don't speak, my old heart

May 14, 2006 22:13



Read more... )

Leave a comment

Comments 27

I think I'm going to cry too. sightempest May 15 2006, 06:25:09 UTC
Kelli Ann Tompkins.
I love you
I love you and I hope, I hope you see that you still have an entire life in front of you to love; don't look in the mirror and search for wrinkles when going out into the sun will make your search eventually much more fruitful, do you know what I mean? Love now and regret later, you can't regret what hasn't happened yet.
I've learned that no-one will come and save you, save us! We can't be saved if we don't go out on a limb for things, and moments, and people. You know when a person drowns, she has to make all these great gestures to capture someone's attention, well that's true in this case, we won't be saved if we don't love enough, if we don't live enough, because in that case who's going to see that we need some kind of saving in the first place?
Don't drown with your arms crossed, reach for things and give birth to waves and "build your castles on the rims of volcanoes".

I

fucking

love

you.

Reply

Re: I think I'm going to cry too. melaverdebella May 16 2006, 20:20:36 UTC
i think the thing i have the most trouble with is not seeing or knowing, because i am smart and i do see and know a lot of things; i just have trouble implementing all the things. i pretend that, in my infinite knoweldge, i cannot do and therefore i must teach. all talk and no action. i hope hope hope i will have the guts to live my life next year instead of just talking about it. i hope i'll realize there's no reason to hope i have the guts ( ... )

Reply


through_worlds May 15 2006, 10:00:56 UTC
i'm not sure if this is going to make any sense at all. but still, i want to tell you ( ... )

Reply

melaverdebella May 16 2006, 20:28:00 UTC
there's a quote that goes something along the lines of 'sometimes the saddest are the ones that laugh the loudest'. i think this is me: although i'm not the saddest, i never really smiled when i was young but i laugh a whole lot now. sometimes i think i shouldn't because not everything is really as funny as i think it is, but that's not true. everything really is just funny. but i'm still sad, jessica. i don't believe in destiny or fate, either, and that's something that gets me down, too. i believe in the complete responsibility of the individual in making his or her own life choices. the fact is, i'm not making the choices i have to make to be happy. i'm CHOOSING to be sad. that's my self-pity complex: i choose to be sad and then i get sad about choosing to be sad because i have no reason to. does that make sense? i don't know how to change. i give up on a lot of things because i'm not very successful at a lot of things, and as much as i pretend, i'm not quite the egomaniac i make myself out to be ( ... )

Reply


(The comment has been removed)

Re: she was out to get back everything she had lost melaverdebella May 16 2006, 20:31:24 UTC
you are just so wonderful!! jesus. thank you for making me smile, lindsay; what a nice thing to do. i want to just share you with the world, dressed in a red ribbon on a pedastal.

what's that subject line from?

Reply


because i'm pretentious like the rest suckyfucky May 15 2006, 17:20:58 UTC
my comment is just going to be lame and without big words and shit because that's not how i do.

you are NOT a potato, we have already discussed this. you are fabulous. you are Kelli Ann with the amazing eyebrows and the educated articulation. (god, you talk like a dictionary) so look in the mirror and smile, because you know you are better than most of the other girls (sans, you know, me and paris hilton) and what you are going to achieve in your life is more than what others dare to dream about. live fast. you are far too old for your own good.

Reply

Re: because i'm pretentious like the rest melaverdebella May 16 2006, 20:35:51 UTC
hahaha you have no idea whether or not i'm a potato, you jerk. although i'll admit i'm feeling a lot better about not being a potato because i started my period today. but, i'm still packing a lot of extra pounds. i need to learn to love working out or something.

you're a good friend to have. i think you're the only one of my friends who would slap me in the face to knock some sense into me. you're a hardliner (in a good way), and i appreciate that.

Reply

Re: because i'm pretentious like the rest suckyfucky May 17 2006, 12:19:30 UTC
i would still take that as a compliment if you meant hardliner in a bad way

Reply


cutmedown May 15 2006, 20:22:29 UTC
oh! you and i were a junction in numbers my heart.

kelli ann! i love you, too. i love you and i will never gather up the strength in my small and futile heart to tell you in the way that i mean it; but i do love you. you have a way of making me feel better when no one else can. i'm not quite sure how to thank you for it, not quite sure that i have even tried, but here it is, my big thank you.

and this- the red walls (red hills, red slopes, nooks and crannies) -reminds me:

You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

Reply

melaverdebella May 16 2006, 20:41:00 UTC
saying it at all is enough to mean it. i'm not the type of person to express my love for my friends very much, but as school is ending, i've realized i need to a little more. i'm really much more expressive of my appreciation for my friends through my actions, but, for everyone here (who lives so far away), all i have is words. i just get worried that they might forget. my family is notorious for being so passive about expressing adoration and things.

so just don't forget how much i care about you and i really hope things fall in place for you.

and thank you for sharing that excerpt - love love love it. what's it from? 'I will show you fear in a handful of dust'. it's all-encompassing right now.

Reply

cutmedown May 16 2006, 21:01:37 UTC
thank you for caring. it means more than you'll ever know.

t. s. eliot's the waste land
one of my favorite poems of all time !

Reply

melaverdebella May 17 2006, 20:44:07 UTC
i'm going to go look it up right now. thank you!

Reply


Leave a comment

Up