hey there....whats up???? so im just waitin to leave for class...im kinda proud of myself bc i have been going to evey class so far :) even if im tired or i dont feel good thaat mroning, i still get my ass up and leave. im telling you its the little things that make me happy.   so work has been gooing ok, i think im doing pretty well.....i got my ( Read more... )

ok so, the past couple days have been alright. i dont really have much to bitch about. well no thats a lie. i just thought of something...ive been having terrible luck with this bad weather the past 4 days...the first day, i was getting out of my car around 9am to get some coffee at  wawa, and i slipped and almost broke my head, all bc there was ( Read more... )

fuck yo...all i wanna no is why does evey guy have a fuckin girlfriend? if they dont have a girl friend, im not even attracted to me, or they r some type of fuckin freak or loser that im not intrested in....or if they dont have a girlfriend, then they are to young...i sometimes wonder if im really gonna find someone again...i tend to compare, and i ( Read more... )

Ok so maybe this whole sober thing is getting alot harder then i portray it to be.  I am happy and content at times during the day.  but i soon find myself drifting off into my mind and thinking about the past and thinking of relationships with a certain person.Derreck.  I dont no why i always think about him. i havent seen him in like 19months.  ( Read more... )

 I remember growing up in philly, in a 2 bedroom house with my family, and going to school at St.chris from 1st grade all the way to 8th...i made a good groupe of friends, we chilled eveyday and all day, from the time the sun came up till the middle of the night, just running around getting into trouble, causing havok in our city.  i reamber walkin ( Read more... )

OK, so ive been thinking alot latley, like so what if i went off track in life, so what if idont have friends , so whaat if i sit at home basically eveynight, i accept it today bc you no, we arent getting any younger, olny older, and i will be very calm and content with what im doing, i mean yea, it would be nice going out with a bunch of ppl, and ( Read more... )

well let me tell you about myslef, i should say, the new melanie,  i went away to a rehab for 17months far away, and now im home for good, im alittle scared, like i made so many good friends up there and got use to living indepented and all those things that come along with being sober.  now i feel like a little girl again since im at home, but i ( Read more... )

i got to see derreck today, i went up to cfcf and gave him a visit.  it was only an hour, but hell it was better then nothing.   im such a dork, as soon as i saw him i started to cry, lol.  o well,  we had so much to say to eachother that the hr went by so fast, it was crazy.   i told him ill come up on wed. and sneak him in some shit, bc hes ( Read more... )

today was a pretty upsetting day for me.  i dont really no why, well i guess i do no why, its because i miss derreck so much.  i woke up around 10 and i felt ok, it seemed like it was gonna be an ok day.  i look forward to tthe mail coming everyday, bc when i talked to derreck yesterday he said he sent me some letter, but i still havent gotten them ( Read more... )

i got to talk to my baby today!!! he was able to call me ( Read more... )