Jung Yunho's Guide To Shim Changmin
a/n: requested by kpopfanatic, here ya go bb! I'm sorry it's late, lol. months late, I hope you like it bro. ^^ ♥
J u n g Y u n h o ' s G u i d e t o S h i m C h a n g m i n
By Jung Yunho
Now, the magnae, Shim Changmin, aka the evil magnae of Dong Bang Shin Ki, isn’t as evil and rude as he acts in front of cameras. Quite the opposite really. Now I, as the leader and part time “caretaker” of the young and snarky magnae, will dutifully inform you of Changmin’s real identity. Heh. Pretty leader-like, yeah? I thought so too.
Chapter 1
Changmin might appear cold and frightening due to his firm and steady posture, but that isn’t the case really. His eyes, intimidating as they may be, his wry smile, can actually be cute. Amazing, right? Anyway, now, this must be old and all of you knows this, but mismatched eyes, are just completely and utterly adorable.
Don’t know this?
Then go check the internet, you insolent twerps.
Ahem. Moving on. As I was saying, his lips jut out into a pout as he whines of a hungry stomach. Not to me, of course. I can’t cook even if my life depended on it. Which is why I am not a bottom. And other reasons. And of course, Jaejoong just pats his head and smiles, fulfilling his wishes. Ha! That bastard.
Changmin is such a spoiled little child, isn’t he? Well, not a child now, since he grew taller (I do not wear shoe lifts! …maybe.) and more mature and I have to sulk around. Unfair, really. It felt like it was only weeks that he was so cute and fragile that I just want to keep him in my purse. Cough. Bag.
Back to the topic at hand. Even though he snatches Bambi from me every other night, and drools on my precious daughter, I just can’t say no to those big, watery eyes and pouty lips. Especially since Jaejoong whacks me with a spatula if I make his baby cry.
Chapter 2
Now I, being the good and thoughtful leader that I am, read the newspaper every morning at exactly 7 sharp. But today, I am writing. In my reading time. Which is bad since everyone knows, I can’t function properly without my daily news while sipping coffee. And who’s fault is that? That’s right. Shim. Changmin.
Normally, I would scream my head off (literally) that everyone would cower and hide (I am the almighty Jung Yunho, after all). But Changmin is a different case. No, I am not picking favorites, no matter what the other members say.
But he just looked so cute with his light blue shirt, wait, scratch that, my light blue t-shirt that was worn loosely, the worn edges barely reaching down his thighs. My built is bigger so, his creamy white shoulders were shown. Why was he even wearing my shirt in the first place, I would never know. Oh well. At least he looked good in it.
I shall smother him with marshmallow kisses later! Did I mention we’re dating? No? Oh. Well, I’m telling you now then. Did I mention I’m quite forgetful? Well, I am.
…where’s my phone.
Chapter 3
I realize that my entries for the past 2 chapter are quite short, don’t you think? Well, it would have been longer if Changmin wasn’t whining for my attention every 5 minutes. And with Yoosu scampering around the hostel, I’m lucky that I’m not in an asylum. That’s Yoosu effect for you.
Shim. Choigang. Changmin. Pouts.
Can you believe that?
I don’t believe it either, had I not seen it for myself. Of course he does, at the time of our debut and would likely be continuing that sickenly cute image of his; had not Junsu stole it from him. After that, Changmin practically refused to go anywhere near him. His excuse was, “B-but hyung~ I worked hard for that image! And he stole it!” Cue pout and crocodile tears. But then he immediately brightened up after Junsu bribed him of dinner treats and bags of sugar and candy.
Mental that one. Does Junsu not know what happened when the youngest ate sugar? It was… a new experience for us.
He kept bouncing on the walls. Literally. And how he keeps himself entertained by barking at the mailman is beyond us. Whatever keeps him happy, I guess. And don’t even make me tell the time when he drank caffeine and sugar.
Caffeine + Sugar + Changmin = Disaster.
Not a good combination.
Last experience I want to have. Period. It was kind of cute to see him energetic and so hyper. Heh. A ball of hyperactivity. Kind of like Junsu, but… much cuter.
Chapter 4
I am sorry for the rash ending, my beloved readers (ahem, Jaejoong) but that bastard took my notebook away, whilst I was writing. He guffawed when he read this. Hmph. Ungrateful brat.
Another fact you might not know of! Other than those, stalkers and perverts, you regular non-fanatic fans might not know this! …Wait. All our fans are perverted and stalkers and… oh. Well, all of you know this then. So much for unveiling a large surprise.
Shim Changmin has a slim waist.
