Lost in your catacombs
Never felt any distance, never saw any signs, never thought I was slipping - and now I'm out of time. I need to stop right now. I can not fake this anymore, I need control right now and to get my face off the floor. Lost in the catacombs, somehow I'm feeling at home. Not far to go, not far at all.
A storm slowly brewed from his viens. A blink, a splatter - a sudden moment and the world would come crashing down, again. All through my head, because my mind. I saw him, somehow he was me but not quite. Washing through a looking glass at this lost boy wandering like a dead soul. Oh, the pity, the sorrow. The slow progression of a melt down that would bring down his entire world. Like acid on a table slowly corrided through to the floor, through the carpet and floor boards into the soil below. It's all just dirt in the end, so are we. Nothing but a fading glimpse and lost memories... Oh, I do believe I enjoyed watching the melt down..._
"Order up." I shouted it out just to make sure they heard me, even though they never listened. One busy bee whizzed by me to grab the order and take it up front as another set to some meaningless task. They were all meaningless tasks. I spun around slowly soaking in the world around me. That dreadful fryer, the line of food, the floors and the drive thru window. As I came to a halt, the world didn't. It continued to spin, blur into one singular motion. My knees felt weak and I took a step forward, only to feel them slip from underneath me. A quick grab out with my right hand clung to something metallic, but everything was too blurry. I couldn't make out what I was holding onto, but it was all that held me up. My one blessing in this current world. I tried to concentrate, but my entire world was nothing but a whirlwind. Sounds blending together to turn into incoherent babble. The entire world seemed one lump of mixed colors. Finally something broke through, a sound... A voice..
"John, John!" I could feel a warm hand on my shoulder... A realization set in that I was looking towards the floor. As I looked up, I could barely make out my co-workers face. Karen, my mind uttered softly, "John." She repeated, "Are you okay?" I shook my head gently, the motion was enough to make me feel nauseated. I tried to pull myself up, but I didn't have the strength... I didn't have any strength.
I coughed, a violent cough that made my whole body shake softly, "I'm.. Fine." I managed to utter, but I could feel tears stinging the corner of my eyes. I let go of my one support and took a step to the side, "See, completely fine.." I hesitated, than took a step forward back to what I was doing, when the world begun to fall. Tears sprung from my eyes as I fell towards the ground, spinning so that my back slammed against the hard cement floor. My whole body shook softly, trembling as tears streamed down my face. I couldn't, stand. I couldn't move. My entire body felt drained of all energy. My stomach felt ready to vomit up food I hadn't ever ate. All I could do was cry...
"John.." That soft voice again, "I'm going to go get your brother, okay?" My head shook furiously. No, not my brother. He can't know, none of them can. I tried to force myself onto my stomach, but my body wouldn't respond, a sharp cough left the taste of blood in my mouth, "No? John, why? I need to get an ambulance or your brother, which is it?"
My body quivered with anger, boiling from within as I once again attempted to roll over. The taste of blood in my mouth strengthened, my vision turned into a slight red haze as I forced my body onto its stomach. My hands shot out to put my arms into pushup position and I slowly forced myself onto my knees, "I'm ... Fine. I just slipped and hit my head, I'll be fine, I swear." I could still taste blood in my mouth, my voice was shaky and weak. My right hand reached up and took a hold of a thin railing, slowly pulling myself up to my feet, "No reason to alert my family, just a simple fall." I lied, but my voice had grown a bit more steady and strong as I forced my body to pull itself together, once more, "Can I go smoke a cigeratte?" My head turned to look back towards Karen, the rest of the people just blurred in with the rest of the world. Karen nodded her head lightly, concern in her eyes. Slowly I headed out of the store. Cold air rushed over my body as I pushed open the double doors. Stepping outside, my body gave once more. I collapsed to the ground. Foot steps, running foot steps. Slowly I lifted my head up, blood coming from my nose freely and slowly dribbling out the corner of my lip. Brother? My mind questioned softly, but the words never came from my lip. Tears once more stained my eyes as my head sunk forward and blackness overswept my world. No light to ever shine again...
