson about small lies. So I'm still somewhat hopeful. There's this big brass ring of when you have a job we can move up to a 2 bedroom apartment stability and I want that so bad it hurts. The interview fell on the same day as getting sick and my period unexpectedly starting (yay surprise emo-ness and cramps!) so it broke me for a few hours, but an online friend helped cheer me up.. as did April in her rarely flagging optimism *so much love* So I'm back up again, and have a list of new places to try, and a couple of old places to harass.. and a stack of apps for places that said they weren't hiring at the time but might be in the near future. So. Forward! :)
Also, January ended on a fantastic note with us getting out of the house and going out to a party, meeting lots of new people and learning fascinating new things (Yes, I'm going to leave that very vague except for a hint "bondage for jesus" and let you guess at the rest *grin*) Making new friends kicks away that sense of being isolated that comes from being broke and without transport to go explore/do things on my own... so life gets better :) Plus, the party really was THAT amazingly fun that it alone redeems the entire month into being not bad :)
So Goodbye January and lets hope February is better. I even have a Date for Valentines (well, its with April and Colin, but we get to dress up and let him be in the middle so he can look pimp with 2 ladies ;)