No, I did not look at him while he was undressing. Or showering. …Fine. But it was only a peek! For about 15-20 minutes.
…Don’t give me that look.
Anyways, if my mind doesn’t fail me as I tried to recall some complex mathematics formula and equation that made no sense at all. Seriously, how can we use that in life?
3² + y +8 [(x + 2y ²=a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z= 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9x
... Proved my point. Completely pointless. Anyway, if I had recalled it correctly, Changmin’s waistline is approximately 25-27 inches.
And I know I’m right, well, since my IQ is 142. Not like Junsu’s IQ; about 100. Seriously, I think that it didn’t even reach the 3 digit mark.
Back to Changmin’s waist. Of course, he didn’t tell and brag about his infamous waistline. “I want to be cool and masculine, hyung-ah!” he had said. Somehow, Changmin and the word “masculine” sound so wrong together.
I prefer him to be a bottom. My power bottom. But no one knows that. Every leader has a secret kept to himself, no?
And, I had checked Changmin’s wardrobe at 4PM today (it was Changmin’s time to take a stroll in the park, I don’t know, it was one of his feminine qualities. He had purchased a white, small, puffy Maltese after all. So not masculine and or manly), and guess. What.
His pants were a size 26. 26! Same size as Jae and Chun, but whatever. His pants were mostly from the women’s section too~ I should know, because-I am the manly, so not feminine leader of Tohoshinki. Let’s leave the scarring moment of mine alone, shall we?
But alas, my readers, I have to go. Go to the faraway land called, “7-Eleven Convenience store” since all the groceries are closed cause its motherfucking 11:30 PM and Changmin ate all our food for tomorrow. Goodbye. This is Jung Yunho, the “man” from Tohoshinki.
I do not collect Disney stuffed animals. No matter what Jaejoong says.
Tip: Buy Changmin more skin-tight jeans. Compliment him of his delectable looking ass.
Chapter 5
It may have seemed that I had made an error in Changminnie’s name.
Mrs. Jung Changmin.
Yes, people. Jung Changmin has effeminate curves. That’s right. S-line.
You can easily see it through his skin-tight tees and wife-beaters. Ehem. Not that I was checking him out or anything. He could easily pass of as a woman but those flat, toned chest of his won’t work out. Perhaps I should give him my man boobs, if possible. There, I admit. Man. Boobs.
Whenever he dances, his shirt clung to him like a second skin, when he jumps, the shirt goes up a couple of inches, revealing the milky skin, making me have a hard time glancing, cough, dancing.
He should be illegal. I could just gag him, throw him inside my room and lock him there forever.
Possessive much? Yeah, but he’s mine. Jung Changmin is mine. Officially.
Chapter 6
Yes, Shim Changmin gets mad, and those stories of him in the bathroom? Not true.
When he gets mad, he has no breaking points whatsoever, so we have no idea if we went too far. But being the polite and courteous magnae that he is, just chucks a person at the offender. That human rag doll, being Jaejoong. Call it the thousand Changmin-nigma.
What makes him mad the most? Steal his favorite snacks.
Tip: Feed him strawberries and other sinfully delectable sweets to appease his anger.
Chapter 7
Jung Changmin, can be annoying sometimes.
Yup, you read correctly. Annoying.
When he whines too much to get my attention, spills coffee on my paperwork, arguing with Junsu, one-touching Jaejoong, and smacking Yoochun on the head because of his greasy pick-up lines.
There is only too much that I could take.
And there is just one time, where I was completely driven against the wall, and he would just not shut up about that Minho. Huh. Mango.
And Kyuhyun. Those magnaes will be the death of us someday.
Anyway, this is an easy problem with an even easier solution.
What to do to just shut him up?
Easy. Push him against a solid object (preferably, a wall), lift him, and kiss him senseless.
Easy problem, easy solution.
Chapter 8
Close relationships. Cassiopeia knows of this fact.
YooChun/Changmin = Kiss Couple. Jaejoong/Changmin = Soul Fighter Couple. Junsu/Changmin = Ximin Couple.
And lastly, Yunho/Changmin = Homin Couple.
I shall not rant my feelings of jealousy here. All of Cassiopeia knows this, but Changmin is especially close to them all.
He goes to Chunface for love advice, Jaejoong to vent out his anger, and Junsu to pull pranks on. Me? He goes to me. Not.
Of course he makes up to me later, but that’s not the point. I have the suspicion that he’s doing it on purpose! I have a feeling that the three (idiots) musketeers have something to do with it as well. If he wants sex, he’s not getting any.
He’s too young…! And having thoughts such as sex against the wall is a crime! D: I still can’t believe Jaejoong tricked him into buying toys. I can’t believe this is turning into a diary. Anyway.
