the copmplete tipsy truth

[melainethayet]

I think I've just been pretending these last two motnths. I'm not happy. I never fucking will be. EVER. i'm never going to be able to scompletely trust. and it's not just his fault. it's all my f ault. there is no one for me. i hate it. i hate being realitisic. i hate is so mcuh. why cant i be like all those ahppy hippies that just believe. i want

Comments

[deliriousfever]

Trust is difficult for me too, le sigh.
*hugs* I hope you'll be happy.

[eplossl]

Now, now... I know where you are. I've been there before. Had you told me two years ago that within two years I would meet the woman of my dreams and fall in love with her, I would have told you that you were nuts. I have believed for a long time that I am never going to get married, and would also never have a real serious girlfriend. I am sure you know this already, but I am in love with a beautiful woman. We are holding a wedding ceremony in June. We are currently buying a house together

[melainethayet]

I'm not even looking for happiness anymore. I've given up on the idea that I can be happy. I realise the possiblility that I could have another serious relationship again, hell, I could do it another few times, but I honestly believe that the idea of finding someone to make me happy and making myself happy is just too optimistic. That's why I try not to think about it, cause if I do then I'll just get beaten down again.
This way, the realistic way, keeps me from being hurt more than I already am. I just hate how it's so goddamn hard.

Thank you for the comment though. I do read through your entries, and I'm truly glad for you. :) Just because it can't happen for me doesn't mean I dont believe it wont happen to anyone else.

[crashingwaves38]

You know that I, and the Ajah, love you.

*bunches of tight snuggles*