I've wasted so much of my life trying to not let something happen and not even knowing it. Not even knowing what it is. But still building up these walls and securities. And then it happens, and you realize you're left with nothing. All the opportunities and what-could-have-beens are gone in an instant.

So I almost had a breakdown yesterday ( Read more... )

Update on Melissa's life in Florida ( Read more... )

The past few weeks have flown by so quickly I cannot believe they actually happened. Henley was nothing like I had expected. It took me 2 years to get there but even once I had, it didn't feel like it. It was just another race. I kept imagining what it would be like and never actually seeing myself there, and then there it was. Just in a snap ( Read more... )

I learned to knit yesterday. Grandma taught me... and Brian. I took his best yarn because it was multicoloured, and very girly. He was going to use it to knit his iPod sock. I think I might end up making a scarf of mine because I was only taught how to knit and have no idea how to start or finish it. So until I get back from Henley and see my ( Read more... )

I have just witnessed murder. Not human murder, but no big fish eats little fish. This was a poor, helpless, baby rabbit. An innocent baby making painful animal sounds while being eaten alive by a fat crow. When I first heard the noises and came outside, I thought it was a small bird being attacked on my neighbors lawn. As the crow picked it ( Read more... )

Everything is reccuring. Every joy and smile. Every thought and emotion. Every pain and wonder. It's an infinite cycle, never ending. Any feeling that has ever at one point been felt towards something, anything, will in time show itself again. Regardless of what you want, or what you think, it cannot be avoided. Disguised and deceiving, it ( Read more... )

It's amazing how much we can surprise ourselves.

I got hives this morning. I haven't actually had hives for a while now, but I would occasionally get really itchy and my lips would swell up...but no actual bubbly red hives. It was right about this time when I first started getting them 2 years ago. The doctor said it may have been stress onset because the numerous allergy tests showed nothing ( Read more... )

"Poor, unhappy Erik! Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? He asked only to be 'some one,' like everybody else. But he was too ugly! And he had to hide his genius or use it to play tricks with, when, with an ordinary face, he would have been one of the most distinguished of mankind! He had a heart that could have held the empire of the world; ( Read more... )