Changmin does anything he can in his power to get what he wants. And since, he’s dating me, and well, you get the point.
“By the power vested in me, you shall give Changmin-“
Yoochun bursts out laughing, “Hyung, what?”
Yunho sighs, and turns away, “You guys are stupid.”
Totally brilliant.
Chapter 9
Our sex life.
Our sex life isn’t that interesting. It just consists of 2 hot guys getting it on. Sometimes, with bondage and toys and school girl outfits. Yup, you heard it. Changminnie has a thing for cross dressing. Well, it’s mostly me, it’s a fetish! A really good one. And let me tell you, those SNSD, 2NE1, MISS A, TARA, Rania, F(x) and others are nothing compared to him in short tank tops and miniskirts.
I have a picture and a tape of one of our most mind blowing sex experience, but it’s for my eyes and my eyes only.
We fuck each other like rabbits, which is the reason why the three have major eye bags, and me wearing a lewd, I-just-got-laid grin, and Changmin exhausted.
One thing you guys don’t know about: Changmin is a kinky bastard. Jaejoong’s recent confession on TV is in fact, true. I am a sadist. And Changmin, is a masochist. Surprised? I think not.
In fact, he gets too clingy during sex, and the punishments do not work on him anymore. He likes, no, loves it, that kinky little slut.
He wears dildos, vibrators even without asking. Licks his lips too seductively, and always wears that damn fedora hat of his, which is a major turn on. Maybe I should extract a cruder punishment.
I am a sadist, after all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jung Yunho (born February 6, 1986), better known by his stage names, U-Know, U-Know Yunho (in South Korea) and Yunho (ユンホ?) (in Japan), is a Korean singer and occasional actor. He is the leader of the South Korean boyband TVXQ. U-Know was born and raised in Gwangju, South Korea. He has a younger sister, Jung Ji-hye. At the age of thirteen he joined SM Entertainment, after winning a dance competition. Before debuting in 2003, U-Know appeared in label-mate Dana's music video for her song "Diamond" as a backup dancer and rapper. He has said he chose his stage name to be U-Know because as the leader of the group, he wants to understand everybody as in "I know you." and "I know that you know that I know you, so you know that I know that we know each other".
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About the Author by Wikipedia. i hope you like it, guys, even a little, lol. Please comment! It gives me motivation :D
J u n g Y u n h o ' s G u i d e t o S h i m C h a n g m i n
By Jung Yunho
Now, the magnae, Shim Changmin, aka the evil magnae of Dong Bang Shin Ki, isn’t as evil and rude as he acts in front of cameras. Quite the opposite really. Now I, as the leader and part time “caretaker” of the young and snarky magnae, will dutifully inform you of Changmin’s real identity. Heh. Pretty leader-like, yeah? I thought so too.
Chapter 1
Changmin might appear cold and frightening due to his firm and steady posture, but that isn’t the case really. His eyes, intimidating as they may be, his wry smile, can actually be cute. Amazing, right? Anyway, now, this must be old and all of you knows this, but mismatched eyes, are just completely and utterly adorable.
Don’t know this?
Then go check the internet, you insolent twerps.
Ahem. Moving on. As I was saying, his lips jut out into a pout as he whines of a hungry stomach. Not to me, of course. I can’t cook even if my life depended on it. Which is why I am not a bottom. And other reasons. And of course, Jaejoong just pats his head and smiles, fulfilling his wishes. Ha! That bastard.
Changmin is such a spoiled little child, isn’t he? Well, not a child now, since he grew taller (I do not wear shoe lifts! …maybe.) and more mature and I have to sulk around. Unfair, really. It felt like it was only weeks that he was so cute and fragile that I just want to keep him in my purse. Cough. Bag.
Back to the topic at hand. Even though he snatches Bambi from me every other night, and drools on my precious daughter, I just can’t say no to those big, watery eyes and pouty lips. Especially since Jaejoong whacks me with a spatula if I make his baby cry.
Chapter 2
Now I, being the good and thoughtful leader that I am, read the newspaper every morning at exactly 7 sharp. But today, I am writing. In my reading time. Which is bad since everyone knows, I can’t function properly without my daily news while sipping coffee. And who’s fault is that? That’s right. Shim. Changmin.
Normally, I would scream my head off (literally) that everyone would cower and hide (I am the almighty Jung Yunho, after all). But Changmin is a different case. No, I am not picking favorites, no matter what the other members say.