My biggest fear...
-John
A storm slowly brewed from his viens. A blink, a splatter - a sudden moment and the world would come crashing down, again. All through my head, because my mind. I saw him, somehow he was me but not quite. Washing through a looking glass at this lost boy wandering like a dead soul. Oh, the pity, the sorrow. The slow progression of a melt down that would bring down his entire world. Like acid on a table slowly corrided through to the floor, through the carpet and floor boards into the soil below. It's all just dirt in the end, so are we. Nothing but a fading glimpse and lost memories... Oh, I do believe I enjoyed watching the melt down..._
"Order up." I shouted it out just to make sure they heard me, even though they never listened. One busy bee whizzed by me to grab the order and take it up front as another set to some meaningless task. They were all meaningless tasks. I spun around slowly soaking in the world around me. That dreadful fryer, the line of food, the floors and the drive thru window. As I came to a halt, the world didn't. It continued to spin, blur into one singular motion. My knees felt weak and I took a step forward, only to feel them slip from underneath me. A quick grab out with my right hand clung to something metallic, but everything was too blurry. I couldn't make out what I was holding onto, but it was all that held me up. My one blessing in this current world. I tried to concentrate, but my entire world was nothing but a whirlwind. Sounds blending together to turn into incoherent babble. The entire world seemed one lump of mixed colors. Finally something broke through, a sound... A voice..
"John, John!" I could feel a warm hand on my shoulder... A realization set in that I was looking towards the floor. As I looked up, I could barely make out my co-workers face. Karen, my mind uttered softly, "John." She repeated, "Are you okay?" I shook my head gently, the motion was enough to make me feel nauseated. I tried to pull myself up, but I didn't have the strength... I didn't have any strength.
I coughed, a violent cough that made my whole body shake softly, "I'm.. Fine." I managed to utter, but I could feel tears stinging the corner of my eyes. I let go of my one support and took a step to the side, "See, completely fine.." I hesitated, than took a step forward back to what I was doing, when the world begun to fall. Tears sprung from my eyes as I fell towards the ground, spinning so that my back slammed against the hard cement floor. My whole body shook softly, trembling as tears streamed down my face. I couldn't, stand. I couldn't move. My entire body felt drained of all energy. My stomach felt ready to vomit up food I hadn't ever ate. All I could do was cry...
"John.." That soft voice again, "I'm going to go get your brother, okay?" My head shook furiously. No, not my brother. He can't know, none of them can. I tried to force myself onto my stomach, but my body wouldn't respond, a sharp cough left the taste of blood in my mouth, "No? John, why? I need to get an ambulance or your brother, which is it?"
My body quivered with anger, boiling from within as I once again attempted to roll over. The taste of blood in my mouth strengthened, my vision turned into a slight red haze as I forced my body onto its stomach. My hands shot out to put my arms into pushup position and I slowly forced myself onto my knees, "I'm ... Fine. I just slipped and hit my head, I'll be fine, I swear." I could still taste blood in my mouth, my voice was shaky and weak. My right hand reached up and took a hold of a thin railing, slowly pulling myself up to my feet, "No reason to alert my family, just a simple fall." I lied, but my voice had grown a bit more steady and strong as I forced my body to pull itself together, once more, "Can I go smoke a cigeratte?" My head turned to look back towards Karen, the rest of the people just blurred in with the rest of the world. Karen nodded her head lightly, concern in her eyes. Slowly I headed out of the store. Cold air rushed over my body as I pushed open the double doors. Stepping outside, my body gave once more. I collapsed to the ground. Foot steps, running foot steps. Slowly I lifted my head up, blood coming from my nose freely and slowly dribbling out the corner of my lip. Brother? My mind questioned softly, but the words never came from my lip. Tears once more stained my eyes as my head sunk forward and blackness overswept my world. No light to ever shine again...
My biggest fear...
-John