But he just looked so cute with his light blue shirt, wait, scratch that, my light blue t-shirt that was worn loosely, the worn edges barely reaching down his thighs. My built is bigger so, his creamy white shoulders were shown. Why was he even wearing my shirt in the first place, I would never know. Oh well. At least he looked good in it.
I shall smother him with marshmallow kisses later! Did I mention we’re dating? No? Oh. Well, I’m telling you now then. Did I mention I’m quite forgetful? Well, I am.
…where’s my phone.
Chapter 3
I realize that my entries for the past 2 chapter are quite short, don’t you think? Well, it would have been longer if Changmin wasn’t whining for my attention every 5 minutes. And with Yoosu scampering around the hostel, I’m lucky that I’m not in an asylum. That’s Yoosu effect for you.
Shim. Choigang. Changmin. Pouts.
Can you believe that?
I don’t believe it either, had I not seen it for myself. Of course he does, at the time of our debut and would likely be continuing that sickenly cute image of his; had not Junsu stole it from him. After that, Changmin practically refused to go anywhere near him. His excuse was, “B-but hyung~ I worked hard for that image! And he stole it!” Cue pout and crocodile tears. But then he immediately brightened up after Junsu bribed him of dinner treats and bags of sugar and candy.
Mental that one. Does Junsu not know what happened when the youngest ate sugar? It was… a new experience for us.
He kept bouncing on the walls. Literally. And how he keeps himself entertained by barking at the mailman is beyond us. Whatever keeps him happy, I guess. And don’t even make me tell the time when he drank caffeine and sugar.
Caffeine + Sugar + Changmin = Disaster.
Not a good combination.
Last experience I want to have. Period. It was kind of cute to see him energetic and so hyper. Heh. A ball of hyperactivity. Kind of like Junsu, but… much cuter.
Chapter 4
I am sorry for the rash ending, my beloved readers (ahem, Jaejoong) but that bastard took my notebook away, whilst I was writing. He guffawed when he read this. Hmph. Ungrateful brat.
Another fact you might not know of! Other than those, stalkers and perverts, you regular non-fanatic fans might not know this! …Wait. All our fans are perverted and stalkers and… oh. Well, all of you know this then. So much for unveiling a large surprise.
Shim Changmin has a slim waist.
No, I did not look at him while he was undressing. Or showering. …Fine. But it was only a peek! For about 15-20 minutes.
…Don’t give me that look.
Anyways, if my mind doesn’t fail me as I tried to recall some complex mathematics formula and equation that made no sense at all. Seriously, how can we use that in life?
3² + y +8 [(x + 2y ²=a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z= 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9x
... Proved my point. Completely pointless. Anyway, if I had recalled it correctly, Changmin’s waistline is approximately 25-27 inches.
And I know I’m right, well, since my IQ is 142. Not like Junsu’s IQ; about 100. Seriously, I think that it didn’t even reach the 3 digit mark.
Back to Changmin’s waist. Of course, he didn’t tell and brag about his infamous waistline. “I want to be cool and masculine, hyung-ah!” he had said. Somehow, Changmin and the word “masculine” sound so wrong together.
I prefer him to be a bottom. My power bottom. But no one knows that. Every leader has a secret kept to himself, no?
And, I had checked Changmin’s wardrobe at 4PM today (it was Changmin’s time to take a stroll in the park, I don’t know, it was one of his feminine qualities. He had purchased a white, small, puffy Maltese after all. So not masculine and or manly), and guess. What.
His pants were a size 26. 26! Same size as Jae and Chun, but whatever. His pants were mostly from the women’s section too~ I should know, because-I am the manly, so not feminine leader of Tohoshinki. Let’s leave the scarring moment of mine alone, shall we?
But alas, my readers, I have to go. Go to the faraway land called, “7-Eleven Convenience store” since all the groceries are closed cause its motherfucking 11:30 PM and Changmin ate all our food for tomorrow. Goodbye. This is Jung Yunho, the “man” from Tohoshinki.
I do not collect Disney stuffed animals. No matter what Jaejoong says.
Tip: Buy Changmin more skin-tight jeans. Compliment him of his delectable looking ass.
Chapter 5
It may have seemed that I had made an error in Changminnie’s name.
Mrs. Jung Changmin.
Yes, people. Jung Changmin has effeminate curves. That’s right. S-line.
You can easily see it through his skin-tight tees and wife-beaters. Ehem. Not that I was checking him out or anything. He could easily pass of as a woman but those flat, toned chest of his won’t work out. Perhaps I should give him my man boobs, if possible. There, I admit. Man. Boobs.
Whenever he dances, his shirt clung to him like a second skin, when he jumps, the shirt goes up a couple of inches, revealing the milky skin, making me have a hard time glancing, cough, dancing.
He should be illegal. I could just gag him, throw him inside my room and lock him there forever.
Possessive much? Yeah, but he’s mine. Jung Changmin is mine. Officially.
Chapter 6
Yes, Shim Changmin gets mad, and those stories of him in the bathroom? Not true.
When he gets mad, he has no breaking points whatsoever, so we have no idea if we went too far. But being the polite and courteous magnae that he is, just chucks a person at the offender. That human rag doll, being Jaejoong. Call it the thousand Changmin-nigma.
What makes him mad the most? Steal his favorite snacks.
Tip: Feed him strawberries and other sinfully delectable sweets to appease his anger.
Chapter 7
Jung Changmin, can be annoying sometimes.
Yup, you read correctly. Annoying.
When he whines too much to get my attention, spills coffee on my paperwork, arguing with Junsu, one-touching Jaejoong, and smacking Yoochun on the head because of his greasy pick-up lines.
There is only too much that I could take.
And there is just one time, where I was completely driven against the wall, and he would just not shut up about that Minho. Huh. Mango.
And Kyuhyun. Those magnaes will be the death of us someday.
Anyway, this is an easy problem with an even easier solution.
What to do to just shut him up?
Easy. Push him against a solid object (preferably, a wall), lift him, and kiss him senseless.
Easy problem, easy solution.
Chapter 8
Close relationships. Cassiopeia knows of this fact.
YooChun/Changmin = Kiss Couple. Jaejoong/Changmin = Soul Fighter Couple. Junsu/Changmin = Ximin Couple.
And lastly, Yunho/Changmin = Homin Couple.
I shall not rant my feelings of jealousy here. All of Cassiopeia knows this, but Changmin is especially close to them all.
He goes to Chunface for love advice, Jaejoong to vent out his anger, and Junsu to pull pranks on. Me? He goes to me. Not.
Of course he makes up to me later, but that’s not the point. I have the suspicion that he’s doing it on purpose! I have a feeling that the three (idiots) musketeers have something to do with it as well. If he wants sex, he’s not getting any.
He’s too young…! And having thoughts such as sex against the wall is a crime! D: I still can’t believe Jaejoong tricked him into buying toys. I can’t believe this is turning into a diary. Anyway.
Changmin does anything he can in his power to get what he wants. And since, he’s dating me, and well, you get the point.
“By the power vested in me, you shall give Changmin-“
Yoochun bursts out laughing, “Hyung, what?”
Yunho sighs, and turns away, “You guys are stupid.”
Totally brilliant.
Chapter 9
Our sex life.
Our sex life isn’t that interesting. It just consists of 2 hot guys getting it on. Sometimes, with bondage and toys and school girl outfits. Yup, you heard it. Changminnie has a thing for cross dressing. Well, it’s mostly me, it’s a fetish! A really good one. And let me tell you, those SNSD, 2NE1, MISS A, TARA, Rania, F(x) and others are nothing compared to him in short tank tops and miniskirts.
I have a picture and a tape of one of our most mind blowing sex experience, but it’s for my eyes and my eyes only.
We fuck each other like rabbits, which is the reason why the three have major eye bags, and me wearing a lewd, I-just-got-laid grin, and Changmin exhausted.
One thing you guys don’t know about: Changmin is a kinky bastard. Jaejoong’s recent confession on TV is in fact, true. I am a sadist. And Changmin, is a masochist. Surprised? I think not.
In fact, he gets too clingy during sex, and the punishments do not work on him anymore. He likes, no, loves it, that kinky little slut.
He wears dildos, vibrators even without asking. Licks his lips too seductively, and always wears that damn fedora hat of his, which is a major turn on. Maybe I should extract a cruder punishment.
I am a sadist, after all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jung Yunho (born February 6, 1986), better known by his stage names, U-Know, U-Know Yunho (in South Korea) and Yunho (ユンホ?) (in Japan), is a Korean singer and occasional actor. He is the leader of the South Korean boyband TVXQ. U-Know was born and raised in Gwangju, South Korea. He has a younger sister, Jung Ji-hye. At the age of thirteen he joined SM Entertainment, after winning a dance competition. Before debuting in 2003, U-Know appeared in label-mate Dana's music video for her song "Diamond" as a backup dancer and rapper. He has said he chose his stage name to be U-Know because as the leader of the group, he wants to understand everybody as in "I know you." and "I know that you know that I know you, so you know that I know that we know each other".
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About the Author by Wikipedia. i hope you like it, guys, even a little, lol. Please comment! It gives me motivation :D